View Full Version : Feeling Paranoid


ADDfor2
02-14-04, 12:15 PM
Hi All,

Been a while since I wrote. Things have been kind of up and down for a while now. I've been going through this thing with my job since before Christmas now with the other person I work with. I have a pretty simple job, one you would think could not be screwed up but lately it seems I can't do anything right. I've never really been a leadership type person, more of a support type person. The take control/leadership personality is in my makeup but because of my paranoia about my NLD and ADD I tend to back away from taking the lead in things. Currently I work with another woman in the cafeteria of my daughter's school. The original plan was for her to move to a higher position and for me to take her position and bring another person in. It winds up the job I was to take involves doing lunch tickets and lots of counts and figures which is an area I am weak in.

When my boss first asked me if I wanted to move to this school I didn't think it would be that hard. I was so glad to be around the corner from home and at the school my daughter attends that I grabbed the job. When I started training for doing the taking of orders and doing the tickets it turned out to be harder and more confusing then I ever imagined it would be. There is a lot involved and I learn very slow with figures. I was doing fine with the ordinary kitchen work and seemed to get along great with the other woman but it seems everything has changed since she saw what a bolicks I was with numbers. She seems to treat me different now and I know she has made fun of me behind my back. On one particular day when she was trying to train me I could just see her face. She was miserable and I could see by everyone else's expressions that she was doing stuff and saying stuff when I wasn't looking. She seemed so nice and down to earth when I started working with her and she seemed very happy with me and said I helped her a lot, but since the incident with learning to do the tickets I have not felt comfortable and she has been different. It seems her opinion of me has changed from day to night. It's amazing how one can change their entire opinion about someone because they see their weaknesses or because of one incident.

I know there are people who may disagree but I find women seem to pick more then men. Being a woman myself, I get along with them fine but am constantly watching every move I make and what I say to keep my head off of the chopping block. The women at the school, including the one I work with are always making fun of one person or another, so much back biting. I don't get involved in that, it's awful and wrong and cruel and being someone that has been the object of ridicule at times in my life I could never do that to another person. I just mind my own business when they start in on someone.

Lately, things have once again changed and it turns out that this woman I work with is not going to be moved to a higher position and I think she was mad about that for a while. I felt bad for her but was relieved I
wouldn 't have to deal with orders and counts and lunch tickets which she currently does. The dust seemed to settle for a while but apparently she is not happy and is now trying to get a position as an aide at school once again leaving me in the position of being stuck to do the orders, counts and tickets. I have just been so unhappy and unfocused that I sometimes do really stupid things. I can't seem to concentrate on my job because I am so worried about what is going to happen next.

I really don't want to be moved to another school and have to learn all over again new stuff and on top of that where to walk on the landmine field(dealing with all new personalities). What I am hoping for is for them to send someone else over with me when she moves to the aid position that will do the tickets. I have already recommended a friend of mine that would be willing to do it but it is up to my boss who gets the position. I will find out on Tuesday what my fate is.

I'm pretty sure the woman I currently work with got the aide position. Maybe it's for the best anyway because I feel so uncomfortable with her now. I honestly wonder if she has figured out that there is something different about me. She is also an A type personality by the way. Everything was great until she saw my weakness. Now I feel so alienated at times. The other women that are aides in the school are nice to me but I know this girl I work with has talked about me to them. I'm sure some of what I'm feeling may be paranoia but not all of it. I'm just so tired of living this way, always praying that "I won't be found out". The worse I feel the worse my focus level is. I start to do one thing and get distracted and start doing another thing and almost forget about what I had been doing to start with. It drives me nutz sometimes. I do much better when I'm comfortable and happy where I am. The worse the atmosphere, the worse my focus. Is anyone else like that? It's like my brain shuts down.

Things are good at home but I feel so down about the job. It was so great in the beginning. Why couldn't it have stayed that way. Why are people so unforgiving of weakness........Dee :(

Sorry to go on so long, just needed to talk about it.

joanrdtobe
02-14-04, 03:50 PM
Hi Dee: Thanks for sharing all of that.....I appreciate your ability to get it all down on paper....(or on these boards!).......I TOO struggle with paranoia...and at work as well.....thinking/knowing people are talking about me behind my back....and thinking did I actually catch them doing it?? Or was it my imagination....Seems like they just stopped suddenly when I came near.....Hmmmm.....It feels SOOOOO awful...............:( :(

So appreciate your post....just know you are absolutely NOT alone with this one......

I truly hope your friend gets hired.....so that you not only will have a friend working with you (an ally) BUT she will do the ticket job....right? In any event, I do hope they send SOMEONE over to help you......

Yes I hate change too.....why can't things just stay the same.....so relate to the frustration of it all......

Okay, hang in there.....Keep us posted.....

ADDfor2
02-16-04, 07:59 AM
Hi Joan,

Thanks for the post. I was really feeling down. I will find out tomorrow which way things are going to go. The words possible "failure" were looming in the back of my mind and I have to keep shutting out those thoughts. I'm sure everything will work out for the best somehow. I'm glad I had a 4 day weekend to relax a little. Thanks again for your kind post. Have a great week :) Dee

waywardclam
02-16-04, 11:44 AM
Strength, hope, and good karma to you, Dee...

ADDfor2
02-17-04, 01:21 PM
Thanks wayward. I still don't know yet what is going on with my one job but should know tomorrow. Man I get so tired of changes. The one positive thing about my life always changing though is that I don't have a chance to get bored. I just have to think positive. Have a great day! :) Dee

ADDfor2
02-21-04, 09:24 AM
Hey Everyone,

It seems things have turned out ok afterall. My friend did get hired and will taking orders and handling the lunch tickets and money. A part of me feels like I missed an opportunity to move up and make a little bit more money but the most important question is "would I have been able to handle the responsibility" My answer right now is no and that is something I always need to recognize before I get myself in over my head. Do I regret not taking that position, of course to a degree but I know the choice I made was the right one for me, at least for now. :) Dee

Nucking_Futs
02-21-04, 10:06 AM
Dee,

Bless your sweet soul I know exactly how you feel. I too work with a group of women who are alway's stabbing each other in the back; but, I have found by not compromising my morals and not joining in with them the other co-workers respect and value me. I was so relieved to hear your friend go the job (big hugs) and I just wanted to remind you THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU---YOUR HUMAN!!!!! Another words we all have faults and I think you handled your situation correctly and with a dignity unfortunatly I do not posses yet. Keep your head up and stay strong.

Much respect
Cherity

ADDfor2
02-21-04, 07:36 PM
Thanks so much for the kind reply. It seems things worked out for the best. I did a lot of praying and trusting in the Guy upstairs. I'll still be doing the same job I did before. I'll just be working with a real nice lady I've gotten to be friends with as our girls go to school together and play together. It is really a relief because I felt so self-conscious with the other woman that is moving to another position. I just felt like she saw me different when she saw how weak I was at figures and how nervous I get when I have to do them fast. I wish so much that people didn't judge others for their weakness and looked for their strengths and what is good about them instead. That is what I try to do and I do stick to my morals too. I don't get involved when people are being talked badly about. I think everyone knows when I get very quiet that I don't really appreciate the conversation. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to working with my friendand a good week ahead. You have a great week too. :) Dee

Nucking_Futs
02-23-04, 12:50 AM
I am so happy for you Dee truly I am and wish only the best for you. Congratulation's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherity

ADDfor2
02-23-04, 09:32 PM
HAPPY B-DAY CHERITY!! Hope you had a real nice day! :) Dee

Nucking_Futs
02-24-04, 01:07 AM
lol You must have figured out I subscribed to your post. Thank you Dee you truly are a sweet and thoughtful woman and anyone who say's different can deal with me. lol