My 11 yo daughter has been on Adderall XR for a month.

We see changes in her at home but the teacher doesn't see any changes. I am wondering, about this.

I know that the meds are not the "magic" that solves all the problems. Could it be that she has picked up bad habits in class that now need to be addressed by us and the teacher ?

I think that she needs to understand more about ADD and how it affects her life, as well as what she needs to do work with it.

She seems to like to try and multi task - listen to the teacher and draw . That is now getting in the way of her keeping up with her work at school. She is missing some important details to do the work and her grades are starting to dip.

She can focus. When she wants to. I have talked with her today about try this and encouraged her to try to stay on task and focused on what the teacher is teaching.

She is in 5th grade and at this point, the teacher doesn't think that she is ready to handle middle school - changing teachers and classrooms etc...

She also seems to be caught up in the world of fantasy. I don't have a problem with her enjoying these things,. But she is so focused on her favorite fantasy books and website that she tries to talk about it to everyone that comes into her life. She dives right into the middle of a detailed conversation about these things without checking to see if the person she is talking to understands what she is talking about. Not everyone knows or cares to know about the details of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Neopets.

She does not connect well with others because of her limited focus. I am thinking of finding and extracurricular activity in town wher she can connect with other kids and have a common interest through the class to talk with and relate with the kids about. I am wondering if she is escaping into the fantasy world for a reason. . .

Any feedback is welcomed

Bonnie

I was exactly like this when I was that age.

To a T.

I don't know what to advise you. It was hard. I used to draw and read in class too.

It did make school difficult... when I knew the material, I succeeded when the teachers left me alone. When I didn't know the material, I succeeded when I had "conservative" teachers who forced me to stay on topic and micromanaged me... but they had to do it in a very patient and polite and understanding way, or I balked and refused to cooperate.

Does she have any friends she CAN talk to about fantasy?

I never have given up my love and need for it.

Bonnie, We went thru exactly the samething with our son who is now in the fourth grade. Extracurricular activities helped tremendously. We also implemented other strategies that may or may not work. So in the immortal words of Wheezie "take what you need and leave the rest".

First of all we had a sit down meeting with our son, his teacher's and ourselves. His teacher explained to him that he was falling behind and was not going to be able to move forward with his classmates. My son then informed us he was extremely bored and proved time and again he knew the information. The next week the school had him tested sure enough he is advanced. He is now in the same class due to the size of our school; but, he completes eighth grade level work while the other's do fourth. While this may not be your daughter's dilemma it is worth looking into and she possibly needs to hear from her teacher that she may be on a fast track to repeating the school year over. Also your daughter may need a individual teaching plan to make sure she thrives.

Another step we took was to retrain his behaviours. Daydreaming while nice and sometime's a much needed break from reality has a place and school is NOT it. I'm not going to lie to you and make it sound easy. It's hard but the pay off is well worth it.

Dakota's fixation was with Pokeman' *rolls eyes*. We decided to see if community service would benefit him here. The first thing I did was start a reading program at the nursing home I work at (a very easy task as the elderly love children and will listen to just about any story just to be around them). This not only benefitted his reading ability; but, made him more outgoing and his conversation skills improved greatly. Luckily for him making people feel good was like a drug, he is hooked.

We have also found that limiting the time he is allowed to watch t.v. (I know not an easy task) has helped alot. T.V. and the computer have become rewards in our house NOT a given.

Responsibility was the hardest to teach. Responsibility for their action's, for their property; but, most of all for themselves. We sat down and discussed chores they could perform. This earning them tickets for 15 minute intervals of television or computer time. I don't know about your daughter but my kid's love the computer. This benefits not only the children but myself as I now have help around the house.

Last but not least and the hardest of them all. Follow thru another words no giving in just this one time. Consistancy, communication and consequences are the key in my humble opinion.

I hope my reply has in someway helped you. ANd remember ADD children change daily what works one day won't work another; Do not give up just have a back up plan ready.

Many prayers for you and your daughter
Cherity

>Does she have any friends she CAN talk to about fantasy?

She talks about it with her 13 yo brother and 9 yo sister and 5 yo sister. There is a 9 yo boy that comes over to our house most after school too and they talk about this too.There is also a girl and her class that is into Lord of the Rings that she has talked with. so I think that she has enough talk time with people about this.

The problem that i see, is that people eventually want to talk about something else and she will let the topic start but than drift back to her topic eventually since she seems to have no interest in what they are talking about. That's a big turn off for trying to having a conversation with her, never mind having a friendship.

<I don't know what to advise you. It was hard. I used to draw and read in class too.

I did too.

<I had "conservative" teachers who forced me to stay on topic and micromanaged me... but they had to do it in a very patient and polite and understanding

I am wondering if this is what is happening with her too. I know for me, when I am learning something or having a conversation, If I am walked through the conversation with out knowing the conclusion, I get frustrated with all the details and want to say, let's cut to chase what happened. Once i know that then all the details have something to hang on and it makes more sense to me.

