View Full Version : ADHD Jokes -for those of us who can laugh about it only please


Slowpoke
09-12-07, 05:10 AM
hey all

So, I have ADHD and I joke about it... my friends know they can joke about it. Recent thing to illustrate: we were just heading out the door to hang out when my eye caught a REALLY COOL LOOKING spider that had made a beautiful web. I went over to it to take a better look - to APPRECIATE IT - and my friend says Oh gawd, don't go ADHD on me eh? We gotta get going!
The irony is, he ended up coming over to check out the spider. HA!


Anyway

my reason for this thread is to share jokes about ADHD with others who are able to laugh about it.

I don't intend these jokes to be insulting, but most of the jokes are about things which we know are true... and yeah, I can only remember one at the moment.



So hear goes THE FIRST OFFICIAL ADHD JOKE:

Q: How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?


---------------

So the other day I was dialing my friend's phone number to call her while I was choosing a snack to eat. I ended up almost eating my cell phone and listening to the banana...and wondering why there was no dial tone.


true story, I had an awesome laugh over it. The stupid thing was, I hit "connect" on my cell and then lifted the banana to my ear...



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When I have a total brain fart and feel stupid around a good friend, I have been known to say: "OK, so this is where I'm going to choose to play my "ADHD card"
*with miming action: placing card out in front of me*

-this is actually quite effective, but only tested in low-priority situations

---------------

the BEST conversations I've ever had are with students with ADHD who I support as a Special Education Assistant... they end up being the one to realize that we went waaaaaaaaay off topic. Which I then turn around and say "Good job! You developed an awareness of being off task!" Sometimes they believe it was actually my plan all along...

----------------

..on a more serious note, I find that I can only joke with people who I know have some kind of understanding about how ADHD affects me/someone.
There have been people who ignorantly say in a demeaning manner that someone was totally being ADD... which annoys the snot out of me.

And again, I realize that I've posted 5 messages saying I have to get going b/c it's late and I need to sleep. 2 hours later, here I am still.

OK OK

so I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME.
hee hee.

It's important to be able to find a humourous side, but essential that we recognize that we have to put about 5.452 times more effort into everyday tasks than the average person.

Good night everyone!

uhurainmi
09-12-07, 06:01 AM
My friends and family don't come right out and say it, but I get the feeling they think I'm a hypochondriac. My new 'reason why I act this way, and THIS time I think I have it figured out', is A.D.D.

So I'm not getting as much support as 15-20 years ago when I decided I'd had enough and went to a doctor. He diagnosed chronic low-grade depression and anxiety. I have since then been:
adult child of alcoholic
spouse of verbal abuser/drinker
social anxiety
hypoglycemia(sugar drops suddenly)
kidnapped by aliens-just kidding!
and menopause.

So I have taxed their patience on the matter, but i see in that list a lot of what I read here. I think they all interact....except the alien part.

My funny story(only know the 'lightbulb' joke). I was at Ren faire working in a dress makers booth. A cute boy comes by, they always did because we had cute girls in the booth all day; he wants to know if we sell boning to put in bodices. They are made of metal or plastic and they make the corset stiff. I told him we don't use boning in our dresses. We talked for a bit about his project and as he walked away, I shouted after him, "have fun with your boning!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing, there was a moment of silence and then a outbusrt of laughter. As usual, I didn't get it. When I figured it out, I was embarrassed of course, but not in a bad way......that time. It has become one of a long list of stories to tell on a GNO (girls night out). Not all the stories were mine.

Johnnny
09-13-07, 09:37 PM
i used to work at this restuarant and everyone knew i had ADD-hyperactive, and we would always say things like:

Whats the matter with you boy? You too stupid? toooo stupid to pay attention

or

Whats the matter boy? you stupid? too stupid to stupid to focus?

and id always say something like

NO!!!

lol and we would all have a good laugh, id say these things to them too. But you have to have to be thick skinned i guess lol

Lol this one time too we got a new line cook. I went up to him and said DADADADUMBDADADUMBDA. And he was like "wtf", and my buddy came up and said you have to excuse my friend he has ADD, and i turn around and say in a deep voice, YEA!!!. We laughed we were idiots lol. And to be honest i dont consider ADD a disability

meadd823
09-14-07, 12:32 AM
My husband and I are both hyperactive how ever he prefers to live in denial. He will often ask why he keeps running around in circles but not getting as much done as he thinks he should, why he can't be still long enough to meditate or shut up long enough for me to, or why he has to have so many thought at once, why his brain won't shut up at night so he can sleep.

