View Full Version : Suicide


Revz
10-21-07, 09:47 PM
they say its just a "pernament fix to a temporary problem" but man im ADHD and very high anxiety and have lots of depression sometimes.. i feel almost robotic most of the time beccause of my meds.. and these are not temporary problems.. these are forever problems.. sometimes i just want to die JUST SO I CAN STOP THINKING!!!!! UGH!!!!

dont worry i dont actualy plan on doing anything. just venting i guess... w/e

randomthoughts
10-21-07, 09:53 PM
what exactly are you taking? sounds like u need to look into manic-depression (bipolar) if u havent already...

FallenAsh
10-22-07, 12:10 AM
Hi Revz, I too have depression, anxiety along well as post traumatic stress disorder and it is really hard to cope some days more than others. Do you have a therapist or psychologist/psychiatrist you can talk to?

I am currently taking 45mg Avanza (Mirtazapine) and it seems to be levelling the depression out to a certain extent. Was taking Seroquel as well to help with anxiety but have been weaned off that now.

As for the anxiety part, I have taken up going to the gym to release the tension caused by it and to have the 'feel good' endorphins kick in for a natural boost.

I used to be housebound because of my anxiety and even when that had happened, I was advised by my doctor to walk around the house for as long as it took until the anxiety diminished.

What anxiety does is gives adrenalin rushes and your body and mind is psyched up, making you feel tense, stressed and more anxious.

Your body needs to get rid of that excess adrenalin, so exercising it away, makes the anxiety and stress lessen and rids your body of the fight/flight response.

Depression and anxiety can be managed, but it is tricky to balance everything out, which for me, is why having a good counsellor/therapist/psych/pdoc is essential.

You probably already know all of that so I'll shut up now, but hope I have helped a little.........:soapbox:

QueensU_girl
10-22-07, 02:50 AM
re: 1

Do you have any health insurance, RevZ?

MaNaeSWolf
10-22-07, 05:29 AM
sometimes i just want to die JUST SO I CAN STOP THINKING!!!!! UGH!!!!
I sometimes think thinking is our gift as much as our curse.

I always manage to think myself into a depression, but have now thought of ways to avoid doing that.I still get depressed at times, but I now avoid all the suicidal thoughts.
I think the secret is to learn to channel your thoughts in a positave way.
Not easy if your ADHD I know, but just an idea. It is "sort of" what I have been trying to do.

~boots~
10-22-07, 09:25 AM
I think maybe you should talk to your doc and cut down or change your meds...

Matt S.
10-22-07, 10:08 AM
Revz maybe you should look into a DBT program...

EYEFORGOT
10-22-07, 12:42 PM
What is a DBT program?

Matt S.
10-22-07, 12:45 PM
Dialectical behavioral therapy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

<!-- start content -->Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is a psychosocial treatment developed by Marsha M. Linehan specifically to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder. While DBT was designed for individuals with borderline personality disorder, it is used for patients with other diagnoses as well.

The treatment itself is based largely in behaviorist theory with some cognitive therapy elements as well. Unlike cognitive therapy it incorporates mindfulness practice as a central component of the therapy.

There are two essential parts of the treatment, and without either of these parts the therapy is not considered "DBT adherent."

1. An individual component in which the therapist and client discuss issues that come up during the week, recorded on diary cards and follow a treatment target hierarchy. Self-injurious and suicidal behaviors take first priority, followed by therapy interfering behaviors. Then there are quality of life issues and finally working towards improving one's life generally. During the individual therapy, the therapist and client work towards improving skill use. Often, skills group is discussed and obstacles to acting skillfully are addressed.

2. The group, which ordinarily meets once weekly for about 2-2.5 hours, in which clients learn to use specific skills that are broken down into 4 modules: core mindfulness skills, emotion regulation skills, interpersonal effectiveness skills and distress tolerance skills.


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Philosophical underpinnings

Biosocial theory

"DBT is based on a biosocial theory of personality functioning in which BPD is seen as a biological disorder of emotional regulation. The disorder is characterized by heightened sensitivity to emotion, increased emotional intensity and a slow return to emotional baseline. Characteristic behaviors and emotional experiences associated with BPD theoretically result from the expression of this biological dysfunction in a social environment experienced as invalidating by the borderline patient."



Cognitive behavioural therapy

"One of DBT's several elements is cognitive– behavioural therapy (CBT). DBT espouses the scientific ethos. It makes use of self-monitoring, there is an emphasis on the here and now and much of the therapeutic technique is borrowed from CBT, including the style of open and explicit collaboration between patient and therapist. Furthermore, the treatment has a manual. The ‘bible’ of DBT is Linehan's Cognitive Behavior Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (1993a). (She says that her publisher insisted on ‘cognitive behavior treatment’ because they felt that a title including the word dialectical was less likely to sell well, particularly in the USA.) "



Zen
"DBT utilizes Zen concepts as a basis to encourage patients to be mindful in the current moment, see reality without delusion, and accept reality and themselves without judgment. This skill, which has its roots in Western contemplative and Eastern meditative practices, is called mindfulness."



The Dialectic

"As a world view... dialectics anchors the treatment within other perspectives that emphasize: 1. the holistic, systemic and interrelated nature of human functioning and reality as a whole (asking always "what is being left out of our understanding here?"); 2. searching for synthesis and balance, (to replace the rigid, often extreme, and dichotomous responses characteristic of severely dysfunctional individuals); 3. enhancing comfort with ambiguity and change which are viewed as inevitable aspects of life."



The four modules

The purpose of the DBT skills in all four skill sets is to help the client get into a state of mind referred to in DBT as wise mind. Wise mind is the middle ground in the dialectic between rational mind and emotional mind. To be too far on the side of rational mind would mean focusing only things such as facts and figures; ignoring and suppressing emotion. To be too far on the side of emotional mind would mean being so blinded by strong emotions that one would not be able to consider the facts.



