Its never good enough

I stole this from another thread (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45160)

The actual post (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=501382&postcount=5)



Another example of commonality in ADHD and OC symptoms is the perfectionistic standards. The sense that it’s "not enough" is a major piece of the OC Personality.

Similarly, individuals with ADHD have usually suffered through years of teachers and parents telling them they are not doing as well as they should and could try harder, run faster, or jump higher.



This history instills in the ADHD person that same sense of feeling like whatever he/she has achieved or wherever he/she is in life - it’s not enough.

There could be more if he would only....

This kind of thinking leaves the person with a nagging, gnawing feeling that something is not quite right about him/her and what he/she is doing.

__________________________________________________ _


This is something that seems to come up an awful lot in many of the threads over the 4 years I have been living here at the ADDforums , which I refer to as " My Home away from Home "



Lets open this up for Positive Feedback and Comments so that other people can see how this has affected your life and how you dealt with it then and now.

Negative Feedback and Comments are welcome also but please take the time to recognise and mark it whether you feel this is either a Positive or a Negative comment.....




Maybe someone reading this somewhere done the road will change the way they deal with a son or a daughter or a student or a employee

Thats me to a tee. Hate losing, hate feeling like im not doing my best...
have always been told im a waste of space from mi parents, my teachers at school hated me cuz i disrupted their classes. Now i have to do things right or get this nagging feeling like i should be doin better...
Good point bro good point..
any similar experiences?

Maori Boy

This has been the worst feeling I have had regarding the ADD and have lived with it forever..............


The Negative Part




never felt good enough
wasn't comfortable around people as I always felt they were better than me
simply didn't understand why I felt this way
didn't pick up on the fact that everybody and everthing ( society ) was telling me " You can do Better "
and so on and so on
The Positive Part



Once I recognized that this was a feeling and an emotion that was set off by other peoples influence in my life I learned how to deal with it


It has allowed me to recognize that I can do what ever I want as long as I want to do it








It has allowed me to recognize that If I don't want to do something , then it is not going to get done
I have learned to recognize and admit , either to myself or to someone else that I don't want to do something so therefore its not going to get done by me..........
To clarify where this is helpful or would have been helpful as I was growing up

My spelling and writing is very sloppy and hard to read by someone else but it looks neat and orderly to me.....

I couldn't care less about how neat it was, in school because the answers were all correct, but I was forced to practice making my writing neat so the teacher could read it....

Why couldn't she have asked me to read it for her instead of trying to force me to do something I couldn't do then and still can't do today. The time that was wasted being forced to do what I didn't want to do / couldn't do would have been better spent doing what I could do well.........






Also on the Negative part




This recognition has also made me very BLUNT and to the Point, on many situations of which I recognize and am working at toning down how I say things .........

But even when I say/type things in what I feel is a very mellow way , many people interpet my ramblings as being very harsh or strong......





I find it much easier to avoid people who want to have everything that is said " sugar coated and political "....

good points there bro..nice to see u adding the positive part as well.
For me the postive to it would be that I am always wanting to do better. Because of this urge to be the best, I excelled in rugby, won player of the year for my team and league even tho i was an arrogant prick back the...lol
I would of made the Northland Rep team if i hadnt called my coach something I shouldnt have and got kicked out of the team...
Im a good hard worker cuz I dont like letting people down like my boss and all that. Mind you, i never used to be liek that, i mucked around at school, was the class clown
Also i understand how people may be feeling, i know how it feels to be depressed, to be impulsive etc so I try and be understanding of it.
Im pretty carefree most of the time ad have learnt to just laugh at myself when i make little mistakes, ive learned in a way to take life not so seriously and ahve a good laugh at least once a day. Being a joker isnt a bad thing if u use it at the right time. I find lots of things funny and always have a smart comment in my mind, alot of the time have to restrain myself from saying it. In the past i would of jsut said it but ive kinda learnt not too. Dont wanna get in kaka ay. Im still competitive but know when to turn it off and on.
Can help people who have been in similar circumstances and share what ive been thru and ways to cope etc...
ummm thats all i can think of right now..

Maori Boy

This has been the worst feeling I have had regarding the ADD and have lived with it forever..............


The Negative Part



never felt good enough
wasn't comfortable around people as I always felt they were better than me
simply didn't understand why I felt this way
didn't pick up on the fact that everybody and everthing ( society ) was telling me " You can do Better "
and so on and so on
The Positive Part



Once I recognized that this was a feeling and an emotion that was set off by other peoples influence in my life I learned how to deal with it


It has allowed me to recognize that I can do what ever I want as long as I want to do it
It has allowed me to recognize that If I don't want to do something , then it is not going to get done
I have learned to recognize and admit , either to myself or to someone else that I don't want to do something so therefore its not going to get done by me..........
To clarify where this is helpful or would have been helpful as I was growing up

My spelling and writing is very sloppy and hard to read by someone else but it looks neat and orderly to me.....

