I have had ADHD now for years! I am 32yrs old, was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 12. I am a very athletic person. I have been in athletics ever since I was 5yrs old. I was looked at in the 7th grade by colleges for football and 8th grade by colleges for baseball. I got to 9th grade and stopped growing, so I quite football as I was too small to play anymore. I gave up baseball when I didn't get along with the coach very well, so I turned to golf. I have been playing golf since I was about 7yrs old! I played in many junior tournaments where I played pretty decent and placed within the top 3 in many of them. I was offered a scholarship to college, but turned it down as I knew I would never make it living on my own and traveling with the team. I went into the golf business as a golf instructor, but that was a tough business as the market is flooded with them. I have always wanted to play on a professional level as I have been told by many that I am good enough to, but my head just get's in the way everyday I am out there. I have quit golf so many times it isn't even funny as I get frustrated with it, but yet love it at the sametime. Since I moved out on my own at the age of 21, I have had I know 30+ jobs in many different atmospheres. Ranging from a golf instructor, to retail, to telecomm to accounting. I hated every single one of those. I have about 3yrs of college, but all has been just the core classes. I hated college and high school, so going back isn't even an option for me. I have been married for over 9yrs now, and my wife so so supportive of me. But I feel so guilty all the time because she is the bread winner in the house and I just work a part time accounting job because I get so bored if I work more then 4hrs a day. I am in such a bind because I hate working in an office job and I feel like there is nothing out there for me that even strikes my interest except golf, but it is so expensive and takes so much time to work on it, then comes the point that I struggle with my emotions so much out there that I get to a point of frustration and just walk off the course out of fear I might just loose control and start breaking my clubs. I could use some input here, because I am so bottomed out right now I have no idea where or what my life is even about. I have no real experience in any one job as I have had so many and none last more then a year at a time. I think the only thing that would truly make me happy would be to pursue golf, but there again I cannot deal with my emotions out there. Nothing even interests me as for a career! I have been to a couple of therapists/coaches, and they didn't seem to help at all. I am really lost here! Any advice or help would be great! One last point, all my golf teaching instructors tell me that I have the golf swing and game to play on a professional level, but I struggle with my self-esteem and don't believe my swing is truly that good. UGH, ADHD is such a frustrating disease most of the time. I tell my wife I almost wish I was blind or something, cause ADHD you can function normally, but your brain just gets in the way almost all times of the day......Thanks for reading this and listening to me!

Jeff

Wow, Jeff, even though I have never played golf (other than some mini-putt) I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have been struggling with writing in the same way you are struggling with golf... it is what attracts me, and drives me nuts at the same time... I always keep coming back to it, and seem to have the talent, but it's like there are mental blocks that prevent me from getting anywhere with it.

I too have worked dozens of stupid little jobs (retail, theatre production grunt, retail, data entry clerk, retail, radio dispatcher, retail, computer technician, retail, telemarketing, and for a little variety, more retail).

It is very frustrating, I know. I ALSO have a wife who has become the primary breadwinner in the house... I ALSO can't seem to keep any job that requires me to work more than maybe 3 shifts a week. (I'm surviving now by having TWO part time jobs... one as a security guard, and the other in... wait for it... retail. :D )

I won't lie to you. If I had a simple solution to this dilemma I wouldn't be here.

But this place, the people here, and the knowledge I pick up from being around here, give me hope for the future.

Stick around and see what you can find out. Your perspective will help all of us in return.

Welcome Jeff,
I really can understand how you feel, but don't know if I have a lot of great suggestions. I worked a ton of dead end jobs until I was about thirty and then moved just above the minimum qage level. I do not know if any of the therapist you went to specialized in ADD. If you could find one that did that might help. If you are good at teaching than maybe there is some athletic skill you can teach or coach. You could also volunteer as a coach. I know there are a lot of community organzations that need that sort of thing. Also has you begin to be able to help people that will increase your self esteem. I loved sports but was only an average athlete. I did become a better than average runner, but realized I was never going to be one of the very few who made it to the top. If you can find someone to help you find your lost dreams and make your ADHD work for you I think that will help. Sorry to have rambled. Glad you are a part of us.
Jim

Jeff, fully realize how very fortunate you are to have a spouse who is supportive. If you look around here, I think you will be struck by how many of us are not as fortunate in that respect.

I think it stinks, the pressure which is placed upon men to be the primary breadwinners. This is the 21st century, and people are not getting that successful (multiple definitions of success) families (multiple definitions of family) are made by team efforts.

I don't know what it is like to be so gifted. It seems to me that people such as yourself and waywardclam, and countless others I know of on this forum and elsewhere were not destined for such mundane things. I believe it is up to the rest of us to support you in whatever ways we can, be it financial or whatever. I like the old patronage system of the renaissance.

Anyway, welcome and duff on!


I like retail, Paul!:p, you don't have to sit down.

You will find LOTS of support and encouragement and perspectives here. We welcome you, and believe it or not, by sharing what you have, you have already helped so many people (and will help those to come) to realize they are not alone.

I understand that, bluntly, "office jobs" blow for us ADDers. I'm currently a legal secretary, but I have recently embarked upon earning my MS in Psychology, and I plan to counsel/assist ADDults some day. THAT is what I am drawn to. much like you're drawn to golf and WWC is drawn to writing.

My point (did ya think I even HAD one? LOL) is that it is especially crucial for ADDers to pursue a career in which they will be stimulated, challenged, and happy 90% of the time (gotta be real; every job has some form of cr@p attached to it). I encourage you to follow up with gymsocks's suggestion and build confidence by coaching. That's also a form of networking, ya know.... Never know who you'll run into who may be able to play a part in setting you up in your dream job.

Most importantly, I notice that you did not mention if you were taking meds (if you did mention it, of course my ADD and I totally missed it! LOL). I don't know your position on taking meds, but whatever it is, I respect it. I do want you to know that there are meds in addition to the well-known stims out there (AdderallXR, etc.) that can help with your emotional outbursts. You mentioned therapists/coaches...have you seen a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD? I'm certain through networking we at the Forums can locate one for you if you need it.

You have lots of people lined up ready to assist in any way they can, Jeff!

smooch

Originally posted by FlakeyGirl
I don't know what it is like to be so gifted. It seems to me that people such as yourself and waywardclam, and countless others I know of on this forum and elsewhere were not destined for such mundane things. I believe it is up to the rest of us to support you in whatever ways we can, be it financial or whatever. I like the old patronage system of the renaissance.


Okay, someone should have reported this post to me, because it is out of line and needs to be moderated. :D

FG, I can't BELIEVE you aren't gifted at something. Everybody is. Perhaps you haven't discovered it yet, or realized it yet, or don't consider it to be something that is worth calling a gift... but I don't believe you for a minute when you say that people like golfpro and I are a "different sort of people"...

On the other hand... if you can convince more people out there that they need to support us financially and otherwise... who am I to tell you I think you're wrong? :D :D :D

Hey, I think I am gifted, just not SO gifted in one area. I dabble. I'm a dabbler.:)