I'm pretty sure the answer to my question will be "yes"---that isolation has played a part in our ADD behavior at some time or another.

This last year or so, as I've learned more about my brain wiring, foot in mouth disease, and other traits that I now know to be annoying, I feel like I'm creating a self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent. Like I anticipate that I'll say the wrong thing. Like maybe what I thought was funny before really wasn't?

And so I isolate myself (and come up with all kinds of great reasons why I love it). I will always love my alone time, but too much is not a good thing. So, anyway, that's what I'm struggling with now. Any thoughts on how to break what's becoming a habit?


Thanks a bunch!

I relate...I find it taxing my energy to be with people sometimes. I have my pet routines at home; watching and taping my favorite shows, eating my favorite foods, combining them together...my favorite movies. The lonliness is a problem. Sometime I call a dating line just to freely talk to people.

For me, being alone lets me control one more aspect of my environment (reducing external stimulation). Being alone can be a comfort to someone who has a hard time dealing with overwhelming stimuli (like ADDers). So, the way to break out of that rut, perhaps, is to work on some strategies for dealing with all that outside "stuff". One way I have learned to do that, is by hyperfocusing on one thing.

I love being alone. And thankfully my family understands this. They give me, me time everyday, or I become Broom Hilda and they wished they would of left me alone. :D I get over whelmed at times when I get to much stimuli. I've been this way since I was a baby. Didn't want to be held or cuddled. I still can't stand to cuddle at night in bed. I feel trapped. Oh and let me get locked in a small tight place, I go nuts. Crowds are hard for me also. Part of the reason I think being around crowds is due to the fact I pick up on peoples emotions and thoughts. There are some really scarry people out there. Very Greedy, vendictive people.

I am so thankful that I now live out in the country surrounded by nothing but trees, river and creek. I love nature and it doesn't put major demands on us. I lived in Wichita a few years ago and it was way to big of a city, (shudders at what living in LA or something like that would feel like) I coward in my house so much that I even felt uncomfortable about being outside in the yard.

I'm getting better at this, I was able to go to the Missouri Picnic last year, and enjoyed myself so much, I can't wait until this years. I also know that there will be numerous people here in June and that has me a little worried, as I worry how others judge me.

Hopeful I will get over this one day and if not. Oh well, I still have my trees. :D

I love being alone. It it is easier and you don't have to worry about explaining yourself to anyone else. And with the tourettes, I am free to tic as I please.

I also am an only child and an only grand child on both sides of the family, so it is something I am very use to anyway.

Yes I like to get out and do things, but only when I am ready and when things are just right.......just right meaning, the OCD comes into play.........

There is so much I would love to do.........and I just can't seem to figure out why I haven't other than financial reasons.

There are time when I really enjoy being alone and there are other times that I feel the needs to be alone. I don't do well in large groups situations and I can only handle being with other people for short periods of time.

Sometimes it's awful when I have friends or acquaintances that are the opposite.

Well I think you're breaking it already. :)

Although onlinedom is never a real life interaction you come and go as you please yet you open yourself up to communication with other people.

As for isolation I don't view it as much as a problem or limitation if I now when I SHOULD be social.

Or I hang around people who are forgiving! ^.^ For that I have great friends in which I do not hesitate throwing myself into the friendship every once in a while

Good topic, Sandi! I think the high intuition only adds to the isolation. i know i very quickly switch in to other peoples energy, it doesn't take me very long to read someone. And then once i have worked someone out i get bored with them. Seems very jugdemental and arrogant, but it's not that at all. My brain just turns off when it's not interested. Then there's the annoying habit of responding why someone is still talking, it's worse over the phone, i think the visual stimuli of seeing a person speak makes it easier to control my urge to reply too soon. I only hang around with those that "get me" or at least have empathy for the struggles of others. I have just recently stuffed up a very long term friendship by telling her about her partner 's rumored infidelity. I still think i did the right thing, but now she's not speaking to me.
Quiet frankly friendships, real genuine ones are far and few between. What is totally baffling to me is the way most so called friendships are just people hanging around with those that tell them exactly what they want to hear . The world is full of sycophants to me there is nothing more boring. If my partner was cheating on me i would want to know. I am only now realising with the benefit of some down time that i have been struggling undiagnosed all my life with this condition. Today i found a p doc that is happy to assess me what a relief is all i can say.

