View Full Version : I Might Have Bipolar...


4gotAgain
11-24-07, 09:23 PM
I have been diagnosed with ADHD both types but not taking medication. Mainly because my step-mum is against it. I dont live with my parents, im flatting with my brother.
My friend thinks I have bipolar and I think I might as well. My moods change all the time. I cant sleep at night and stay up listening to music, dancing, going on the computer but there are days when I cant get up and stay in bed. My life is just screwed up. I am always daydreaming as well, its almost like im not living this life, the lifes just living me. That might not make sense lol. I have this birdseye view of my life. Its crazy and not how I want to be. Even my eating patterns go up and down. Il have days when I eat nothing then the next il eat quite a bit, then 2 days off eating etc. Im losing weight tho quite quickly. I think that soon il have no place to live. My internet bill this month is going to go thru the roof and i know i wont be able to pay it. Im just screwed up and thats all i can say. please help me somehow?

Matt S.
11-24-07, 09:27 PM
We are here for support, and honestly it sounds like you may have a type of bipolar disorder, it is common, the thing is that if you want your life to improve you have to see a doctor and be willing to take medication regardless of who is against it, for both conditions, welcome to the cycling team section keep us posted.

4gotAgain
11-24-07, 09:29 PM
Thanks. I am going to ring him up tomorrow and Il go see him on Monday or Tuesday. I have had a few mental kind of problems. I have had anorexia, bulimia and overeating.

pedalpounder
11-24-07, 11:35 PM
Let me say something about your step-mom being against meds... I'll assume that she's a nice person, smart, wise and wants the best for you.

And here's the thing, it's very easy to be prejudiced about medicine and just about anything else in fact. And here's the key thing: people learn from their own experiences. Their experiences is all they have to make decisions and guide others. And so, if she sees you act a certain way, say, you feel emotionally exhausted because of being bored out of your mind at work. And then in a conversation with you, the topic of ADHD and medication comes up. Here's how she'll think: "Well, I've been bored at work before, I mean bored out of my mind at a job for years even! But I coped in such and such way, I didn't need meds, so why should she? I just need to help her understand" Or, if she's exasperated with you, she may think "Jeez, *I* was bored throughout my entire career, and I frikkin' coped with it, I mean, you need perseverance, girl!"

See what I'm saying? People are against meds because they survived without them just fine. "Hey, I'm weak and I made it through okay without, so why shouldn't she?" Well, this statement sounds logical, but there's a huge fallacy. And the fallacy is in thinking that the other person experiences life the same way that you do. This is a huge and extremely common mistake that people do. People are very different even when they seem alike. But what else can you do but judge others by your own experiences?

And so, people should just not judge others at all, cause the fact is you don't know what they're going through, even if you think you do. Some meds work for some and doesn't work for others, and just that should be indication enough that people's brain chemistries indeed are very different, and that that always 'cheery and happy' person in your life just so happens to have been blessed with a hyperactive dopamine secreting brain. One person's experience is NEVER statistically significant. The odds are that any one experience is likely to be in the 'majority' camp however, and so people tend to erroneously connect the dots by connecting similarities between themselves and the person they are judging and create a judgement / complete the picture based on their experience strengthened by the traits and reactions to events they've had in common.

I don't know if I'm making any sense at all, but I guess my point is even if your step mom probably wants all the best for you, meds exist for a reason, they are not WRONG to take, they are not cheating, it is not a weakness or a cop-out. They exist to help people who just so happen to be suffering more than the average person. It's just that the 'average person' just can't measure your suffering, because they can only compare you against themselves and how they would react or feel.

So, trust yourself, and get thee to a doctor. And you'll start feeling better and you'll see a world of opportunity open up to you.

Life is not horrible. People are not evil, corrupted or selfish, self-centered jerks in sheep's clothing. It's easy to feel that way when you're depressed. But that's just it, it's a FEELING, and your feelings are regulated by the chemistry in your head which is out of whack. The right med and dosage will just move you from out of whack to 'in whack'... or something like that.

Point is, trust yourself. Don't trust what other people say about how YOU feel, and don't give in to other people's prejudices.

4gotAgain
11-24-07, 11:43 PM
Yeah I do agree with what you are saying. Doin nothing about isnt working for me at the moment. I am too busy listening to waht other people tell me to do and not trusting my own feelings and instincts.
Ive arleady been thinking about booking a doctors appointment. So I will do.
Thank you.

Matt S.
11-25-07, 08:15 AM
You don't even have to tell them that you take meds.

maori_boy
11-25-07, 08:17 AM
hey 4got..hope things get better 4 u ay. PM me anytime, i dont have bipolar but um I can be interesting to talk to...sometimes! ;)

chur!

