Hello everybody. I am glad I found this forum because I have already picked up a lot of useful information from it. This is my first time posting here and I guess I am just seeking advice and maybe encouragement? I apologize in advance if this post ends up being longer than I intended it to be (this paragraph is already longer than I intended it to be). Let me just say to whoever takes the time to read this: I am very frustrated and confused and appreciate your time and advice.

I'll try to be as brief about my history as possible, but long story short: There is no doubt I had ADD/ADHD as a child but I was never diagnosed or treated b/c I was a smart kid, graduated top of my class, etc. and my parents assumed that I was fine despite the other symptoms of ADD/ADHD that I exhibited. Basically ADD caused problems for me (socially) in middle school, junior high, etc. However things seemed to subside through late high school and college.

It wasn't until I started working at my current job (in law enforcement) that familiar problems started resurfacing. I have always tried to cope with having ADD/ADHD and avoid having to see a doctor. Part of it is because I was embarassed, stubborn, and being a cop doesn't make it any easier to seek the advice of mental health professionals. Even though I understand it was not a big deal, I guess in my mindthere was still some stigma there and my pride was involved.

My reason for saying all this is that I finally sought help of medical professionals regarding this problem. This was kind of a 'last ditch effort'. Problems have reached suched a boiling point at work that I am transferring to another district and have even contemplated resigning from a job that I love and wanted to do all my life. I am good at my job and my supervisors appreciate my 'positive' add characteristics (ability to multi-task, my enthusiasm, etc), but my peers resent many of them (especially the talking!!)

The advice that I do receive from those who I work with (including supervisors) is "Just do your job, keep your mouth shut..." That is easier said than done, and brings on the question, "How am I supposed to socialize with people if I don't talk with them?". Of all my ADD/ADHD symptoms, these are the worse: the constant talking, being decribed as 'annoying', impulsively saying things that I shouldn't, lacking the internal "filter" that tells everybody else, "Hey dont' say that!"

Anyway, these problems have reached a boiling point and my last hope was to seek help. I contacted my family doctor who told me she couldn't do anything and to see a psychologist. I saw a psychologist who diagnosed me with ADD/ADHD and sent me back to my family doctor for medicine. My family doctor refused to start me on mediciation because she was "uncomfortable" doing so and suggested I see a psychiatrist. I have not done that yet (seeing a psychologist was hard enough).

I am very frustrated because it has taken me my whole life thusfar to seek this help, and I feel like I am going around in circles. I have met with my psychologist (that's still hard to say)three times and feel that I am not dealing with these symptoms any better. The psychologist recommended I started taking more caffeine. I have done this and I do not feel there is much of a difference (slight difference). In addition, he has me listening to these self-hypnotic tapes which I have been doing every night. (I think they're supposed to help but I don't know how). I do not feel like they are having any affect.

My reason for these unnecessarily long post is to defer to everybody's experience and get advice on these issues. What should I realistically expect to happen now that I am on the path to treatment? I am on a pre-planned vacation which happens to fall at a good time; but when I return, what if the problems continue to worsen? I am frustrated and confused because it was very difficult to get help (I know that shouldn't be an issue but it was), and I feel that it ishaving no affect. I am not currently on any medications. I understand that I wouldn't see immediate results even if I was, but what else can I do??? I feel like I'm being bounced from doctor to doctor and that there's not much more I can do but wait and see what happens. I feel powerless regarding these problems.

Throughout my life, without really knowing it, I have been compensating for ADD by keeping myself focused and on track (checklists, to-do lists, notes etc) Are there any coping mechanisms you all can recommend? (especially dealing with incessant talking and interrupting). Any good books I should check out? Any advice that you all can offer is greatly appreciated. In addition, if could maybe link me to any similar posts with some similar issues that would also be appreciated. (Yeah.....much longer than I had planned.... oh well..... I'll make it up on the next one). Thanks.

Welcome to the forums, John2051...

I have a few things to say (besides "I sympathize" and "Been there...")...

Firstly... if you have the urge to talk a lot... come here and do it! Basically, as long as you follow the rules, you can talk yourself blue in the face here and nobody will care. :D

Second... books. We have a whole section devoted to them here:

http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=36

I would recommend you explore the entire site, though. ADD is too comprehensive a problem to find spot solutions for the worst issues IMHO. I think there is a LOT of useful information around and it normally appeals to the ADD brain to explore through it anyways I think... ;)

If you can't find a thread devoted to a particular problem (i.e. "I talk too much") then START one. If there is a duplicate that you missed, we will let you know, and you don't need to be embarrassed about that, it happens semi-regularly around here.

