I'm having major problems atm. I want to be a more organized person, I want to live without chaos and clutter around me, I want to do my laundry, and put it all away, but I can't seem to do it. Logically I know what to do, and I can see that take off your clothes put them in the laundry hamper, when the hamper is full do the laundry makes total complete logical sense.(or to do other things in life in a certain way) But it is IMPOSSIBLE to do. I can tell you how to do it, I dont' know what happens to me when I try to complete it. I seem to loose all sense of everything, I can't even decide what move i'm to make next if something is thrown into the mix awry of my original plan.

I so obviously need a coach.

GadgetGirl, I've been struggling with this for 40 years, and I still don't have a solution. I get so frustrated having to do all the day to day stuff, when there's so many other cool/interesting things to do. I have a constant churn of ideas and things that I want to do all day long, and all the mundane stuff just gets left.. I annoy the heck out of my better half.

The only way is to have a coach, and also routine. Do the same organizational things every day. That helps a lot. If you have a routine in the mornings, and posted on your bathroom mirror so you don't forget - it really helps.

The trick is identifying the tasks which give us that sinking feeling - as we often just do them - without thinking.

And then coming up with a solution which is satisfying.

So - I love coffee - but can't be bothered making it - and so make 12 cup equivalents in the morning - and transfer them from a thermal flask -> exercise flask ... throughout the day.
None wasted, no need for multiple trips to the kitchen, correct strength, cheap, on tap everywhere one goes

NO need to queue - yay!

Similarly another heated flask for making the + water noodles -> edible

And another for cold drinks

-> 3 or 4 flasks and there's no need to ever worry about food or drink
and it scales - so wifey is covered too

That's one example - of a coupla'minute repetitive system which prevents an hour or two's worth of pointlessly wasted time during the day.

No choosing what to eat - finding a place to eat something -
no deciding whether you're hungry or not - choosing which flavour of coffee to try

None of the flasks ever need cleaning -
as they're sterilized at the start of each day when hot water is poured in

... and of course no additional washing is required to support this system - there're no additional cups, plates, utensils required to support this regime.

It's environmentally friendly - albeit witht the waste of a cardboard noodle container - though a flask would surrogate.

-*-

Clothes-wise - switching to newer 'technical' materials - like 'Rohan' - which I wash whilst I wash myself - and which're fast drying

... so ...

no ironing
no washing of clothes required

Newer technical clothing is being released now with pre-sewn electrical conduits -
and also heating 'elements' - kinda' like the Rohan 'powerhouse' -

(why do I heat the entire environment - when only myself or the others in the house need heating?)

... not to mention the wicked cool skins? or i-skins? (Batman's uniform) for optimized aerobic functionality, muscle flexibility, heat retention -
and sure easy to clean and always wearing exercise gear -
a telephone box alone
required to change uniforms.

... and need only one pair of shoes for all activities ('MBT' style).

-*-

All in all then - identify the problem - those which give you the deepest sense of doom - that's the place one should start.

~ps~

my only real repetitive systems are the flasks (above) - and the plugging in of my army of gadgets when I arrive home -

I love love love them.


However - the king of gadgets hasn't been released yet - it'd be like the Transformers - robots in disguise -
a large device which comes apart like Russian dolls for daily activity.

For instance
((((flash music player)within a hard drive music player) within a 5 inch or so screen)within a keyboard)within an 11 inch screen) -

A kinda' stepwise set of gadgets - which support one another bottom up - with batteries which match their functionality - and which can be chosen based on activity.

So - exercise requires a HDD to be absent -

- however walking permits access to HDD encoded music.

Why's anybody need a screen whilst running - when a wireless remote would be useful -

... however why'd anybody need a wireless remote (or even music) - seated on a train - attempting to read the newspaper.

So technical (both senses) clothes + flasks + and e-Russian doll device'd do it for me

and throw in a pocket bike / dynamo

:-)

and throw in a pocket bike / dynamo
and I'm away

yay!!!

-<-
(that's the near future btw)

~ps~

well here's one

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:cT6C9onu4KCZhM:http://www.armadillodesign.co.uk/img/news_bia_coach.jpg

... now - where are we going?

And do they sell silicone wafers there?

It's a *****, isn't it?

Once I got dx'd I knew changes had to be made. One thing Mr. KP and I did was spiff up the bedroom. Both of us got in there and cleaned, rearranged the bed, took down an ugly mirror (got a funkyfresh Mexican-crafted mirror instead). We got rid of the clunky old TV and mounted a 36" flatscreen on the wall. Bags of clutter got thrown away, bags of old clothing went to charity.

