View Full Version : help


dommi132
08-29-07, 05:31 AM
I am very much depressed. One part is that I am changing meds, I think that it is helping me to think better, like I always wanted. However, I am finding out that while I thought that I was helping one of my friends realize her relationship was bad, I ended up making her afraid of me. Not because of violence, but because I had also said that I loved her months earilier. So she thought that I might do something, I guess. I didn't know that I was hurting her. I thoguht that I was helping her.

Before I changed medication, my depression got worse and I think that it was because I went out for the first time in my life and it failed horribly. Instead of being able to let it go, I see her at work every Friday and Saturday, because she is a represenitive of a company whose products we sell. I can't get away from my failure and move on. I have to say to her that yeah, we can be friends, because at the end of our short relationship she wanted to be friends. I can't get away because she works in my department.

sloppitty-sue
09-14-07, 10:17 AM
Oh dommi - I am so sorry you are going through this sort of pain right now. Man - I have absolutely "been there" - and even "am there" RIGHT NOW - it's just that it has been over six months since my "break up" and I don't have to see him every day and all that. PLUS (and this is something I might want to think a little more about, just noticed a bit of a connection???) I have SO MANY PROBLEMS right now. These BIG crisis' such as being without hot water for over 3 months now - and HEAT (and it's beginning to get cold in the early mornings), AND my teenager already struggles with depression, ACNE, and getting herself together to get to school . . . NOT HAVING HOT WATER is really pushing her to the breaking point!!! Anyway . . . there's more, but you get the picture: I've got all these THINGS to DISTRACT ME from my pain!!

Dommi - forgive me if you've already posted this somewhere, but I was wondering if the lady you recently went out with and then she said she just wanted to "be friends" - is she someone you've had feelings for for a long time?? I am guessing that you are single and not tied down too much, and so I am assuming that - PRACTICALLY speaking - you are able to date another gal (or several other gals) without much restriction. Is it that you find it difficult to get a date, or is it that you just really were all gaga over THIS particular gal?? (And let me tell you, without actually having spent much time dating this person - what you really would be in love with is a fantasy. There's a very good possibility that she ain't all that - so, perhaps, try imagining her doing something you find REVOLTING! Picture some negative images of her like that! They could be more accurate than your prior impressions - ya know? And maybe that will HELP you get over her a bit faster . . . I've used this technique myself.)

Anyway - let me know how you're doing. Oh - and what do you do besides work? Do you have any hobbies that bring you to places where you might meet new people? Maybe you could start trying to just socialize IN GENERAL a little more. Maybe go bowling, join a team, join a book club or the YMCA . . . stuff like that. The reason being that the more people you meet, the more opportunities to find friendship, companionship, etc.

Take very good care. You're a good person. But remember - no matter WHO you are - not everyone wants to date everybody. Know what I'm saying? It's not always about YOU and/or that something's WRONG with YOU. There are a gazillion reasons why someone might not want to date someone. So please don't heap all sorts of uncalled for SELF-REPROACH onto your psyche. These things take MEGA-PATIENCE!! Do most of us ADHDers have mega patience (or any patience)?? :p

Later sweets,
Sue

JohnSmith
09-16-07, 09:52 PM
Im sorry that I dont have much to say other then that Im right there with you Dommi.