I really can not take this ADD crappola! I get so forgetful at times that I make people Mad....even ones who have ADD too. I made a very dear friend of mine angry tonight because I forgot he specificaly requested that I not do send chain email with his email on it....and already people he doesn't know sends him email....I am soo angry with myself and with the person who emailed him! I really don't blame my friend for being angry. How can I be sooo stupid??????!!!!!

Hurting my friends or Making them furious I can not take! I hate being off meds I screw up soo much and I feel like a complete idiot and a failure....Maybe the words I grew up with are true "She can't do anythiing right!" from dear old dad were true...being off the meds I get more forgetful and lazy and I just make people Mad more!

How on earth can I go out into the outside world with the way I am now when I can't stop people from getting mad at me online who has ADD Like I do..to a normie I would be even worse...Not even in a cyber world Is anyone safe from my stupidity!!!

Melanie,

I think you're being way too hard on yourself! You made a mistake. You're human, it's ok to make mistakes. You didn't deliberately do something to hurt your friend, and I'm sure he knows that. I know I don't really know you, but hearing you have such a negative attitude about yourself saddens me. I get the impression that you haven't been off the meds for very long, that has to be a big adjustment for you. Give yourself time and don't be so hard on yourself!! Take care.

Dee

Thanks Dee.
I am hard on myself...I have hard a hard life and the way I was raised it wasn't ok to be human and make mistakes if you did you were victim to ridicule. The only good thing about being hard on myself I find is that it reminds me not to repeat the same mistakes.

I emailed my friend saying how sorry I am, but from the way he was typing I am not sure he really understands I can only hope he understands once he reads email..God Give Strength to Accept the things I can't change!

Btw Dee welcome to the forums! I was just venting. This is the best place to vent! I hope you like it here. Take care!

Sweet Melly~

Most people with ADD are very hard on themselves. An ADD friend of mine calls it "emotional self abuse" (as opposed to other self abusive behaviors). You recognize that you're hard on yourself; now with that awareness, try to lighten your own load. Own your mistakes, and as you say you already do, learn from them. But it is so important not to condemn yourself for your ADD moments--life's too short for that! As soon as a "negative" ADD moment has come and gone, a "positive"/funny one will replace it!
Be sure to celebrate those good ADD moments, too. :D

smoo

I understand your frustration Melly... :(

this remnds me of me son (he's 3). last night we overheard him when he was in bed. he was crying because we were making him go to bed and we weren't staying in there with him.

he cried, "i'm having a bad, bad, bad day."

so, you had a "bad, bad, bad, ADD moment."

you are not stupid. (i know this was a vent. but, still, negative thoughts sometimes spiral out of control .... )

take care melly. you are not alone. :*)

Thanks my moderator Buddies! I knew ya'll would understand. I appreciate it...Smooch I will take advice to heart....I am still waiting for the good ADD moment..sigh! I guess this post can be a good one....I am venting:D

I just wish I was not so afraid of the world cause I am ADHD. I am scared how am I going to survive in a world that demands perfection when we are all really far from perfect. :( My mother is only reason I have survived thus far..I don't know how to be on my own..how to act in society...MY God I can not even pay my own Bills! Urgh I need a drink.

Thanks wheezie...Negative thought created by negative life make for a very negative Person. But God and the forums Know I am trying to change and somedays I can be positive.just not today and proably wont be for a while...this has affected me more than usual proably cause I hurt a friend and it makes me question my self. Does this ever get easier?

melly,

you are being really hard on yourself. and actually, under the circumstances, a drink might be just the thing you need. maybe it'll helps slow down the self-recrimiations.

does anything else work when your brain won't slow down? how 'bout a run around the block, 100 jumping jacks, something active?

or, just keep venting and we'll keep listening....

Venting helps and also trying to think of other things...that part is easy...heh with ADD mind skips like a scratch on a record.

Mel, I have known you forever and a day and I got to tell you. YES you screwed up; but, so did your friend. There is an easy way to get rid of unwanted emails and instead he took the low road and made you feel bad knowing full well how his words would make you feel.

I have this crazy friend she told me once I'm my own toughest critic and that I needed to lighten up on myself. I wish SHE would take her own advice.

You took the first step in apologizing Mel and now it's up to him and I have seen him this way before and so have you. Once he calms down he will feel bad for hurting you.

Mel do not be afraid to join the rest of the world. I consider myself comic relief for the "norms". I mean can you imagine how stressful it must be to alway's strive for perfection?

mel I understand... I am really hard on myself too. Sometimes it seems like no matter what we do to try to fix a problem we just can't... and then people say we're blaming ADHD for everything and we start to feel like frauds!

It's alright, I feel for you! and you're right - God knows how hard you are trying :)

Geee Um Futs who is the wacky gal?

Thanks Christina,

You're right trying to make things right in our lives is like trying to fight back the ocean with a broom. I hate those who think we are just using ADD as an excuse..try living in our shoes once in a while!

