The other day I was researching what the best MP3 player would be for me. I thought I found it and bought it a couple weeks ago but two defective players in 3 days changed my mind.

The other day I felt frustrated that I couldn’t find a decent MP3 player for under $200 and I’m not willing to spend $300 on a stinking MP3 player. My laptop didn’t cost much more than that…and it plays MP3’s…it just won’t fit in my pocket.

The other day I felt frustrated that my son has an MP3 player, that I bought him 3 years ago, and he rarely uses it. I don’t like his MP3 player though. Maybe he doesn’t either.

The other day I felt frustrated that my wife has an iPod that I bought for her for the Avon Walk last year, and she wasn’t allowed to use it on the Walk. I think my wife likes it…but she doesn’t use it very often.

The other day I was riding on the train to Chicago for work. I saw a lot of people with MP3 players. I felt frustrated that I still don’t have an MP3 player.

Yesterday I totally forgot about MP3 players.

Yesterday morning I totally forgot about the people on the train while I waited for my wife to get her MRI. Yesterday my biggest concern was that I couldn’t get wireless internet access on my laptop while I worked in the waiting room.

Yesterday afternoon we got the results of my wife’s brain MRI.

Yesterday evening we wondered how we’re going to tell the kids.

Yesterday I felt frustrated and angry that we just did this a year ago with breast cancer and thought we were winning the war.

Yesterday I thought about MP3 players again. I wish I hadn’t. I wish I could take back this thought. Yesterday I thought, for just a second, a thought that I didn’t see coming.

Yesterday I thought there is a very real possibility that my wife’s MP3 player might become mine…

But, yesterday I sais I would be willing to give up all my worldly possessions for one thing...I don't know if God is listening.

Today I woke up and don’t feel frustrated or angry. Today I’m happy that I get one more day to tell my wife how happy I am that she has an iPod and I don’t.

Today I’m happy that I don’t have to tell our kids the news…yet.

Today is all we ever really have...

Today as I write this, I realize in the core of my soul, that I’m wasting time that I’ll never get back.

FightingBoredom, I don't know what to say, except that this hits like a ton of bricks, and I am so sorry, you and my family are in my thoughts, and we are all with you here.

Even the simplest things can be a good memory, sometimes for sheer amusement. The silliest thought, the thought that reminds us to embrace those little things each day just because we're alive to have them.

I'm sorry FB, I am so terribly sorry. You have all my good thoughts and hopes for your family.

FB, you have an amazing perspective, and I feel so much love for you right now simply because you see the love in your life through the hard times. the MRI scan might not be positive, but just keep looking at how much more time matters to you, and how belittled the unimportant things are when the important parts of your life are highlighted. take good care of yourself, and thoes around you. *hug*

FB, I'm so sorry to hear that. Take care.

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

This morning we met with the Radiation Oncologists.

She explained there are 4 lesions essentially in the left brain away from anything that would cause serious issues. They are small and we caught them early. Luckily, one of them is near the occipital lobe or nerve or whatever and the swelling there caused the headaches that led to the need for the MRI. If it was anywhere else we might not know until it was worse or too late.

She started whole brain radiation treatments at 4:30 after more than 4 hours at the cancer center today. Treatments will happen once a day for 3 weeks.

Side effects are hair loss(for sure) and short term memory loss for 6 months to a year after treatment. There may be a risk of seizures from scarring at the tumor sites but it's a low risk.

We feel much better today than we did over the weekend...but really TIRED!

That is certainly very encouraging news, thanks for the update.

You know, she is a very lucky lady, in that she does not have to go through this alone, as a single lady, she has a very loving and suppportive guy in you. Thank you for being you and being a good husband and friend to her. Thank you.

I'm glad they caught it in time. Strength to your family FB. Please keep us posted.