I couldn't care less about how neat it was, in school because the answers were all correct, but I was forced to practice making my writing neat so the teacher could read it....

Why couldn't she have asked me to read it for her instead of trying to force me to do something I couldn't do then and still can't do today. The time that was wasted being forced to do what I didn't want to do / couldn't do would have been better spent doing what I could do well.........






Also on the Negative part




This recognition has also made me very BLUNT and to the Point, on many situations of which I recognize and am working at toning down how I say things .........

But even when I say/type things in what I feel is a very mellow way , many people interpet my ramblings as being very harsh or strong......





I find it much easier to avoid people who want to have everything that is said " sugar coated and political ".... well said Garry..exactly as I would have liked to explian it...

good points there bro..nice to see u adding the positive part as well.
For me the postive to it would be that I am always wanting to do better. Because of this urge to be the best, I excelled in rugby, won player of the year for my team and league even tho i was an arrogant prick back the...lol
I would of made the Northland Rep team if i hadnt called my coach something I shouldnt have and got kicked out of the team...
Im a good hard worker cuz I dont like letting people down like my boss and all that. Mind you, i never used to be liek that, i mucked around at school, was the class clown
Also i understand how people may be feeling, i know how it feels to be depressed, to be impulsive etc so I try and be understanding of it.
Im pretty carefree most of the time ad have learnt to just laugh at myself when i make little mistakes, ive learned in a way to take life not so seriously and ahve a good laugh at least once a day. Being a joker isnt a bad thing if u use it at the right time. I find lots of things funny and always have a smart comment in my mind, alot of the time have to restrain myself from saying it. In the past i would of jsut said it but ive kinda learnt not too. Dont wanna get in kaka ay. Im still competitive but know when to turn it off and on.
Can help people who have been in similar circumstances and share what ive been thru and ways to cope etc...
ummm thats all i can think of right now..OMG!!! MB..you wrote about my life..except the rugby bit....well said too..

I just ramble when i try to say that sort of stuff :D :D if you haven't noticed...LOL

u little copycat u lol
haha nah ur all good, lol i can so imagine u in real life lol, i bet ur the one that everyone says never shuts up lol..i mean that nicely..i was like that and am still to a point but have learnt to shut mi piehole when i need to lol.
u should really take up rugby...

:-) I have the build for it..LOL..yep..I talk too much...but I'm getting better at keeping shhhh...

actually, on my weekend away, I met the president of the local ladies footy team...maybe I could join that next season :-)

lol..except she was scary...and playfully tackled some 6 foot bloke off his chair, and onto the floor..and when he grabbed her boob she literally smacked him with a left hook to his head...LOL..priceless

she was lovely tho :-)

HAHAHA i can just imagine it, i would be laughing so hard if i saw that, dang u should of video taped it.
she sounds really um lovely lol
hmm wot position would u play...maybe u could be a lock, the ones in the lineout and someone would have to lift you or u could be a loosy or in the scrum, you have to put ur head btwn the props legs...LOL
ur mouth is like a fast speeding train...i love trains, i used to have a thomas the tank engine one wen i was little. my aunty got it for me. lovely lady!

LOL....I have no idea about positions...I rather like the idea of defense though, like when I played netball in highschool....I'd look like I was daydreaming (I'm good at that) then out of no-where I'd lunge for the ball and scare the opponent half to death..I LOVED it...hehehe...

there may be a pic of her in my out and about thread..I'm not sure if I posted one :-)

awesome...photos of ladies.
girls and rugby..my two of myfav things..just not sure how they are combined...will check out the thread lol.
scarey tracey lol, yeah well in rugby u dont really lunge for a stray ball when u defend..u smack them to the ground. no twirling in circles and picking daisies! lol

I dont get it???

get wot? i dont get what to geth that wot?
wait that didnt maek sense either ay..
ay??

This whole thread and it's relationship to the title, I am also 'undexed' (without medication, skipped a dose) so my attention is off.

wen me and trace get talkn, always get off topic, poor hope has to change lots of stuff around and all that ay
um yeah i dont really know now its like 6am and i havent slept at all last night. im too hyper to sleep? wots with that??
wot happens if u skip ur meds?

I get all hyper and can pay attention for like 30 seconds, I also eat like a pig.

really? i understand the whole hyper thing, thats me but i kinda like being hyper, can control it enough to live on lol..girls like it lol
oh true u eat like a pig? whys that? im not such a good eater, forget to eat etc
v interesting..

This whole thread and it's relationship to the title, I am also 'undexed' (without medication, skipped a dose) so my attention is off.Big Grin :) yea id say the thread got Hijacked .

We wont mention any names though ......:confused: