hi can anyone give me some advice??

My 7 year old shows signs of adhd and after a year of gettin no where i eventually got re reffered to a psychiatrist, whom after an initial appt asked me to come back without my son so we could discuss some more. I went there on thursday 4th feb and after the consultation she said she felt he does indeed have adhd. The releif that i might now get some help was immense!!
She asked us to return today monday 9th feb so she could explain adhd to my son and that on the 24th we would discuss meds.

Anyway my son was at grandmas for lunch then i drove by to collect him for the appt. I ddid not go into her house cos we were running late, so i waited in the car and he came running out very much in a normal frame of mind. We went to our appt and the doc said after the appt that actually he does not seem to be adhd!!! Deflated cannot fully discribe how i felt.

On returning to grandmas house she was very upset and told me that Max had kicked and punched her in the stomach because he was not allowed to follow me to work when i dropped him off this morning, she had to restrain him from runnin out of the house after me as he had gone in a mood because she had refused him a trip to a toyshop. Does this sound like a child who has no behavioural issues to anyone??

I have spent the day since hearing of this in floods of tears, feeling very desperate and confused - can anyone see a positive way out of this?

COnsider the diagnostic process to be like a court case. You must gather your evidence to prove what is going on. This means, school reports, letter from Grandma, letters from family friends, brief case history etc...

When I got my daughter dx, I wrote out her life history, included school reports and a letter from her teacher and a couple of contact phone numbers of adults she's assaulted.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such rotten stuff Millie... you have my support... and I am no expert, but I will offer what words I can in the hopes that something might help you.

One problem with diagnosing ADD is that the symptoms come and go. How did your psychiatrist determine whether or not Max has ADD? As tudorose says above, there are a LOT of things that need to be taken into account, and if the psych just looks at how the kid is acting one time on one day, there will be no useful diagnosis.

I don't know what to say about the fight with grandma... except that I sympathize. :( :( :( This must be horrible for you.

What sort of discipline did you give him?

thanx for the words of support.
When Max did this he was talked by myself and when his dad came home it was decided that he had to get ready for bed and he was to be grounded, he knows how upset we all are about it and did apologise to myself and grandma.
When Psych said he definately sounded adhd that was after an hour chat with just myself. Max was not there. I have taken in School reports and read extracts from them to her, and she agreed that he needed meds. She told me the next appt was to discuss adhd with him, yet she didnt she just asked him questions that he said automatic yes to - eg; so when u are fighting with others are u playin a character and it gets out of hand? his answer was yes. He actualy fights with others cos he gets angry cos they wont do as he wants and gets aggressive.
Next question - can u not sleep cos you are scared after watchin movies, and do u have bad dreams about them? his answer - yes
He tells me he cant sleep cos his head has too many thoughts in it not that he is scared and he would inform me if he was. All the while of the appt he sat playing with cars and i dont think he was really takin her questions seriously, just sayin what he thought they wanted him to say.
I think next time i go for appt i will take my mum up on her offer of coming with me to support me as i dont feel i can take much more of this alone. I do have the support of my husband but he has to work and the type of job he has makes it difficult for him to get the time off. He already has taken few times off to attend and just cannot keep taking time off.
Also think i will try to get some letters from the people who see him reguarly - thanx for that tip and Tudorrose u are right, it is like tryin to prove a case
thanks for listening
Michelle

Michelle, First of all it's nice to meet you and welcome to the forum's.

My son was diagnosed ADHD at the age of 7. We fought tooth and nail,,,finally giving up on the first therapist who asked the same question's you have posted. We found another therapist specializing in ADD behaviours. For two weeks before his appt. we documented everything from reactions to playing. She said she probably could have diagnosed him without seeing him by the detail in our notes. By all means take your mother. You pay this doctor for their time therefore they are in your employ and you do have the right to be heard.

Right now your son has no voice...It is your responsibility to stand up and say "you will listen to me" and don't let anyone tell you different. And trust me some will try; but, YOU are the one who knows your child best. If you do not trust the therapist you are currently seeing begin a search for a new one.

Keep us posted and the best of luck
Cherity