hi to you all i wrote here a while back about my son hes almost 3 years old now he hasnt been diagnosed with adhd or add "just" challenging behaviour maybe adhd in future i dont really care about the title i just want and need pratical tips on how to help him at the moment we give him zinc suppliments because he has pica and we give him eyeq (omega 3) we watch carefull what he eats and drinks but i feel like were getting no where i am so worn out i let him get away with murder if i told him of for all he done the disapline would last 16 hours aday i get no help my hubby works long hours my parents just say no no no i couldnt cope with him i havent a break in 3 years not even 1 night or day hes a very bright little boy who loves to climb the gate the stairs the worktops the tv cabnet we have had so many a and e trips its a constant battle to keep him safe and to stop him hurting my 8 year old son. i called social services for help and they wont cause hes not in danger or myself putting hiself in danger dont seem to matter to them we have bars at our upstairs windows and have made so many changes to our home to try and keep him safe i dont know whatelse to do my gp is a waste of time as she once told him to sit in the chair when he did she patronized me and said he just done as i asked i walked out said thank you cause she had cured him of all problems please give me some advise we live in the uk he does go to nursery they havent got any problems with him there so maybe the problem is me so all parenting tips will be welcome i do have 2 older boys who i didnt need help with who i classed as total typicial kids i first got my suspisions when he was about 4 months old he was so advanced for his age walking and talking at about 1 year but that wasnt good enough for my little man he has to run jump
many thanks

Hi deedee. Mother to three here, two boys, one eight and one three. First, your GP was a jerk. Find a new doctor if possible. One action determines nothing. Plus, you have experience with two other kids. You're not a new nervous ninny mum. My first boy is extremely bright and has ADD qualities. He was hell from three to four and half, but oh so good in nursery school. He let it all out at home. Which is good in some ways, shows he's able to trust his parents but hell on us as their parents. Our paeditrician recommended reading 1-2-3 Magic (http://www.parentmagic.com/) and The Spirited Child. Magic is the word. It's tough on everybody at first but we applied it consistently and it works. We were able to enjoy our firstborn again. We've used it for our littlest - an active climber and explorer with a stated deconstructionist bent - and it has worked for him. I think it would help any parent but moreso those with kids who need extra help to develop their own internal controls.

You might also check out the teachers thread here. There are some good ideas for handling problematic behaviours whether due to ADD or not.

I wish I could help but I dont know what to tell you. For me ADHD is a normal part of life. My older brother had it and was untreated. He was and still is very hyperactive and always seems to get in trouble or in a bind. My oldest child has ADHD but did not get on meds for it until 2nd grade(he is now in 5th). I had issues with him from the time he was a newborn, I knew he was ADHD even at that young of an age. I suspect my youngest(3 years old) has it(I will not get him diagnosed or put him on meds until he is in school) and I also suspect I have it but not in the hyperactive form. So for me I am used to dealing with issues related to it that and the fact that my ADD makes it easy for me to "tune-out" at times. Very normal for me. Only thing I can tell you is just try not to stress to much on the small things, be patiant and love your child. Accept him for who he is. And be FIRM. Try using a "naughty" place or "time-out". Also keep in mind that children, all children, will get hurt from time to time. No parent can protect their child ALL the time. Just do the best you can and try not to feel guilty when he does get hurt. Also as weird as this sounds, have you tried giving your son coffee? For some reason it calms children down with ADHD. It works for my brother and for my son. He was first given coffee at around 3 years old. I would also find him a new doctor. Try a Pedi. They deal with ADHD kids often. You always, always, should have a Doctor that will truly listen to you and what you think. You should also try and learn as much as you can about ADHD and a spirited child. And just so you know I also have 2 other kids that do not have ADHD, so I know its not me or my parenting skills. IN other words I am not just another mom who cant handle her kids and neither are you. Dont even let someone make you think that. Hope that helps some or at least helps you know you are not alone.
Sky