Whilst browsing the forums I feel that I can relate to many of the symptoms that people are discussing concerning ADHD. I have done loads of online tests which score high and am confused as to what I have.

Heres my “traits” that I have always had (since about 4yrs old that I can recall) :

Very anxious/frustrated with boring things like movies that are slow to get going or just plain boring. Especially at the cinema where I can get so frustrated that my head feels like its going to explode and feel dizzy/sick and sometimes I need walk out. If its a good movie I'm buzzing.

Find it frustrating to read stuff that I dont find interesting, skipping all over the place often starting at the end to get it over. Although I have few problems with interesting topics. I have ok spelling but sometimes, completely forget how to spell something or think of an appropriate word.

If someone gives me verbal directions/instructions, I'm lost after about 3 items and forget the first one. If someones talking about a topic that I'm not interested in I find it very hard to pay attention, my heads hurts if I try, even then its like there talking another language. I feel that theres so much going on in my head that unless its interesting I just dont need it.

Wicked hyper focusing abilities, often unaware of my surroundings like in another world. If I find something interesting I normally do it to perfection. I learnt to play the guitar in 6 months to a pretty good standard according to mates that are surprised how quick I have leant, I've had no tuition, just a book. I love learning a new song but when I've “mastered” it, I get bored and depressed and want a new song to play.

Ive often been told to stop fidgeting, well I cant sit still for long it frustrates me big time. School reports said I paid little attention and spent most of my time day dreaming staring out of the window, I remember being very frustrated and eager for the lesson to end, although with subjects I enjoyed, was often classed as a “model student”. I achieved reasonable grades in the end, without too much difficulty, although couldn't read properly till I was about 9.

Have been told I was a very hyperactive child, even now I often feel like climbing something for the excitement and danger and just being immature.

Im very impulsive, I bought my car and apartment as soon as I saw them, both have been a good choice though. I hate waiting for anything and have even gone to 24hr supermarkets late at night cause I just cant wait till the morning. With other things I cant make my mind up and get frustrated.

I have walked out of many jobs, something annoys me and I'm off. I'm currently off work for a week after walking out, not sure what to do, but the boss is ok with it as I enjoy the job and and am his number one worker (he said).

Serious procrastination, it took a year to decorate my 1 bed apartment, I found it hard to start most things. My apartment is fairly tidy but my cupboards are packed with stuff I dont need but cant be bothered to sort out.

I dont take criticism well, often taking things personally or misinterpreting it and react immaturely and have no tact at all.

I often miss place things, normally when Im not thinking at the time where I put them. And clumsy at times.

Diagnosed history of depression in my mum and granddad on prosak. PTSD and OCD in my brother. Unconfirmed/untreated “brain over load” in me and my dad where especially in work where we often burn out with too much information or problems to deal with. I used to have an OCD (checking for closed doors/where my wallet is etc each about 6 times).



The thing is I like a joint (spliff) at night and not sure if I could give it up if required for diagnoses, it seems to clear my head and I feel “normal” after the high. These “traits” are reflected over my whole life and have caused a lot of confusion, frustration and the feeling that my heads going so fast its going to explode. I dont really feel depressed as such, just frustrated. Im 30 now and have got used to handling it I think, not sure though.

I had testicular cancer and colitis in the last 5 yrs, my mum died from cancer 2 yrs ago, I feel lost and dont know how to take it. This could be a complex PTSD, I was born early and had problems, not sure what they were and drowned once, but dont remember them.

I could carry on as stuff comes out of my head but I'm no good at putting it in order and will end up a mess lol.

Any ideas ? Cheers..

From what you describe, I think you most likely have ADHD and PTSD, I am no doctor and I totally understand a lot of what you describe being diagnosed with both of those illnesses and having PTSD mostly due to being diagnosed as bipolar at age 8. An illness from illness, I can relate.

Welcome to ADDForums by the way, we are glad to have new members here...

Back to the topic at hand, have you seen a psychiatrist about this? another thing is possibly therapy? Do they do DBT in the UK? That is the best program for what I believe you are describing

I think that there's a better chance of getting the help you need, once you see a psychiatrist, there is a lot of support on this site and I hope you keep coming back here for support because it can be therapeutic, trust me.

Welcome and good luck with getting well.

Hi and welcome! I agree that talking to a professional (doctor, therapist) would be a good step to take. As you pointed out, you can relate to a lot of what people describe here in the forums, but the only way to sort out ADHD with or without another co-existing condition (like PTSD) is through a professional.

It can be a slow process, sorting it all out, but well worth it, I think. There's a lot of support and information here that can, hopefully, help along the way.

Kim

thanks, yea I'll go and see someone, as it effects my work which isnt too good. its a cool forum hang out in, knowing we're not alone.

Auditory working memory or auditory processing is a problem for you. (YOu mention that you Can't remember multistep instructions or details for what you just heard.)

A test like the PASAT would come up really poor in scoring for you. (A test sometimes used in Neuropsych testing.)

Marijuana causes memory and mood problems (amotivational syndrome).

If you continue to use drugs that sabotage your memory and mood, there is no point in giving you ADD meds or depression/anxiety treatment.

It's like giving more and more antipsychotic pills to someone who won't quit the LSD.

That is why my story is based on my "traits" before marijuana use which I started using only 2yrs ago. The frequency of symptoms in school, work and relationships hasn't increased, although I'm more paranoid now.

If I explained more of my erratic behaviour and feelings that I had when I was younger and that my dad is very similar even now, it would be clearer that its not just the marijuana (not that I'm implying you meant that). We're a strong stubborn family that doesn't talk about such issues much and so seek very little help and just about manage to get on with it.

But yeah I understand that the marijuana use needs to be addressed first and sort out my underlying disorder(s) with a clearer head as possible.

Thanks