... suck it up. I think that is wonderful advice. I decided to take it. If you really want out of your mess/rut, suck it up and do what you have to do. The meds only let you stay focused, they don't work/study/learn for you. I think I wasted too many days in self pity, depressed of how I will get out of this mess knowing I have this ADD crap.

You know what? I did well enough -- making above average -- on more than one exam last year to avoid repeating. There's no reason why I can't do it now. If I have to repeat, so what -- I'll just study for what's left of this year and come back to kick *** and take names. It will be hard, I will lose a lot of my income. My wife may have to move out of state back home to work full-time for a year while I'm in school. You have to do what you have to do.

After about two days of taking adderall and complaining that ADD sucks, I got off my *** and starting dealing with it. Maybe this is common, I don't know, but I am sick and damn tired of constantly underacheiving and being in messes like this. I have a lot of faculty/admin lobbying for an exception to standard policy to avoid making me retake the academic year if I fail the term, because of the condition and its late diagnosis, and that I chased another dx for so long. But you know what? They're not goin to do anything if I don't show them I am trying as hard as I can.

So now I have been waking up at 8AM, eating, showering, and going to the library. I take about an hour and a half for lunch. I stay until 10PM - 11PM. I eat a pot pie when I come home. I go to bed at 1AM.

You do what you have to do to get what you want. Life isn't fair sometimes. Even the smartest of us run into problems we have to deal with. Some people have to try a bit harder than others.

My advice? Suck it up.

I am not too sure what non-ADD believers have with trying as hard as you can. I am gathering the title is a "hook" to get people interested in the thread {which by the way is a pretty good strategy}

There are some who want to feel sorry for themselves but I think they are a minority here not a majority. Most people here came looking for suggestions and ideas on how they can improved their lives. Just think if no one believed that ADD existed you would not have had a place to post this. The label is what brought us all together on this site.

Telling some one to suck it up normally serves only to make one appear insensitive, Making suggestions and explaining how one over came various problems associated with ADD gives others who are struggling hope that difficult areas can be over come.

Another important message I got from being a member here is that it is okay not to be like every one else. I am responsible for my life and I must work, pay my bills, and shower just like the rest of the world but there is no law saying I have to accomplish these things in the same manner as non-ADDers.

I don't know other people's experiences. From what I have read, they seem to be mixed. I think it's really easy to allow the label of having add to actually make things worse. When you have an excuse it's easy to evoke it to justify not trying or doing what needs to be done.

Trust me, it's very very hard, and sometimes I still don't do what I want/need. For the first few days, if I didn't get anything done I blamed the medication not working. It wasn't, but that's no excuse. You just gotta do what you gotta do and make the best of it.

When you have an excuse it's easy to evoke it to justify not trying or doing what needs to be done.


invoking the label hmmm it sounds like invoking defrag on a computer.

Sorry but I have yet to meet a utility company, loan officer, or mortgage company that gives a hoot weather I have ADD, MPD,AIDES or a head cold they want their money period. Most of my family has ADD yet they all work, pay bills , even bathe.

So maybe it is my "experience" but I have not experienced ADD as being a viable excuse for any thing except maybe forgetting where I put my car keys and cell phone, even then I am the one expected to locate these items if I want to go any where or talk to any one on my phone.

Being a med student, myself, I understand where you're coming from in this post but you just gotta hang in there & do exactly what you described: give it all you have to give & be content with what happens. ADD doesn't suck, per se. Being in med school with ADHD certainly presents unique challenges for you, me, and the other ADHD med students out there. Yes, it probably is a hell of a lot easier for our non-ADHD classmates, but surely, they have their own struggles to face, no? Yes, we're accountable for our actions & although we can hypothetically blame our problems on our diagnosis, wouldn't we still be blaming ourselves but in a rather roundabout, cowardly way?

