Everytime I ask for rides people are geting annoyed at me saying why I have no car or licence they just don't understand that my mom won't let me drive and I just can't with my adhd

I'm afraid to drive, and the people who know I don't drive are very understanding about it. They usually offer me rides, and don't mind, in fact they often enjoy the company. And my husband will drive me to meetings and such, which he enjoys because he has time to himself.

The thing is, I'm embarrased about needing rides, and dont feel comfortable asking, so I'll skip things because of it. But you know, I would probably skip anyway because I don't want to make the effort to get there, driving or otherwise.

However, I know other people who don't drive for various reasons, some because of eye or other medical problems. Some people dont want the hassle of owning a car - payments, insurance, maintenance, repairs, gas - and they find it costs less to use transit and take cabs, and occasionally ask for rides. It's perfectly acceptable to not drive or own a car for whatever reason.

I'm not really being much help, am I? Just relating what I've experienced. I do think the people who are annoyed at you are not being very understanding or reasonable. What to do...?

Have you done Driver's School?

can you use the Lynx bus transportation? (looks like it might be Orlando's city busses?)
http://www.golynx.com/

Hey Mary,

Have you ever thought about taking drivers education? I think that they have places in your area that teach defensive driving. If you are medicated for your ADHD and are not too impulsive, why not try? Have you talked with your doctor about this?

Best of luck

At Heart

Everytime I ask for rides people are geting annoyed at me saying why I have no car or licence they just don't understand that my mom won't let me drive and I just can't with my adhd

Is your mom giving people sufficient gas money and do you take public transit when possible.

Giving people rides wasn't a big thing when gas was thirty five cents a gallon and when it was fifty cents a gallon a buck in a half was sufficient gas money however now that gas is up around the three dollar range giving rides for free is basically not some thing most people can afford to do.

Even if your mom gives them $5.00 for gas with the traffic in your area the time it takes for some one to come pick you up and drive you to your destination and return you home may take up a lot more time than they are happy about on a regular basis. If I remember that area correctly you have a lot toll roads.

I would make use of public transportation when possible so others do not feel taken advantage of by you not being able to drive. Some times if you can schedule your need of a ride during a time when your friends/family will be out in running errands themselves so they have to go out of their way as little as possible . Your not being able to drive maybe due to your ADD but it is your ADD therefor it is your responsibility do every thing you can to decrease the negative impact this has upon those around you - taking public transportation is one of those ways . . taking public transportation will also decrease your dependence upon others and give you some personal freedom.

I have to drive I live in BFE we have no public transportation here. Luckily my ADD doesn't really effect my driving. Even before I was diagnosed driving didn't really bother me that much and I had a decent driving record so I am giving you an opinion as a person who has had to run other people around for various reasons.

Everytime I ask for rides people are geting annoyed at me saying why I have no car or licence they just don't understand that my mom won't let me drive and I just can't with my adhd

MY GOD!!!! My twin!!! I am going through the same thing and I'm 31 ...I did drive for a week and once I paniced and rammed car into a tree... :faint: and this was at 25...I am always constantly having to get rides from my mom or my friends...they dont seem to mind but one special guy in my life wishes I would learn to drive again and get my own car...Sure..just pick the money of that money tree why don't you baby? :rolleyes:

Since I wrecked car, mom had to replace the old one with an 86 economy car that breaks down if it overheats...I blame myself for wreckin the other car lol...but still she wont let me drive it because she thinks if it breaks down I might not be able to handle it...Translation..she doesn't trust me. Not that cockamammy excuse of the car breaking down..but dont trust me to know how to drive period. Since a teenager I have been wanting to drive and finally 10 years later I get a taste what independence is like ...but just that one mistake took that away. :mad:

My friend doesn't gripe about taking me anywhere cause she don't think I should be driving anyway..too many trees in Louisiana :( :foot: ..My gentleman friend says I just need to get back in the saddle...HA and where am I going to find the horse or the money to buy it. I asked him if he would let me drive his car to get used driving again ..He says "Sure, I'll just take ya to a desert with nothing to run into. :rolleyes: Well I say if he wishes I could drive and won't help me, then he shouldn't complain at all.

The same thing goes to your friends and family Oh Twin O' Mine ;)

Is there decent public transport? Are there buses and trains?
Maybe give driving lessons a go. If it doesnt work out, at least you have tried.

Is there decent public transport? Are there buses and trains?
Maybe give driving lessons a go. If it doesnt work out, at least you have tried.
For me, nay, I live in the boondies of Westwego and the bus dont even come here...Sheesh not even Dominoes Or Pizza Hut deliever here lol...Cab's eh they cost Mulla that I just don't have...but we gots to do what's we gots to do in this world, I know it's easier for others to get around... but sometimes bummin rides from people is just about the only option...Sucks to say the least.

