View Full Version : Life has It's Reasons


Draga
02-13-04, 10:04 PM
*WARNING* - content that may be graphic or upsetting to sensitive people in the following post
[warning inserted by waywardclam on melanie's request]



In the past two years I was close to death's clutches, but still here I am to tell my tale of survival. Having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder....I remember them very well. Almost like it was just yestuday.


The first time was a suicide attempt, I had sever depression over losing my father and my boyfriend at the time( You know him as the exnightmare) was slowly destroying my mind with his accusastions of cheating on him and his lies(I think it was lies) of wanting to be with other women and comments of how he had the perfect body and I could never messure up to him. When dad was alive, I ignored his warnings of people who would hurt me..I had a large burden of guilt. With what Mr. Exnightmare was doing to me, I wanted to see my father again and to be with him and ask his advise. So one night I took 10 sleeping pills that should have killed me(or I thought that would at least do the trick) but earlier that day I took two very strong pep pills called "Yellow Jackets". I think those were the one thing that was keeping me alive that night. I slept the whole day away the next day.

The net time was my first car accident the first week of getting my drivers license when I wrapped my moms car around a tree. The car was leaking gas and it could have exploded with me in it, but the only damage that was done was of course to the car, and to my knees, and my pride. Another death I was able to avoid.

The third time, I was sure I was a dead woman, when I was almost murdered. My exnightmare, the shizo, believed I was trying to sabotage his precious cars engine. He convinced me to runaway with him to Virginia to live with his brother(whom he claimed it was ok to come live with him), ( I wondered why he took my uncle's bayonet and garbage bags, that was weird) but it wasn't until we were forced to go back to Louisiana because his brother had no idea we were coming and we could not stay with him. Nice huh? The next day when I was supposed to go home, in his twisted rage his wrapped his hands around my throat and started choking me, all I could think was "I can't believe this is it, I am going to die!" I was moments away from death when he stopped and said he couldn't do it. I never called the cops on him, in my foolish state of mind..the torment he put me through was too great and I lost all my marbles around then.
I say Leave him to God now, God shall not let him get away with it.

The thing that gets me the most, is that these three times that had happened, it all happend after my father passed. I know he was with me the whole time. I know now that God, has a reason for everyone to be on this earth. It is up to use to find that reason for life is a never ending journey of discovery, and I know now from the H*** that I have been through, Yesturday and today, is a lesson to be learned for tommorow. I find it amazing the things I have learned just by being closer to heaven and brought back to earth.

I hope this story will help those who think life is not worth living and the moral of this story is to never give up on life for the reasons of your being on this earth will soon come to you even when you least expect it. God has given me another chance to live and Live I shall, to devote my life to helping others and to live for the day. That is why I write these things, if it touches one person and makes a difference in their lives, then these words are not wasted. What good is words if it does not touch us in someway?

This is my story, sad but true,
I pray this will touch and make a difference to you!

waywardclam
02-14-04, 12:32 AM
Dear God Melanie...

Thank you for being strong enough to share that with others here. I hope that it may help anyone going through dire straits right now...

Draga
02-14-04, 12:36 AM
That is also my hope...I am not ashamed of my life..cause for the simple fact that I have survived..I know I have survived for a reason....I write this for the benifit of others not my own..but not going to say I don't like the compliments...thanks, and your are welcome :) ;)

Nucking_Futs
02-14-04, 01:32 AM
NOW you understand Mel, The more you share your experiance NOT only are you helping someone realize they need to get out of the same situation as it WILL only get worse. But, it get's easier to tell and bring's less and less pain each time. Now you know why I force myself to stand in front of a room full of people and share my experiance's living with alcoholic/addict parent's.

NOW I see the proof you ARE AND WILL survive and I am so proud I cannot even tell you lol I'm bawlin like a baby over here. I feel a great relief in my heart for you Mel I have been so worried; but, I can see now for sure you are overcoming and conquering your past and I am trully honored to call you my friend.

