For the past several weeks, my mom and I have been arguing and discussing about what the hell is up with me. I told her it may be because of inattentive ADD because all my symptoms fit up to all symptoms listed, but when I go to the psychiatrist, I get marked with anxiety/depression. Now my mom ends up contacting several doctors/psychologists (She now belives psychiatrist are "people who want to steal your money by just prescribing you meds and making you come back." ) And now, she was informed by my general doctor that ADD is overdiagnosed in the US and only diagnosed when you are little so now she is ignorant to my claims as I am 17 years old. She doesn't want me taking meds cause she fears their effects and the way they change behavior and she ignores my problems and believes that I AM A PERFECTLY NORMAL KID which it sure as hell does not seem like it when I end up planning and analyzing ways to shoot-up my school and how it would work and all these depressive thoughts. Is it Perfectly Normal that I am actually planning and playing every little detail about these things in my mind though I really do not intend to do this, but as every day progresses, I keep all my rage, emotions buried in my mind (I guess you could say im anti-social) and one day, I fear that I will snap and just lose it and "Fin".



And a brief description of my life: Even though I try, I fail. Even though I have a huge sense of pride and personal beliefs such as Not GIving Up/ Persisting in life, these ideas can obviously be disproven because of the fact that there is so much that is wrong in my life. Compared to everyone else in my grade/peers, I am the one that tries the hardest and I am damn right positive about it. I hate working at my part time job (restaurant) because of the way I have to deal with people -Examples:Fear of being embarassed, don't know what the hell to say to people or how to socialize with them(this goes for everyone I know practically). And then again I need the money to buy "sh** we don't need" such as games, accessories, movies that ACTUALLY stimulate my mind.



Whatever, I don't care anymore whether I have ADD because my mom keeps wanting to believe that I am normal. I should be studying for my physics test, but right now, I'm just too ticked off at my life being a constant failure and a constant struggle. (This is probably my only 2nd time that I am not being paranoid for my test and not studying, Most of the time I always ALWAYS STUDY not only to show how worthy I am to my parents (which turns out into a failure and it looks like my dad thinks im an retarted imbecile) but im afraid that i won't get accepted to a good univesity/ college. And right now, my grades are just decaying and decaying even while i persist and persist.)

What the hell is wrong with me and what the hell do I do because I sure as hell am lost right now....
And if i try telling my mom that I think i have ADD or anything, she will just ignore me.

Reaches over a hugs, It sounds like you're going through a really tough spot right now, shakepurmake. I'm also a senior with ADHD and some other stuff and I know how frustrating it can be when parents aren't able or willing to understand that this isn't something you have so much control over or try to stereotype you as "just a teen" saying you'll "grow out of it" or you could do better if you "just try harder." Usually they have good intentions but have just heard a lot of the myths that so bat around about ADHD, depression, mental illness, and so on. Still this doesn't make it much easier for you.

I don't know if you'd be interested, but the girl on this video really explained what it's like to be a teen with ADHD and it really helped me a lot to hear from someone I could relate. http://www.nosuchthingascrazy.com/courage.html

Three things have really helped me deal with my parent's misconceptions about my disorders.
1) Try not to argue
It's a hard thing to do, but when we argue people often become defencive and fail to hear what we have to say. Instead try to explain what you and only you are dealing with using "I" languange, this makes it more likely that the person will listen to what you have to say (ie; instead of saying 'You aren't taking me seriously! This is driving me nuts' try 'I am having a really rough time with this right now, and I was hoping we could look oversome info. on ADHD together).

2) "Forget" some information around the house or Invite your parents to a meet
One way I found to help educate my parents was to get some books and brochures and just leave them around the house. The more your parents know about ADHD the better they can help you. Also inviting them to a support group may help to show them that ADHD is a real thing that affects tons of people. CHADD (Children and Adults with ADD) has a support group just about anywhere in the US
http://www.chadd.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Find_Local_CHADD_Chapters&Template=/CustomPages/ChapterLocator/findchap.cfm
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) also has a similiar support program
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsupport

I've attended a DBSA group for what 3 years now, and it's really helped. Support groups aren't just for people with the disorder they are also for family members, friends, and professionals and even if your parents dont attend it can really help to get the support and encouragment from people who've been there

3) Build Support outside the Family
It might seem weird at first but talking with an instructure or close friend can really help. My sociology instructure has been more helpful to me than in any therapist in just well listening.

hope this helps

~Jen

Get NeuroPsych Testing (done by an Educational Psychologist) to check for Executive Fucntion and Working Memory deficits ...