Cathy from Australia

For me, being alone lets me control one more aspect of my environment (reducing external stimulation). Being alone can be a comfort to someone who has a hard time dealing with overwhelming stimuli (like ADDers). So, the way to break out of that rut, perhaps, is to work on some strategies for dealing with all that outside "stuff". One way I have learned to do that, is by hyperfocusing on one thing.What he said.

See my answer in the this thread
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50550
??ADD/ADHD No Friends??

I think it fits here too.

As a true introvert, i have always self isolated. i enjoy my own company, and being alone ( for me ) does not equal being lonely. If at some point i feel a need for interaction, then i go and socialize, or just be around people in public. When i feel i've had enough, i go back home.

Luckily for me, my husband is the same way. Our house is large enough so he has his " office " on one side of the house, and can be in there doing his own thing while i am on the other side in the livingroom doing my thing. Throughout the day when he is home, i go in to see him for a bit to chat, give hugs and kisses...and then go back to my own space. He does the same with me. It works for us very well.

i dont think it would work between us if one of us was an extrovert or needed to be in the other's space all the time. Always having someone wanting to spend ALL his time with me would make me crazy, and he's the same way.

I've been a loner all my life. My mom said that as
an infant, as soon as I had developed the muscle
coordination to turn my head and stick my arm
out, I started pushing people away.

Nothing really wrong with being a loner, except that
sometimes I'll end up all caught up in my own little
world and start losing perspective. That's not good.

For an easy way to get involved with people,
volunteer at something. Anything.

Believe me, a helping hand is always needed. You
get to choose what to do, can limit how much to
be involved, stop and take a break anytime - the
possibilities are endless. You'll meet some fabulous
people. And, yes, some not-so-great people but
that's ok. I've learned a lot more about myself from
those kind of folks anyway.

Trust me on this - you give a little of your time and
company and end up getting so much more in return
than you could possibly imagine.

I agree with Silicone about vollunteering, great idea. Before I took this downhill plunge I was the director of a non-profit. This was a vollunteer position, the only thing I didnt like was I didnt have control over my time spent and it was very, very demanding of me. I intend to do vollunteer work again but not to where it takes over. It is a great way to meet people.

It's actually wasn't so bad until they padlocked my padded cell and tightened the straight-jacket. ;)

Hang in there!

Oh cripes .... they're putting me on suicide watch again. :(

I find when I'm on medication or when its starting to wear off... i want to be around people. I want to contribute to a conversation. I want to interact.


When I'm not on it, i'm not stressed if I'm around people all the time. I dont worry that "hey soon i'll have to head home... then i wont have anyone to interact with..."

i enjoy going to tutes at uni when I'm on dex as i can actively participate... i often find myself checking the time because i dont want the class to end.

I also tout volunteering. Remember the root of volunteer is voluntary. It's a good way to pick up some social time while knowing you are also doing good. Pace yourself. It's counter-productive if you end up burning out.

Any thoughts on how to break what's becoming a habit?

Hey - I use a program called Neoro Programmer to help change certain acpect of my life. I've read up quite a bit on the power of thought and how the unconscious VS the conscious brain work. It's not a mircle solution, but it does help speed things up a little.

http://www.transparentcorp.com/products/np/index.php

There's a 15 day trail, so if you have an hour a day, give it a shot!