I had a vision in my head...I wanted my bedroom to look like it belonged in a beach cottage. We painted the walls a pale yellow, the ceiling pale green, and we installed a shadowy blue crown molding. Some fresh pictures, launder the drapes, new coverlet...whoohoo! Mission accomplished.

Luckily I have a partner who's willing to get in there and work.

Anyway, fast-forward to 6 months later-----> It's still looking okay. I need to get in there and do a deep cleaning. There's a couple piles of laundry and it needs vacuuming but after 6 months, I'm doing okay.

Like mijahe said, it's about routine. Easier said than done, I know. But once you get the routine down it's all about maintenance. That's not a sexy word but it's my touchstone. Once we overcame the mess it's been easy to maintain. What would've taken me a whole day previously will take me an hour (that's with changing the sheets). Same thing with my garden; it was previously overrun with weeds. With maintenance it's got a few weeds but the roses, zinneas, butterfly bushes, and heather are the focus. With a good rain to soak the ground it'll take me 15 minutes to pull weeds and another 15 to deadhead the flowers.

I hope you get to the maintenance stage soon.

Oh! One more thing. If you haven't please read the "Driven to Distraction" series (Hallowell and Ratey). Those books opened my eyes. One point they made is, ADDers will never be perfect. We won't have model clean homes or perfectly squared-away desks. Get "well-enough" organized for you. I know that what works for me probably drives my boss nuts. And hey, if it means a cleaning service to tackle the icky cleaning while you tame the laundry beast, so be it.

I feel the same way GadgetGirl. I'd like to change and improve, and I'll start on a routine, then get stalled. I was doing okay at not leaving dishes in and beside the sink - for about a week. I've been good about putting them in the dishwasher, but the other stuff has piled up again. I'm also keeping on top of bills and things, they might pile up a bit - three or four items - but I deal with them shortly if not immediately.

Sometimes I make it a competition with myself - how long before I break down and do the chore I've been avoiding? Oaky, so that's not an improvement, but when I do that, it's not bothering me and I'm laughing about it.

I could probably use a coach. And a routine. But the thought of a routine makes me feel trapped.

And then some days I think why even bother trying.

As I read this thread, all I can think is "welcome to my world". I always berated myself for being lazy, now I understand that it is something I have little control over. Now I am searching for that "coach" mijahe mentioned. I hope my SO is up for the task...

hey im the same, want to change but cant. im currently trying to stick to routines again the 5th time around..ive tried really simple one but i get dead bored and self-destruct, harder ones i start off real well then it gets too hard and i procrastinate or self-destruct. so im aiming for middle ground...
i could use a coach..i really want to do it myself tho i really reall really want to do it. I keep telling myself that I must succeed in life. When I was 15, i went for 4 months on a routine...they were the best months of my life. I aced school back then too, then I went to a friends house for a week and it broke the routine and everything went downhill from there. Im 18 now and still havent been in a routine thats lasted more than a week...

btw i found this really interesting website that shows way off coping.
check it out it might help.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_strategies.htm

I know where you're coming from. If I have just one thing to do, I'll put it off. If I have 10 things to do I'm going to move from one to the other in my head just dazed in which I should start first. Before you know it, it's the end of the day and I haven't done a thing.

But, if someone tells me "why don't you do such and such", it snaps me out of the confusion, and I do it really well. Sometimes it's enough to get me started and do everything else too. So, at home I have a "honey do" list. At work, I use all kinds of different methods and the methods change all the time... I'm disorganized in my methods of organization. Somehow I manage okay and things get done.

I have to say that the things that work best for me to get things done are a simple hand written list. For instance if my day off is Saturday, then in the morning I write a list of the things that I want to get accomplished. Sometimes I will have to write the list twice, because I will remember something that is more important later on. I try to prioritize my list by order of importance. However, let me say that I am vastly impressed with myself if I get more than half of my list done on any given day. Things that are last minute (making sure my car registration is payed, dropping off the forms for one of my kids programs, etc) always seem to remain last minute. I have no idea how to get the things that are not a priority yet (meaning, not last minute) to be forefront in my thinking. Perhaps meds will change that...yet I am doubtful. If I have a deadline to get something done, then it will be done by the deadline, rarely any sooner.

Anyhow, I feel your pain....

I want to be a more organized person, I want to live without chaos and clutter around me, I want to do my laundry, and put it all away, but I can't seem to do it. Logically I know what to do, and I can see that take off your clothes put them in the laundry hamper, when the hamper is full do the laundry makes total complete logical sense.(or to do other things in life in a certain way) But it is IMPOSSIBLE to do. I can tell you how to do it, I dont' know what happens to me when I try to complete it. I seem to loose all sense of everything, I can't even decide what move i'm to make next if something is thrown into the mix awry of my original plan.

I so obviously need a coach.


