1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

1 0. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

LOL...well done.

lol I had to share that one called my sister, mom and showed my husband they all LOVED it and thought it hillarious.

It would be really cool if this thread were to turn into a collective wisdom thread whereby we could learn from others mistakes.

In that spirit, I offer the following things I have learned in the hopes that they will help someone else.

Usually, when someone says someone is intelligent, it means that the person they're referring to agrees with them. Rare is the person who can respect the intelligence of another person who disagrees with them.

If you find a person who is able to respect people with differing viewpoints, hold onto them like gold.

No one has ever really won an argument, but everyone thinks they did.

Women are crazy.

Men are crazy too, just in different ways.

Deal with it.

If it has 2 legs, or wheels, or electricity running through it, it WILL give you problems.

Computers are evil. And yet I still love them.

I loved this !!!

#12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. is my favorite. ;)

Something I learned a while back that came in handy today to keep me from rushing downtown to a job interview;

If they won't tell you exactly what the job entails, then the job sucks. It also means you can't believe anything else they tell you either.

Nobody hires people off the street for "management training positions". That's just the bait they're dangling in front of you to get you to do something you would otherwise never do (telemarket office products, fire extinguisher recharging, like that) for 6 weeks.

If they're charging you ANY amount of money to "process you", (background checks, etc.) then it's BOGUS. Don't do it. Think about it, if they were going to take the attitude that you have to pay for ALL the costs they incur in the process of hiring you, then logically, they should charge you for the interviewer's time, the cost of the paper you filled out your application on, etc., etc., etc.