I have a lot of anxiety and don't have good people skills when it comes to conflict and hostility-- I shut right down. I'm not one of those people who can shake things right off or give it right back. When someone really upsets me at work, I'm ruined for the rest of the day.

I guess my question is is there any way during an interview to subtly find out if the workplace there is hostile? I hate interviews. Every time I ask a question of the employer they get paranoid, no matter how subtly I try to ask one.

I have the same problem with my PTSD. My therapist said i have problems with confronting authority figures, etc. (Gee, maybe that came from avoiding my raging stepfather? LOL But we're not here to figure you *why* you are having this problem -- just to figure out *how* to get you thru the day, and get you a good workplace.)

Job books sometimes suggest setting up an Information Interview. You go see the physical layout of a worksite and can meet some people beforehand. If you have good nonverbal spidey sense, and high EQ, etc, maybe you can get a feeling of the work environment before applying for jobs.

http://www.quintcareers.com/information_background.html

I have a lot of anxiety and don't have good people skills when it comes to conflict and hostility-- I shut right down. I'm not one of those people who can shake things right off or give it right back. When someone really upsets me at work, I'm ruined for the rest of the day.



SAME HERE!! Add a little deceit and abuse of power to the mix and you've got my last job experience. I wish I DID have some advice for you. This is an excellent topic though.

Wishing you peaceful work environments in the future. And Welcome to the ADDForums!

Sincerely,
Sue

Hi there Princess. Over the years I have come to realize that no matter where you go, there are always going to be some difficult people to work with. Just out of curiosity, do you see a therapist or counselor for your anxiety issues? If you do, you might want to ask to work on being assertive.

I would ask if the place has a high turnover rate for employees - because if they do have a high turnover rate - that likely means that the place is stressful to work at.

Just my two cents,

At Heart

This type of info is next to impossible to find out. Asking about the previous incumbent is legit....are they still around to offer guidance as you take up the new role?

In any tough work environment there are those that stay and those that move on, and the likelihood is that yo'll be interviewed by "stayers". Every company has its own personality but it takes time to find that out. Looking at the workplace is another....are people interacting alot and smiling when they do? Talk to people when you're waiting to go into the interview.....you often get a far bette picture of the company from the receptionist, tea lady etc than from a manager. One interview I went to I chatted to various people as they came in for tea and realised the company was in mourning after the death of its charismatic founder, and was than able to put the rather strange interview in its context.

Having been in several toxic workplaces I know how much difference one sociopathic boss can make. One thing I would say is don't repeat what you find out from future co-workers/friends on the company in the interview......that can cause serious grief to them if they were giving you a friendly steer.

I'm extremely non confrontational especially in the workplace. And my whole day can be messed up if there's a big issue or debate between me and someone else. I avoid it like the plague.

one of the best ways is to really observe the employees when you go to the interview. get there a few minutes early. listen to what is being said, how people interact, the eye contact they make. anoter sign is what do they have on the walls. Is it art work or a lot of messages about being team players and the need to work together. sometimes to many of these on the walls show the lack of working together at a place.

As many of the others have already written, it is very difficult to tell anything from a job interview alone. From my experience with hostile or frustrating workplaces I can only share a couple of bad signs that you might not see before you actually start working there:
1. Lots of people are on sick leave.
2. People don't take their vacation time, because they are afraid to do so for whatever reason.
3. Gossip; e.g. when the employer says something negative about your predecessor during the interview, but also lots of workfloor gossip about colleagues or bosses. Gossip is always a bad sign.
4. Your pay is lower than you would have expected and there is no room for negotiation (this usually means you will not get a raise any time soon either).
5. If you have more than one interview, you should check if the atmosphere has changed in the meantime (as it might depend on the bosses' mood).

Also, on a more general note: if you know somebody who works or worked there and had a really bad experience with co-workers, take that as a warning and don't apply. Many people ignore those warnings and think it will be all different for them, because people seemed so nice in the five minutes that they spoke to them. (Almost) everybody can be nice for five minutes, even the worst sociopath, or should I say: especially the worst sociopath.

This all sounds a bit depressing, but I hope I didn't make you all paranoid... Good luck with the job hunt!