Glad to have your perspective on board with the rest of us.

-Paul

Hi John 2051. I, too, can sympathize. I always say that my internal censor is on permanent vacation.:)

Is there another family practioner you could see and bring diagnosis? That might be easiest. Check your insurance health provider directory, most have one online.

I know what you mean about it being difficult to see a psychiatrist. The degree of it seems "worse" than just seeing a psycologist. I thought that I would have to admit to being ceritfiable. From experience, I can tell you, it is not that way at all. Actually, the psychiatrist I see, every other month, focuses on the medication. He is availabe to me to discuss issues, but he prefers that I have the talking kind of therapy with a counselor in his office every other week. He reads her notes and they discuss (I suspect) my progress.

This type of care has been a great relief to me. You may have to try out several scenarios before you find the right one for you. When you find the right type of help, it makes all the difference in the world.

I have also incorporated this forum into my plan for not letting my ADHD get me. For me, the more "supports" I have in place in the different areas of my life, the easier it is to manage.

Best of luck to you.

Welcome John,
I agree with what everyone else has said. I would use the web to find someone in your area that specializes in ADD. Like flakey I have a psychaitris who does my medicine and a counselor that helps with behaviors and is very supportive. I also go to an ADD group once a month. I would reccomend finding out as much as you can about ADD.
Do not worry about long posts. We are here to listen. I have gone on and on about my marriage and its problems. People have accepted me and continue to support me. We will do the same for you.
Jim

Yes we do, Jim:D

Thanks Flakey!! I love your positive outlook! :)

Originally posted by gymsocks
Welcome John,
I agree with what everyone else has said. I would use the web to find someone in your area that specializes in ADD. Like flakey I have a psychaitris who does my medicine and a counselor that helps with behaviors and is very supportive. I also go to an ADD group once a month. I would reccomend finding out as much as you can about ADD.
Do not worry about long posts. We are here to listen. I have gone on and on about my marriage and its problems. People have accepted me and continue to support me. We will do the same for you.
Jim

I, too, agree with the advice that's been given to you, John. (BIG OL' WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, BTW!!!) I know that through networking we here at the Forums can get you in contact with a much more suitable and knowledgeable doc--that is KEY to dealing with our gift of ADHD.

Never hesitate to ask. Never hesitate to ramble. We ALL monologue!

smooch

Welcome John,
I agree with what everyone else has said. I would use the web to find someone in your area that specializes in ADD. Like flakey I have a psychaitris who does my medicine and a counselor that helps with behaviors and is very supportive. I also go to an ADD group once a month. I would reccomend finding out as much as you can about ADD.
Do not worry about long posts. We are here to listen. I have gone on and on about my marriage and its problems. People have accepted me and continue to support me. We will do the same for you.
Jim


I just went to a doctor in my area who has add listed as a specialty and halfway through my first session she told me she doesn't believe add exists....

Hello Everyone,

I found this forum a couple of days ago and found this thread just now and it seems a good place for my first post as "getting frustrated" is something with which I can identify. I'm on the edge of a healthy disrespect for psychiatrists.

In Dec. 2005, at age 54, I was diagnosed as ADD (inattentive) with Social Phobias (hey, aren't phobias irrational fears? ...wait a minute) which seems accurate to me. I was impressed by my first doctor (a psychiatrist, let's call him Dr. K) as he seemed to know more about me than I did myself. For instance he said that I probably went to see Psychological Services at the first university I attended in my second semester -- and he was right about that. After trying Provigil and Adderall, we settled on Dexedrine (two 15mg doses per day) for various reasons, mostly dealing with effectiveness and cost. Now, as I relate this there is a danger of getting lost in detail so I'll fast forward to summer 2007 when Dr. K. retired from family psychiatric practice to join a preventive medicine corporation. I cast around for a doctor and, after rejecting a clinic that did mostly court ordered therapy (and that rather poorly, I might add) I settled on the local hospital's outpatient clinic.