This would be a problem for anyone who is facing this.I find some good points which may be helpful to you.
Behavioral therapy can help control aggression, modulate social behavior, and regulate attention and physical movements. This approach encourages and rewards teens for proper behaviors. Cognitive therapy ideally teaches those with ADHD greater self‑control, self-guidance, and more thoughtful and efficient problem‑solving strategies.
When coupled with cognitive therapy and medication, social skills training helps teenagers understand and smooth out difficult social behaviors. Social skills training uses reinforcement strategies and rewards for appropriate behavior. Through this approach, teens learn to generalize behavior, that is, to apply one set of social rules to other situations.
Social skills training can help adolescents learn to evaluate social situations and adjust their behavior accordingly. This can also be learned through group therapy because youngsters of this age are especially likely to benefit from such group interactions with their peers. Despite such programs, however, youngsters with ADHD may continue to have socialization problems, which can be quite painful for the adolescent who is seeking acceptance from peers.
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/publication_store/your_adolescent_attention_deficit/hyperactivity_disorder_adhd

Good topic, Sandi! I think the high intuition only adds to the isolation. i know i very quickly switch in to other peoples energy, it doesn't take me very long to read someone. And then once i have worked someone out i get bored with them. Seems very jugdemental and arrogant, but it's not that at all. My brain just turns off when it's not interested. Then there's the annoying habit of responding why someone is still talking, it's worse over the phone, i think the visual stimuli of seeing a person speak makes it easier to control my urge to reply too soon. I only hang around with those that "get me" or at least have empathy for the struggles of others. I have just recently stuffed up a very long term friendship by telling her about her partner 's rumored infidelity. I still think i did the right thing, but now she's not speaking to me.
Quiet frankly friendships, real genuine ones are far and few between. What is totally baffling to me is the way most so called friendships are just people hanging around with those that tell them exactly what they want to hear . The world is full of sycophants to me there is nothing more boring. If my partner was cheating on me i would want to know. I am only now realising with the benefit of some down time that i have been struggling undiagnosed all my life with this condition. Today i found a p doc that is happy to assess me what a relief is all i can say.

Cathy from Australia


I actually decided to register here and reply to this thread after reading what you've put here, because I can relate to pretty much every word of it (besides the doctor part and the fact that you're Cathy from Australia, haha). Seriously, that is me to a T and it's nice that I'm not the only one that feels that way. Sometimes I find myself totally bored with people, yet I've always wondered if that makes me arrogant. It's just always been easy for me to figure someone out and get frustrated with the familiarity of the patterns that everyone seems to share. I'm very analytical so maybe that contributes to it. Most friendships to me just seem to me these associations that people make between eachother in order to have someone to toss approval back and forth with. I mean, a lot of people's opinions and thoughts on each other really fluctuate depending on who's listening. It all amounts to static to me. I do get out plenty, but I avoid clubs and parties because all the overcompensation being tossed around vexes me to no end in those situations. I usually find myself around the same circle of friends that I've had for a while.

I've been a loner all my life. My mom said that as
an infant, as soon as I had developed the muscle
coordination to turn my head and stick my arm
out, I started pushing people away.




My mom said the same thing about me. I guess I just never wanted to be held or cuddled and wanted to just do my own thing since the moment I was able to. With that said, I wish more than anything that I could be an outgoing, social butterfly, but I'm just not. I tend to withdrawl in large settings because if more than one thing is going on while in conversation with people, I feel panicked and wonder if I can hear what the people are saying (odd, I know) and I start losing bits and pieces of what people are saying and then I eventually end up being out of the loop as to what's going on. When that happens, I just feel so alone and withdrawn that sometimes I feel better in small settings, or just being by myself. I fear what comes out of my mouth, stumbling over my sentances and making myself feel like an ***.

I don't think I really want to be isolated, but in reality, I am a bit.:(

I don't have much interest in people for themselves. I never really minded being isolated, actually I enjoy it- and only recently have I started to view this as unusual or possbly a problem of some kind.

I was a popular kid up to about 12 yrs, but never really grew up socially and didn't fit in after that. A few friends since but not for long. I tend to avoid people now.

I like to have social interaction, but only in small group. With my med, I feel a bit isolated, I tend to think twice before talking, which is mostly a good thing. This isolation feeling is easily compensated with the quality of my social relations.

As someone said above, I feel overwhelmed with stimuli, mostly at the end of the day. I really love the moments the kids are sleeping, my wife is out for a walk and I am alone. I just turned off the TV, no music, lights dimmed. This is my special loneliness moment.

A good balance between isolation and social gathering is in my opinion a healthy way of life.