I bought a really old beaten up tough as nails small truck as my first car and my girlfriend learnt to drive in it.

No one expected it to go fast...and it didn't so my girlfriend found that OK.

It was so battered people kept out of her way because the marks of past encounters covered the thing. It was 4WD so if she drove into the ditch it just drove straight back out again. The bumpers were made of steel I beams and you could hit a tree without bending them.

Plus we could sleep in the back :) it could take lots of friends along the beach and it was really really cool.

Its alot more fun to drive if you don't give a damn and have a tough car.

You Americans crease me up....Petrol (gas) is US$11/US gallon here now and people still drive big cars and give lifts.

I also find it strange that the only people I meet who've never learnt to drive.....are WOMEN.

dons flame proof suit.

kilt

kilt

Draga, that was me in high school and college! There were buses to high school, but I had to suck it up and learn to drive so I could get to college. The alternative was hiking two miles to catch a bus.

But that was a small city too. After I moved to the big city, I had many reasons for not driving. We only ever had one car so hubby drove it to work, it was usually older and I would not have been able to handle a breakdown. Once we had a standard he tried to teach me to drive; the lesson ended when he said 'brake' instead of 'clutch'. *lol*

I have days when I think I could get over it, and days when I panic at the thought of sitting in the driver's seat. I'm lucky though, I have access to public transit and actually enjoy it most of the time. But bumming rides, yeah - paininthea**.

I think there are special lessons for *nervous* drivers, might look into that one day.

Have you done Driver's School?not yet i have restrictors since i was 18 im 26 but mom is giving me a hard time when i wanna get my licence saying i wont pay attention to the road

yea i have to walk like 40 minutes to get to a stop from where i amcan you use the Lynx bus transportation? (looks like it might be Orlando's city busses?)
http://www.golynx.com/

i have not taken meds since i was 17 my mom said i got to sick from it so i have to learn to deal with my adhd alone and i havent been to doctor since i was 17 yrs old i wanna go to the classes is just my mom and dad get in the wayHey Mary,

Have you ever thought about taking drivers education? I think that they have places in your area that teach defensive driving. If you are medicated for your ADHD and are not too impulsive, why not try? Have you talked with your doctor about this?

Best of luck

At Heart

but i always help with gas and tolls and sometimes invite the person for lunch or dinnerIs your mom giving people sufficient gas money and do you take public transit when possible.

Giving people rides wasn't a big thing when gas was thirty five cents a gallon and when it was fifty cents a gallon a buck in a half was sufficient gas money however now that gas is up around the three dollar range giving rides for free is basically not some thing most people can afford to do.

Even if your mom gives them $5.00 for gas with the traffic in your area the time it takes for some one to come pick you up and drive you to your destination and return you home may take up a lot more time than they are happy about on a regular basis. If I remember that area correctly you have a lot toll roads.

I would make use of public transportation when possible so others do not feel taken advantage of by you not being able to drive. Some times if you can schedule your need of a ride during a time when your friends/family will be out in running errands themselves so they have to go out of their way as little as possible . Your not being able to drive maybe due to your ADD but it is your ADD therefor it is your responsibility do every thing you can to decrease the negative impact this has upon those around you - taking public transportation is one of those ways . . taking public transportation will also decrease your dependence upon others and give you some personal freedom.

I have to drive I live in BFE we have no public transportation here. Luckily my ADD doesn't really effect my driving. Even before I was diagnosed driving didn't really bother me that much and I had a decent driving record so I am giving you an opinion as a person who has had to run other people around for various reasons.

the public trasportation kinda sucks in orlando florida no subways on land or undergrond no trains i wanna go for the licence but is my mom Is there decent public transport? Are there buses and trains?
Maybe give driving lessons a go. If it doesnt work out, at least you have tried.

why i wished i lived in new york and jersey and philly and chicago and california good public transportations there

Why dont you talk with your mom about going back to the Dr for your ADHD and see if you can take different meds? there are lots out there to try.

Then, perhaps with the help of meds and studying you can take driver's ed.

You're 26, mary, old enough to make decisions (as long as you are your own guardian). if you want to move, if you want to take drivers ed, then do it.

Don't just sit around wishing . . . life is too short for that. if you want something then go after it.

thanks :-DWhy dont you talk with your mom about going back to the Dr for your ADHD and see if you can take different meds? there are lots out there to try.

Then, perhaps with the help of meds and studying you can take driver's ed.

You're 26, mary, old enough to make decisions (as long as you are your own guardian). if you want to move, if you want to take drivers ed, then do it.

Don't just sit around wishing . . . life is too short for that. if you want something then go after it.