Although you give several examples of what you want, I am wondering is why. It may sound like a stupid question but it can be an important clue as to the why you haven't been able to. Yes we have ADD but it isn't the end all and be all of who we are. Plus ADD doesn't equal not being able to make a FEW changes.

Perhaps you are trying to change too much at once. You appear to be wanting to go from severely scattered to ultra organized in one swoop. Honestly that probably isn't going to happen. Trying to change too much at one time normally results in feeling like a failure and resignation of all formal attempts.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can with some effort change one area of my life. It wasn't long ago I did all my business paper work on the last day of the month. To get every one paid and taken care of it needed to be done by the first of every month. When there was an error it made tracking it down very difficult because some times three weeks worth of transactions had to be reviewed. It always caused fights between Gary and I. Sooooo I decided this was a major PIA so I decided it needed to be tracked daily and the records completed weekly.

I have missed a day here and there but I have yet to get over three days behind. When the first of the month comes around the most I ever have to do it one week = the last week of the month. Once or twice it has been Sunday night and I have been getting the previous week together but it is now "do-able" in an hour because the most I ever have to review if the numbers do not balance is the previous five working days.

The success and ease of doing my business paper work has motivated me to continue using the system. When I feel like blowing it off all I have to do is remember what happens when I wait until the last day of the month to get it all done. My change was successful for the following reasons

#1 I made the change because I wanted to for myself. I did not do it becuase it made Gary unhappy. Although he wasn't pleased he still would rather fight with me once a month than to do the paper work himself.

#2 I reaped the rewards which are enough to maintain motivation to continue

#3 It was the only part of my life I was modifying at that time. This inabled me to focus on just that one area until it became automatic.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fact is we often try to change not because we are uncomfortable but because we feel like we should A) Be like every one else {WHY?} or B) Live up to some one else's expectations {again WHY?}

I find a combo of the above suggestions normally does the trick.

I have some routines, especially in the morning or before leaving the house-my morning routine prevents me from walking around without eye correction, combed hair or teeth. . . . :D with the departing from residence routine I manage to make it to the store 9.9 times out of 10 with some form of monetary ability to pay for my purchases.

Other areas I have done exactly what SB suggest = cramming as many things into one activity as possible thus avoiding too many redundant activities. Instead of spreading laundry out through out the week I do most of it in a single day. When I had children they were doing their own laundry by age eight.

Other thing I have learned is to accept some things about myself = I will never be Betty Crocker or June Clever, I am closer to Gomer Pile.

Other things are delegated or managed according to our personal abilities = spouse does grocery shopping I chop wood.

Coaches maybe helpful if one has the financial ability to pay for such a service in that case feel free to check out the link in this post (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=475218&postcount=4). It includes listing for professional coaches. This area (http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=138) of the forums gives more details as to how to find a coach and what to expect from a coach.


Hope this helps.

Well, why do I want to change,

1. Because I'm 30. I somehow well mixed amongst trauma, and health issues, managed to procrastinate away my 20's. I'm afraid I'm gonna do the same with my 30's and if I don't do something now I'll be 80 and say "shoot I guess I forgot to live my life" and realize without organizing even the most minute details this will happen.

2. Because I'm tired of it, and Tired of the fight. I for once would like to decide to do something and not have to search to find all the things to do what I want to. For example, If I want to make pasta from scratch, it only makes sense for all the pasta machines peices to be in one place, not a few peices in this drawer, and a few in a random box, and the rest in the cupboard. Great example, I got a tshirt - fitted white long sleeves for my birthday 4 years ago, wore it once and then couldnt' find it FOREVER. This week while packing to move, i found the tshirt in a box of random stuff that I didn't want to deal with that I obviously packed up and put on a shelf in my storage area. This was mostly stuff that could have been trashed. In that box for who knows what reason was my white tshirt. Never been so happy to find a peice of clothing.

3. Because I'd like to have people over at a whim. I'm tired of doing the mass panic clean up before people can come over.

4. Because I'm (i'm trying to be humble here) really good at alot of things, and it drives me crazy, that I can do amazing things like make a wedding cake when I've never made one before, and it turns out wonderful, or figure out how to use photoshop on my own, yet, I can't grasp how to wash a floor and have it looking cleaner then when I started. Why can't i accomplish basic everyday things?

5. Because one day I'd love to have kids, how can i expect to be organized enough to feed someone else if I can't even remember to feed myself?



I've tried lists, making this huge cleaning chart, which only got used for one week.
Reminders on my palm pilot, flylady, and I just can't keep on task.

Heck I want to go back to school and I keep procrastinating that away too....
Whine whine whine I know. And getting a coach is stopping me because I really can't afford it, I can't afford the drugs that my dr thinks will be the most successful for me either. Damned life is too expensive.

