Hi everyone, I just need a little bit of advice on something that has been troubling my wife and I over the past 3 weeks. Yesterday, my wife was approached by his 1st grade teacher in the playground. She had something urgent to speak to her about. She said that her and her associate grade 1 teacher have noticed some problems in our son. She said he exhibits the following symptoms.

1. Difficult focusing
2. Difficulty following directions.
3. Has weak motor skills
4. Has weak organizational skills

On the positive side she said he has high academic skills. He has basically taken initiative to read on his own and sits there looking at his star wars magazine sounding out words for me and my wife. He loves to read anything he can get his eyes on.

He is great at video games and absolutely loves star wars. He seems to have a photo graphic memory as well. Ever since I can remember he has had a ery excitable personality. When he gets really excited he flaps his hands. I have never said that it's a bad thing because I don't want him to feel he's doing something bad or wrong. However, it is inappropriate. When I talk to him about it, he says, it's a reaction to being excited and happy. Now i don't want to stiffle his happiness so I just leave it.

When my wife heard the news above from the 1st grade teacher she immediately got upset and went to visit our pediatrition. The pediatrtion got SO upset at the teachers comments. She just saw my son last week and talked with him and sat down with him. She said, there is NOTHING wrong with your son, it seems as though there may be a problem with the teacher not being able to cope with her situation. The teacher is teaching a grade 1/2 split so my son's listening skills and attention may be more overwhelming then usual. She says she gets tons of cases where teachers are making wierd comments about kids with attention issues. my son has been in school now for 2 weeks and has just come off of summer vacation. We are also moving and my son is aware of this. I think there is a lot going on in his little mind right now too.

All of yesterday was very upsetting for my wife and I and we just love our son like crazy. We don't know what if any thing that is wrong with our son, but the closest thing I can see that matches the behavior pattern and description is ADHD.

I feel as an adult I probably have quite a few symptoms of ADHD and seeing as there is a 57% chance of passing it on to your child, I am believing that he may have got it from me.

I am looking for some advice as to what steps to take. Should we just tell the school to cool it, or should we get my son tested? I am very confused.

Thanks for reading this.

Brad

Hi Brad,

First of all you've come to the right place. I have only been here a few weeks but everyone is so helpful. It's hard to know in first grade, everything is very new and there is a lot going on in his life. If it is classic ADD and it's pretty severe, I think you would notice it in other situations too, not just school. It's almost like we're 'wired' just that little bit differently.

Personally I guess it may help to give you peace of mind if you do the test... but wait until a few more people respond as I am not a parent myself.

Best of luck and well done for being brave and asking about it.

Hey Brad,

Wow. I definitly give kudos to this teacher for talking to your wife. It takes a lot to tell a parent that there's a problem and deal with the reaction. When I was in elementry, it was the other way around. My parents were trying to convince my teachers that I may exhibit symptoms of ADD (I wasn't diagnosed yet), but they were just saying "No, she's a very bright girl... she's just lazy". I was a lot like your son- loved to read, I could play my Super Nintendo with a lot of focus and skill, and I could not keep my cubby clean to save my life!

I would say to at least test your son soon. It's better to know early on in life if he is ADD or not. It sounds to me like he has a case of inattentive. As for the arm waving thing, he's in first grade, and that's what 5 or 6 year olds tend to do. If he does have ADD, you can get a 504 plan or an IEP sooner to fit your son's needs. If not, I'm sure you can talk to the teacher anyway about these problems.

Hope all goes well for you, your wife, and your son :)

Welcome to the forum! :)

You know, it could be nothing. The stress of going back to school, with the upcomming move could be all there is to this. One way to help figure that out is to look back and ask yourself, "Was he always like this, or is it new?" You never get sudden onset ADHD, it just works out that it's suddenly noticed.

The one thing that came accross that is wonderful is the love and support you have for your son. And even if he does havd ADHD, there's still nothing wrong with him, or you and your wife. (I played the self blame game for a bit, so I'm trying to help keep others from playing too)

Hi Brad,

Don't feel bad, I come from a family full of ADD and ADHD kids. I find now that I have passed it on to all three of my kids. All of them are attending school and all of them are having problems to one degree or another.
My oldest is repeating seventh grade for the second time and as of last year I found out that he can't even do basic math. Yesterday my son told me that he just can't focus in class and has a hard time understanding the material. It's now the midway point in the school year and he's failing two classes.
My daughter is smart as a whip. I'm constantly amazed at how fast she gets her school work done when I help her with it. Time and time again, I will leave her to get it done on her own and it will take her hours to complete it. She leaves it to primp in the mirror or play with her dolls or watch tv. It's gotten to the point that I've confined her to her room when she is doing her homework so that she can concentrate without distractions.
Just recently I've had to start going to school with my youngest son to help him stay focused in class. Everyday when I would pick my kids up from school his teacher would tell me that he was constantly disrupting class...tapping and kicking his desk, getting up out of his chair, talking to other kids or fidgeting. I started showing up at the last half of the school day when he was having the hardest time focusing to find that he hadn't completed any of his class work yet.
It's always hard to hear from a teacher that your child or children in my case, might have need of medication.
I've seen my kids on medication and without medication and without the comparison I would never have thought my kids might have ADHD. It's not the end of the world, just another obstacle to overcome and another chance to rise to the occassion.

She said that her and her associate grade 1 teacher have noticed some problems in our son.
...
On the positive side she said he has high academic skills.
This basically says it all. He has trouble achieving his full potential because he can't concentrate. This is the kind of report I had all through my school life. It looks very much like you have a son with ADD - but, get him checked out, then you can look at options to address the issue. Take your teacher's word for it - teachers will more generally under-estimate than over-estimate. So, it's a problem!



When he gets really excited he flaps his hands. I have never said that it's a bad thing because I don't want him to feel he's doing something bad or wrong. However, it is inappropriate. When I talk to him about it, he says, it's a reaction to being excited and happy. Now i don't want to stiffle his happiness so I just leave it.
I've seen this in many children, (at least 5 from memory), but it's something subtle every time. One of my friends at school would rub both fingers on his nose when he got excited - it was odd, but you got used to it. My nephew used to hold on to... er... his willy when he got excited. He wasn't doing anything more weird than the fellow who rubbed his nose - just a different place. :o It did subside. I think the more learned people on the forum may tell you exactly what it is, but it's not related to ADD.



When my wife heard the news above from the 1st grade teacher she immediately got upset and went to visit our pediatrition.
There's really nothing to get upset about. It's just like getting a pair of glasses, or needing to have your legs in splints. Out of all the available 'issues' humans can develop ADD is the least of your worries! :)


The pediatrtion got SO upset at the teachers comments. She just saw my son last week and talked with him and sat down with him. She said, there is NOTHING wrong with your son, it seems as though there may be a problem with the teacher not being able to cope with her situation.
As I mentioned further up, the only real way of knowing is to have him tested. It's an easy test, and at the end of it all, you'll be in a better position to know how to address his future. It also takes the "she said", "he said", "she said" out of the equation.

Hope this helps.