Mindfulness

The essential part of all skills taught in skills group are the core mindfulness skills.



Observe, describe, and participate are the core mindfulness what skills. They answer the question, "What do I do to practice core mindfulness skills?"
Non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively are the how skills and answer the question, "How do I practice core mindfulness skills?"
Mindfulness comes from the Buddhist tradition and can be read about in more detail in the book The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh (among others).



Interpersonal effectiveness

Interpersonal response patterns taught in DBT skills training are very similar to those taught in many assertiveness and interpersonal problem-solving classes. They include effective strategies for asking for what one needs, saying no, and coping with interpersonal conflict.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder frequently possess good interpersonal skills in a general sense. The problems arise in the application of these skills to specific situations. An individual may be able to describe effective behavioral sequences when discussing another person encountering a problematic situation, but may be completely incapable of generating or carrying out a similar behavioral sequence when analyzing his/her own situation.

This module focuses on situations where the objective is to change something (e.g., requesting someone to do something) or to resist changes someone else is trying to make (e.g., saying no). The skills taught are intended to maximize the chances that a person’s goals in a specific situation will be met, while at the same time not damaging either the relationship or the person’s self-respect.



Distress tolerance

Most approaches to mental health treatment focus on changing distressing events and circumstances. They have paid little attention to accepting, finding meaning for, and tolerating distress. This task has generally been tackled by religious and spiritual communities and leaders. Dialectical behavioral therapy emphasizes learning to bear pain skillfully.

Distress tolerance skills constitute a natural development from mindfulness skills. They have to do with the ability to accept, in a non-evaluative and nonjudgmental fashion, both oneself and the current situation. Although the stance advocated here is a nonjudgmental one, this does not mean that it is one of approval: acceptance of reality is not approval of reality.

Distress tolerance behaviors are concerned with tolerating and surviving crises and with accepting life as it is in the moment. Four sets of crisis survival strategies are taught: distracting, self-soothing, improving the moment, and thinking of pros and cons. Acceptance skills include radical acceptance, turning the mind toward acceptance, and willingness versus willfulness.



Emotion regulation

Individuals with borderline personality disorder and suicidal individuals are frequently emotionally intense and labile. They can be angry, intensely frustrated, depressed, or anxious. This suggests that these clients might benefit from help in learning to regulate their emotions. Dialectical behavioral therapy skills for emotion regulation include:


Identifying and labeling emotions
Identifying obstacles to changing emotions
Reducing vulnerability to emotion mind
Increasing positive emotional events
Increasing mindfulness to current emotions
Taking opposite action
Applying distress tolerance techniques

QueensU_girl
10-22-07, 01:49 PM
I think it is important to start noticing the triggers and trends involved in your feeling suicidal. :)

e.g. "being around my critical parent or boss helps make me feel self destructive or suicidal".

NB DBT works for many things.

At Heart
10-22-07, 05:04 PM
Hey there Revz,

I have seen you around the forums, and it is nice to know that you feel safe venting here, however I would say it might be great if you would talk with your doctor (or therapist) about these thoughts. I hope you have lots of supportive people in your life. Perhaps those "forever" problems can be addressed by your doctor, because if your meds are working correctly, you should not be having these problems (at least not to the degree that you are having).

Please keep us posted.

Skully
10-22-07, 09:20 PM
I hope today was a better day for you. Have you seen a psychiatrist to rule out other mood disorders such as bipolar? ADHD and bipolar go hand in hand for some. If you have bipolar II and are taking an antidepressant, the depression can actually get worse. Please make sure you have confidence in you doctor and trust his diagnosis. If you feel you are slipping further into depression, see your psychiatrist as soon as you possibily can. If you do not have that option, call the crisis line for your local treatment center.

sloppitty-sue
10-24-07, 06:20 PM
Hi Revz,

In the hopes that this might make you feel at least a SMIDGE better, I will disclose that I also have been going through a spell of major depression. I was advised that an intensive outpatient program at the local hospital would be a useful place for me to go. However - my experience was that it made things so much more stressful for me - a single mom - that I couldn't continue with it. (And I was extremely UNIMPRESSED with "the program.")

Just sharing in case you TOO find "recommended treatments" more harmful than helpful. Don't despair! Not all "highly recommended treatments" are for everyone.

I want to invite you to p.m. me anytime if you'd like to talk privately. However, be WARNED that I have offered this to another friend on here (please forgive me 4GotAgain) and have not been very good at getting back to her. I will very much TRY though. You might know how hard it is to keep promises at this time.

Please don't kill yourself or hurt yourself. My oldest child's father did commit suicide, and NOW that I've known first hand what it feels like for the person's family & friends - I have promised myself I will NOT leave that legacy to my children. PLEASE DON'T CONSIDER THAT IDEA too much.

Sincerely,
Sue

MrBean
11-16-07, 11:06 PM
I myself have seriously contemplated suicide. However, I have never tried to kill myself before because I knew I would go to hell. Sometimes when you try to do it you end up getting brain damage instead. What I really feel depressed about is that I have a long way to go before I can complete my bachelor's degree. Something will work out for you just hang in there.

QueensU_girl
11-17-07, 12:11 AM
re: 14

What do they say in AA, etc?


"One day at a time"?

Course by course, you'll get a BA/BS degree done.

4gotAgain
12-05-07, 08:51 PM
i know the feeling Revz, going through much the same thing as you. Maybe you should go see the doctor. I need to as well. I'm scared to though.
Hope your ok.

Melissa_17
01-01-08, 10:50 PM
a "permanent fix to a temporary problem"





uggggh...I HATE bumpersticker advice.