Other thing I have learned is to accept some things about myself = I will never be Betty Crocker or June Clever, I am closer to Gomer Pile. *LOL* Yep. Know the feeling.


Why can't i accomplish basic everyday things?Because they're boring? Really. I can nearly always find something better to do than housework. Watching the cat play with a bag, for example.

There's also the peer coaching buddies forum (http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=268) here. Don't know how, but I became a member of the group. I haven't pursued it because it means "reporting" to someone what I didn't accomplish. :eyebrow: Also, I haven't clearly defined what I want to change and why.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doiing just fine as I am, and sometimes I feel like I've just drifted through life without any goals or anything. Thinking about it would mean facing the things that bother me about myself, and that can be uncomfortable. So I guess I really don't know what I want.

I've tried lists too, and it doesn't always work. If there's something on the list that I really don't want to do, I don't do it. And I can be looking right at a list and not see something that needs to be done. I find I do well when I have a few things to do, and I'll jump back and forth between them, but they have to come from someone else, or involve a deadline. If it's just for me, it can be put off indefinitely.

So far, on this forum I've been commiserating with everyone and rejoicing about how not alone I am. :D I'll have to work up to any big changes.

I'll be 80 and say "shoot I guess I forgot to live my life" and realize without organizing even the most minute details this will happen.


Hmmm – reminds me of the saying ya don’t need a bazooka to hunt quail. In other wards having one goal and reaching that will be worth more in the long run than having a zillion goals to get lost in. Some planning is necessary to much planning is a waste of time.

When planning knowing my destination is of major importance otherwise I will not be very effective and I will waste my life planning my life instead of actually living it. So define “living” your life

btw – we do live our lives every day of our lives so forgetting to live is pretty close to impossible More often than not we forget to enjoy our lives and fail to appreciate the people with whom we share it . Time and people are the only things that can not ever be replaced.

Finding a balance is NOT an ADD natural ability Some times just making the attmept is "close enough" to get us on by.




If I want to make pasta from scratch, it only makes sense for all the pasta machines peices to be in one place,

This is a reasonable place to begin = put off of your pasta stuff with the pasta machine. Okay one goal reached then begin the next one.




This was mostly stuff that could have been trashed

Then trash most of the stuff – second goal reached


This is how life goes – you change ONE thing at a time. Then move on to the next thing but if you want to live life then you have to know exactly what that means for you?

Not having to fight a bunch of clutter – declutter but declutter one box one place within reasons. Success breeds the desire to experience more success. Feeling successful is also a reason to have enough faith in yourself to take another step. The feeling of failure makes me want to take a nap and not even bother trying.

NTers do not suddenly wake up organized it is some thing they work on daily one activity at a time . . .it can be boring and monotonous which is why we often suck at it because we can not simply “will” our selves to do some thing we really do not want to do. This was one of the things I was trying to show you in my example of changing my business paper work system. I had to make a specific activity that I find boring as watching grass grow some thing I “wanted” to take care of daily.





Because I'd like to have people over at a whim. I'm tired of doing the mass panic clean up before people can come over.

Adrenaline does increase many ADDers ability to focus it is the only way my hubby gets any thing done. Used to be my way but it isn’t any more.





I can't grasp how to wash a floor and have it looking cleaner then when I started. Why can't i accomplish basic everyday things

Doing things you have never done like cakes and photo shop exciting! Doing the floor boring.




Because one day I'd love to have kids, how can i expect to be organized enough to feed someone else if I can't even remember to feed myself?

Kids were born knowing how to scream when they are hungry – there is good reason for this.




I can't afford the drugs that my dr thinks will be the most successful for me either. Damned life is too expensive.


Man I thought you guys had a public health care system up there.

I agree life is too darn expensive.

I don't struggle with it anymore.

Make sure the REALLY important stuff gets done and make sure you live in a relatively clean home (I mean, no mold or other health threatening issues due to the chaos) and forget about being something you're not--an "organized person".

Examples: I make sure the things I need for work are clean and ready like clothes for the office. I make sure my kids eat well and get lots of love. I make sure the nasty stuff gets cleaned up so it doesn't turn into something that will make us all sick or dead.

Sure, I look around my house once in a while and think it would be nice if the stuff on the coffee table wasn't flow into the stuff on the floor that's connected to the stuff in the kitchen. I don't beat myself up for it...because it's just small stuff. The fact that we live in chaos has minimal impact on our family. Mostly, the kids can't have their friends over(inside the house) unless we clean it up. We do that once in a while and sometimes their friends end up in here anyway playing Halo 2 amid the chaos.

Instead of cleaning up I pick up a controller and play Halo with them.

Bottom line is: take care of what is absolutely necessary and DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!

