missing_cues
01-27-04, 01:08 AM
Hi,
My name is Steven. I have attention deficit disorder among other issues. Since I was about twelve years old I have constantly beaten myself up and hated myself. I was diagnosed at 19 with the ADD. On january 26, 2004 I came as close to killing myself as I have ever been. I went to the bar after a long day and drank a couple pints. On my way back to my office I was having severe thoughts of suicide and was about ready to slit my wrists when I arrived at the office. I have always been skeptical of religion and have always been a little bit wary of those with too much power....but I have always retained a close personal relationship with a higher power that some call god, yahweh, allah, buddha whatever....I have always been spiritual. Anyway, I looked up to sky and begged for forgiveness for any sins I may have committed and prayed for the strength to carry on in life. When I arrived at my office I was still down and depressed and so I opened a file containing a picture of my friend Issy. I smiled...I smiled a real smile for a very extended period of time. I went to my office, took out a sheet of paper and began writing about myself....about how I am a good person, about how I care for others and often put myself before others and often overlook myself as a worthwhile human being. I wrote that I deserved self love....and that I am a dedicated person in the service of others and how I am a worthwhile human being....and that I can only do so much. I turned the sheet of paper over and began writing a letter to my friend Issy (Ysemay Grant Ferguson) in England. I truly believe that this was a miracle. I truly believe that there are angels on earth and that Issy is one of them. Her smile makes me smile, and no matter how low I feel, I always feel like I am loved when I think of her. I thank god that I met her and I would like others to believe that no matter what you want to call it or him, god, allah, whatever....if you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness he will give you that added bit of strength to carry you through life. Miracles do happen, and there are those that are put on this earth to save us and to remind us that love does exist. I assure you that this is the first time I have felt love for myself in a very long time. Thank you god and thank you Ysemay. peace be with all of you
Steven
My name is Steven. I have attention deficit disorder among other issues. Since I was about twelve years old I have constantly beaten myself up and hated myself. I was diagnosed at 19 with the ADD. On january 26, 2004 I came as close to killing myself as I have ever been. I went to the bar after a long day and drank a couple pints. On my way back to my office I was having severe thoughts of suicide and was about ready to slit my wrists when I arrived at the office. I have always been skeptical of religion and have always been a little bit wary of those with too much power....but I have always retained a close personal relationship with a higher power that some call god, yahweh, allah, buddha whatever....I have always been spiritual. Anyway, I looked up to sky and begged for forgiveness for any sins I may have committed and prayed for the strength to carry on in life. When I arrived at my office I was still down and depressed and so I opened a file containing a picture of my friend Issy. I smiled...I smiled a real smile for a very extended period of time. I went to my office, took out a sheet of paper and began writing about myself....about how I am a good person, about how I care for others and often put myself before others and often overlook myself as a worthwhile human being. I wrote that I deserved self love....and that I am a dedicated person in the service of others and how I am a worthwhile human being....and that I can only do so much. I turned the sheet of paper over and began writing a letter to my friend Issy (Ysemay Grant Ferguson) in England. I truly believe that this was a miracle. I truly believe that there are angels on earth and that Issy is one of them. Her smile makes me smile, and no matter how low I feel, I always feel like I am loved when I think of her. I thank god that I met her and I would like others to believe that no matter what you want to call it or him, god, allah, whatever....if you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness he will give you that added bit of strength to carry you through life. Miracles do happen, and there are those that are put on this earth to save us and to remind us that love does exist. I assure you that this is the first time I have felt love for myself in a very long time. Thank you god and thank you Ysemay. peace be with all of you
Steven