View Full Version : 1st Meeting w/Doc Friday
03-25-03, 09:08 PM
I met w/a psychologist on Monday about ADD and he said I should also see a psychiatrist about the possibilty of bipolar. UGH! So, I got an appt for this Friday.
Any thoughts if you were going to see your shrink for the first time again? What to bring? Preparation?
Bring yourself and your life experiences. A more accurate diagnosis will come from a full recounting of who you are, what you experience, as well as any issues, problems and frustrations you're dealing with.
Let us know how it goes!
03-25-03, 11:55 PM
I agree. When I met with the psycholgist Monday I was in a down mood and had a hard time, as I usually do, communicating the other side of things...the UP periods. So, I felt I wasn't fully understood and fear that happening Friday but having the psychiatrist give me a diagnosis and some meds. This happened 12 years ago and I was given Lithium which did nada. I then went to Europe and couldn't sleep for 5 days and had a sort of weird thing happen when I was sleeping one night. I felt like I was being held down by some "being" making it impossible to move my arms or legs...I was trapped. It seemed so real to me, like I was possess or something. Could have been the lithium or the sleep deprivation.
03-26-03, 04:12 PM
One of the issues with Bipolar Disorder is sleep and the need for little or insomnia. Certain meds can trigger a manic state, especially if too high a dose. Paxil sent me into a hypomanic state ( I have to say I love my mania, I dont get delusional I get sparkly, funny, high energy etc.......but I digress) I was doing 24 hours without sleep on a regular basis. I have a hard time waking up, and it takes me an hour to be functional.
I suggest you keep an honest journal for a while, if not for the doctor then for yourself. It helps to see if any pattern or cycle is evident
03-26-03, 06:21 PM
Here is a recent journal sample of my mind w/o sleep;
Context: Saturday night; alone
I know this is a little personal, but I feel free to be honest here. I know everyone has an inner life--we usually conect through music, poem, or movie, but I am going to be vulnerable here. Heck, this is only one evening of mind drift!
Can anybody relate to this "up state"?
"...I was lying in bed tonight feeling an awful dread. I was anxious and sad. First off its Saturday night and I'm all alone…again. I saw a show on WWII and the horror of the German killing machine. It was wretched. These were dead bodies stacked on top of each other. Then there was a show on Hollywood spending millions, many hundreds of millions on stupid movies. The absurdity of life. Here's what goes on in my head;
What does God expect from me? As I lay in bed tonight, what am I responsible for? I always feel like I am supposed to be doing more. I kept thinking about those millions of deaths, 35 million dead in Europe during the big war. This is beyond thought. If I saw a counselor, how can I know they are right with God to the point of guiding another, namely me?
Next thought…relationships. I desired to connect with someone. To feel content…to sit in church together and then go to Home Depot to shop and actually enjoy spending a day together. To be connected to the moment. I fear my age. I long for someone who is supportive of my creativity. My partner. Someone who is amazed at my brilliance. I don’t want to compete but be appreciated. I need this deeply.
I was at Trader Joe’s tonight shopping. I couldn’t find the almonds so I asked a gal who worked there. She took me to the aisle and there they were, right where I was looking. She smiled brightly. She was cute and sweet. I was attracted to her. I felt like being with her, knowing her. Yet, what about Judy? How can my feelings fluctuate so quickly? This is a problem I have with women. I bounce all over the place based on the mood I'm in. To deal with this I ignore women and get frustrated because I am so inconsistent. How do I deal with this?
I feel over the hill. Does God want that for me? How can I know His will and be confident? I feel tortured and teased by God when I think like this?
The church. I am thinking about leaving my church. How can I know for sure about this? How can I know God approves of either churches I've attended? Is all of this ADHD? Now I start to tap on my mattress drum beats. I think of my parents getting older. They are going to die. This scares me.
Job. I worry about a job. I am clueless to where God wants me. I fear getting caught in the usual rut. What is the significance of a job? What is its worth? I want so deeply to contribute, to please God with my labor. All the effort I've spent in worry and in other areas. I pray God use all of this for His glory, for His purpose. Isn’t God responsible for some of this…if I am to trust Him. I can only know so much. What does it mean to really rest in his care despite my imperfections, lusts, foolishness, faulty thinking patterns? I think of Edison. He was so committed to his cause and purpose. I long for this. To be absorbed with purpose each minute of the day. To not wallow in shallowness. To not watch the movie, but to create it. In all of this there is emptiness, anxiousness, uncertainty. How can I know this is what God wants?
This is what ran through my mind tonight and it goes on and on.
I listened to the a 25th Anniversary tape cassette…again. Why do I love this tape so much? It contains stories. I need to search for stories on cassette that are touching and educational. I come alive thinking about this. I love the part when Doug’s father, Larry shares about his love for his father. The amazing rootedness in the Bolcher family with five generations of sons. I kept thinking of the utter significance of knowing the truth of our roots. How important this teaching is in our relationally broken culture. What hope can one offer the person who grew up in a horrific family structure? And what impact does that have on their being? This whole subject is of keen interest to me, especially as I dig into my own life.
How does the family structure impact an individual’s life? My family seems to have a learning disorder. How did that affect me? Why am I just learning about this now? Why have I felt like a piece of driftwood my entire life? What is a correct understanding of the family and recovering roots? "
03-28-03, 03:23 PM
I met Friday and it went OK. I was given Zoloft for depression & anxiety issues. He said I was not defined in any one area (story of my life) and he would start with treating each issue individually, starting with the foundation of depression and anxiety. Outside of his looking at the clock when I spoke, I think it went well.
03-28-03, 11:30 PM
LOL that clock thing I thing is a nervous tic with some doctors. It sounds like it went well. And sometimes unspecified symptoms once one defined area is treated the other areas becoe clearer. Thi sis good news :) Im proud of you for going through with all of it.
03-29-03, 03:24 AM
Thanks Crissy & Big for your support! I am going to take the Zoloft as prescribed on a daily basis--no ADDesq, "I'll improvise at will" I think this forum needs to juice it up. there are a lot of good things happening. A good resource is of value in the medical community. Like diet and nutrition, we're deal with rather UNexact sciences here that are more three steps forwatd, two steps back until final balance is achieved.
03-30-03, 04:19 PM
sounds like you have been through the wringer. your honesty will be important in your dealings with your shrink, and it sounds like you have no problems with honesty! good for you. i try to bring a synopsis of the month (or weeks) since the last time i met with my doc,,,it helps so i don't focus merely on the last 24 hours. i ask about side effects, i tell them what i dont want, and it helps them make the best decision for me. best of luck to you!