Having said that, don't be too hard on yourself for things you cannot change. Just think about how much you have achieved thus far even before the ADHD/OSA diagnosis was made. Now that you have this information and are seeking treatment, you'll be even more effective and better able to apply your obvious ingenuity and intellect. Give it your best shot in the remainder of the semester and don't be afraid to seek help from academic services/tutoring, friends, or even if it's your wife's support because it could make all the difference.

Looking at this objectively, even if after giving it your best shot, you are asked to repeat any coursework, all is not lost. Maybe taking some time to reconcile/accept that you have ADHD and figuring out ways to use it to your advantage or at least to compensate for your weakest areas would be beneficial? Maybe you could even figure out how you learn and how you can motivate yourself to do what you need to do.

At the end of the day, what matters is that you learn the material well enough to be an excellent physician. Harvey Cushing, the physician who pioneered the field of neurosurgery carved his path to excellence despite his dyslexia... Last year, a 4th year BLIND medical student graduate from an ACGME med school in California & is currently an intern... BLIND!

Forgive me for my fatal optimism, but we can overcome our ADHD challenges. Perhaps these experiences will even shape us into being better than we otherwise would be... Just know that you aren't alone, nor do you have to depend solely on yourself to solve whatever problems you face.

Argh... back to microbiology. Seriously, though, don't give up on yourself, and don't buy into the bull$ni+ "rugged individualism/elitism" that seems to pervade the medical field. We're human, too.

I don't know other people's experiences. From what I have read, they seem to be mixed. I think it's really easy to allow the label of having add to actually make things worse. When you have an excuse it's easy to evoke it to justify not trying or doing what needs to be done.

Trust me, it's very very hard, and sometimes I still don't do what I want/need. For the first few days, if I didn't get anything done I blamed the medication not working. It wasn't, but that's no excuse. You just gotta do what you gotta do and make the best of it.
I don't think most people go around saying "I have ADD - have a pity party for me!"

Most of us DO suck it up - we get treatment (usually meds) and move on with our lives; and the meds aren't a 'cure' for most of us - they're just there to remove the mental obstacles that make things more difficult for us so we can live normal-ish lives.

Besides, ADD is one of the most highly-stigmatized mental disorders there is. It's not like we WANT to draw any more attention to ourselves - it's not fun when people tell you that you that "ADD is fake" or that you're a "speed freak" because you take stimulants.:mad:

--- slight tangent ---


"Mountains cannot be surmounted except by winding paths." ~ Goethe

Suck it up.
Goethe is wrong if the shortest distance between foot and summit need be defined.
However Goethe is correct.

Sucking it up - is the equivalent of the individual reversing the trajetory defined by the non-metaphorically loving dissenters from Goethe's words.

-*-

'whoa!'
'omg!'
'wtf!'

- splat -

{end}

After reading most of the posts in this thread I will simple state once again

Recognition is the KEY

Once you recognise that you have a problem

Then its up to the individual to Deal With It...........


If the individual chooses to claim " Poor Me --- I have ADD " , to the world in hopes of the world heaping piles of sympathy on him/her .

Well dont hold your breath waiting for that to happen


If the individual chooses to claim " Well crap --- I have ADD " , to the himself/herself and then chooses to do whatever it takes to acomplish whatever it is that they want to do

Then there is a good chance that is what will happen........


I learned a long time ago that I can do anything I want

I just have to want to do it bad enough

( And right now I choose to drive a truck, listen to music all day long and get paid for touring all over the country side and enjoying the scenery ) ( Ill be 54 this December and If I retire at 60 , that gives me 6 years to think about


What I Want To Be When I grow Up (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=485678#post485678)

nicely put garry.
wow awesome driving a truck around the country..how awesome must that be!!

I am gathering the title is a "hook" to get people interested in the thread {which by the way is a pretty good strategy}
I love your astute observation, and I agree. I am not so impressed by the strategy of it though, because it is lumping all non-believers into one group. Many non-believers just cannot grasp the concept of any disorder or mental illness, and I am sure there are other reasons that some people don't believe as well. I dislike blanket categories.



