Garry
01-31-04, 10:58 PM
1. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
2. Life is sexually transmitted.
3. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
5. Give a person a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to
use the Internet, and they will not bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like Slinkies......not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather... It pays no
attention to criticism.
10. How come a slight tax increase cost you at least two hundred
dollars; and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents. This is
according to the "politicians".
11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the
world is wierd and people take prozac to make it normal.
12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come
to the realization that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. And
they take themselves seriously!!!
2. Life is sexually transmitted.
3. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
5. Give a person a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to
use the Internet, and they will not bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like Slinkies......not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather... It pays no
attention to criticism.
10. How come a slight tax increase cost you at least two hundred
dollars; and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents. This is
according to the "politicians".
11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the
world is wierd and people take prozac to make it normal.
12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come
to the realization that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. And
they take themselves seriously!!!