Sorry if this post ends up a bit fragmented and all over the place, that's how my brain is working at the moment!!

I am a 24 year old university student. I started studying last year and did really well my first semester, getting top marks, but have been struggling to complete my work in the three semesters since.

About a week ago I OD'd on prescription medication in a suicide attempt. Before that point in time I had not thought of killing myself at all for years, it was very sudden and brought on initially by a fight with my boyfriend (which was fairly insignificant).

This week I have been to see a counsellor at my university that I have seen twice before earlier in the year when I was dealing with a traumatic experience, and also my doctor. At this point the plan is to see the counsellor once a week indefinitely and consider additional counseling and medication.

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after a suicide attempt, and took zoloft for 2 months. I hated it as it made me feel tired and more depressed so I stopped taking it and didn't see my psychiatrist again. Again I saw a psychologist when I was 18 because I couldn't cope and didn't know what was wrong, they diagnosed bipolar disorder again and I took Celexa, which induced psychosis, so I stopped taking it immediately and stopped seeing the psycologist, giving up on getting help through doctors or medications.

I tried to turn my life around on my own and made a lot of progress. But on and off I would flounder and see another doctor, but by the time I would see them I thought everything was ok...I felt like I was too sane to be there, or whatever, and so I would never go back. But now I know, obviously something has been wrong. People don't just randomly decide to kill themselves over nothing when their brains are functioning properly!!

So now I've come to this point where I don't think I can do it on my own anymore, and I need help...which is what I'm getting. So my doctor was asking all these questions and to him it seems like depression, not bipolar disorder at all, because I don't have periods of mania...only this made no sense to me. I know what depression is, I've felt it on and off so many times in my life...and I don't live in a constant state of it. I feel like there is something else that brings it on.

I started reading things online and found an ADHD checklist and I almost screamed...it describes me to a "T".

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm (http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm)

When I'm doing an essay or assignment for university I stress so much about starting it that I don't think I have turned any in on time yet...usually making up really elaborate stories, and sometimes they end up being even 3 weeks late, finally when I do start working on them I take breaks so often between reading, or re-read everything...or skip from one part to another. And the skipping from one thing to another...omg, I have so many projects and IDEAS all the time...my head is always buzzing with them, I am always starting: a raw food diet, a garden, a trip, a new job, a new hobbie, a this a that...but never sustaining it at all, usually I forget about it by the time that someone asks me how it's going. And TALKING! My friends and family often get angry at me because I cut them off when they are talking...or think I don't listen to anything they say...I do though, and I can start talking about something in the middle of their sentence and finish mine off with the last word they said...which I am sure is very annoying...as much as people ask me to stop doing that though, I can't. I could write a novel really...almost everything on this checklist defines my existence....

But I guess...now I am getting confused about it. For one thing, I've always been very skeptical about ADHD, believing it is overdiagnosed? And I'm also scared that I'm getting carried away with the idea..and I mean, I've always seen it as this problem revolving around activity...not something that would lead me to want to jump off a cliff or take a lot of pills. Maybe I'm just misinformed. Sorry I wrote a novel...and thanks for anyone who reads it and has advice http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after a suicide attempt, and took zoloft for 2 months. I hated it as it made me feel tired and more depressed so I stopped taking it and didn't see my psychiatrist again. Again I saw a psychologist when I was 18 because I couldn't cope and didn't know what was wrong, they diagnosed bipolar disorder again and I took Celexa, which induced psychosis, so I stopped taking it immediately and stopped seeing the psycologist, giving up on getting help through doctors or medications.

Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's, TCA's, etc.) and Bipolar often do not mix without additional interventions (mood stabilizers). Without these, such drugs can possibly provoke mania (even with them, it's still possible). I'm curious if these doctors were knowingly prescribing like this?

But I guess...now I am getting confused about it. For one thing, I've always been very skeptical about ADHD, believing it is overdiagnosed? And I'm also scared that I'm getting carried away with the idea..and I mean, I've always seen it as this problem revolving around activity...not something that would lead me to want to jump off a cliff or take a lot of pills. Maybe I'm just misinformed. Sorry I wrote a novel...and thanks for anyone who reads it and has advice http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif

There's a high one-way comorbidity between bipolar and ADHD. A high percentage of those that actually have bipolar also have many ADHD symptoms. Also, ADHD often does not travel alone, and can exist with other disorders like depression. The key here is that depression is an acquired mental illness (i.e. one is not born with it), whereas ADHD is a developmental attention disorder (symptoms are present early, even if they aren't necessarily noticed). There was supposedly a requirement of having symptoms present before age 7, but I'm not sure of the status on that now.

Anyway, welcome to the forums.

Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's, TCA's, etc.) and Bipolar often do not mix without additional interventions (mood stabilizers). Without these, such drugs can possibly provoke mania (even with them, it's still possible). I'm curious if these doctors were knowingly prescribing like this?
I don't think they were very good at what they did. I can see that now, but being young and naive could not see that then. The first doc didn't even warn me to wean myself off, so I ended up in emergency after abrubtly stopping zoloft after being on 150mg a day...not fun stuff. But this was 6-8 years ago and in the states, where bipolar disorder was the diagnosis of the day...so I'm still very unsure as to whether it was entirely misdiagnosed in the first place. They didn't really do much to diagnose me...just asked a few questions, and I probably lied a lot...knowing myself back then.



There's a high one-way comorbidity between bipolar and ADHD. A high percentage of those that actually have bipolar also have many ADHD symptoms. Also, ADHD often does not travel alone, and can exist with other disorders like depression. The key here is that depression is an acquired mental illness (i.e. one is not born with it), whereas ADHD is a developmental attention disorder (symptoms are present early, even if they aren't necessarily noticed). There was supposedly a requirement of having symptoms present before age 7, but I'm not sure of the status on that now.


My current doctor has pretty much ruled out bipolar disorder, I don't think he's even considering it, and I probably agree with him. I have noticed that about depression, etc. while I have been reading about ADHD, and I don't know if that might make more sense for me.

I was trying to think back to when I was young and whether I would have had the symptoms then, but its so hard to know. There's not really anyone I can ask, either. See...as far as most people can tell I am functioning, it's the world inside my head that is the problem, and while it does cause lots and lots of observable ripples I guess in being aware of that I've minimized what people notice...if anything most people I know would just say I can be annoying, fickle and moody at times (although probably not directly to me lol).

I know I've struggled with whatever problem I do have for a long time...I can remember being unable to sleep and/or crying myself to sleep as young as 8. And when I was a kid I was an utter perfectionist...a straight A student until about 7th grade where I fell behind in maths and pretty much my academic life fell apart (which eventually led to my dropping out of high school). During that time I consistently got remarks about how I could do SO much better if I applied myself, but I just couldn't apply myself...it was too boring, or I didn't want to be there...it's hard to remember the reasons now it's so long ago...but in my head it all started with dropping behind in that one maths class and the way the teacher dealt with it and the frustration it caused me.

And the thing is...I COULD have done better, I knew that. And it's always pressure...I'm always "the smart one" gah, how many comments I've heard about it...and its hard to sustain that when you're failing out of all your classes haha. Anyway...tangent.

But anyway...thanks for the reply, I feel like I'm grasping at straws and I don't know who to turn to so any advice at all is really, really helpful.

Oh, I forgot to say...

I was talking to my dr about medication as well and he was suggesting an SSRI, but I am wary since I have tried 2 that have had bad results in the past. He also mentioned effexor, which I have noticed is also used sometimes for ADHD so maybe by taking that I can theoretically kill two birds with one stone...and see what symptoms drop off. If (wishful thinking) it works for me, that is.

So now I've come to this point where I don't think I can do it on my own anymore, and I need help...which is what I'm getting. So my doctor was asking all these questions and to him it seems like depression, not bipolar disorder at all, because I don't have periods of mania...only this made no sense to me. I know what depression is, I've felt it on and off so many times in my life...and I don't live in a constant state of it. I feel like there is something else that brings it on.
I've had this exact experience, and it can be so frustrating. Before I started seeing my current psychiatrist, who I LOVE, I had seen countless other doctors who I felt had no idea what they were talking about. Like you, I'm in my mid twenties so I had seen all these doctors in a short period of time, running through them and then denouncing them altogether at times because I couldn't take their misdiagnoses anymore.

It is confusing when you take the time to seek out a "professional" and when meeting with them you discover that you seem to know more about various afflictions than them. HUH?!?!? Ugh, it never fails to boggle my mind how these people earn their degrees.

I think a lot of it is that they just want to get you out of the office. They pounce on whatever first comes to mind (You have mood swings? BIPOLAR! You're feeling blue today? DEPRESSION!) so they can just shove some pills at you and send you on your way.

I myself was diagnosed with GAD, OCD, Bipolar, and Depression before my current psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD, which, in my opinion, (FINALLY) is SPOT ON especially since pretty much my entire dad's side of the family has this "disorder." I would have so many agonizing conversations with psychiatrists where they would try and convince me that I was Bipolar. Like you, I just KNEW they were wrong. But what could I say? I wasn't the one with the medical degree, you know?

I think you just have to trust yourself. These docs don't know you any better than you do, that's for sure! And it sounds to me like you know what you have.