Psychiatrists miss ADD all the time. (And your Doc seems prejudiced, against believing in it, by his comments.)

Your MOM can't dispute Testing that shows Neurological Deficits.

NB Many ADDers go on for years being told they have treatment resistant depression or anxiety. These will not improve if the ADD (executive function issues) are not Addressed and treated too.

I know of ADDers who were labelled as "depressed" or "anxiety disordered" for DECADES. (Usually females who are inattentive.)

BTW, shooting up your school is not 'plain old ADD'. At least, not alone.

If you are homicidal, are you also suicidal? This is how it can go in males. Just 'depends on which way the gun is pointed'.

Maybe you should tell your Guidance Counsellors that you feel self-destructive.

Having a denying and minimizing authority figure OR parent who cannot "see our problems" -- can do that, Shake!

We've all been there.

Keep talking to us.

So should I schedule an appointment with a neuropsychologist and ask em for NeuroPsych Testing? How long does it take and what is it about?

Get NeuroPsych Testing (done by an Educational Psychologist) to check for Executive Fucntion and Working Memory deficits ...

Psychiatrists miss ADD all the time. (And your Doc seems prejudiced, against believing in it, by his comments.)

Your MOM can't dispute Testing that shows Neurological Deficits.

NB Many ADDers go on for years being told they have treatment resistant depression or anxiety. These will not improve if the ADD (executive function issues) are not Addressed and treated too.

I know of ADDers who were labelled as "depressed" or "anxiety disordered" for DECADES. (Usually females who are inattentive.)

Get a psychological assessment to help clear things up. I am not sure about the NeuroPsych test, is that a Canada thing?

Once again, I am really ticked off and just want to beat the living **** out of my close-minded mom. All I do is ask her to make a neuropsychologist appointment and right away she starts ranting about how everything is fine and everything my General Doctor says should be listened to. This doctor...ONLY TAKES HER SIDE, not mine. Everything that I described; my problems that i have described over the past 4 years, she listens to me and then when i ask her to make an appointment, she asks, "Whats the problem you are having"? What kind of parenting is this...seriously? She is really really really closeminded and believes only what she wants to believe....I don't think that next time that I get into an argument with her, that I will aactually be able to control my anger and end up fighting someone, maybe even her. Is it possible to make appointments/ testing as a 17 year old? And Im in the USA btw.

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Hmm. If things are as you describe, your GP is out of line (even if he doesn't think you have it, ADD is obviously not exclusive to children, and it's inappropriate for him to tell a patient he doesn't have a condition just because in his opinion the condition is overdiagnosed).

So, since your mom won't take you to a psychiatrist, can you ask her to see another GP? Don't see how it could hurt to get a second opinion. And another doc might listen better.

Have you told any of these doctors about your anger and violent thoughts? Regardless any diagnosis, I hope you find someone who can help you work through what's going on in your life.

Neuropsych testing is pretty difficult to come by (as far as I can tell), also pretty expensive. So you might have some trouble there. But there are other things you can do as a 17 year old - maybe talk to a school couselor or a teacher (make an appointment and ask if you can discuss a personal matter - that way they are prepared; many teachers are really sympathetic and want to help their students however they can). I think it's more pressing to get some help with your unhappiness, anger, and violent thoughts than to get a neurological assessment.

Sounds like you're in a really tough spot, and I feel for you. 17 is hard enough.

Once again, I am really ticked off and just want to beat the living **** out of my close-minded mom. All I do is ask her to make a neuropsychologist appointment and right away she starts ranting about how everything is fine and everything my General Doctor says should be listened to. This doctor...ONLY TAKES HER SIDE, not mine. Everything that I described; my problems that i have described over the past 4 years, she listens to me and then when i ask her to make an appointment, she asks, "Whats the problem you are having"? What kind of parenting is this...seriously? She is really really really closeminded and believes only what she wants to believe....I don't think that next time that I get into an argument with her, that I will aactually be able to control my anger and end up fighting someone, maybe even her. Is it possible to make appointments/ testing as a 17 year old? And Im in the USA btw.