GadgetGirl,
SB has the right idea - minimize the amount of time you spend doing the boring tasks. Combine the tasks down.
If you also have a routine, you can get a lot done. For example: I now have a morning coffee routine. I'll go out to the kitchen and make a coffee for me and my wife. This has several benefits; 1. I get to spend some time waking up and thinking about what I have to do for the day, 2. I get my morning coffee, 3. My wifey gets hers - and feels a bit more appreciative that I've done something little for her.

FB also has a point - don't worry about the things that you can't change easily. Our house is a mess. With 4 kids as well, (and me and my son with ADD) - a lot doesn't ever get done. My wife, occasionally, lets loose with some well justified anger about how we all make a mess, but on the whole we've learned to just live with it. It's a 'creative' house, a house that you'd want to just kick your feet up for a couple of hours and relax; just as you were passing by.

As for simple things - yes it's a hassle. I had to write a report for work a couple of months back. It was the most bloody awful thing I could imagine doing, but it was also the simplest. I procrastinated for 2 months. The boss wasn't particularly pleased with all this. So, I sat down one night to do it. I was literally in tears - fighting my ADD instincts to just run away. It took me an hour just to start. But once I got going and past that massive mountain, it seemed to be a downhill run, and the rest was a breeze and I finished it all in half an hour.
Sometimes, I think that if we can only just get to the top of the mountain, we'd all see a clear view, and the fantastic downhill run to completion.

Also, when you do complete something - congratulate yourself. Go to town. It's often that we criticize ourselves, but never congratulate. We get enough negative responses from people around us. Give yourself some positive responses. Start thinking about the glass half full, rather than half empty.

Hey Gadget girl,

I think you have gotten some great advice from the people here. I have a question for you (and pardon me if you have discussed this in another thread that I have not read), have you been diagnosed with ADHD? Are you getting any treatment if you have been? I understand your feelings, but just wondered if getting treatment was one of the other things you are procrastinating on (I am slowly prodding myself to get treatment)?

Best of luck,

At Heart

Why can't i accomplish basic everyday things?

You're just like we are -
&
the simple answer is
- because they're boring.

*really*
- please take this response seriously - it's not as glib a response as it might appear.
The answer to 'what is boring?' need be uncovered
as must the urge to overcome the ghosts of our youth - where we were taught that boredom equated to laziness.

Boredom at intellectual maturity is a very real and very important state of mind - and is not the sign of laziness ... ...

Do not feel bad about it - you are opening your eyes to the Borg-like state which describes individuals who do pointlessly repetitive tasks
- over and over and
over some more
- starting from when they were young and the protocol was posted through their letter box
(-aka- robotic nurture)

- the borg-like state represents extreme nonADD :-)
and can be seen
(most visibly)
- in the group of individuals who have been taught to follow orders without question.
Sadly - although following orders without question - appears to point to a particular type of employment
- that state of mind pervades others
... and although I only saw the first series of 'Lost' - perhaps the antagonism between free-thinker and philosopher John Locke - and the other guy who seemed to be blessed with God-like certainty in self
- helps to identify another employment sector in which there can (not will - merely can) be a tendency to 'believe the hype' which is sold by their profession
- or rather the Hyp-ocrates oath - which inadvertently appears to have handed over morality into the hands of
(surprise surprise)
the very! (to follow orders without questioning ... (from above)) individuals who should not be trusted with so important a facility.

Morality requires that doubt be entertained.
Doubt is not consistent with those current practices.

- so - (ooops!)
- just noticed that I've replied with the same 'boring' message as Tammy (ooopsy again!)
:-)
need to reiterate - though that
- *really* question whether it's necessary - and if not dump it.

I don't lose clothes - because I've three or four identical copies (for instance) of everything - and they're all either black or white.
So - I don't care when they're dirty or ripped - have a German shepherd bite mark in my sleeve as I type -
couldn't care less - no affiliation to clothes.

-*-

Through participation on the forum - and realising that the mind is everything - have gradually lost the need to do certain things - perhaps a peculiar example is cooking -
I read - imagine - note peculiar combinations - imagine ... and then move on - don't actually make any dish -
it's all in the mind
(that's everything)
after all
(at least for us)
- and we're not driven by (taste,smell) - unlike our rodent brethren
- we're defined by mind and capacity to apply ever more abstract thought to a problem.

:-)

The trick then becomes to see through the game.

And you'll soon settle back into the notion - that (truly) -
that any who'd make a comment on your lack of capacity at pointlessly repetitive task - are the disordered ones -

and that their logical models are about to be erased.