When I'm doing an essay or assignment for university I stress so much about starting it that I don't think I have turned any in on time yet...usually making up really elaborate stories, and sometimes they end up being even 3 weeks late, finally when I do start working on them I take breaks so often between reading, or re-read everything...or skip from one part to another. And the skipping from one thing to another...omg, I have so many projects and IDEAS all the time...my head is always buzzing with them, I am always starting: a raw food diet, a garden, a trip, a new job, a new hobbie, a this a that...but never sustaining it at all, usually I forget about it by the time that someone asks me how it's going. And TALKING! My friends and family often get angry at me because I cut them off when they are talking...or think I don't listen to anything they say...I do though, and I can start talking about something in the middle of their sentence and finish mine off with the last word they said...which I am sure is very annoying...as much as people ask me to stop doing that though, I can't. I could write a novel really...almost everything on this checklist defines my existence....
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me like you are assuming correctly--this sounds like ADHD. Completely. Part of the reason I think this is it sounds exactly like me!

You really need to find a good psychiatrist. I know it's hard. Maybe there is a support group in your area that can recommend one?

If you're at all in the NYC area I can recommend mine for sure.

Oh, I should also mention that I am currently on Effexor. I was put on this when I was misdiagnosed for OCD. My doctor now has written me a prescription for Aderall which I'm getting filled today. He feels I need to be on a stimulant because of my hyperactivity (stimulants actually help control the talking, talking, talking, etc. that you mentioned above.)

I would be wary about getting on Effexor. It is EXTREMELY addictive and if you ever want to go off it you will have HUGE problems. I am going through this now.

Effexor did help me with my anxiety, but it does nothing for my inattentiveness and hyperactivity, which are my main problems. Just wanted to let you know.

Oh, I should also mention that I am currently on Effexor. I was put on this when I was misdiagnosed for OCD. My doctor now has written me a prescription for Aderall which I'm getting filled today. He feels I need to be on a stimulant because of my hyperactivity (stimulants actually help control the talking, talking, talking, etc. that you mentioned above.)

I would be wary about getting on Effexor. It is EXTREMELY addictive and if you ever want to go off it you will have HUGE problems. I am going through this now.

Effexor did help me with my anxiety, but it does nothing for my inattentiveness and hyperactivity, which are my main problems. Just wanted to let you know.
I have read that about effexor everywhere. What problems exactly have you had trying to come off it?

After a lot of thinking...I might ask my dr for an ssri, perhaps prozac since I have not tried it yet and have heard slightly less bad stories about it than zoloft, etc. I guess I need to keep in mind that I do not have a 16 year old brain anymore so what did or did not work then might now. After looking into a lof of things it seems seratonin might be an issue though...and I really don't want to risk this effexor if it has so many side effects.

I think I might also ask for a referral to a psychologist who can do a battery of tests. I am confusing myself the more I research, realizing whatever is going on is probably more than one thing anyway..so we'll see. I know it's not physical, at least...as my dr did a full work up last year when I was complaining about being tired all the time, and the only thing out of whack was my B12, which should be stable now and made little difference.

*SIGHS* I'm getting more and more frustrated with this every day. Doesn't help that the meds I originally took (that landed me in the hospital) have worn off and now my moods are back to being completely erratic (although more so than usual I think because I'm not allowing myself normal "coping mechanisms" like alcohol or the boyfriend I'm pretty dependent on...). Last night I was soooo frustrated with everything, I could feel it building in my stomach and there was just nothing I could do to distract it...finally I fell asleep at 2 am (oh, insomnia too, yay). But I've woken up grumpy grumpy! Sorry...just had to complain!!

I've had this exact experience, and it can be so frustrating. Before I started seeing my current psychiatrist, who I LOVE, I had seen countless other doctors who I felt had no idea what they were talking about. Like you, I'm in my mid twenties so I had seen all these doctors in a short period of time, running through them and then denouncing them altogether at times because I couldn't take their misdiagnoses anymore.

It is confusing when you take the time to seek out a "professional" and when meeting with them you discover that you seem to know more about various afflictions than them. HUH?!?!? Ugh, it never fails to boggle my mind how these people earn their degrees.

I think a lot of it is that they just want to get you out of the office. They pounce on whatever first comes to mind (You have mood swings? BIPOLAR! You're feeling blue today? DEPRESSION!) so they can just shove some pills at you and send you on your way.

I myself was diagnosed with GAD, OCD, Bipolar, and Depression before my current psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD, which, in my opinion, (FINALLY) is SPOT ON especially since pretty much my entire dad's side of the family has this "disorder." I would have so many agonizing conversations with psychiatrists where they would try and convince me that I was Bipolar. Like you, I just KNEW they were wrong. But what could I say? I wasn't the one with the medical degree, you know?

I think you just have to trust yourself. These docs don't know you any better than you do, that's for sure! And it sounds to me like you know what you have.


I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me like you are assuming correctly--this sounds like ADHD. Completely. Part of the reason I think this is it sounds exactly like me!

You really need to find a good psychiatrist. I know it's hard. Maybe there is a support group in your area that can recommend one?