538953475734Y5347657346534Y34BFY4UBFY4BF4UYBFERHBF SEHBFUHSDBFSDUHBFSEHBFSJHBFHSUDBFSUHDBFSDHBDUHSDBF HSDBFHSDBFSDUHBFSBFBRHR237TH347HGF34UYNGFJH SDFJNSDBVJHSDFBVJHSDBIVUSDBFJKSDBNVKFJVBKJVBFJGVBJ VBKJGBKJBI'm with you SPM....parents..they seem to think their kids are perfect....can you see the doc or a different one by yourself..and make an appointment to see the school doc too..

hugs
xxx

Well she is about to schedule an appointment with a psychologist( same as neuropsychologist or uh what do I do?). Im on the verge of suicide nearly, but what keeps holding me back is how my parents spoil me with luxuries such as buying me an expensive car and I don't want them to feel sad when I 'croak'. Everytime I make a mistake I just keep thinking about this and yet, my mom rejects this. Guess I'll have to wait till im 18 to get assisstance from a doctor... I really do not enjoy life..

Guess I'll have to wait till im 18 to get assisstance from a doctor...
Sorry, didn't mean to imply this is the case. You CAN see a doctor on your own before you're 18. Paying for a doctor is the hard part, whatever your age. That's why it might be easier to seek advice from a teacher/counselor - he/she can advocate on your behalf, perhaps speaking to your mother or otherwise helping you find medical resources.

Well she is about to schedule an appointment with a psychologist( same as neuropsychologist or uh what do I do?)
I don't quite understand, are you asking if psychologist = neuropsychologist? Or is this guy a psychiatrist? Either way, sounds like a plan. You are about to receive the medical assistance you are looking for, no?

Im on the verge of suicide nearly
My heart really goes out to you. Please, please make sure you tell the doctor (or whatever the guy your mom made an appointment with is) about these feelings.

Testing isn't hard to come by. Look for PsychoEducational Testing, alternately.

Since we don't have a city or state or even country, in Shake's profile, it's hard to narrow down whereabouts s/he should look for testing, i guess.

Makes me crazy. THey will buy you a car, but not get you Testing.

Testing isn't hard to come by. Look for PsychoEducational Testing, alternately.
I stand corrected, I found a bunch in my area. What I was thinking of earlier was finding resources for adults, not children, which doesn't help the OP much (duh, he has exactly the opposite problem). You still have to pay though, no?

I live in the United States, state of Maryland in the city of Rockville. My mom is afraid of allowing me to try anti-depressants because she says they're really bad for me and there are more negatives than positives. She is believes anti-depressants will never help and shes afraid to allow me to try other meds . I tried Lexapro but it didnt help out at all. I took 6 pills of Adderall 25XR; one pill each day for 6 six days and i would say those were the best days of my life because of how much it helped. Note: I got it from a friend and I was just curious to see if it would actually work but I don't plan on telling anyone including my doctor because of the way you sometimes can't trust anyone in this world including my mom.

Hey there shakepurmake,

Did your doctor prescribe the Lexapro? How long were you on it? Did you have your mom's "okay" to be on it? Sorry to ask so many questions, but there is a lot you can do to advocate for yourself, and I am just curious to find out what you have done so far. I do understand when it comes to non-supportive parents, been there, done that...

Have you been to your counties local mental health clinic? There should be one for your county, which should have a psychologist who does Neuropsych testing (and if not, they certainly could refer you to one). Do you have a therapist? It certainly sounds as if you could use one. I would also advocate calling a hotline if you continue to have thoughts of suicide or homicide. Life can be so much better if you reach out for the help that your mom doesn't seem to realise that you need. Here are some numbers and websites for you:



<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=657 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle width=656><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=300 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=250 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle width=249 height=18>ROCKVILLE

</TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle width=249 height=17>Serving Montgomery County

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

<CENTER><TABLE height=60 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=263 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle width=263 height=20>Montgomery County Hotline (http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/hhstmpl.asp?url=/content/hhs/civs/index.asp)

</TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle width=263 height=20>Montgomery County
Mental Health Association (http://www.mhamc.org/)</TD></TR><TR><TD width=263 height=20>

<CENTER>24 hours / 7 days </CENTER></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></CENTER><CENTER><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=10 width=270 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD width=269>