4gotAgain
12-04-07, 12:32 AM
yeah im flatting with my bro at the moment. I want to move away. Maybe rent an apartment right in the city or move to another city. My family love me alot and really care for me but I need some independence so I can rely on myself for once..

4gotAgain
12-06-07, 12:36 AM
I feel real shiet at the moment. I really don't know why either, thats the weirdest thing. Just all these mood changes all the time. I get these weird times of suicidal feelings. It's scarey. I'm kinda going through one of those stages at the moment. I feel guilty because I'm making my family be all worried about me. I just screw everyone up.

4gotAgain
12-07-07, 12:35 PM
Had a weird day yesterday, I was all over the place. It was my bday and it started real crap, real depressed and I got snappy at my mum and nana even though they were being nice to me. Like they got me clothes and food shopping. I don't know why ?? I acted a bit like a spoilt brat?
Then last night I went out for dinner and to the movies and I was happy as. Then I got really hyper and stayed up all night. now I am a bit down again.
I was talking to my bro about it and he said I don't have Bipolar but I don't tell him half of the thoughts I go through. Like how bad the depression gets sometimes. And the days I just don't get out of bed.
Still feel like I am kind of alone maybe? and something to be ashamed of?

4gotAgain
12-10-07, 09:06 AM
Not that anyone reads this or gives a sheit but tomorow I'm booking an apointment at the doctors. Things are just getting to scarey. I think im seeing things lol. and yeah very deep depressing thoughts n all that. but anyhow go back to reading the interesting stuff.

Spongedaddy
12-10-07, 09:22 AM
Notice what your mind is doing to you...I care what happens to you and so do a lot of people here. One thing to remember is that many of us here can have days where we are burning in our own mess. So we might not respond right away or at all, but we are all connected here.

You are having a very rough go of it right now. If you can please keep focused on getting better. It sounds like you are reaching an intensity level and you must let them know that this is close to emergency territory. If you find yourself thinking of doing harm please please please go to the Emergency Room right away.

Let us know how you are feeling later and what happens.

4gotAgain
12-10-07, 09:31 AM
Ok thanks im calling the doctors tomorow.
Sorry yea i know you all care just my mind playing tricks on me.

~boots~
12-10-07, 10:35 AM
we care :-)
we read...we may not always answer though..

4gotAgain
12-10-07, 10:45 AM
yeah sorry to be accusing you all.

~boots~
12-10-07, 11:10 AM
no worries ;) we all think that at one time or another ...

Spongedaddy
12-10-07, 10:29 PM
How did things go?

Leah
12-10-07, 10:42 PM
yeah 4got, did you get to see a doc?

and pedalpounder, great post.

4gotAgain
12-11-07, 12:05 AM
I am going with my nana in a few days. Its mainly for my ADHD and meds but I will mention the bipolar as well. It may just be my ADHD that is getting me so down.

~boots~
12-11-07, 02:17 AM
keep us up-to-date :-)

justhope
12-11-07, 10:01 AM
Hi 4Got...

Andrew posted a mood tracker....perhaps if you keep one it might help.

https://www.bipolaroptions.com/gr/Mood_Tracker.pdf


While there are mild episodes of depression and some mood swings associated with ADD, the key is the severity and the length they last. If there is a clear pattern...it's key to get a diagnoses. While I am open to people not being medicated for ADD if they function ( I have 2 children who have it who are not medicated at this point in thier life, good grades and no major behavioral issues) my son and myself don't have a choice, and the Bipolar is not a choice to take meds. The disease is progressive. So please see if you can track your moods, and take this to the doctor.

Let us know how it goes!


Hope

4gotAgain
12-12-07, 07:52 AM
I'm off to the doctor as soon as I can get a day off work. I am definitely going back on the Ritalin. My nana agrees that it's a good choice as well. I have definite mood changes and when my depression gets really severe, have been suicidal and at one stage thought I was seeing things. I don't know if that has anything to do with Bipolar.
I'll let you guys knows.
Thanks!

Spongedaddy
12-12-07, 09:10 AM
I'm off to the doctor as soon as I can get a day off work. I am definitely going back on the Ritalin. My nana agrees that it's a good choice as well. I have definite mood changes and when my depression gets really severe, have been suicidal and at one stage thought I was seeing things. I don't know if that has anything to do with Bipolar.
I'll let you guys knows.
Thanks!
I am no doctor, but there is a strong potential that you are BiPolar in which case you may need to treat that first. Sometimes the BP treatment can also help with the ADHD.

4gotAgain
12-12-07, 09:13 AM
ok thanks. I will mention it definitely to my doctor. My nana is still understanding my ADHD so I won't ask the doctor about it directly. It might make it a bit much to take.