View Full Version : Help me get help.

10-04-07, 09:58 PM
My parentsí current confidence and pride in my abilities is only breaking me into a thousand pieces. They think I am such an achiever but they donít see my anxiety. They look at my good GPA and completely overlook how much I struggle to get every single assignment done. What can you do when you know you have a problem but youíve worked so hard to deal with it that nobody else can see it exists? I am a self-diagnosed case of ADD. Unlike a large percentile of our population I donít use the term as an excuse for laziness. The matter of the fact is that I work too hard to reach my potential. I know that medication would let me breathe a little easier. Medication would let me do something OTHER than homework all ****ing day and all ****ing night. Itís not even that I think the work is hard. I just have to allow myself all this extra time for distractions. I have to allow myself time to take a break and do something else because I cant sit down and concentrate on something for very long. (As Iím writing this Iím really supposed to be finishing an Argument/Persuasion paper thatís due tomorrow) It seems like its getting worse these days. I use to love reading and now I canít even force myself through the first chapter of my favorite book. I sit through my classes pretending to pay attention to the teacher (its not like I act up or cause trouble like the stereotypical ADD)Ö. But I quickly tune out her voice and start thinking about random unimportant things that are buzzing around constantly in my head. And although Iím constantly organizing or cleaningÖ it wonít even stay that way for a day. I fidget a lotÖ Iím either rubbing my hand over my scalp, tapping my foot, clicking my pen, moving things around, or drumming my fingers. I have trouble having conversations because I zone outÖ even with my closest friends. I am unable to have normal steady relationships because I get bored and feel trapped so easily. I also struggle with depression and I have read that it is often linked with a persons ADD.

My brother and I have both been aware that we probably have ADD for a long timeÖ he isnít doing as good in college as I amÖ. I think we BOTH need to see a doctor about this but our parents donít really believe in getting ďmental-help.Ē

What can I do to convince them to let me get tested? Iím 17 (18 in a couple of months) and in my second year of college (I got tired of home schooling and got my GED early) I donít think that I can handle all this stress for much longer. Iíve recently been considering dropping out of collegeÖ even though I know itís not the right answer and not what I really want (I really want to get a degree in art)

In English 2 Iím supposed to be writing a research paper for the end of the semesterÖ Do you think I should ask my teacher if I could write about undiagnosed ADD? And perhaps give the finished paper to my parents (we have a really hard time communicating) StillÖ that would be months from nowÖ and Iím tired of having to ďdealĒ with this.

PleaseÖ advise?

10-04-07, 10:18 PM
What can I do to convince them to let me get tested? Iím 17 (18 in a couple of months) and in my second year of college Hi miss_cantfocus, and welcome to the forums.

I'm not sure that there is anything that can convince some people. If you're going to be 18 in a couple of months you could just wait until you turn 18 and then go to campus health services to find out when the Dr(s) will be on campus, and then be sure to discuss this with the Dr when he/she is in, or perhaps just visit your family Dr.

After you turn 18 you will be an adult, and what you and your Dr choose to do concerning your health is between you and your Dr.

Do you think I should ask my teacher if I could write about undiagnosed ADD? I think this is a good idea whether you give it to your parents or not. The reason I say that is because this would be an assignment that you feel passionately about, and as a result it would not feel like something that you "have" to do like most homework often feels like.

I've learned from my experience with things like hobbies, and other things that I feel passionate about, that I tend to hyperfocus on those things that I am deeply interested in with or without medication.

Medication mostly only helps me focus on those things that I normally would not, it has little effect on the things I am already passionate about. I hope I explained this ok. I certainlly struggle with conveying simple points when I am unmedicated. :o

10-17-07, 10:50 PM
i think you explained it well, lars :)

11-05-07, 04:28 PM
I agree that Lars explained it well, but I have a question.

Is it necessary for minors in the US to wait before coming of age before seeking treatment? I'd usually be an advocate of parents' rights, but I think there's a good chance that, if ADHD treatment were medically necessary (however the law views medical necessity), that it might be accessible despite parents' objections.

Certainly worth asking confidentially at the student health center, in any event, right?

And I really identify with the OP, as a now 34-year old who was never diagnosed with ADHD because I had a tremendous memory to make up for my lack of concentration. There's still a belief out there that people with ADHD can't get good grades, hence anyone with good grades can't be suffering from ADHD, which is just silly.

11-05-07, 06:11 PM
Is it necessary for minors in the US to wait before coming of age before seeking treatment? There are some things doctors can do for a minor child that do not require parental permission. Performing a pelvic exam and prescribing birth control is an example.

There are other things that doctors can not do for a minor child unless there is parental permission. A blood transfusion is one example.

I don't know which side of that division getting a prescription for ADHD meds would fall on. But it's worth noting that even if a minor child can get an appointment and prescription without their parents knowing, if the intention was really to keep information about the appointment/prescription from the parents, the minor child could not use their parents' insurance - because the insurance company would notify the parents. So the minor child should be prepared to use cash, not insurance. And that puts the cost of most procedures out of the financial reach of most minor children.

One thing that might make it different for this person is the fact she's in college. I know my college did not care how old you were - when you entered college your parents signed a waiver essentially telling them that activities on campus were the student's business and not the parents' - that parents would not be notified of anything - not grades, not medical stuff, not arrest records. Nothing. That their child should not be enrolled in that college if they were not capable of dealing with their own stuff.
So there's a high chance that this person, being a college student, can obtain help through the college health clinic without her parents hearing about it. It is certainly one avenue to check out.