bluetree
11-08-07, 03:25 PM
Have any of you been completely scared and defensive in a relationship when you realized that the other person very quickly understood/accepted all of you?
Here’s my situation… I’ve been dating someone now for around two months. I have not been diagnosed with ADD but I have many of the traits and have friends and family that are ADDers. He has ADHD and has been officially diagnosed for a few years. I’m in my late 20’s and he’s in his mid-30’s.
I’ve noticed that he has two personas. One that he uses to function in everyday life and the other is his true self. I’m certain that he’s functioned for most of his life with this public “face” and that’s safe for him. No judgement here as I used to be very much the same way until I worked through most of my social anxiety, etc. and finally found the courage to just be who I really am.
Well…. He’s finally met someone that understands him (me :D ), accepts him and sees through his public and private selves. I’ve not been overly intrusive about this because he has difficulty opening up. I’ve just told him stories about myself to help him relate to me and we’ve talked about the fact that we have the same little quirks. Still, it’s been really intense. Our values, habits and personalities...even the smallest things...we recognize in one another.
Initially he was very affectionate and things were going well. He later made the comment that I am perfect for him and that no one else has ever understood him. Now, I feel like I’m still standing in the same place and he seems to be off somewhere else struggling with this.
So, I am patient and he is totally worth it, but still I gotta ask... Should I just give him some time to sort through all of this or is this too close for comfort?
Here’s my situation… I’ve been dating someone now for around two months. I have not been diagnosed with ADD but I have many of the traits and have friends and family that are ADDers. He has ADHD and has been officially diagnosed for a few years. I’m in my late 20’s and he’s in his mid-30’s.
I’ve noticed that he has two personas. One that he uses to function in everyday life and the other is his true self. I’m certain that he’s functioned for most of his life with this public “face” and that’s safe for him. No judgement here as I used to be very much the same way until I worked through most of my social anxiety, etc. and finally found the courage to just be who I really am.
Well…. He’s finally met someone that understands him (me :D ), accepts him and sees through his public and private selves. I’ve not been overly intrusive about this because he has difficulty opening up. I’ve just told him stories about myself to help him relate to me and we’ve talked about the fact that we have the same little quirks. Still, it’s been really intense. Our values, habits and personalities...even the smallest things...we recognize in one another.
Initially he was very affectionate and things were going well. He later made the comment that I am perfect for him and that no one else has ever understood him. Now, I feel like I’m still standing in the same place and he seems to be off somewhere else struggling with this.
So, I am patient and he is totally worth it, but still I gotta ask... Should I just give him some time to sort through all of this or is this too close for comfort?