I'm sorry if I stop making sense at any point - my adhd med is wearing off and thoughts are racing once again...

So! Instead of reading up on the 10 basic signs of bipolar over and over again through websites....
I'd like to get some real human opinions =) Thank you in advance for any you may have...

To begin!

Depression:
The uncertanty of when it will appear or what will trigger it has always a mystery.
My ADHD masked my depression from other people for years...
It was assumed to be my own laziness, lack of motivation, slobish habbits, irritation, and unstable emotions.
But I always felt it, ripping at me internally - even if they didnt notice.
Now that I'm using ADHD medicine (Focalin) my ADHD isn't around to hide the depression.
(Crying multiple times throughout the day, feeling exhausted but not physically, illogical hate towards myself, etc.)

Opposite of Depression (Hypomania?):
This is very difficult to describe to someone who has never experianced it.
I feel as though I love everyone and everything - all thoughts to the contrary don't exist.
Feeling as though anything is possible I want to do everything and experience all of them at once.
I could explain the feeling as complete unquestioning love and understanding for everything (And I do mean everything...).

Depression with Hypomania?:
These are the worst...
I'll be lying on the floor saying, "Bored, Bored, Bored"
Thinking of all the things I want to do but at the same time feeling incapable of every single one.
It's very difficult to explain desire coexisting with distaste... but that's a fair description.


I do tend to have irritability that will last for months and then disappear just as mysteriously as it came...
Considering it now... this usually comes before the depression hits... Hypomania episode possibly??

All anti-depressants do for me is take away my irritability when it's present. The one I'm prescribed (Lexapro) isn't supposed to have noticable effects for at least a week... but within the first day I noticed the absense of irritability. I hate how they steal my personality - I feel so sedated on them... and thus I refuse to use them! My passion for art comes out through ADHD meds but is taken away with anti-depressants - they just aren't for me.

::Babbling Terminated!::

It's a good possibility. How often does the depression come? There are quite a few studies that say there is a high level (about 20% I believe) of co-morbidity ADHD/BiPolar. If you don't like how the Lexapro makes you feel I strongly suggest you tell the doc and work something else out.

No need to apologize we are all wading through the muck here and it is a lot. I posted this link previously, but i helped me a lot. Even though he is talking about kids, I found the similarities chilling

http://www.adhdnews.com/bipolar.htm

It may be Bipolar II or cyclothimia the best thing is to get it treated as soon as you can because after awhile of not having it treated, if it is bipolar it can escalate into bipolar I disorder and that is no fun to deal with, the highs are higher and the lows are nastier

It does sound very familiar to me. My DX is BPII. Naturally, only a doctor can diagnose bipolar.

One thing that really struck my eye was your contention that creativity is connected to stimulants. Stimulants are known to aggravate hypomania, and this is when a bipolar believes they are most creative. BELIEVES ;)...typically, this belief goes right along with the idea that "life is peachy", at least it was for me and several other people I know here. What we believe about it now, post-medications, is that medications don't destroy creativity, they just slow down the productivity caused by the pressure of hypomania.

I have come to the conclusion that it is preferable to make a few great pieces rather than 20 not-my-best pieces.

I agree with crazy feet. I have almost similar symptoms to the ones you are describing as well.

Hang in there and be vocal with your Phychiarist. The only way he will know that you are suffering or won't take a medication is when you tell him/her. I am sure the p doc would much rather give you a drug and know that you will take it.

:)

Sounds like it to me as well. I would keep a journal...which it sounds like you might....if not...keep one from today until you get into to the doc. That is so very helpful to them...since there are so many things that can show the same symptoms..and because you often end up with a lovely comorbid like ADD too!


Even after or if you are dx you should keep on with the journal. I found it helped me learn my triggers and mood cycles. Knowledge to how you personally are with you BP is helpful in treating it as much as the medications.

Please keep in touch and let us know how it's going?


Hope

I can't really describe the depths of my appreciation for all of you and your (amazing) comments. You've convinced me to seek help and not give up easily. The support you've given means the world to me... While I'm surrounded by people that don't understand and offer nothing but criticism, you're comments are somewhat keeping me sane. Never in my life have I had someone say that they understand or can relate to me in such ways... it's really refreshing to hear...

And to justhope - I will start up a journal as soon as I can. I'll be sure to mark if I've taken any meds that day, how I feel effected, and many other things that should help greatly.

Thanks once again for all of your comments - I'll be sure to keep everyone posted on how things are going.

There's a mood chart that bipolar people usually should follow in order to keep track of it, trying to keep it logged somehow will be effective when it is appointment time, keeping sleep and stress fairly regulated will help you also

Wonderful news then!

That is what we are here for!

Helpful hint, if you have a hard time writing one ,but love to be online,,,setting up a blog on one of the sites like Myspace or 360 and seting it to private is great too! I love to write, but keeping up with a journal in my house is almost impossible. Taking the time to pull it out if I find it..is harder for me too.
Plus there is the whole privacy issue too. You can always copy and past and print it out...to take it with you to the doctor. Just thought I'd share something that worked well for me.

Please do stay in touch...:)

I also keep a blog, at Yahoo 360. The link is in my signature, and it's public. If you'd like to have a look at it, please feel free! There is a lot in there about my medication trials, etc. :)

Yes I forgot to mention I have one there as well. There are several of us other there....if you don't find us entertaining enough here...feel free...CF keeps us busy there too!

There are also books that I personally recommend, The Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison, a bipolar psychiatrist who is one of the most brilliant experts on the disorder, The Depression and Manic Depression Workbook, by Mary Ellen Copeland, a treatment resistant bipolar who had to find another way to manage her illness, and Feeling Good, I don't know who writes this book, but I have read it and it focuses a lot more on the nonmedication aspects of treating mood disorders, those should be of some help to you.

I have been diagnosed with ADD a few months ago - age 35 even though I have known about my disorder since childhood, I was just not diagnosed before. I have also experienced depression and anxiety with often symptoms of panic attacks. I was able to become more stable but once in a while I feel depressed. I have tried most antidepressants but do not do well with most of them. Prozac nearly killed me with anxiety, Paxil worked well but I gained 80 lbs while taking it. I now think my problem is clyclothimia since I have a pattern mood high and then slowly it reaches the low for a few days, sometimes a week and then I start getting hiper again... nothing related to becoming away from my reality but I do dream a lot and fantasize about things I shouldn`t and very often I get into depression. When I was younger I would cheat on my boyfriend when I was on the high moods and immediately after fall into depression... does it sound like cyclothimia? I will be contacting my psychiatrist and family therapist tomorrow....

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38526

There quite a few links here that lead to sites explaining cyclothmia in better detail. HTH!