Man I thought you guys had a public health care system up there.
We do, but it doesn't cover everything, and what is covered varies from province to province. Most employers have group insurance plans for additional coverage, and they also vary. In Alberta, prescription drugs are not covered, but my husband's plan through work pays 80%. There's no way I'd be able to afford it otherwise. However, there have been times my dr has prescribed new meds, and they aren't covered at all. I have now found out what drugs are covered so I won't have that problem again.

There's a lot of good advice here, and a lot of suggestions that can work. The trick is finding a way that is right for you. Try one method for a while, if it doesn't work, try another. GG, I'm saying this for myself as much as for you, because I would like to be more motivated. When you look at everything that you think is "wrong" with your life, it's overwhelming, so changing one thing at a time is good.

And not worrying about it so much, as FB says. I know people who fret over their housekeeping, they dont want people to come over because their place is a mess, and I'm not comfortable around them. I say it's got to be better than mine. The best I can say is, there's no vermin. I also feel much more comfortable with people whose houses are lived in, rather than a house where it looks like nobody does anything fun. My artsy friends love my hobby room, when it's in full disarray. I'll make more of an effort for people on their first visit, after that, they get what they get.

True, it makes sense to have all the parts for something in the same place. I try to do that, and I'm always rearranging things in a way that makes sense to me. Trouble is, if it's a long time before I need a certain item, what made sense then means nothing now, and I have no idea where it is. I also spend a lot of time looking for things I "just had in my hand a minute ago". That's one of my biggest frustrations. Of course, now that I'm "middle-aged", it's easier to make allowances for that kind of thing.

When you do have kids, what will they remember most - living in a pristine house with a mom who's always nagging them to clean up, or a mom who spends time with them having fun? My mother was probably ADD (not diagnosed) and she was always worrying about how clean the house was, or wasn't. I always thought it was my fault it was a mess. Whenever I had a day off school, she would start out saying "what I'm going to get you to do today..." and it would be some chore. I can't remember a single time she suggested doing something fun with me, and I would have preferred that to always having chores to do and doing them wrong.

I also spend a lot of time looking for things I "just had in my hand a minute ago". That's one of my biggest frustrations. Of course, now that I'm "middle-aged", it's easier to make allowances for that kind of thing.
LOL, don't we all. I do a lot of carpentry and building - I like to use my hands. I can regularly be seen walking back and forth between my toolshed and whatever I'm working on either;
1) Having forgotten something and going to fetch it.
2) Having forgotten what I'm getting and walking back to find out what it is.
3) Standing in the toolshed wondering what I'm doing there.
4) Standing at what I'm working on trying to remember what I was doing.
5) Repeatedly saying a number over and over in my head to remember it, (some measurement).
6) Going back, because I'd forgotten what it was.
7) Going back to fetch some more wood, 'cause I'd cut the wrong size.

I also never remember all the bits I need to work on a specific job. Never. I'm always going back and forth getting them all, half starting going back, etc, etc.

So, I guess what I'm saying is. Acceptance. Accept who you are - take enjoyment in that fact. You can change some things. Work on those. Drop those things you can't change. Work on some routines, figure out a way of making them 'fun', (or combine to reduce the time - SB). Take on a coaching buddy here at ADDF. Don't wrorry about how much time you waste. I waste a HUGE amount of time - and I used to get very very frustrated with it). But, life is for living. Don't be someone you're not.

I do a lot of carpentry and building

me 2


1) Having forgotten something and going to fetch it.
2) Having forgotten what I'm getting and walking back to find out what it is.
3) Standing in the toolshed wondering what I'm doing there.
4) Standing at what I'm working on trying to remember what I was doing.
5) Repeatedly saying a number over and over in my head to remember it, (some measurement).
6) Going back, because I'd forgotten what it was.
7) Going back to fetch some more wood, 'cause I'd cut the wrong size.


me 1 to 7.

?How? about - knowing the correct way - not following that route - taking a short cut which doesn't work - repeating - and taking 3 times as long - because the proper way was a bit

ermmm...

dull.

Sheepishly looking around.

Working out a system - so that the dull proper way isn't so boring - feeling that you've that problem cracked - and that should you need to perform that practice again - that it'll subsequently be completed perfectly and quickly -

- whilst knowing that you'll never repeat the practice again - even if you need to - because you've the perfect solution to that problem -
and the end physical product of the diy project is a distant secondary to proving yourself capable of performing that task.

Once again mj -
not only in diy projects
but also more generally in the ADD mindset

erm...