I always answer with the same thing

"Because you ain't got no ADD dear"

We have been together for four years now and I think he is getting it. He some times will ask me if having so many things to do at once he can't pick one activity and stick with it is an ADD sign"

Now all I have to do is give him that certain :D

mijahe
09-14-07, 03:07 AM
My wife was sent this in an email the other day. Trouble is, I don't have to wait to get old to have it. So it's not really funny, but truthful.



For those of you that don't get this, you will, your day is coming.

Do you have: A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish binunder the table, and notice that it is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - they need water.

I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control.

Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the front room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
- the car isn't washed
- the bills aren't paid
- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop
- the flowers don't have enough water
- there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book
- I can't find the remote control
- I can't find my glasses
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Ennio'sMom
09-14-07, 01:37 PM
Oh my God! The other day I was taking out the trash and I saw a crow on the roof of my garage just SCREAAMMMING at me, so I went back in the house and saw the pen I needed to write down that telephone number and, what was the question?

P.S. Maybe ADD means "Always Do-si-Doeing"

mijahe
09-14-07, 06:55 PM
A couple off the net.....

Two ADDers were sitting at the table of the local diner their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way: 'Take a clean dish...'"


How many ADDers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it took several light bulbs and several months to get it done because the ADDer.....


Paid for the lightbulb then left it in the shop on the counter.
Dropped another light bulb out of a hole in his/her shopping bag didn't notice and ran over it with a truck.
Bought the wrong sort of lightbulb because s/he couldn't be bothered checking which sort of light bulb was needed cause that's boring.
Left the light bulb under a pile of clothes for several weeks before s/he got around to trying to put it up.
Couldn't remember who s/he gave the ladder too so decided they had to go buy another.
Took the old light bulb down put it on the floor next to the new light bulb got distracted by an idea in his/her head.
Ran to get notebook to write idea down idea forgot about light bulb for an hour as other thoughts came to mind, remembered lightbulb couldn't figure out which was the old light bulb and which was the new light bulb.
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRG - Who invented such an inhuman thing as a light bulb?!

mirandatoritess
11-06-12, 12:19 AM
Two people with ADHD sit down at dinner and begin talking. One says how is the new cookbook I got you? The others says took much busy work. Every page begins with take out a clean plate....

sarahsweets
11-06-12, 04:52 AM
Hope this works

Fuzzy12
11-06-12, 06:12 AM
I've nicked this one from someone on ADDF:


I'm so broke, I can't pay attention.


:cool:

Spacemaster
11-06-12, 09:37 AM
My contribution, more to follow

1979

NATIVE762
11-06-12, 11:14 AM
I'm not A.D.H.D, I just.....Do you like waffles?

Simenora
11-06-12, 11:19 AM
"
Originally Posted by joke2
How many ADDers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it took several light bulbs and several months to get it done because the ADDer.....


Paid for the lightbulb then left it in the shop on the counter.
Dropped another light bulb out of a hole in his/her shopping bag didn't notice and ran over it with a truck.
Bought the wrong sort of lightbulb because s/he couldn't be bothered checking which sort of light bulb was needed cause that's boring.
Left the light bulb under a pile of clothes for several weeks before s/he got around to trying to put it up.
Couldn't remember who s/he gave the ladder too so decided they had to go buy another.
Took the old light bulb down put it on the floor next to the new light bulb got distracted by an idea in his/her head.
Ran to get notebook to write idea down idea forgot about light bulb for an hour as other thoughts came to mind, remembered lightbulb couldn't figure out which was the old light bulb and which was the new light bulb.
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRG - Who invented such an inhuman thing as a light bulb?!"



Lightbulb...? Im still trying to find the car keys.....

salleh
11-06-12, 01:42 PM
that "take a clean plate" had me laughing out loud ! ......

FogNoggin
11-06-12, 04:34 PM
I'm still psyching up to do the dishes, the sink is full, water, dish soap, the only thing missing is me, guess where I am?

Subtract81
11-06-12, 05:35 PM
why did the adhd man cross the road? your guess is as good as mine