I got this idea from the worst fortune ever... it came on a tea bag. The irony boggles the mind. Doesn't it? Anyway, I digress... the fortune went as follows:

Happiness comes from contentment.

No s*** Sherlock.

Anyway, the idea is whenever you see something that states the obvious whether it be in a fortune cookie, on a billboard or whereever...

You report it here for all to see... the stupidity of mankind.

"If you cannot sleep, lay down and close your eyes, and keep them shut."


The cure for insomnia is to fall asleep. :eyebrow:

LOL those are great!

i know i've seen them around, but can't think of one now ..

i shall keep my eyes open for them!!

this one's a great one Jesse 7.0 !! i can see myself enjoying plenty of laughs in this thread!!

Caution, knives are sharp and may be dangerous

Caution: Coffee is very hot and may cause serious burn injury.

(after the lady put a cuppa mickey d's between her legs and spilled it getting burned......can you say.....doh, DDD, duh, ummm what was she thinking? And she won the lawsuit?) As I say, Stupid hurts...

My new med said "Do not take Vyvanse if you are allergic to this drug". Duh, and also how would I know if I was allergic to it before I took it anyway!

Lysol disinfectant. . . . Do not spray in eyes

LOL Swede...


How about the Lysol wipes.

Precautions: Harmful to Humans and Domestic Animals?
So only the non-domesticated animals and humans can use without caution? :eyebrow:

My med script. For your history lesson I am bipolar and have mania:

Activation of mania/hypomania-In placebo-controlled trials in patients with major depressive disorder, activation of mania or hypomania was reported to 0.1% (1/1139) of cymbalta-treated patients and 0.1% (1/777) of placebo treated patients. Activation of mania/hypomania has been reported in a small proportion of patients with mood disorders who were treated with other marketed drugs effective in the treatment of major depressive disorder. As with these other agents, Cymbalta should be used cautiously in patients with a history of mania.

Okay... wait a minute. If you were successively treated with another medication why be on this stuff? First point.

Second point. USED CAUTIOUSLY IN PATIENTS WITH A HISTORY OF MANIA?

Mind you the print was ant sized. :rolleyes:

It never ends.

My med script. For your history lesson I am bipolar and have mania:

Activation of mania/hypomania-In placebo-controlled trials in patients with major depressive disorder, activation of mania or hypomania was reported to 0.1% (1/1139) of cymbalta-treated patients and 0.1% (1/777) of placebo treated patients. Activation of mania/hypomania has been reported in a small proportion of patients with mood disorders who were treated with other marketed drugs effective in the treatment of major depressive disorder. As with these other agents, Cymbalta should be used cautiously in patients with a history of mania.
:eyebrow: :eek: :faint: WTF ....

Don't read the labels....

All I can think of now has nothing to do with this at all...if you have an erection lasting more then four hours.....

lol

on a clothing tag...

*do not wear while ironing*


--- and I was going to save so much time ironing the clothing on my body *while* taking my shower.... :(

I did love the sign, Caution, Wombat bites.... but not so obvious for non-aussies?

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/hammer.jpg
On a hammer-- "Misuse may lead to property damage and bodily injury."


(deedeedee)

A fortune cookie I got:

You are beautiful.


That's all it said! :faint:

Sticker on prescription eye drops: "For the eye".
This is in addition to the label that says "instill in EYE". And the fact it was prescribed by an EYE DOCTOR.

Fortune cookie: "You love Chinese food".:D

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/toilet%20brush.jpg
On a toilet brush-- "Do not use for personal hygiene."


:eyebrow: :eek: :faint:

sign on blow dryer: do not use in the shower dang i cant use it right after that second rinse.

warning on lawn mower blade and I do not make this up:
do not attempt to stop with parts of your body. thats explains the missing toes

warning on christmas lights: for indoor or outdoor use only:eyebrow: where else is there?

on a packet of peanuts

"... may contain traces of nuts ..."

uh, duh!

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/bicycle.jpg
On a bicycle -- "Removing the wheel can influence the performance of the bicycle"
</LEFT>

(You think?)



http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/sunshield.jpg
On car sun shield-- "Do not drive with shield in place."

(Unless you've been drinking of course.)

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."

Printed in the information booklet, of course...


"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."

(-On a Bottle of shampoo for dogs...is it OK for cats? HUMANS maybe? :eyebrow:-)

LMAO...too funny


http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/cough.jpg
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(Rosie, sweetie, don't fire up the tractor because Mommy gave you medicine.)

The ads for Lunesta and Rozerem that tell you not to drive or operate machinery until you know it they will make you drowsy. Hell, you take it to make you sleep.....WTF?

*Seriously cracking up*

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."


On an actual toilet at a sports facility! :eek:

eeewwwwwww

Do not smoke signs---on fuel pumps at gas station. Didn't they watch any revenge movie?

Duh....



http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/cow.jpg
On electric cattle prod -- "For use on animals only."

(What if I kinda like it?) FREAK! :eek:

This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Home dremmel tool :eyebrow:

*LOL* When I had to have a chipped tooth smoothed, I said to the dentist I could have done it myself with a dremel! So maybe it's not such a silly warning?

How about "do not use in a regular over" - on a toaster oven.

On my record sheet for the doctor's today (it appeared in this order) :p :

Print name Jesse E. *****
Print name of person who's insurance is paying for this Jesse E. *****

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/easycheese.jpg
On aerosol cheese can-- "Remove cap."


(But I'm not wearing a cap.)

OMG these made me laugh and I so needed it today. The only one i can think of was

"Increased security measures will help prevent loss"
no kidding? I didn't know that... mine is not nearly as funny.... alas I fail again.

No, no failing here Dory.....I just have work to do...and am a typical ADD'er...

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/log.jpg
On a fireplace log -- "Caution: Risk of Fire."

(Yep...Hope so.)

On a corrugated package that I received a mail order in this morning:

"This package was sealed to protect the contents inside"

Hmmmm! :eyebrow:

Why don't they just use a general all-purpose warning:

DON'T BE STUPID!

That covers pretty much everything. Of course, it depends on how one defines "stupid"...

http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/images/WARNpics/chips.bmp
On a bag of Fritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."


(The Shoplifter Special.) :cool:

Every hockey game does this:

Example:

Inerviewer
Your team is down 4 to zero. What are you going to do different?



(I don't know? Try to win?) :eyebrow:

A bumper sticker on the back of a cop car....

"Pull over - it's the law"

um.... if you can read the sticker.... isn't it too late??

on bottle rockets do not light towards face

and the one I really really hate is when there is a hudge tragady and they interview a family mamber of someone who had been killed and asks
"what are you feeling right now?"
"i dont know bob, I have a little heart burn from that over done pizza last night, and i think I may have that bird flue going around. you got any asprin my head hurts also."

A bumper sticker on the back of a cop car....

"Pull over - it's the law"

um.... if you can read the sticker.... isn't it too late??
:eyebrow: wouldn't you be pulling the cop over, if you can read the back of the cop car? :D

I got a fortune cookie once that said:

"as you slide down the banaster of life, may the splinters never point your way."
I thought that was kind of funny. I keep it.

Hockey games again:

"We're gonna go out there and play 60 minutes of hockey."

Well, that's good, because that's EXACTLY the amount of time in the game.

Know what I'd like to hear them say?

"Well, what we're gonna do, is shoot the puck in the other team's net as many times as we can, and at the same time keep them from shooting the puck into our net. I think if we do that, we can win the game."

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover"....on a package of shin guards for bicyclists.

(Yes, but if you place them on your head, will they protect you from thinking about how stupid that statement is?) :eyebrow:

"Please do not put your fingers through the cage."