'nailed'

:-)

Me 2!
Excellent! So, both? What've you made? Or just dabbling? There's nothing so relaxing than a very used workshop, in a quiet garden, just tinkering away at something, not having the 'pressure' of having to complete something... The smell of oregan, blackbutt, cyprus, cedar, pine wood shavings, with oil and varnish undertones. Damn, that I can't post smells here.....



and the end physical product of the diy project is a distant secondary to proving yourself capable of performing that task.
Yes, this is one of my biggest drives. I'll do anything and everything - 'cause I want to be able to do it - to say 'I did it'. The end result is secondary. However, sometimes the end result is a good 'ol pat on the back, and I make sure that when I actually complete something I admire my work. Cause it doesn't happen often.

hey -

you just did
- and HF has *it* nailed -
the new markup language

SML

(I smell -> II smile)

first ontology which is censored based on ewwww!-ess

~ps~
wood

my brick work is all theoretical about working new ways out to do things -
have a real problem with submerged electrics and piping -
or any notion of laying pipes as being a skilled task -
when I learnt to connect blocks when I was

ermmm...
2 or 3 years old.

... kinda' like a device which one puts bricks into which one smoothes cement over the top - allowing a uniform - adjustable (dependent on adjustment) - film of cement to be applied to the surface of the brick.

:-) noticed somebody was selling it recently -
combine it with a laser pointer - and

ooo!
straight walls - whilst delivering a presentation on the unbearable pointlessness of many to most (to ?all?) 9-5(pm) endeavours.
- at least without any understanding that we're here to free and not imprison ourselves
so - not to accept the pacifying notion that
'at least it keeps people in jobs'

- or retractable devices attached to solar detectors - with built in solar panels

... or ...

oh man!
- better stop there -

... wind detecting canopy power generators which allow us to build outside using power which we've generated when it's pouring with rain.

building in the great outdoors without worries of the weather nor power source
(noticed that solar powered generators are coming to the market for the man's spiritual home

(the shed)

oh man!
- better stop there -
man!
just plain upped and slipped out.

find wood is easier to work with
- currently a minimum space - fold down parallel bar-dip and pull-up bar - have recently bought some ankle supports so can suspend myself upside down
- trees with their accursedly variable thickness branches can't support my fixed width brackets - and so am building a wooden surrogate - which is portable ...

ooo - used to love metal work - just more complex
and
of course electronickery.

... and also a fold down wooden collapsible toilet for sb #1-3 and their frequent need to worship at the feet of #1-through-2 (incidentally more generically human activity than sb#1,2.1->3-restricted)

:-)

LOL, don't we all. I do a lot of carpentry and building - I like to use my hands. I can regularly be seen walking back and forth between my toolshed and whatever I'm working on either;
1) Having forgotten something and going to fetch it.
2) Having forgotten what I'm getting and walking back to find out what it is.
3) Standing in the toolshed wondering what I'm doing there.
4) Standing at what I'm working on trying to remember what I was doing.
5) Repeatedly saying a number over and over in my head to remember it, (some measurement).
6) Going back, because I'd forgotten what it was.
7) Going back to fetch some more wood, 'cause I'd cut the wrong size.

Hey that is my physical fitness plan = forgetfulness :D .

Probably why I have actually gained a few pounds on Adderall. I forget fewer things make fewer trips lose less weight. :o

hey -

you just did
You can smell it, eh?! Great isn't it. The great temporal domain - the toolshed. Where wonders unbeknownst never propagate. Yet, the flood of ideas never stemmed. If it wasn't for hunger/sleep, (or the demands of family) - I'd spend several days just tinkering with 'things'. (Mind you I use 'demands' in a non-derogatory sense - I'd say the same things about my family - if it wasn't for hunger/sleep I'd spend days with them.)

So, where were we? ......

1) Having forgotten something and going to fetch it.
2) Having forgotten what I'm getting and walking back to find out what it is.
3) Standing in the toolshed wondering what I'm doing there.
4) Standing at what I'm working on trying to remember what I was doing.
5) Repeatedly saying a number over and over in my head to remember it, (some measurement).
6) Going back, because I'd forgotten what it was.
7) Going back to fetch some more wood, 'cause I'd cut the wrong size.
I do the same with artwork, so instead of 'toolshed' it's whatever room I think what I need might be in. haven't quite got the concept of 'measure twice, cut once' either. I can measure 20 times and still get it wrong. I also like to 'experiment', so I end up with a lot of pages covered with paint and no idea what to do with them.

Strangely, I've been unusually efficient the last couple of days. This morning, I got up, made tea, unloaded the dishwasher - less than a full day after running it! - and put in the few dishes that were used. Then I sorted laundry and there's a load in the machine now. This may not go on for long, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Acceptance! And we gotta laugh at ourselves too!.

Strangely, I've been unusually efficient the last couple of days. This morning, I got up, made tea, unloaded the dishwasher - less than a full day after running it! - and put in the few dishes that were used. Then I sorted laundry and there's a load in the machine now. This may not go on for long, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
It's funny how it happens - it just all clicks. Things just get done. I wonder if we sometimes have our frontal lobes activited for short lengths of time? That gives us this 'normality' from time to time.