If you're at all in the NYC area I can recommend mine for sure.
I'm actually in Australia. I have a really good General Practitioner, so I'm not worried that he wants to get me out of the office. The problem I think is that I am not comfortable talking to him about a lot of things going on BECAUSE we have an established relationship. Also, he is a GP, not a psychologist. He does seem to have a fairly good knowledge on the medications involved (I suppose a university GP would see a lot of people struggling with things), but I just feel like I'm well beyond his scope - like there's just too much history and too much going on to get out in our 15-30 minute appointments anyway.

So it is probably a good idea to see a psychologist or psychiatrist who deals primarily with these sorts of things. The waiting list will likely be long (a few months this time of year) though unless I want to pay out of pocket, which I can't really afford to, so that's another hurdle. Especially since right now I do not want to wait. I feel like my life is on hold, and I know that if I don't start working things out soon I'll get frustrated with it and fall back on old habits. The counselor I see is really good, but she's more someone to talk out problems with than find a diagnosis. Anyway, I see them both tomorrow...so I'll post what ends up happening...

Yea, it's very frustrating not knowing what's wrong with you! What seems somewhat ironic to me at the moment is that I actually started university studying psychology...and here I can't even figure out what's wrong with myself lol - how is anyone else going to? I really hope they can tho...cause that's a big part of the ongoing problem I think, and I'd even written in my journal about it a lot during my drugged out psychosis last week...:confused:

So I saw my GP and counsellor today. I have an appointment on Friday with a psychologist to get an assessment, I'm going to ask him to do general testing rather than telling him what I THINK is wrong.

I did some little questionairres today that said I was "severely depressed" and had "severe anxiety," and both would be correct AT THE MOMENT.

GP gave me prozac to start...I'll start tonight and see how I go I guess.

I'm freaking out the last few days...the anxiety is almost unbearable..so much for not having physiological symptoms, they are in full gear!!!! I'm shaking a lot, keep catching myself either rocking back and forth or pacing, picking at my skin, biting my nails WAY more than usual, drumming my fingers really fast...and I can't stop doing any of it, any attempt to stop makes it increase!! I also keep getting phobic of all sorts of things, or nothing at all...like when I'm walking down the road, or I just almost didn't go into a shop because I saw someone I knew...things that normally wouldn't bother me at all, I can feel my heart go mad and my stomach knot up and suddenly I'm breathing really big breaths...

I feel like I'm going MAD!!!! arghhhh

Hang in there,,,,perhaps this period is the 'darkness before the dawn'
So much of what you've said reminds me of my own experience
You mentioned B12 but I'm a little confused.
Could you elaborate....???

Another question...............do you remember the feeling you had when you 'recognized' the symptoms of ADD
Have you ever had this kind of 'recognition' feeling happen to you before?

I wish there was a 'hug' emotioncom on this site,,,,I would send you lots((((....)))

BTW,,,what time is it where you are in Australia,,,,it's aprox 1 AM here in British Columbia Canada

Hang in there,,,,perhaps this period is the 'darkness before the dawn'
So much of what you've said reminds me of my own experience
You mentioned B12 but I'm a little confused.
Could you elaborate....???

Another question...............do you remember the feeling you had when you 'recognized' the symptoms of ADD
Have you ever had this kind of 'recognition' feeling happen to you before?

I wish there was a 'hug' emotioncom on this site,,,,I would send you lots((((....)))

BTW,,,what time is it where you are in Australia,,,,it's aprox 1 AM here in British Columbia Canada
I hope it is the darkness before the dawn!!

Last night I went to sleep early for once, at 11...I was SOO tired, so I'm not sure if that's an immediate side effect from the prozac or if I'd just worn myself out lol. I also seemed to calm down anxiety wise as soon as I became tired (around 9pm), I'd been reading poetry...so maybe that helps!! Also I slept through the night for once!

I'm deficient in vitamin B12. I take supplements when I remember, so it could actually be normal now, though. I'm a vegetarian though, so it's hardly surprising (you get B12 from animal products or some yeasts...like vegemite or marmite), and initially my GP gave me injections of B12 because I was complaining of being tired all the time, and other than a placebo effect for the first day or two it didn't help anyway.

I was really excited when I first saw that ADHD checklist...I thought maybe I'd "finally found the answer". I am becoming more confused as time goes on though..so I don't think it will turn out to be an "easy answer" lol...

The only time I've recognized symptoms in myself so much was when I was 18 and thought I had borderline personality disorder...but even then there were many parts of it where I thought I didn't fit, so it was a different feeling altogether. With ADHD, I feel more like it is an absolute fit, but then the problem becomes whether it's the only probelm (which I doubt), and might be pushed to the back of the priority list..*sigh* It's just a waiting game now though...(which I am incredibly bad at...patience is not a strong suit lol).

It's 8am here in Australia now. Thanks for the reply (: