absane
11-30-07, 09:40 AM
I posted all of this, nearly word for word, in another subforum. However, it's something I am wondering about and I feel that I will get a better response here than I would where I posted it (medications subforum).
I got Strattera only 7 weeks ago and I've been on a stimulant (Concerta) for only 3 weeks, my first stimulant since I was 6. I was on it because I never did my homework, got very frustrated when I tried to do my homework, got in lots of trouble, talked way too much (and very fast), I was always the teacher's pet (at the time I thought it meant we were friends :rolleyes: ), could not pay attention to people talking to me, ect..
That was all when I was "a kid." Now I'm 23 and I feel a bit inhibited both socially and mentally... like I'm not supposed to be who I want to be and who I know I am. When I am 100% comfortable in a situation, I'm exactly how I used to be as a child that "had" ADHD (I was never diagnosed, but the Dr. at the time mentioned it... and a diagnosed ADHD female I used to work with 3 years ago said I am). Especially as of late I've find myself, in effort to "conform" to society, emotionally detaching myself from situations so that I can be less "discombobulated" (word a former boss used to describe me because I'd have a million things going and I forget to finish every single one of them.. while at the same time I'm running around like I'm on speed). After all, if I feel neutral about most things (even if I should care), then I'm not running around going "OMG so little time... OH MAN... forgot my keys... wait, got to finish this... GAHH... what was I just about to do?!?" Instead, I've pretty much forced myself to think "well, I got to get this done and if I miss class, then oh well." It's got to the point that I won't even attempt to get some homework done because I've forced myself to treat missed assignments like it's no big deal and it's not the end of the world. It's reduced a lot of anxiety in my life, but at the same time it makes me less ambitious.
Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to explode and tell everyone to "f off" so that I can go back to being how I used to be. But at the same time, it's almost like I forgot how to "let go" and be more comfortable with myself. I have never, by any means, been a free spirit. I've always felt constrained to some degree (as we all have) but it used to be under controll. Now it takes great effort to remove myself from a small group of people because I feel like if they notice I am leaving, I'll be interrogated.
Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.
I got Strattera only 7 weeks ago and I've been on a stimulant (Concerta) for only 3 weeks, my first stimulant since I was 6. I was on it because I never did my homework, got very frustrated when I tried to do my homework, got in lots of trouble, talked way too much (and very fast), I was always the teacher's pet (at the time I thought it meant we were friends :rolleyes: ), could not pay attention to people talking to me, ect..
That was all when I was "a kid." Now I'm 23 and I feel a bit inhibited both socially and mentally... like I'm not supposed to be who I want to be and who I know I am. When I am 100% comfortable in a situation, I'm exactly how I used to be as a child that "had" ADHD (I was never diagnosed, but the Dr. at the time mentioned it... and a diagnosed ADHD female I used to work with 3 years ago said I am). Especially as of late I've find myself, in effort to "conform" to society, emotionally detaching myself from situations so that I can be less "discombobulated" (word a former boss used to describe me because I'd have a million things going and I forget to finish every single one of them.. while at the same time I'm running around like I'm on speed). After all, if I feel neutral about most things (even if I should care), then I'm not running around going "OMG so little time... OH MAN... forgot my keys... wait, got to finish this... GAHH... what was I just about to do?!?" Instead, I've pretty much forced myself to think "well, I got to get this done and if I miss class, then oh well." It's got to the point that I won't even attempt to get some homework done because I've forced myself to treat missed assignments like it's no big deal and it's not the end of the world. It's reduced a lot of anxiety in my life, but at the same time it makes me less ambitious.
Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to explode and tell everyone to "f off" so that I can go back to being how I used to be. But at the same time, it's almost like I forgot how to "let go" and be more comfortable with myself. I have never, by any means, been a free spirit. I've always felt constrained to some degree (as we all have) but it used to be under controll. Now it takes great effort to remove myself from a small group of people because I feel like if they notice I am leaving, I'll be interrogated.
Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.