I wonder if part of the problem is the way the information is presented to her

aaarrrg!

i just spent the last 15 minutes replying, then, i hit the reset form button instead of submit reply .... aaaaaaaaa .... must pay more attention to detail!

so, quick and dirty... main points.

you covered a lot of territory, bonnie! here's one thing i'm focusing on.

"She can focus. When she wants to. I have talked with her today about try this and encouraged her to try to stay on task and focused on what the teacher is teaching." -- lottebon

we can all focus when it's something that interests us. the trick is to focus on something *someone else* wants us to focus on! i see this as one of the main reasons kids who are so smart don't do well in school. another reason is *maintaining* focus.

try to use her interests in fantasy to engage her in topics that are less interesting to her.

if you'd like to post about which subject cause her the most problems, i'd be happy to help brainstorm ways to tie it in with her interests .... a quick example, if she is trying to learn how to diagram sentences (or something else grammar related in english class), diagram passages from lord of the rings.

<Bonnie, We went thru exactly the samething with our son who is now in the <fourth grade. Extracurricular activities helped tremendously. We also implemented <other strategies that may or may not work. So in the immortal words of <Wheezie "take what you need and leave the rest".

Cherity,
thanks, you have some great ideas. I like the reading/community service idea. She does go to a nursing home with her class for a class service project. maybe she could connect with someone their and go and read to them . . . great idea

<We have also found that limiting the time he is allowed to watch t.v. (I know <<not an easy task) has helped alot. T.V. and the computer have become rewards <in our house NOT a given.

That's a good idea, but how do I do that for one and not the others? They all love the computer - they older three - and do spend a good amount of time on it.

<Responsibility was the hardest to teach. Responsibility for their action's, for their property; but, most of all for themselves. We sat down and discussed chores they could perform. This earning them tickets for 15 minute intervals of television or computer time. I don't know about your daughter but my kid's love the computer. This benefits not only the children but myself as I now have help around the house.>

That's a great idea to consider.

Thanks so much for your post. I appreciate all the ideas .

Bonnie

Thanks wheezie for your post too - thanks for taking the time write again after losing the first one.

<we can all focus when it's something that interests us. the trick is to focus on something *someone else* wants us to focus on!>

So true, so true.

Good things to think about. How do i jumpstart her thinking with what she is interested in and then transition to what i really want hr to focus on. . . not easy . i have tried unsuccessfully to do this.


Bonnie

Lattebon sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you but I'm afraid both of my children as well as myself are ADHD. But, my sister has 2 kid's with ADHD and 3 without. So, I asked how she handles the tv situation and computer.

She say's that first of all she does not run a democracy she is a dictator (with 5 boy's I guess you would have to be lol). The rules apply to all the children unless computer time is used for school work.

We also sent a diary to school for my son to write when he was distracted we started to notice a trend. First trend that was noticed was day's chocolate was served in the caffeteria. Chocolate is a stimulant and tends to make behaviours more exaggerated. We also noticed that he was less attentive at the end of the day, his teacher switched the harder classes--math, english to the first thing and the easier classes spelling and such to the end therefore almost immediatly we noticed a difference.
It's almost like a game. You have to experiment until you find your daughter's trigger's. I wish you the best and I know it's a headache; but, we are here for you.

Cherity
p.s. If you like keep posting and if I can't come up with something new to try I guarantee you someone else will be able to.

Futs,
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate hearing what others are doing/have done with their children.

I especially liked your comments about triggers and keeping a journal on the distractions. good things to think about and look into.

<It's almost like a game. You have to experiment until you find your daughter's trigger's. I wish you the best and I know it's a headache; but, we are here for you.>

I agree with you it is like a game. I am sure that we will find the right combination that will work for her.

Thanks again! :)

Just keep in mind that thing's that work today will NOT work tommorrow; alway's, alway's have a back up plan. I know it's hard work but you will thank yourself for it later and I'm praying they will thank us also(time will tell). Hugs and good luck

Wow - you guys are thinking of such great things! I have one about TV (I'm the oldest of 6 kids myself)

My mom regulated the TV when we were little - we picked out 2 half-hour shows (for us it was always cartoons) and my mom set the vcr to tape them. Then we got to watch them in the evening and have desert... it was a bedtime ritual - which I think worked GREAT considering ADHD needs structure and ritual. Every once in a while we would vote on new cartoons or somthing (ie, when ninja turtles replaced my little ponies.... ARGG!! I WAS SO MAD!!)

but the system fell apart when we got older and my mom went back to work full time. My parents stopped regulating the tv, plus half of us were watching teenage shows and half still watched cartoons.... my youngest brothers (10 and 12) now sit around for hours on end after school without any regard for time at all. TV is a given to them - every once in a while my dad gets all mad and unplugs it, lol. it doens't work because there's no system to it at all.