At that clinic the intake interview with the psychologist, Mr. J., seemed to go okay and at the end of that Mr. J. said we hadn't finished and wondered if I could get together again. Okay, I said -- but at the end of the second session I was feeling kind of beat up emotionally as Mr. J. seemed to grind down on all of my failings; of which I've got a couple. At the end of that session I ask what it was we were doing and he said "cognitive-behavioral therapy". As I had had reason to believe it was an extended intake interview (that is what he had said it was going to be) I suggested that we wait until I saw a doctor and see if the doctor recommend therapy before continuing. Mr. J. suggested that if I didn't see use in therapy (not quite what I had said) I should go to an MD.

So I did that. When I started there I ask if that office had any problems with Dr. K.'s diagnosis or therapy and they said "no problem". Nevertheless, the first words out of the physician's assistant's mouth to me was "you're too old to be taking Dexedrine -- I want you on Provigil". I pointed to the record I had provided which said "did not tolerate Provigil" (which she was holding in her hand but had not yet looked at) and from there she took the challenge of trying to find something wrong with my heart, which heart is actually in pretty good shape apparently except that each time I'd go in, as they continuted to try to find some excuse to change medication, my blood pressure went up as soon as I'd walk in the door -- on the order of an additional 10 points per visit. When it got to 165/95 even with recently prescribed blood pressure medication, a doctor there finally said he was going to have to believe that it wasn't that high all the time or I'd be dead. He concluded that I was "too complicated" for a GP and referred me back to the outpatient clinic.

The GP's office had been prescribing on a 10 day cycle and I'd lost my place in line at the clinic and couldn't get another appointment for 35 days. I ask the clinic if they could help with the impending medication lapse and they said they couldn't as I wasn't a patient there. Sure, I'd had two paid sessions there but I had seen someone else since so -- okay, whatever. I called around the hospital to see if there was anything to be done and a nurse I talked to in Med/Psych said I had a medical emergency and should see the psychiatrist on-call at the emergency room. So I go there and ended up in a room by myself for two hours with no one coming and saying what was up with the two armed guards who were standing by the door (for two hours). Finally a LPN came in an said they couldn't help me and I said "fine" and ask to see the hospital patient relation guy -- something about a $300.00 emergency room bill that I was thinking I really shouldn't have to pay (seeing as I was only doing what the hospital told me to do and all of that). This was an adventure in itself and ultimately they deferred the bill.

So finally I see one of the outpatient clinic doctors (Dr. G.) and got back on the ADD medication. All in all I thought I was handling all of this fairly well and, although I had been reduced to tears in the session with Mr. J. and while sitting under guard for two hours in the ER -- but I hadn't punched anyone out or yelled at them or anything like that. The doctor giggled (como uno senorito, if you know your Spanish slang) all through the interview, which was odd enough; and he order extensive blood test for drugs of abuse. In my second interview with Dr. G. he seemed surprised that the blood test had come up clean (doh! -- guess what, not even traces of Dexedrine). But pretty much the focus of this second session was Dr. G. telling me -- no, he got up and pantomimed it out -- about a terrible, permanent paralytic condition called "tardive dyskinesia" that the Dexedrine would probably cause and how the medication would cause sudden death and psychosis. I'm thinking at that point, boy! ...this is just the positive support that I need to get the most out of my therapy, eh? ...and also bitting my tongue to keep from pointing out that tardive dyskinesia not only wasn't a paralytic condition and wasn't associated with Dexedrine but rather long-term use of neuroleptics and that my heart was in good shape and I probably wasn't in any danger of suddenly dropping dead. But at least at this point I'm back on the ADD medications and so I am dealing with it.

When at my and Dr. G.'s third session he starts pantomiming this horrible paralytic fate again I suggested that he meant "amphetamine induced stereotypy" and ask if I could see the other doctor at the clinic, who was their ADD man anyway. Dr. G. said he wanted to keep me as a patient but didn't mind if I sought a second opinion. So I had gotten an appointment with the other doctor when it occurred to me that the clinic had been acting a bit strange from the beginning and I thought to ask to see my medical records to check and see what they were thinking about me.

Oh, my... these records! The intake psychologist, Mr. J., for what ever reason (I shudder to speculate) had misinterpreted (I'm being generous) everything that I had said (no kidding) and, just for good measure, made up several thing that I hadn't said -- even at two points in his reports he stated that he was making up stuff. My interest in ecology became, in Mr. J.'s report "Pt. says that the trees answer him in his own voice" and this became in Dr. G.'s records as "psychosis: mild; he says they [sic] trees talk to him in his own voice". I didn't say that I talked to trees, okay?