(240) 777-4000

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></CENTER><CENTER>I hope things start turning around for you, and please keep in touch.</CENTER><CENTER> </CENTER><CENTER> </CENTER><CENTER> </CENTER><CENTER> </CENTER><CENTER> </CENTER></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Ok I hate the hobbies I am doing almost everyday. PLaying sports bores the crap out of me or watching it also bores me because of the mental effort it takes me whereas video games and movies and the internet take no effort. Each day I day-dream in school and I think of the things that I want to do like learn how to play the drums, guitar, learn more about computer programming (oh yeah when I was taking Computer Programming Level 1, my mind was completely blank; I did not what the hell to do or how to do what we were supposed to program, basically, I could not think logically) and by the time I got home, I would basically just forget about the things I would want to learn because of the effort it would take me. I just seem like such a boring person; I can't learn a hobby nor have I learned much and I don't feel like socializing most of the time because of way I can't stay focused on a conversation. I don't know if this is related to ADD or not or sumthing else...

For the Lexapro, my mom let me take like 7 days worth and then she starts flipping out and then just stopped giving me the med. Shes scared because of just one, one experience that scared her of some kid because prescribed an antidepressant and he was in a zombified state.

I don't know what to do anymore, everytime I bring the topic of something being wrong with me, my mom starts screaming her head off and just denying all the problems im telling her.

This sucks period.

Am I right to say that most cases of ADD Inattentive aren't diagnosed until adulthood? Most parents would just think their child is a good boy/girl. My family did the same, completely ignoring the fact that I've been behaving associally all my life. Studying wasn't a problem for me until halfway through highschool. I studied more than the other students yet I got worse grades. I'd figure that most ADD'ers who reach that point would just consider themselves slow learners?

Ok I hate the hobbies I am doing almost everyday. PLaying sports bores the crap out of me or watching it also bores me because of the mental effort it takes me whereas video games and movies and the internet take no effort. Each day I day-dream in school and I think of the things that I want to do like learn how to play the drums, guitar, learn more about computer programming (oh yeah when I was taking Computer Programming Level 1, my mind was completely blank; I did not what the hell to do or how to do what we were supposed to program, basically, I could not think logically) and by the time I got home, I would basically just forget about the things I would want to learn because of the effort it would take me. I just seem like such a boring person; I can't learn a hobby nor have I learned much and I don't feel like socializing most of the time because of way I can't stay focused on a conversation. I don't know if this is related to ADD or not or sumthing else...OMG I'm exactly like you! There's tons of things I want to do but somehow I can't because of the mental effort, so I just keep playing videogames and surfing the net doing nothing with my life at all!

I don't ever feel like socializing too even though I want to make lots of friends, it's killing me. And whenever people say more than a few sentences to me I just get lost in the conversation.

Everything you said in the op sounds exactly like me. I couldn't believe my eyes that I didn't write it myself. I've been looking for someone with the exact same problems as me and I finally found someone.

I haven't been tested for ADD but will do that pretty soon. Please don't leave this forum, we could help eachother out if we find something out. I'm in my first year of college and I'm pretty sure I will fail. I need to get out of this mess before the next school year or I will just screw up again.


I don't know what to do anymore, everytime I bring the topic of something being wrong with me, my mom starts screaming her head off and just denying all the problems im telling her.
Get your doctor to prescribe you Ritalin. I only took it during an exam period, but I remember being extremely motivated. I could get anything done in no time. I learned twice as fast and even enjoyed doing it.

Shake, I know this has been on ongoing issue for you. How soon till you turn 18? Here's a link to a specialist located in Maryland:

http://www.baltimorepsych.com/Stimulants.htm

Click on Carol Watkins, M.D.

Some really good info and their office is in Baltimore I believe. Maybe you could print off some of the material and share with your mom. On the other hand, this may be something that you will need to deal with yourself since your mom has not been very helpful. Good luck.

Get your doctor to prescribe you Ritalin. I only took it during an exam period, but I remember being extremely motivated. I could get anything done in no time. I learned twice as fast and even enjoyed doing it.How would I get him/her to do that? Wouldn't I seem like...a bit off a druggy if I request for it? Also, theres the problem of convincing my mom as well. Yeah with the studying thing though, I sure as hell spend like hours studying and end up still getting a D/C where 95% of the class ends up doing better than me without studying. Worst thing is, my SAT is in March and i know for a fact that I will end up with a low score even while taking an individual tutoring course/ preparation/studying for it. I ended up getting like a 1450/2400 when taking a practice SAT, the entire thing.

