Heres the skinny:

I am age 26 almost 27 and I have been afraid to do social things all my life. I was and am afraid of people and what they will do to me. This was somewhat helped when I exited high school when I joined an anime club. We did things with each other that lasted for about 6 years. However, we have grown up and are slowly turning away. Actually our friendship is hanging on by a thread.

With out going into a lot of detail, the reason is because I lack experience on how dating and relationships work and I lack knowledge on the feelings of love as well as the strength of this feeling.

I just got the guts to ask a girl out on a date which lasted 3 dates and 2 meals. I want to explore this love thing some more, but I have increased anxiety. I know that I need to establish myself with friends, which are lacking at the moment, and to get some more self esteem.

I have so much self pity that a lot of the time when I talk to people about thier problem, it becomes a therapy session for me. I have been like a time bomb many a time when I would openly act depressed irationally, for example I would just walk out of the room without saying anything.

I am also extremely afraid of trying to make new friends. It seems that when I meet people I tend to get mocked a lot. Often saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or just something stupid. And if SCT truely exists I have that as well, because of my "foggy thinking" which in turn makes me sound slow and unintelligent.

I am currently trying to get into clubs at school to try to get more friends as well as to a night club for dancing.

I don't know if I got my point across, it is late and I am quite depressed at the moment from the knowledge of how my lack of understanding of relationships and my lack of knowledge of how love affects me has pretty much killed my friendship.

I know where you're coming from; I used to be like you. Now for the bad news: my solution came in a bottle labelled Lexapro. I know no longer fear social situations (parties and dinners were scarey stuff!). Like you, I would obsess over not saying the wrong thing, so I'd end up saying nothing at all.

I suggest you see a GP. They might put you on a short course of meds to help you break the cycle and regain your confidence, then you can go sailing on your own.

On a side note: another thing that helped was giving up gluten--man that was making me sick.

Edit: Also look into giving online dating ago. It gives you the chance to talk to women in a more relaxed environment. You can also use online dating sites to make friends too. I met my fiancee online. :cool:

I am on lexapro right now and I am currently using 40mg which is pushing the limit of the drug. I need to find another drug soon.

What is GP?

Also, thanks for the online dating suggestion, i think that I will give it a go. But first I need to get help on my self esteem issues.

I can also relate although I've overcome a lot of my social anxiety issues mostly through positive self talk but I can remember a time where I was aboslutely terrified of speaking to someone I knew from school in a supermarket...it just crippled me with severe embarrasment and I didn't understand why and geez, I would just look dumbfounded and lost for words....boy didn't I get in some trouble for that!! Mum would always have a go at me for being "rude" etc etc but it was clear she didn't understand...I don't have much time left on the net so I'll be back to this thread tomorrow.

Take Care
Selena:)

I am on lexapro right now and I am currently using 40mg which is pushing the limit of the drug. I need to find another drug soon.

What is GP?

Also, thanks for the online dating suggestion, i think that I will give it a go. But first I need to get help on my self esteem issues.
Well CrazyGirl's suggestion of positive self-talk is good, so I recommend you look at self-help things like Anthony Robbin's tapes etc (if you're resourceful, you can find them online for free *wink wink*).

Also, some books I read which helped me alot were, "Why Men Lie and Women Can't Read Maps", "Why Men Lie and Women Cry" & "The Definitive Guide to Body Language", all by Barbara and Allan Pease. These books are gold when it comes to understanding the differences between men and women. The body language book also helps you understand the signals and social cues that you've probably been missing out on. Also, understanding body language helps when it comes to communicating with women because it's one of the many languages they speak. Women don't put so much importance on what words you actually use when talking, they're mainly listening to how you say what you say, as well as how you feel when you're saying it.

If you're further interested in body language, then books on poker tells (signs, signals, cues and nuances people give off that indicate a person's confidence level) expand on it further (esp. helpful for lie detection--my fiancee has a difficult time lieing to me). :cool:

PS: GP = General Practioner. It's the Aussie term for your general, all-purpose, run of the mill, family doctor that you see on a regular basis.