Shae
10-23-07, 10:14 AM
Hello everyone,
Im new so I figured I would introduce myself and say Hello. I have been reading over the threads here and am very pleased that I seem to have found a place where I can talk about my hectic life with an ADD/ADHD family without being looked at like Im crazy!
I am married to a man with ADD, we have a 12 year old girl with ADHD and two ADD dogs (Jack Russells) so needless to say... I never have a full conversation with anyone in my household. To make matters worse, my husband is a firefighter who is on shift every other day for 24 hours at a time. So, every other day its single mother day. Yay!
My daughter is having terrible issues with school. She is on medication and it seems to work, I can tell the moment it wears off. She simply refuses to do her work. I litterally have to follow behind her every move to make sure she has done her work. Sometimes her teachers fail to put their assignments on their websites, so I do not know that she is supposed to do them which means, they don't get completed. If my daughter doesn't have someone holding her hand walking her through step by step she will not do anything.
We are starting the second quarter (second week in) for her 6th grade year. She failed 6 of her 8 classes the first quarter despite my best efforts to aid her in every way possible. Since the start of the second quarter she has had to sit at the "homework" table during lunch four times because she sneaks little things past me. Little things that arent listed on the teachers websites so I do not know they are assigned. I try my best to be involved at the school, I am there basically every day during my lunch hour. And every day, I leave there feeling terrible because the teachers look at me like I am the problem. I do try my very best, the only thing I am not doing is going to the school every afternoon to visit each teacher to get a list of her assignments.
My daughter lies constantly, about everything. Even silly things that wouldn't get her in trouble. "Please remember to put the top back on the milk when you are finished with it." "I didn't touch the milk!" As she sits at the table with a bowl of Cheerios.
Like a lot of mothers here mornings are insane in my house. The house wakes up at 4:30 am, it is a battle all the way to the door. I can take a shower, get dressed, make up, hair, make breakfast, take the dogs out and feed them before she even puts her pants on. Every single morning I walk into her room and shes sitting there daydreaming. Not sleepy, our house goes to sleep early because of our schedule, just staring off into no where. "Please put on your shirt." "Please put on your pants." "Please brush your hair." Please Please Please all the way to the door.
She is a very polite and respectful child though. She doesn't scream or bounce off the walls. She doesn't back talk or throw tantrums. She never answers a question with "yeah" like so many other children her age do now a days. Yes Maam and Yes Sir to any adult all the time. She just has zero focus and zero desire to do anything.
She is going to end up failing the 6th grade and have to revisit it again next year if I do not find a solution to the lies and her lack of desire to do anything in the classroom. Homework is only 10% of her grade, I am not in a position to sit in the classroom with her. I try to encourage her the best I can and try to remember not to talk down to her. I do address her short comings but I do not hover over them, I do however praise her when she has done a good job and we make big deals in our house over good things.
We all know children do not come with handbooks, and I certainly never expected to be dealt the deal I have with ADHD but I thought we would be okay. I am a very strong person and always have been. I thought I would be enough to carry her through this, I thought I would be able to help her. But, I am not helping her. She is failing and I am failing. No matter which way it is sliced. I feel terrible about it.
Every night I go to sleep praying that the next morning she will get dressed all by herself without having to be pressured by me. Every morning it's the same thing.
It's tough being a parent isn't it? :)
Now that I have written a book I'll hush. Thanks for reading. I hope to make some new friends here! Conversation would be wonderful!
Im new so I figured I would introduce myself and say Hello. I have been reading over the threads here and am very pleased that I seem to have found a place where I can talk about my hectic life with an ADD/ADHD family without being looked at like Im crazy!
I am married to a man with ADD, we have a 12 year old girl with ADHD and two ADD dogs (Jack Russells) so needless to say... I never have a full conversation with anyone in my household. To make matters worse, my husband is a firefighter who is on shift every other day for 24 hours at a time. So, every other day its single mother day. Yay!
My daughter is having terrible issues with school. She is on medication and it seems to work, I can tell the moment it wears off. She simply refuses to do her work. I litterally have to follow behind her every move to make sure she has done her work. Sometimes her teachers fail to put their assignments on their websites, so I do not know that she is supposed to do them which means, they don't get completed. If my daughter doesn't have someone holding her hand walking her through step by step she will not do anything.
We are starting the second quarter (second week in) for her 6th grade year. She failed 6 of her 8 classes the first quarter despite my best efforts to aid her in every way possible. Since the start of the second quarter she has had to sit at the "homework" table during lunch four times because she sneaks little things past me. Little things that arent listed on the teachers websites so I do not know they are assigned. I try my best to be involved at the school, I am there basically every day during my lunch hour. And every day, I leave there feeling terrible because the teachers look at me like I am the problem. I do try my very best, the only thing I am not doing is going to the school every afternoon to visit each teacher to get a list of her assignments.
My daughter lies constantly, about everything. Even silly things that wouldn't get her in trouble. "Please remember to put the top back on the milk when you are finished with it." "I didn't touch the milk!" As she sits at the table with a bowl of Cheerios.
Like a lot of mothers here mornings are insane in my house. The house wakes up at 4:30 am, it is a battle all the way to the door. I can take a shower, get dressed, make up, hair, make breakfast, take the dogs out and feed them before she even puts her pants on. Every single morning I walk into her room and shes sitting there daydreaming. Not sleepy, our house goes to sleep early because of our schedule, just staring off into no where. "Please put on your shirt." "Please put on your pants." "Please brush your hair." Please Please Please all the way to the door.
She is a very polite and respectful child though. She doesn't scream or bounce off the walls. She doesn't back talk or throw tantrums. She never answers a question with "yeah" like so many other children her age do now a days. Yes Maam and Yes Sir to any adult all the time. She just has zero focus and zero desire to do anything.
She is going to end up failing the 6th grade and have to revisit it again next year if I do not find a solution to the lies and her lack of desire to do anything in the classroom. Homework is only 10% of her grade, I am not in a position to sit in the classroom with her. I try to encourage her the best I can and try to remember not to talk down to her. I do address her short comings but I do not hover over them, I do however praise her when she has done a good job and we make big deals in our house over good things.
We all know children do not come with handbooks, and I certainly never expected to be dealt the deal I have with ADHD but I thought we would be okay. I am a very strong person and always have been. I thought I would be enough to carry her through this, I thought I would be able to help her. But, I am not helping her. She is failing and I am failing. No matter which way it is sliced. I feel terrible about it.
Every night I go to sleep praying that the next morning she will get dressed all by herself without having to be pressured by me. Every morning it's the same thing.
It's tough being a parent isn't it? :)
Now that I have written a book I'll hush. Thanks for reading. I hope to make some new friends here! Conversation would be wonderful!