Great big hugs, lot's of love, much respect
Cherity

Draga
02-14-04, 01:36 AM
Thanks Futsy and stop crying woman! It is a privledge and an Honor to know you futs. Hugs and kisses and Loves to ya futsy!

I have always realized that my expericenes as bad as they maybe could help others..I am just glad now I have the chance to do it! :)

Nucking_Futs
02-14-04, 01:38 AM
p.s. Since there is no reply button for your poem I'll just tell you here

DRACO has NOTHING on the wrath I will carry out for the next fool who is so careless with your heart.

Draga
02-14-04, 01:44 AM
No Reply button, What up with that??????? Thanks futs

waywardclam
02-14-04, 02:04 AM
Originally posted by Nucking_Futs
p.s. Since there is no reply button for your poem I'll just tell you here

DRACO has NOTHING on the wrath I will carry out for the next fool who is so careless with your heart.

Originally posted by melanie_cartner
No Reply button, What up with that??????? Thanks futs

PM coming your way Melanie.

Draga
02-14-04, 02:12 AM
Got is WC thanks! You da Man!

Nucking_Futs
02-14-04, 02:15 AM
I take it the GREAT CLAM knew how to fix your little reply problem

Draga
02-14-04, 02:17 AM
Yes the great and powerful WC is going to fix it for me:D He ain't got nuttin on the great and powerful OZ and I not talking about Oz from the room;)

Spirit
02-14-04, 02:19 AM
Melly,

You have endured what a great many women today have also gone through, me being one of them.

I too know what it's like to come so close to death that you fear that any moment may be your last breath. Thank the Goddess that I have now escaped this reality in my life as well.

As the saying goes.."That which does not kill us only makes us stronger" I believe this with all my heart, for I as well as you have become stronger as a person in whole.

Draga
02-14-04, 02:42 AM
LOL La Donna that is my favorite Line ! That which does not Kills us makes us stronger

apcpapergirl
02-14-04, 04:24 AM
I love that line :-)

apcpapergirl
02-14-04, 04:25 AM
Pic too blurry... hmmmm

Draga
02-14-04, 04:44 AM
we all love that Line;)

apcpapergirl
02-14-04, 05:17 AM
Yes we do :-)

Draga
02-14-04, 05:24 AM
Avator looks better APC!

apcpapergirl
02-16-04, 11:43 PM
tyvm melly

Auntie APC :-)

Draga
02-17-04, 12:21 AM
NP Hun.

apcpapergirl
02-17-04, 12:36 AM
btw... Yes, life has it's reasons..... I just need to find out my reason. I'm sure I'm here for a purpose.

Draga
02-18-04, 06:03 PM
Sweetie we are all here for a reason that is why Life is a journey to find that reason!

apcpapergirl
02-18-04, 08:24 PM
Well.... hopefully I will someday.. find that reason.
Vickie

Draga
02-18-04, 08:29 PM
I hope so to:D

redletterruth
02-19-04, 12:38 AM
Hi Melly,
Keep writing, Hon, you're healing yourself and everyone that reads your stuff,,,thanks for writing
love
claudia

Draga
02-19-04, 12:46 AM
Hehe thanks ruth, will do..been through so much I think I could write a novel!

charlie
09-12-04, 02:40 PM
{quote} "I hope this story will help those who think life is not worth living and the moral of this story is to never give up on life for the reasons of your being on this earth will soon come to you even when you least expect it. God has given me another chance to live and Live I shall, to devote my life to helping others and to live for the day. That is why I write these things, if it touches one person and makes a difference in their lives, then these words are not wasted. What good is words if it does not touch us in someway" {quote}

That's a powerful message Melly! Thanks for sharing.
SO much of this story I can relate to it's frightening!

cheers, to your future writing endeavors!

Draga
09-12-04, 02:52 PM
:) Hugs Charlie...Thank You and I promise to do my best to make best of the things I write..

I dunno to be happy or sad that you can relate...but am glad you are here still to talk about it..and if ya need to talk more..Pm me hun :)