I'm looking for a good way to ensure my 13year old has a better year at school. We had several issues last year such as having a hard time getting out of bed and having a crummy attitude and being frustrated about homework. So I was thinking about some kind of reward chart for him. For example one item might be 'be in the kitchen, dressed by 7am'. I know I have to put down things like 'practice piano', 'brush teeth', 'in bed by 9:30' but I'm not sure how to address homework. I was thinking about 'good attitude toward homework' but that doesn't seem concrete enough. I know I need a 'start homework by 3:30' or something like that but I'm not sure what else to add. Anyone have suggestions?

My big problem is deciding how to reward for these things or when to take away privilidges. The other problem is that these things HAVE to get done no matter what (like homework.) Anyone have good ideas for rewards or any other help to offer? Our problems last year really surrounded the volumes of homework he had (he is also inattentive) and his lousy attitude (or really frustration) doing it.

Help!

Kimka, by volumes of homework, is he not working well in class? Is he on medication?

Find out when he finds it easier to concentrate after school. When I get home from school I feel like I have been drained mentally and cannot concentrate, then later on, about 4PM onwards, I am able to concentrate alot better and that's when I do my homework.

Also reward him for effort and not for whether or not he gets things done or not. It is hard because you want to help him but you also don;t want to be too hard on him because of the ADD.

For rewards you and your son could discuss what rewards are apprpriate if he does well and when there should be punshments and what they will be. Let him think them up himself with you to guide him, this way he will think it's his idea and he is more likely to respond well to it.

I agree with Boone1. I think letting your son choose the reward is a great idea. I feel you though. I have the same issues with my 10 year old. She started school yesterday and I am so fearful of the homework ritual this year. The bad attitude and being inattentive is enough to drive me over the edge. I found that her meds were wearing off around 4pm so the doctor added a small dose in the late afternoon to last until bedtime. This did help us alot. I have tried so many things with my daughter. Rewards, allowance, marble system etc. Nothing has worked for us so far. I am just taking it one day at a time.


JRodriguez

Imnapple, he is not currently medicated. We are going to talk with a doctor in a couple of days to decide what to do about that end. Stimulants and Strattera did not work for him and he was also just diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. And MAN there was a lot of homework for ALL the kids last year in 7th grade. The ADD made it very difficult for him.

Boone1- Last year the only thing that we rewarded was "good attitude" and writing down his assignments. This is probably close to the "good effort reward" I don't think it worked well. Basically it was $1/day of good attitude. Problem was when he went south in behaviour, he just kept going. You get to a point where there is nothing else you can take away too-- like video time. Also sometimes he gets into this funk where he just doesn't care what we do or what we take away and has a meltdown. I guess what I'd really like to see is some internal motivation from him. He really has none related to school.

School starts in a week and I really want to have a plan before then...

JRodriquez-- I feel your pain! Hate to say this but when the workload increases it just gets worse.

As a teacher (albeit of younger children) I would say it is definitely a good idea to involve him in deciding the rewards and sanctions. Draw up a contract with him which you can both sign, showing exactly what the consequences will be and what will happen when. If you have it in writing, you have something to refer back to. Also try and get the school involved in the rewards for homework. Our doctor has told us that with ADHD there isn't enough intrinsic motivation (pride in work etc) so we have to add many rewards! Make each thing very explicit and stick to it rigidly. I developed a contract with a boy in my class, and whenever he breached it I made sure I followed the consequences to the letter. It got to the stage that when he started to go off the rails I only had to mention the contract and he calmed down.
Hope this helps!
Emma

Thank you for your advice!

Hello I am 27 yrs old and recently have been diagnosed with aspergers which in my opinion is mainly a strength. anyway I agree with boone1, the issue with this condition is that it overloads our activities if it gets to harsh and to many activities to worry about. Best way to deal with activities, charts and rewards is too let him pickout some rewards (they can be small usually) for a while. However it may and probably will get to the point where sometime though the year where you may have to take him our of school or activities for breaks, etc.

Lucky for me when this happened to me in high School, my biology teacher knew something was different, and at a certain activity (for me it was disecting) she would let me go to the library and use the computer and work on material there. which help greatly, cause before this happened, I would end up having nervous breakdowns,migraines(severe) and would have to be sent home and sleep for 24 hours. Anyway this usually happened in my senior year which we all is the hardest. IF you can try to get some classes related to computers, art, or music, something related to the enjoyments thoughout each semester, and also if possible get a special resources class where they can do homework or whatever in school, cause usually by the time some of us (not all) get home from school in the late afternoon are just to tired to do homework.