I did take Adderall and I was much more interested in learning during that 7 day period of taking it, unlike the 7 days of taking lexapro. Kinda seems like a placebo effect though, the Adderall I too...hmm. Also, while I took the Adderall f(got it from my friend) I wanted to just quit doing weed/alcohol like every weekend with several of my friends; I just felt guilty doing that stuff and that there is much more to life than that crap. And since Im not taking Adderall anymore, ive been stopping but the weed/drinking offers me a higher stimulation in life. Sure videogames increase it by a large amount but eventually i get bored and just need more to keep myself from being bored to death. And on the socializing topic, my girlfriend broke up with me because of how much I was boring to talk to. Like I had no emotion or something.


Oh yeah, I turn 18 november of 2008.

Sorry, I missed your post about Adderal. It's just like Ritalin, but one works better for some than the other. I can tell you we get the same effect though, those 2 weeks I took Ritalin were the best weeks of my life and that was during an exam period, so that should say a lot.

btw are you sure you're not a bit restless? I always seem to move my hands and legs and changing my position when sitting and I just can't keep still while standing. I never paid much attention to it myself, but my doctor and neurologist said I could have ADHD just because of that (I didn't tell them, they just noticed I was doing that and I wasn't nervous or anything). I also asked my friends and family if I was always like this and they said yes even though they never mentioned it before! Now I know combined type is also a possibility but I'll let the psychiatrist decide about that.

It's so frustrating when all my parents can say about my childhood is how good of a boy I was completely ignoring the fact that I was a really weird and asocial child.

Yeah actually, i cant stand sitting or standing still. I need to be doing sumthing. Once again, i call my mom and tell her to make an appointment with a neuropsychologist and shes already being close-minded, "Did sumthing happen to you at school today? Are you feeling alright?" is what she is asking after i end up telling her for the 500th time of my everyday problems. I cant stand dealing with all this bs she gives me. Godamnit.

I have the exact same problem with my mom. Try ask her about your childhood, you were probably just a very good boy too ;)

shakepurmake, don't think you're the only on with crazy parents. I talked to my parents and they will be in denial for the rest of their lives, even if I get diagnosed with the same disorder by multiple professionals. "Psychiatrists and psychologists are crazy, they always make the wrong diagnosis, they're just after your money" they say. My brother got diagnosed with bipolar last month and after so many arguements it looks like they'll never believe it.

First thing I'll do when I have my diploma: move out and never show my face again. Well, maybe once a year.

I don't understand how you were prescribed ritalin. Did you just go to your doctor by urself or with your parents?

My doctor easily prescribed Ritalin to study for an exam. More doctors do that in Belgium, but not a lot. He's not my doctor anymore though, it's a long story. It's gonna be hard to get Ritalin now for my upcoming exams, that's gonna be a huge problem because of my concentration and memory problems. Since college is much more difficult and my depression got worse, I'm fearing the worst.

You should be able to get your hands on Ritalin if you know someone with ADHD who's taking it. At least that's how things go in Belgium. I don't see why you'd try that if Adderal had such a good effect on you. They're both amphetamines, there's hardly a difference.

The thing is, im in the US. Doctors are practically completely against prescribing teens such as myself, a 17 year old kid, Ritalin for exams. I tried Adderall b/c I got it from a friend, but I can't tell that to my doctor because he would probably just mark me up as a drug addict and not prescribe me anything.

If you're sure you'll have medication in a few weeks, try drinking lots of energy drinks. It helps me a bit (though Ritalin worked much better). I wouldn't advice you doing this for a long time, it's extremely bad for your teeth and you'll get used to it after a while, eventually wearing off.

btw are you still restless when you're doing something that's mentally stimulating? I do seem to be able to keep still while playing videogames or surfing the net. It's not that I imagine being restless either, others tell me I've been this way my whole life, I just never paid much attention to it.

Yeah, I ended up drinking a lot of energy drinks even though its bad for your cardiovascular system. Honestly, I really could not care about my health because life is bad as it is now for me and I'll do whatever the hell I need to make my life my happier. Now I drink coffee every day to keep myself more awake anyway. On the restless part, I eventually do keep my foot moving, so yeah im restless 50% of the time while on the computer.