Hey there! I was in the workforce for many years and although anywhere you go, especialy in a business that employs a lot of people, there are going to be all types. There's nice people, quiet people, attention seekers, people who are too nice, people who are overemotional, people who prefer to work alone, people who will help you, people who wish someone else would help you, people who want to see you succeed, people who think you and everyone else are there to take their job, and just miserable people who are never happy no matter what.

But I've never known a work place to be truly hostile. In the age of lawsuits and political correctness, it's just not allowed. Not because people care more, but because companies can't afford to lose money on lawsuits.

Where did you work before? Was the culture terrible there? I'm concerned that if you're going into a job hunt assuming most work places will be hostile, that you will be looking for that and might miss the good things about a job.

However, what I have learned is that during the interview you should ask a lot of questions. You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. It's okay to be very clear about your needs, as far as scheduling, salary, training, etc. If the interview goes very well and they give you a call back, ask them if you can come in for a few hours and sit with the department you'll be working with. This is something a lot of companies do now. Then you get to see how things are without committing. And even if the employees are on their "best behavior" while you are there, if they are miserable, trust me, you'll know! And you can sort of find ways to ask them about their vacation time, day to day experiences, etc.

Yup. I don' think you can avoid it. You may find a good workplace culture, but the customers might be the ones who are draining and nasty.

I'd really recommend on working on yourself, as uninspiring as that sounds.

What i mean by that is working on your skill set, self awareness, and communication abilities. (stressed out people are often not very self aware. They get to Level 10 freakout and don't know how they got there. With training, i learned my early signs of arousal/stress, before things got out of control.)

For myself, it was so bad for me at the hospital i was at (burnt out nurses are awful), that i sought out proper trauma therapy at a hospital here in Toronto.

(Group therapy (also called IPT, or interpersonal therapy) helped me best, as it identifies our "real life" patterns that keep us "stuck" and unable to advocate for ourselves in the face of bullies. It also identifies past patterns that "set people up" for more problems.)

Consider this scenario:

Think of triggers or stress as being on a 1-10 scale.

When people have been thru hell, a little trigger of "3" for most workers, can seem like an "7" to them. Old events and emotions (sometimes not conciously recalled), will Hijack a person back to that old emotional experience. So a person is really reacting to TWO or more old events, w/o realizing it.

If I could add another "from experience" thing to--if you're very concerned about sterring clear of situations that could cause you stress or anxiety, if possible, stay away from a "team environment" type job at first. (But I like Queens advice too, and eventually if you find coping mechanisms, then team jobs are not so bad. I liked that everyhthing didn't sit on just my shoulders in the team environment) My very first job out of college was in a customer service team. It's near impossible in any sort of team like that to avoid stress at one point or another. Even if the team gets along great, as mine did, if the manager appears to be giving someone more reponsibility, there's conflict. If the manager gives a more experienced member a bit of authority, there's conflict. Things come up all the time.

I think you can ask questions, but you have to ask questions that aren't directly getting to the subject.

Things like:

- Tell me about your management style.
- Tell me about a typical work day.
- What is going really well, what is the best thing the previous incumbent did?
- What projects need immediate attention?
- Ask the other employees: What do you like most and least about working here?

Listen carefully for personal criticisms of the previous staff instead of work project related answers. For the other employees, however, you hope that the thing they like most is something about their co-workers or environment.

Desperate is right in saying you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you however getting the info you need to make a decision is unlikely to come from an interview as it is a very unreal scenario.

I would take issue with Desperate's view that there are no actively hostile workplaces. There are, but it is to some extent dependant on ones character and the way your workmates suss you out. Some workplaces are racist, some sexist and actively mysogynistic others downright bullying. While it is true that this is illegal in most first world countries, that does not stop it and certainly does not stop the low level grief that many people suffer in their workplace.

It has to be said that one person may find a workplace toxic that another finds acceptable and even ennervating, a busy newsroom for example is not a place for the faint hearted, likewise some construction companies foster a darwinistic site environment with weaker employees and subcontractors being subject to ridicule and harrassment.

There are of course companies run/owned by individuals who disregard the law or where mobsters control the workforce and all sorts of extortion and illegality occurs. The dim light of employment law does not reach these places and being a whistleblower isn't good for ones health, fortunately they are rare but they do exist.

Always remember its easier to find a job from a job.