My son who is 9 and has ADD has this fasination with fire. The first time i caught him with a lighter and trying to start him toy on fire i told him "that fire is extremely dangerous and that he could burn thehouse down or hurt someone, and told him that he should never play with fire, matches etc.. He has had 3 feild trip to the fire station from school and has talked to a fireman about this to. So i thought that he understood. I have lighters only to light candles, I took them away and hid them to where he would not find them. But just last night I saw him looking for soomething. I asked him what he was lookingfor he said "A lighter". I really didn't give it a thought at first since I hid them. But theni asked went to his room and asked him why he was looking for a lighter and what he needed it for. He stated that he was looking for one to light his wooden toy on fire. WHich really scares me even more knowing that he knows better and yet he still wants to start fires. I don't want to leave him alone anymore afraid what else is he going to do. I just don't know what else to do. It just seems like it doesn't matter how many times i talk to him about fire he just won't quit. If anyone has any ideas or advice I would really appreciate any help.

Thanks:eek: :(

hmm... Show him the news maybe?

It is a very scary thing to have to deal with. A child his age burned down a house and killed 8 or 9 people a few weeks ago. My husbands mother is always making jokes about how she always caught him trying to set things on fire. He was always the one creating the fire so it's a big joke that he became a firefighter. I, like you do not find humor in it. I think their family got lucky.

I am sorry that I have no real advise for you.

I think this is something that you could talk with his doctor about. Perhaps he needs to have an adult besides you talk with him about the dangers of fire. Not only that, he needs to be shown what the dangers of fire are. Perhaps you could ask the doctor what would be appropriate to show your son. If I ever saw a burn victim as a child, I am pretty sure it would scar me for life (because even as an adult I don't like to see it).

I agree with showing him the news - except that the pictures are vivid, and only those of us who understand what fire can do to a person (not just trees and buildings) can really understand the horror of fire.

I wish you luck,

At Heart

Fit smoke alarms.....then if/when he does it again the earsplitting alarm will not be what he expects.

Who knows what goes through a kids mind. Most yungsters are fasciated by fire, comes from deep in our psyche. In some ways lighters are almost to safe.....most kids learn that fire hurts by holding on to a match too long.

There have been some pretty hard hitting ad campaigns over here...maybe there's something in showing /discussing one of those.

Its not just kids either.....the senior Scottish politician Lord Watson was convicted of wilful fireraising after setting fire to the curtains in a hotel late one night following the "Scottish politician of the year awards dinner. He was minister for culture tourism and Sport but was unforthcoming on his reasons for attempting to burn down one of Edinburgh's top hotels while it was full of political journalists.

Unsurprisingly he was not involved in the following years event as he was sentenced to 16 months imprisonment.

kilt

My husband was away on a trip so I kept forgetting to ask his thoughts on the matter. But! He came home last night and he said:

It's just little boys. He says that mom's bring their little boys to the firestation ALL the time because they are freaked out and ask the firefighters to help them explain to their children how dangerous it is.

He also said that he would grow out of it and if he didnt he would end up being a firefighter. (haha)

So, after I fussed at him for not offering a sloution I got:

Make sure you have smoke detectors and that the batteries are good in them.

Try your best to keep lighters/matches away from him. And make sure you search his room (between the matress and box springs under dressers) to be certain he hasnt gotten anything from a friends house.

Contiune to educate him on the dangers of fire but at the same time do not be over bearing about it. If you make it a big deal they just get more curious.

And most important:

Make sure you have a plan of action in case of a fire. Do fire drills in your house and make sure your child knows what to do in case he finds himself alone in a fire.

My suggestion: Go buy some of those little red things. It seems in your case they arent just for the kitchen anymore!


Hope that helps!

Although it is rather traumatic and I wouldn't recommend it unless nothing else works, I had the firestarting thing for years as a child and what stopped me from that whole fixation was pictures of people right after they had third degree burns, that was scary enough for me to stop, but I had nightmares of those pictures afterward for awhile so the trauma aspect of it makes it highly unrecommended unless it gets too dangerous and nothing works.

My son too had issues with playing with fire. You may consider me to be a bad mom but I did show him pictures of burn victims. I also told him of how I lost my Aunt and 2 baby cousins in a house fire. That and the fact that he got caught with some older kids who were trying to set the woods on fire. Fire dept. came out and everything. That was a year ago and we have not had a problem since.