Acceptance! And we gotta laugh at ourselves too!.Yes, too true!

im kind of new here but here is my two cents. When I was younger I fought the ADHD and tried to be "normal." I got depressed and was bored. 2 years ago I decided to just be me. I stopped my boring job and followed my passion of travelling. My goal is to travel the world.
Find your passion and follow it. Everything should fall into place. We are ADHD there will be hiccups on the way. That is just part of the fun.
Embrace life. Embrace ADHD.

im kind of new
we're all kinda' new at ~it~

Embrace life.
- that understanding
... that's ~it~

im kind of new
Doesn't mean that you've any to learn though

Embrace life.
~as~
The end-effect of ADHD (the most important message).


(no such thing as normal life
just life
so -hey-
~live~)


im kind of new
as are we all - to the understanding that
fun is so much more than vacuous
- and that boredom need not be entertained.

@ADDer
'Big kids and lazy, eh?'
@nonADDer
'How about you're ...
both pointless and lost ???'
(like a compass which has been sat on by an elephant).

The usual feelings of guilt which we ADDers have - are consequences of our differences.

Nobody ever suggested that we should live out life in a kinda' Hell on Earth (or purgatory)
:-)
hmmm... ... ...
Evolution cares only about what will transpire to be the counterpart to fun (for the ADDer).

Embrace life.
~as~
Find(ing) your passion and follow(ing) it

-*-

When others shoot question marks at your new stance - well -
have a stopwatch kinda' arbitrarily set to the number of hours and minutes between your current age and
I dunno'
80 years old -

and then give them the watch to hold and examine
as it counts down.

A minute later - after shifting the emphasis of the ?question marks?
- point out that your time is running out ... take the watch from them - and continue on in whichever fun pursuit has you in the moment.

-*-

They'll change ...

... after all
a pension, slippers, grey walls and slowly diminishing oxygen level - sounds mighty like death in life within coffin
- in a 70 or 80 year progression towards security of tenure

(hey! you'll even own the land

in perpetuity)

6

feet

under.

-*-

in perpetuity

-*-

no ... ... ...

*Not*



'bonus !!! '

Man -
staring at SuperBart - directly above your first response - which begins
'GadgetGirl'

'Batman and Batgirl' for the nonties
:-)

... mind you ...

Super powers in Mj (p<0.05)
since
Join Date: Apr 2007
and
Posts: 4,600 !

is that e-v-e-n possible?

where's c~f?
:-)

... surefire signs of avatars referencing super powers


bitten by a spider?

or biting

Location: a vegemite sandwich...

:-)

in Metropolis.

Super powers in Mj (p<0.05)
since
Join Date: Apr 2007
and
Posts: 4,600 !

is that e-v-e-n possible?

where's c~f?
:-)
LMAO, yes I seem to be a fervent poster. With Super-Bart powers of course. :)

Of course, if we tally up the number of lines per posts, then you would outstrip even C~F. :D



Location: a vegemite sandwich...
Well, a vegemite sandwich is home, innit!

Man I thought you guys had a public health care system up there.

I agree life is too darn expensive.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I currently left my brain somewhere in a box packing or maybe i threw it out in the trash yesterday, otherwise when i Track it down I'll actually reply properly.

We do have a public health care system, though only certain drugs are covered, not all of them, I've tried both generic ritalin and dexedrine (though concidering talking to my gp about Non-generic ritalin) The rest of the "newer" drugs aren't covered, and are under some process of seeing if they will be covered. its frustrating to say the least. I'm thinking about maybe ponying up the money and trying it for a month. Maybe the change would be worth the money?

I currently left my brain somewhere in a box packing

Man I know the feeling. I hate moving even if the move is some thing I want. . .just all the stuff that goes with moving is uggggg - no worries your response is fine.

I did not understand how your health care system worked in Canada - thanks for expounding = it sounds confusing.

So Im working on it, i think apartment life is forcing me to be cleaner, nothing worse then walking into your little box to the stench of filth, however getting my partner to take the garbage to the bin seems to be a task in itself!

Thanks for your support everyone I'm currently looking for a coach concidering some new emdr technique for ADD/adhd because I can get it for free.

Thanks for your support everyone I'm currently looking for a coach concidering some new emdr technique for ADD/adhd because I can get it for free.
That's great Gadget! Sometimes, it's just one foot after another. You'll get there!

I don't really have any advice....I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in how you are feeling. I can't tell you how many times I've wished for a time machine so that I could go back and redo certain parts of my life so that I could look back and say I did something constructive with my time. Alas, no time machine!:(

Good luck on your search for a coach!

~M