how does anyone else here cope with snide comments on the school gate made by other mothers and some even meant to be close friends about your childs illness, i am really angry tonight as my child had a really bad day today and needed to have team teach as he was hitting his head against a wall for most of the day and needed extra staff to keep him safe, i was met by comments of well they need to sort him out as its not fair on the other children in the class to be disrupted, i got so angry but said nothing, i felt like saying well we pay over 11 thousand pounds a yr in tax so my kid is entitled to an education as well as yours just because he has special needs it makes him no different to your child , and by the way how would you feel if your child whos so perfect spent the day so anxious and hitting there head, i think they might see things slightly different... god i am so angry and frustarted tonight and tearful too.

I hope someone has a good answer for you b/c after 11 years I still haven't found one except to be honest and say my son has ADHD and we are working to help him all we can.


I remember so many times being made to feel like a bad parent of a bad kid.....Hugs to you....

thankyou it does help to chat on here, im feeling really angry tonight as the comment i mentioned was from one of my so called best friends who knows the deal with my boy and has seenover the years what i have been thru, it just really hurts me.



I hope someone has a good answer for you b/c after 11 years I still haven't found one except to be honest and say my son has ADHD and we are working to help him all we can.


I remember so many times being made to feel like a bad parent of a bad kid.....Hugs to you....

Hmmm...depending on the day I give a mental "bird" and a few choice words I wouldn't say in front of my kids. Then I move on (mostly). Usually I give that nice flat, hard, borderline dirty look that says "I'm PO'ed, it's none of your beeswax, like you're kid is so perfect, get over it before I rip you a new one." I gave up defending his DX. Too many people don't believe it anyway, so I stoped wasting my time.

how does anyone else here cope with snide comments on the school gate made by other mothers and some even meant to be close friends about your childs illness, i am really angry tonight as my child had a really bad day today and needed to have team teach as he was hitting his head against a wall for most of the day and needed extra staff to keep him safe, i was met by comments of well they need to sort him out as its not fair on the other children in the class to be disrupted, i got so angry but said nothing, i felt like saying well we pay over 11 thousand pounds a yr in tax so my kid is entitled to an education as well as yours just because he has special needs it makes him no different to your child , and by the way how would you feel if your child whos so perfect spent the day so anxious and hitting there head, i think they might see things slightly different... god i am so angry and frustarted tonight and tearful too.How terrible for you, and your son too. Comments like that are about as much help as toothache. My son's issues are mainly dyslexia and a few other things associated with it. Luckily he doesnt have much behaviourial stuff as well. But I have a few friends that have children that sadly are on ritalin and have really big issues. Interestingly my son has more in common with them than his peers at school.
I am well aware after standing with my friends, the 'looks' and whispers and the not-so-nice comments. I've even had it because my boy is struggling and I know that a few people that I know whisper about him. It truly is horrible, I know.And I can understand that it is difficult to be as hard as nails and not show that you are wounded or even care what they say. There is not alot that I can say to comfort or even support you during these rotten moments. But from a personal point of view, I wouldnt give them the satisfaction of seeing you crack under their glares. Smile sweetly and move on as best as you can. It doesnt hurt to let them know that you have the teeth of a crocodile occasionally. It might even put a few in their place from being downright rude. If they choose to whisper about you, let them get on with it,as long as its not loud enough for you to hear. If you can hear them, ask them to speak up or quieten down as its rude. Try not to swear at them. They will just brand you as a fishwife. Just be honest and say that it is all a working progress. In a while, it'll be some other poor devils turn. Chin up my friend. There is alot of it about unfortunately, just try to see your way past it all as best as you can.
A good thread on here is Love & Logic. Have a chat with Amypaige. PM her if you feel that is better. She is fab. I know a good chunk of your stress is other parents, but Amy is ace at giving out strategies. She has helped me loads.
Stay cool, dry your tears,put the kettle on (very english arent we?) and track Amy down. I hope this will help you somewhat.
Hope it improves for you. Lots of very supportive hugs going your way....;)

thankyou all for your kind words and support this forum is great isnt it!! ive chosen to say just a simple yeah hes fine and change the subject quickly now when they ask about how hes doing , because quite frankly there is no point in talking to people about whats happening when they have no idea about ADHD and therefore cannot say anything positive to me as they just think hes a bad kid who needs a firm hand i feel.
i think i shall leave me worries on here to discuss with good people like yourselfs who know what its like and can connect with me on how im feeling!!
Take care all and hope everyone is having a good day so far

be on here later!
lisa.xxxxx

lisa,

You have my sympathy. Other parents and even strangers can cause us sooo much pain. Even the ones who think they are helping or trying to help. I, too, learned early on to just say things like "we have everything under control, don't worry". I also quit trying to explain or defend my child because IMHO it was none of their business and I didn't have the impression that they really gave a hoot.

What was important to me were (and still are) the close friends who truly cared about our family and were aware of our troubles. They were a lifesaver when it came to the feelings of isolation that do hit parents of these special kids. The other important thing over the years was our contact with our son's psychologists who were able to constantly reassure us that we were fine AND our son was fine given his limitations.

I'm glad you have found the support you need here. Keep on keeping on and try to hang on to the good days and let go of the bad. That's easy for me to say, and hard for me to do, but I try.

Kim

thanks kim you make alot of sense, i myself find myself having to explain to people alot when hes off on one why hes doing these things and acting that way, but im just going to keep my head down in future and ignore the comments, be strong for my child, who althou he can be a handful is just gorgeous and a very loving boy at that. speak later!!x

Hope things are improving for you Lisa. x

thankyou all!!!.. this site is wonderful and i get alot of comfort from it at times when im low, you all are a great bunch on here!:)