I know it's much easier said than done - acting on wishes. I'm currently working on some that i really want to happen.

It's easy to sit and complain. it's really hard to take risks and act on what you want.
take the risk, mary!! even if you try and fail - at least you tried! You never know if it will work unless you try.


Go for it!

im going for it thanksI know it's much easier said than done - acting on wishes. I'm currently working on some that i really want to happen.

It's easy to sit and complain. it's really hard to take risks and act on what you want.
take the risk, mary!! even if you try and fail - at least you tried! You never know if it will work unless you try!!

Go for it!

I also find it strange that the only people I meet who've never learnt to drive.....are WOMEN.

dons flame proof suit.

meadd823 gets ice cubes to put down back of flame proof suit :p


Perhaps because most women tend to be more inattentive ADD. The ADD subtype combined with differences in hormones and culture may render a female less assertive. I also know that ADD loves company and many here who are not living/driving on their own my have other problems combined with their ADD that making independent transportation much more difficult if not impossible to achieve.




I was the opposite I was driving by 15, not legally but what is a plastic picture any way. Naturally this was a different country back when I was a teen ager. I was usually the one asked for a ride because I had a car and lived in my own home so I did not have the restrictions many of my friends did.I understand this from the drivers point of view and back then I did not mind, now I do not if I am going out any way but if this was a regular thing I would want some money for gas.

drive without a license its fun.
no car..just borow ur neighbours..haha
nah im just al jokes.
if its not too far away just walk ay
if its farther away check wif with yur mates
if you feel lyk ur just asking too much then study the road code.
make sure yur real confident. den get your cuzzies or a mate to be next to you wen u drive.
drive somewhere real empty.
wen u get confidnt enuf go for quiet roads.
build up to busy as roads den your al sweet.
dont put urslef in the deep end.
sory try undastand my bad english spellings and all. if i tried could do beta but lazy, ****ed up (drunk) and cant b stufed

Hi Marytza

Apologies for the mysogynistic jibe its just that I get a little annoyed that some men think that its OK to keep their women in a subservience and submissive position in society by denying them the ability to go distance on their own when they want. As far as I can see this is the main reason many women don't get licences.....thier menfolk want to retain complete control of their lives.....maybe this is the reason your parents don't want you to learn to drive.......because you will then be "adult" and able to just drive off wherever you want.

ADHD is not a reason not to drive. Driving is essential in a western culture, not to do so severely limits ones options.

I find driving actually provides a good stimulation, OK not as good as sex or paragliding but hey driving down a twisty country road in a stick shift convertible is about as good. When i had my sports cars I used to go for a drive to clear my head made me feel ggod about myself and focussed my mind.

Also most people prang a car at some point when they are inexperienced, thats why the insurance premiums are so high.

Once you have your licence and are a bit experienced buy a really old car....they're cool, and no one gets uptight if you drive slowly and calmly.....and you find you don't want to speed anyway. My old truck was 1959, one of the sports was 1964, 50mph felt well fast enough in them!

If you look at some of the people who do drive then you realise that anyone can.

It might take a while but getting a licence is the real point one comes of age!

kilt

I tried driving once. I watch the traffic light go red. I then wonder if it would be more effective if it was blue.. I read once that there's different coloured traffic lights in some parts of the world .. would I respond as well to a colour other than red. Something is bothering my ears. The voice won't stop "Brake! Brake now!".. There is a car in front of me. Someone better stop the car.

That was me driving. I could handle no more than 10hours driving experience, now I've just let my licence expire and I am MUCH more comfortable walking everywhere. I save a lot of money. I laugh when my friends catch a cab instead of a 20 minute walk. My average walk is around an hour. Some days I get up to 4 hours of walking, but it's all pleasant. I live near bushland so there's a lot of shortcuts through valleys and rivers. Beats the bejesus out of rush hour traffic. I hate traffic, so this just works well for me. Sure, I rely on lifts when I have to get somewhere quick, but one day I'll make sure to move closer to a train station. This is working out for me.

I think those of us who are calmed by driving experience our ADD and/or driving very differently than those who find driving scary. I think this is one of those same ADD but different ADD experiences kind of things.

hope it al works out 4 u marytza
keep us postd on wot u end up doin

i appreciate ithope it al works out 4 u marytza
keep us postd on wot u end up doin

LumberjackJive, that sounds like me. In my perfect world, I'd be able to walk everywhere I need to go. A lot of places are within walking distance, and I'm close to transit, so driving is not an absolute necessity for me.

I still keep my license though, because it's good ID, and I might drive again one day. When they come out with cars that drive themselves and I can afford one.

Marytza, good luck!