Heh I just found out how worthless the Email was..this just makes it worse.:(

She's one of my dearest friend's and is not afraid to grab me by the shoulder's and shake me silly screaming "snap out of it already you big baby". Takes a real friend to do that for you. And I'm about to shake the liven daylight's out of her.

:D Oh you mean Me!!! OHH DID you ever accept my challenge 2 u in My Challenge to Mel...It's my turn Now dear!

NO I haven't read it; but, only just pulled my out of the sand a couple of hours ago. But, I never could resist a challenge

Hehe Me either:D I did not know you had a sandbox..jk!:p

The apology email did a world of good..he replied and said he totally forgives me and you were right futs he was just having a bad day....that makes me feel better about this mistake. even though I will have many more to come...it's enevitable being me.

It's enevitable being human Mel not just being you and it all comes to one thing....MOMMA IS ALWAY'S RIGHT!!!!!

Yes you were right...but still I had to post this cause last night had I not let it out...my bipolar would have took over and I would have...maybe punched a wall or some other kind of damnage to myself....Thanks be to God for the forums.

Originally posted by melanie_cartner
....Thanks be to God for the forums.

AMEN to that!!!!!! :D

smoo

:D Oh yes dunno what I would do without this place:D

Well, I for one do know

My house would be cleaner
My hair and makeup would be done
and I would die of boredom lol

But who need make up and good hair when you are as natually beautifuil as you :p

Melanie: Hope you are having some wonderful ADD moments today....and it was big of you to apologyze to your friend.....very humble act indeed.......AND

I would like to say that somebody being angry at US -- says more about THEM -- than the behavior we did to CAUSE the anger.....People do not HAVE to react with anger -- just because they might have been triggered.......

Heck he could have taken it with a grain of salt.....your very harmless mistake.....and let it glide off his shoulder......

Somebody getting angry is THEIR issue, not ours.......especially with minor crimes......as was the one you committed.......

And possibly you will commit many more minor crimes.....It's okay....You will learn something from all of them......after all....:)

Ty Joan I do my best to learn from my mistakes ...My add day is a lil annoying could not get my lamitcal today when i thought for sure mom would take me to the front to get it...but no dice either she is too tired after working all day or she not sure if she has the money...all this I understand and not begrudge my mom...but the part of not having control of a situation burns me up...the good ole impulsive ness of wanting done now..

My friend realized hew was wrong and he applogized and I forgave him and he forgave me..and I think a man who can admit he was wrong is a step up in the evolutionary ladder:D

Well you earned a step up in the evolutionary ladder too......ya know:) :).....by admitting your mistake......

Mutual apologies and mutual forgiveness are indeed signs of humbleness in a person and definitely growth and also indicates healthy relating between two people.....in my opinion.....

Darn....if I lived near you I would personally come pick you up and take you to get your lamictal......and help you pay for it too.....yup I would....I hope you are soon able to get your meds....I totallly understand about not having control of a situation......and I know how important meds are for those of us who are on medication regimens.....

Maybe your mom can get half of the prescription filled?? (if a matter of money....just a thought)......:)

Come on Down to Nawlins then..I'll help you pack! ;) :D :)

Funny you say that......I actually WAS in New Orleans once.....one of the few boyfriends that I have EVER had -- took me there many many years ago.....for a weekend.....I barely remember it.....but I do know we ate well........

Okay, well at least you'll have your meds on Monday.....not too bad......:) Until then, hang in there........:)

Hanging in this body...I have no choice...she did say maybe tommorrow thanks be to God drug store open on sunday too.

Would be cool if you could come back to Nawlins we are famous for our food:D

Cool......yup many drugstores thank God are open like from noon to four on Sundays.....:)

Me thinks Eckerd opens at 9am. HMMMMM. :D

In the past. (I hope!) I have forwarded some really stupid emails and felt stupid as a result. But I get some too, I surely don't respond with anger I just erase them. Maybe it's just me?geez, why be angry? One fellow was so mad that I sent him a joke because it was forwarded and not personal. It really hurt his feelings. Even after I explained, anyway that was a big red flag to stay away from him.
He didn't appologize. I have not been in touch with him since we hadn't been friends for long though. Luckily I can't think of a single friend that is that petti.
Janine

I know it's inane sometimes but what can ya do ya know.

we all get the stupid e-mails; we all just erase them. no need to go off the deep end about them. Mel, your friend was having a bad day, and needed someone to take it out on. It just happened to be you. Of course, you don't know if he received other e-mails he considered stupid from his other friends and reacted the same way - in which case he was being a jerk.

Our emotions are our own. How we choose to react to any given situation is on our heads, not the person's who triggered the reaction. So, stop beating yourself up. This too will pass. Promise.

Thanks Pembroke:D I just seem to be having more bad ADD days latley cause I am without medicine.