There are some who want to feel sorry for themselves but I think they are a minority here not a majority. Most people here came looking for suggestions and ideas on how they can improved their lives. Just think if no one believed that ADD existed you would not have had a place to post this. The label is what brought us all together on this site.
And let's not forget the non-ADD support group either, to whom that "label" does not apply. I have great respect for the sympathetic NTs who welcome the advice offered by any human being at all, NT and AD/HD alike.

Hey, isn't a label something wrapped around the outside of a soup can, anyway? ;)

Telling some one to suck it up normally serves only to make one appear insensitive, Making suggestions and explaining how one over came various problems associated with ADD gives others who are struggling hope that difficult areas can be over come.
Thank goodness that most people here are not rude and offer up advice that is helpful, indeed.

Sometimes relating personal experiences is helpful and other times, it is not, IMNSHO.


When you have an excuse it's easy to evoke it to justify not trying or doing what needs to be done.

You are a medical student, and so far seem to be limiting yourself to the AD/HD sections. I am curious: Do you plan to branch out eventually and investigate the more common co-morbids?

As a person with one of the most common co-morbids of all, I have to say this in defense of the Cycling Team members:

Sometimes what appears to be an excuse is actually a reason, and it may be more than rude, it may be downright insulting, to have a legitimate reason classified as an excuse.


Sorry but I have yet to meet a utility company, loan officer, or mortgage company that gives a hoot weather I have ADD, MPD,AIDES or a head cold they want their money period. Most of my family has ADD yet they all work, pay bills , even bathe.

On the flip, it would be too simplistic to state that one MUST do anything. There are only 2 things that you must do: Keep your ancestry and die. You do not HAVE to pay taxes, you know, and that's usually the one matched to death. You may choose not to pay taxes, however, you then really have no right to cry when the law shows up at your door to lock you up.


Sucking it up - is the equivalent of the individual reversing the trajetory defined by the non-metaphorically loving dissenters from Goethe's words.


Very eloquent...my instinct was to go with something more like:

"Ninja, please!" ;-)





'whoa!'
'omg!'
'wtf!'

- splat -

Yep, uh huh.:D.

Hooah, I understand what you're saying. But at least you allowed yourself a Pity Party, you put on your Big Boy Panties, and you're dealing with ADD on your terms.

As for the non-believers...once they walk a mile in my Manolos, only then can they pass judgment. It's easy to spout crap when it doesn't affect them. My boss compared my ADD son to her pure-bred puppies. Excuse me? Yes, 7 yr-old kids are energetic as are puppies but there's a world of difference between $3K AKC dogs and raising a potential world leader. Sheesh!

On the flip, it would be too simplistic to state that one MUST do anything.

I didn't say one had to pay bills, work or even bathe, I am just saying most creditors want their money weather one has ADD or not and if ya stink most people will not want to be in the same room diagnosis not with standing.

As for the non-believers...once they walk a mile in my Manolos, only then can they pass judgment. It's easy to spout crap when it doesn't affect them.

or when they are in denial - many ADDers claim ADD doesn't exist so they do not have to cope with the idea of not being "normal".

Kitten Poker I know this is off topic (even though it validates ADHD and goes against the non believers having a "point") but that avatar is just hilarious

I change my avatar as often as I change my mind...or underpants! I love Lily and Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother."

OT, ADDers? Not us!

For the first 16 years of my life, I have been forgetful, restless, impulsive, disorganized ect.... AND I NEVER EVEN KNEW THAT ADHD EXISTED!



I never had any excuse for my problems, and I always blamed myself over and over again for my constant mistakes.



But then I learnt about ADHD, and my life changed, not just because of meds, and strategies, but because I knew that there was actually something wrong, and it wasn't just me!



ADHD cants be an excuse, because I had all these problems before I even knew what it was!