My No~Go, Life...
Hi Marytza, Gosh do I know where you're coming from..!!!! I can't drive because of various problems like zoning out, an unability to judge speed or distance, vision problems, and slow reflexes. As I've said in a previous post I would be the Road Hazard ! :eek:

My Mother and family had been telling me for years that driving was not for me. I thought she was just afraid for me to be independent, but with age comes wisdom and much as I hate to say it my Mother was right. Driving instructor confirmed what my mother had been saying all along
My AD{H}D, Dyscalculia, Sensory Intergration Disorder and Vision problems make it impossible for me to drive. Of course diagnosis didn't come until later but even so my mother recognized my symptoms and problems even without a name to them. :faint: :(

Where we live we don't have public transportation {We have cabs but cost is prohibitive} and I have no close friends up here so I live a socially isolated life and go no~where! :( To make matters worse we don't have T.V either and moving is not a viable option So yeah, life is very circumspect, mundane, and all too predictable for me. Sad but true. :( :faint:
Good Luck, Marytza, I hope you're able to learn to drive and get your license, so you don't live a life of "No Go."
The only hope for me would be if our city put in a public bus system. :faint:

:faint: :faint: :faint: :confused: :faint: :faint: :faint:

Everytime I ask for rides people are geting annoyed at me saying why I have no car or licence they just don't understand that my mom won't let me drive and I just can't with my adhd
I dont get why you cant with your ADHD?

im glad my boyfriend whois adhd has a car i go places and he doesnt complain i help pay gas

a few days ago i went to my youthgroup that i go always and boyfriend was driving told him how to get there i totally blacked out and forgot had to call my mom for directions

I have the same issue. I've only driven maybe 20 times in my life and I'm 23.:rolleyes: I'm kinda afraid to drive because I tune out a lot. I remember being on the freeway and I was driving. Nearly drove me and my father off the damn bridge because I tuned out.:eek: I tell you no matter how hard I try to focus I'm just never really there. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable driving.



Everytime I ask for rides people are geting annoyed at me saying why I have no car or licence they just don't understand that my mom won't let me drive and I just can't with my adhd

Yeah, well, keeping a licence has been a real problem for me cause I don't like to drive by the rules. I have fought against rules and authority all my life, often to my own detriment, but it's bigger than I am.

I feel ya Im scared of driving. Im 19 years old too. I personally don't want to drive until im emotionally ready I hate that people who are younger then me pick on me because I don't have a licise or permit.

I didn't get my permit until I was 17, almost 18 and only because my mom started having health problems and needed somebody who could drive her to the hospital or other places while my dad was at work. I got my license last January and it took me three times taking the driver's test to finally get it. They said I didn't look around enough, then the third time, when I passed, she said I was looking around a little too much. lol.

I love driving, my dad has actually admitted to me that I was a better driver than him. I've only had my licence for a year now and my dad has been driving since he was like... 16 and he's 55 now. lol.

I was afraid of the freeways at first, they scared me. Driver's Ed class really did help me though. We went on a road that was like a normal street (with cross streets and everything) but the speed limit was 55mph. I got used to driving at that speed on that road then later, I was working on a play in the state above me (it was only like... an hour or two drive up.) Only way there was by freeway and I had already failed the driver's test twice, and I figured until I conquered the freeway, I wouldn't pass the driver's test because it was keeping me from being confident behind the wheel. Once I became comfortable on the freeway, I took my test again and passed.

Now, as a licensed driver, I assume that everybody else on the road are idiots and give myself plenty of room between me and the car ahead of me (including at stop lights/signs). I like to leave at least enough room I can see the bottom of the back tires plus 3-4 feet of road way between me and the person ahead of me. That way, if I get rear ended, there's enough room between me and the guy ahead of me, if I get pushed forward, hopefully I won't hit the person ahead of me. It's always best to drive defensively instead of offensively... offensive drivers are the buttheads I yell at (in my car where they can't hear me. lol.) for cutting me off and driving stupidly. Haha!

As long as you obey the rules of the road, and watch for the idiots, which is easy if you assume everybody, except you, are idiots on wheels, give yourself plenty of room, then you should be fine. After maybe two or three weeks of driving with my license, I started seeing and predicting which cars were going to try and cut me off or otherwise drive stupidly, after a while you can sort of see the demeanor and judge how to react once they do something stupid.

Maybe try by watching your friends drive, because I am a perfectionist and like examples, I picked my mom's driving to emulate because she's a good driver. So when I was 14 I started asking her questions and watching what she did and how she did it. I also started watching other drivers and how my mother reacted to their stupidity (ie cutting her off.) And now, I emulate that with my driving, and a lot of my friends even agree I'm a good driver and feel 100% safe riding with me.

Marytza

I don't drive either and I don't think I ever will for several reasons.

Selena