I won't go into all of the details but they include things like me supposedly admitting to drug seeking behavior (I never said that) and thereby being diagnosed as abusing amphetamines. When ask if the medication changed anything I had said, "compared to now it's as if I had been sleepwalking" and that became "It changed my life. I'm not sleepwalking" which became a diagnosis by Dr. G. of "Sleepwalking Disorder (by History)". A Family Trust Fund that my father and I built up by building and remodeled houses and which I am a Trustee of became a personal trust that was set up because I was unemployable(!). A just under 3000 square foot house deeded to the Trust which was traded for some land I now live on became a 4000 square foot house which I had "inherited". Eighteen years of procrastination before checking out an ADD expert became eighteen years of trying unsuccessfully to find someone to work with. And on, and on and on. So was this Mr. J. stupid; was he incompetent? ...did he do a hatchet job on me because I didn't think his therapy would be that useful to me? I don't know, but I do know the distortion of things that I said and the confabulation of things that I didn't say is pretty creepy.

But it wasn't just him. Apparently by this time this record was picking up some inertia. In the second session with Dr. G. we were talking about other people in my family with ADD/ADHD, like my father and his father. I told Dr. G. a story my mother had related about my father freaking out once when I was very young over some incident and how he chased me around the house with a flyswatter until my mother called the game off to serve dinner. My dad never caught up with me (I understand from the story my mother told) and ended up himself in tears of frustration and embarrassment. (I should point out that I've never been subjected to corporal punishment by my parents; this was a single and unsuccessful attempt.) My mother's story ends with the punchline that I had made so much noise during the futile chase that the neighbors must have thought that I was being beaten within an inch of my life. In Dr. G.'s report it says that I had told him that "I was hyperactive until I was beaten within a [sic] inch of my life -- chased around the house".

Well, let's go on... this just makes me feel sick to my stomach and more than a little sad. It does, however, explain why the hospital staff was treating me like a psycho -- after all I thought the trees were talking to me, right? (As a side note: Dr. G. did decide to increase the Dexedrine 33% to two 20mg doses per day -- only mildly curious for some one that he had - albeit incorrectly - diagnosed as abusing amphetamine.)

So, thinking that some sort of clean break was indicated before I did loose my temper and end up forcibly institutionalized behind some sort of pharmaceutical straight-jacket, I made appoints with a clinic the next town over. I showed everyone there the records in question but declined to officially release them until such time as I could sit down with someone and make the error in those records plain. It seemed like a good plan at the time.

Well, it turns out that my new doctor, Dr. E., used to work with Dr. G.

I've had one session with him and he wonders (after me showing him the unofficial records from the previous clinic) if it was not the medication that "caused my problems with" the other clinic. He suggests that I take anti-psychotics and back off of the ADD medication. What he has made so far of the records that I showed him is that I was upset because Mr. J. got the name of my business wrong!

On the up side of this at least he (Dr. E.) seems open in telling me what his concerns are (at least I hope he is) which gives me a chance (for the first time) to do an informed rebuttal -- maybe something like it probably wasn't the medication because I wasn't taking medication when I was evaluated by Dr. G. -- something like that. But I did notice that when I was leaving Dr. E.'s after the first interview he had me sign three information release forms which had not been filled out. Quite a blank check for them, really, but it will be interesting to see what the forms' ultimate disposal will be; I don't particularly care if they use them to retrieve my disputed record and I am getting used to deception being a standard practice in psychiatry.

So in three days I have an appointment with a psychologist at Dr. E.'s clinic in which I hope to be able to get the idea across that my previous record is a grievous distortion. And then I have an appointment with Dr. E. next week in which I hope I can explain to him that the medications have been very helpful and should be continued. I'm going to time my medication for both meetings for maximum beneficial effects 'cause it really does make me significantly less impulsive and more collected. Maybe, just maybe, it will all work out and I will be able to continue the therapy which has (to use a phrase) changed my life.

Sometimes I wonder if all of this has been worth the considerable stress that it has been. Other times I think it is invaluable first-hand experience in understanding how screwed up medical practice really is. No doubt in some backhand way all of this is contributing to my spiritual growth, I guess.

Well, wish me luck. I appreciate feeling there's somewhere that I can talk about this without the risk of getting three or four more weird diagnoses dumped on me. Thanks.

Robert

I know how U feel, 36 male, 2 kids, 50+ jobs, no stability, ect