View Full Version : kinda want some help with this

10-15-07, 09:08 AM
My older brother Ngatoka, he is 21 has really really bad depression. He used to be really outgoing and a nice guy. Three years ago my mum died in a car crash. My bro and her were really close, closer than anyone else in the family. I hardly ever see him in a happy mood anymore. He gets really angry as well and violent.
A couple of weeks ago I found a suicide note in his room. I went in there to find my rugby ball. I confronted him about it and he kind of shrugged it off. I have been watching him alot lately. Im scared he is going to do something stupid. I dont have a close relationship with him at all. As mean as it might sound, its way easier to just ignore him than risk getting yelled at or hit.
would love some input and advice..

10-15-07, 09:39 AM
sorry MB..I'm crap at this stuff..but someone here will help..

10-15-07, 11:41 AM
just keep being there for him till he understands you love him is all you can do

Matt S.
10-15-07, 01:35 PM
You know your brother right?, you need to find out what it is he really is looking for, Help, attention, whatever it is this sounds serious. I don't think it is something you should shrug off or ignore and if you can, find a way to bring it to someones attention. Try to encourage him to see a doctor. He would probably benefit from medication and therapy judging from what you have told me, if he attempts anything in front of you call an emergency number (911 here in the US) and have him put in the hospital, I assume the laws around hospitalizing someone who is attempting suicide is the same there as it is here. Another program that may help him is something called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Either way, this is serious

10-15-07, 07:45 PM
I know my brother and there is no way that he would go out there and get help ay. He'd say that thats for pussys. Or he'd say something like well i better just up pot smoking or drinking or something. I dont know about laws here to do with suicide. i just know that maori have the highest rates of suicide in new zealand and new zealand has the highest suicide rate in the world.
it is really serious. i know 3 guys that i went to school with that killed themselves. its frgn aweful!!

10-15-07, 08:02 PM
Maori, here in the states we have volunteers who man the phones at the Suicide Hot Lines. Do you have anything like that there? They are listed in our phone books right in the front. You may be able to find something in your local internet listings too. Do this now. If you can find something like this call them and tell them what you told us, and they will tell you what you can do there, how to best handle this.

Please, take this very seriously and very urgently.

10-15-07, 09:42 PM
yea we hav some phone lines. il look em up and give them a call.
thanks for the help ay.

10-15-07, 11:55 PM
good luck..

10-16-07, 01:32 AM
Trauma therapy can help.

10-16-07, 08:02 AM
i rang, they sugested that he sees a counsellor. the call went thru to auckland tho. They also said to talk to him and ask if he wants to talk about his problems. They said to bring it up to my dad but thats out of the question. My dad wouldnt encourage him, just heckle him and tell him to toughfen up or else he'll toughfen him up. Im not really sure what to do. il be moving away soon. im not sure what will happen. i think him and his girlfriend are nearly thru as well.
he's in his room right now, stoned off his face.