ADHD has in no way made things worse for me! Only better....



and I stand proud with my label.

nicely put garry.
wow awesome driving a truck around the country..how awesome must that be!!
Its got some good points but I will gladly trade you countrys to live in for the next 6 months

Driving Truck and winter are not a real fun combination

Forgive me for my fatal optimism, but we can overcome our ADHD challenges. Perhaps these experiences will even shape us into being better than we otherwise would be... Just know that you aren't alone, nor do you have to depend solely on yourself to solve whatever problems you face.

Well put. I applaud your optisim!

Nice one Fraser.

My thoughts exactly

kilt

Driving Truck and winter are not a real fun combination

In Canada I bet not. Here in Texas we don't have a winter we simply have summer and not summer.



ADHD cants be an excuse, because I had all these problems before I even knew what it was!


Most excellent point ya got going on here.

Argh... back to microbiology. Seriously, though, don't give up on yourself, and don't buy into the bull$ni+ "rugged individualism/elitism" that seems to pervade the medical field. We're human, too.I agree with you, but it is very difficult for me to accept that I'm having difficulties. I've always been, "the smart one", the "genius" as some misguided people would call me.

I know a couple ADD people here who are still doing OK despite it, even before treatment, but I have to realize they had the benefit of years of dealing directly with ADD and learned to cope. Mine has always been masked and in some way I can't quite discern, "altered" a bit by the problems posed from OSA. The ADD symptoms, while always there, were also always someone "dulled" (or maybe that was me?).

I don't know. I wish I found it earlier. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't something else ... I also wonder if I'm the only med student who studies physiology with a physics book :D

Sorry but just "sucking it up" doesn't work for everybody. Too much press actualy can shut down parts of the brain. The key finding ways to do things that actually work more on our strenghts than our weaknesses. We need to find "ADD Friendly" strategies. Yes there are some things that are boring and painful that we have to do but most of the time there are ways of getting things done that aren't as painful as they have to be.

I think most of us here are educated enough to know the difference between so called whining and really having to struggle with something. It's true that if we use ADHD an excuse not to get your life in order, than that 'suck it up' comment might be appropriate. But even still, it's not a very supportive or encouraging statement.

Well, I, for one, do not explicitly advertise my condition to the rest of the world (for many, it advertises itself). For most of us, I don't think one's impulse would be to use ADD as an excuse because we aren't looking for one to begin with. That's not to say that some people don't use it as a crutch or a way to get attention. But it cannot be accurately generalized that all people with (and occasionally advertising the presence of) ADD are individuals looking for a pity party.

The problem with excuses is that the majority of people seem to make them at some time or another. It's all about which ones are socially acceptable it seems like. Stating that one cannot do something or is performing poorly due to lack of intelligence is far more socially acceptable than "blaming" a disorder. I'm sure that excuse making is not by any means limited to those proclaiming medical conditions.

Ok, some very good thoughts here. I would like to say to most of us ADD is not an excuse, nor should it be. If your using ADD as an excuse your only feeding into the situation. You probably need to learn a more about your "excuse". Why do you us this as an excuse? Because "We see the world as we are, Not as it is." Through years of self doubt, failing to meet expectations, judgements, statements understandably makes you depressed, self hating or self bashing. Stating you have ADD is a cop out if you ask me. As a student your expected to make the grades. As an employee your expected to meet the days requirements. As a person in a relationship your expected to be there for support no matter what. Saying you have add is saying "oh well" or "I can't" Bull **** my friend. You need to understand your "REASON" for the things that you do. ADD has many benefits if you ask me. Being creative, forward thinking, intuative just to name a few. Suck it up? Maybe it's a good supportive statement to make in this case. Suck up that fact that your brain operates at a different level then others. Suck up the fact that you can't change having ADD. Deal with what your givin. It seems non-accepting or less knowledgeable ADD'ers will use it as an "excuse." While people who understand, accept and embrace it will find ADD as a "Reason." Be honest, in school and in society, who really cares if "YOU" have ADD? Frankly not a damn one, everyone has there own issues to deal with. You can continue your life blaming ADD for your problems, that's your choice. But to use it as a crutch because you have not taken it upon yourself to understand your own being is cowardly. Accept the fact it's real, accept the fact that it's you, accept the fact that no one will change it for you, they can't and they won't. By far the hardest thing i've ever done, was to honestly evaluate and critisize myself. It is all so easy to critizise others for there faults, but we are all so afraid of realizing our own.