Of course computers are another story... I won't even go into that becuase it's a complete disaster at my house.

anyway - the taping worked really well and I would highly reccommend it!! the reason it works so well is that you don't hav ethe temptation to keep watching the next show and the next...
plus you can skip commercials and it goes by even faster!

lol It could also be used for bribbing or as I call it "Good behaviour prize" meaning if he is well behaved at school for the week,,,he can watch his taped show's,,,I just might give it a go. Thanks for the idea

<Just keep in mind that thing's that work today will NOT work tommorrow; alway's, alway's have a back up plan. I know it's hard work but you will thank yourself for it later and I'm praying they will thank us also(time will tell). Hugs and good luck>

That's what keep me out of trouble! :)

Seriously, We had a meeting with her teacher and Tutor at their request. They think that we should have our daughter go through more testing to see if she has Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD). Reality is, if she does have NLD, then we would need to enroll her in a social skills class - since that is the biggest concern right now - to help teach her how to interact better socially with her peers. But we are already doing that for her and she is learning lots. So this shouldn't have been the focus of the meeting.

We should be working on strategies to help her use what she is learning in class.
Bottom line, the letter that we received from her teacher was pretty negative and did not address what she is doing to help Hannah in the classroom. What she has tried and what has worked and what has failed.

The Tutor actually said that we should consider homeschooling her so that we can see how frustrating she is to deal with. I know she is frustrating, but come on, these are trained professional teachers. Can't they either figure out how to work with her or get/ask for help or at least communicate this to us sooner/more often so that we can consult other people on the team who are working with Hannah to come up with a plan. This is not rocket science!


We are planning to set up a follow up meeting with the school adminstrator and the teacher to figure out all this.

How are you doing lately Lattebon?

This thread disturbs me because my soul is there beside your daughter going through everything she experiences... :( :( :(

<<How are you doing lately Lattebon?
<<This thread disturbs me because my soul is there beside your daughter going through everything she experiences..

Thanks waywardclam for your kind and caring words :)

Here's the update:
Hi,
My kids had school vacation last week and I only had enough time to shoot a response to the word association but not post here.

Thanks for asking. I am doing well. I had a very good week with my daughter last week. We had a couple of instances that were difficult but some how we made it through.

One of them was regarding cleaning her room. It's never a good time to clean her room no matter when I bring it up. I had told the kids that i would take them to see Lord of the Rings Return of the King that night if there rooms were clean that afternoon.She cleaned it and claimed that it looked better than it did before and didn't want to finish it. We went round and round on this. She was trying everything she could to not finish cleaning her room. Bottomline, she was done and did not want to do anymore. Reality was , the room was so close to being finished so I helped her do the last little bit. it got finished and that was the end of that. We all went to the movies - after dropping my 5 yo old off with daddy at work, and had a great time.

She is such an emotional person . I wonder who she gets that from . . . (of course, me!) She is so much my daughter it's amazing.

She is also a compassionate girl. We were playing the Ungame - which was a lot of fun with her - and her question was, "If you were a Dr. and could cure any disease, what would you cure?" She said that she would like to cure cancer so that she could cure John - (John is my husband's best friend who just found out he has prostrate cancer.)

We are working more closely with her teacher and have someone that we are going to consult with to advise us on where to go from here with her. We have a great team of people that we are working with to help her and it just will take sometime to figure this all out.

We are preparing to leave for two weeks to go to Disney. The kids are excited, but in a tempered way. I don't think they understand how much fun it will be! :)
So I may not be online much after this friday, but I will be back soon.

OMG how fun Disney is something my kid's to this day talk about and Lexi was only 3...Take ton's of film it's expensive there and you will be taking photo's left and right. I wish I had known I have Disney bucks I could have given you.

I'm so glad thing's are working out well for you and your daughter,,, my son is a lot like me sometimes that makes it just a little harder to deal with but can be helpful by making them easier to read.

My son was the same way with his room until we decided to redecorate it...We moved everything out and as we put it back in he decided where thing's should be put...This makes it truly his space and it's easier for him to remember were thing's go and yes there are alway's toy's on the floor but I have learned to adapt a little. As long as it's only a few and he can make it to his window and door in case of an emergency without tripping I count myself lucky.

Hugs
Cherity

Take ton's of film it's expensive there and you will be taking photo's left and right.
Actually we did one better. We have a digital camera that we picked up for this trip. The cool thing is we are bringing our laptop - Mac, of course, and we can download all the pictures from that day and do a slide show for the kids before they go to bed. Way cool!

Thanks for the idea about the bedroom. We really need to work on storage areas etc... in the bedrooms anyways.

Bonnie

We went with tupperware box thing's with lids all different sizes and colors to sort his toy's makes them easier to find. and they slide under the bed. lol We put hooks up in the closet at kiddie level for his coats and a mesh bag on his door knob for his mittens and hat (allows them to dry and are easy to find)...Also one wall is shelves from top to bottom makes for a place to keep nice thing's out of reach,,,books on middle shelves,,,stuff important to him that he want's to show off on the bottom. Ideas anyway but Koda's room is tiny.

Have so much fun you will have to come back and tell us what everyone's favorite thing was.