excellent response merlin8015



------------------------------------------------------------
Slight change of subject, right off topic you know
------------------------------------------------------------

This is my opinion , but I do believe others might agree....


Your post would be easier to read if you could break it down into more bite size chunks..........

There is a thread somewhere where we discussed this many months ago but I have no idea where it is anymore




Ok, some very good thoughts here. I would like to say to most of us ADD is not an excuse, nor should it be. If your using ADD as an excuse your only feeding into the situation. You probably need to learn a more about your "excuse".

Why do you us this as an excuse?

Because "We see the world as we are, Not as it is." Through years of self doubt, failing to meet expectations, judgements, statements understandably makes you depressed, self hating or self bashing.

Stating you have ADD is a cop out if you ask me.

As a student your expected to make the grades. As an employee your expected to meet the days requirements. As a person in a relationship your expected to be there for support no matter what. Saying you have add is saying "oh well" or "I can't"

Bull **** my friend.

You need to understand your "REASON" for the things that you do. ADD has many benefits if you ask me. Being creative, forward thinking, intuative just to name a few.

Suck it up? Maybe it's a good supportive statement to make in this case. Suck up that fact that your brain operates at a different level then others. Suck up the fact that you can't change having ADD.
Deal with what your givin.

It seems non-accepting or less knowledgeable ADD'ers will use it as an "excuse." While people who understand, accept and embrace it will find ADD as a "Reason."

Be honest, in school and in society, who really cares if "YOU" have ADD? Frankly not a damn one, everyone has there own issues to deal with.

You can continue your life blaming ADD for your problems, that's your choice. But to use it as a crutch because you have not taken it upon yourself to understand your own being is cowardly.

Accept the fact it's real, accept the fact that it's you, accept the fact that no one will change it for you, they can't and they won't.

By far the hardest thing i've ever done, was to honestly evaluate and critisize myself. It is all so easy to critizise others for there faults, but we are all so afraid of realizing our own.

Garry:
I thank you for that. I was just writting my thoughts out and I didn't break it down. I don't post much but certain things I feel so inclinded to post to. So when i'm inspired I just run with it and post. I'll make it easier to read next time.

Gary is right it is easier for some of us to read if post are in "bite size pieces" = increases the chances of your post being read. After all you went through the trouble of writing them out others will probably gain from what you have to say.

Okay guys what were we talking about????

meadd scrolls to the top to remind herself which thread she is in . . . .

I think the ADD non-believers make a good point ...

I would also like to commend every one here on their ability to handle this subject in a mature adult way by tolerating those opinions which may differer from your own - This is a sign of security / to be able to handle this without getting all huffy. Not all groups would have done as well as this one has so far = thanks for that! :)

I think it's very easy to blame all our problems on ADD and use it as a crutch. It's important to remember that everyone has their own difficulties in life and ours is just ADD (if you want to call it a difficulty) Some things are harder for us and some things are easier, gotta work with your strengths and build on those weaknesses. I think it's very possible to be a 'successful' ADDer we might just have to put more into it.

I'm just talking generally so don't take what I said above personally anyone.

Most ADDers here seem to be very capable people. I think it's just important to understand the difference between blaming our shortcomings in life on ADD and understanding what strengths and weaknesses we have and working on them really hard to our advantage. It's the same for every other person on the planet, although we ADDers do have our unique type of 'difficulties' ;).

Hope that made sense :P

I think it's very easy to blame all our problems on ADD and use it as a crutch. It's important to remember that everyone has their own difficulties in life and ours is just ADD (if you want to call it a difficulty) Some things are harder for us and some things are easier, gotta work with your strengths and build on those weaknesses. I think it's very possible to be a 'successful' ADDer we might just have to put more into it. Sometimes instead of putting more into it and possibly trying to do things that we aren't suited to do, it might be better to get someone else to do things for us . It might mean paying some one to make sure your bills get paid , or that you remember to go shopping, or any one of a million different things that some of us cant trust that we will do..........

It might be better to put less effort into it and find a different way of accomplishing the same goal




I'm just talking generally so don't take what I said above personally anyone.

Most ADDers here seem to be very capable people. I think it's just important to understand the difference between blaming our shortcomings in life on ADD and understanding what strengths and weaknesses we have and working on them really hard to our advantage. It's the same for every other person on the planet, although we ADDers do have our unique type of 'difficulties' ;).

Hope that made sense :PI believe that all people are very capable, some are more capable at some things than others........

Some people are much more creative and artistic than other people who can always remember to pay their bills on time.....

It just so happens that some of the things that the Linear World put such a great importance to , aren't quite as important as they seem to think , at least not to all of the population....

Suck it up, eh? Well -- there was a time I might have bought that line, but not any more. While I believe the injunction to be "strong and courageous", "suck it up" tends to have a shaming, why aren't you trying harder type feel to it. Like Tara said, the harder you "try" as an ADDer the more the brain turns off. With ADD it's more important to try smarter (figuring out how you function best and what your limits are than to try harder). Sari Solden says, "ADDers are the hardest working lazy people that you ever met". I agree.

Recently I was asked to help a friend out with their work while they were gone on family business. I actually managed to elimate all the goofing off, TV and computer time, social engagements, etc., and I still couldn't keep up with what most would consider a "normal" amount of work even though I would go from 6 AM to 1 PM at full speed (admittedly in my case not as fast as I would wish). Nobody can go at that level for long, so telling ADDers to just quit whining isn't helpful. Figuring out where an ADDer's strength's lie and what their realistic limits are is a lot more helpful!:soapbox: (Okay -- so I was feeling a big soap boxy today!).

The problem with excuses is that the majority of people seem to make them at some time or another. It's all about which ones are socially acceptable it seems like. Stating that one cannot do something or is performing poorly due to lack of intelligence is far more socially acceptable than "blaming" a disorder. I'm sure that excuse making is not by any means limited to those proclaiming medical conditions.I agree.

What's always interesting to me is the same people who've told me I should "suck it up" when I'm feeling overwhelmed are the same people who're incapable of sucking it up in their own lives if something bad happens to them.

When I heard their complaints, I'd remind them of their comments and how they were incapable of following the same "advice" they gave me, which really made them upset for some reason.

They'd tell me how their issue was different than mine (actually, it always seemed to be less than whatever they berated me about), but in reality it wasn't any different...except that it was happening to them.

To coin a phrase, a lot of people tend to force-feed others their cooking without eating it themselves. ;)

The best thread I can remember seeing on these forums which dealt with ADD accountability was the one from an"Old ADD Warrior": http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1386&highlight=stages

After reading this I ran into a couple of other post - I like show and tell best don't you all?


I find that non-believers tend to be viewed in this manner (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43597) I think many of us have been coping as best we could for years as described here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=487406#post487406) and then again we have to put up with this crap (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27237) from the outside world while also having to deal with these accusations (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44084) from those who are supposed to understand. Many here do agree with taking responsibility as described in this post (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1386)

This is (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=486159&postcount=8) basically what I think about this entire subject.

btw - no I don't think ADD non-believers have a point, I have personally found out a majority don't even know enough about ADD to actually make one.

This concludes my show and tell, thanks so much for listening.