You get to help and write a story, ADDer style :) I will start the story off, and you get to respond to the last post by typing in a phrase the makes sense. As an example, when I start this story with "Once upon a time...", you might respond with "...a long time ago, in a land far far away...: If you end a sentence, please also start a new one. Here goes :D

It was a dark and stormy night, the wind howling through the...

trees with the anguished sounds of a thousand tortured souls. I was driving .............

my big truck down a dark and lonely road. The solitude I was enjoying as my mind wandered from thought to thought ,was shattered by a tiny voice over the CB radio saying..........

"i've stolen your sold and sold it for $1.88". . . I looked up turned to my companion and realized. . . .

that he was asleep on the seat. Some watchdog he is. Some has stolen my sold and sold it. I wondered what my sold is. Mabee they ment my GOLD I thought. But I cant imagine that anyone could find my gold as I had hidden it .......

. . . .i had hidden it in that deep recess, you know, i'm mean i know. .. i dare not think it aloud, gomer might awaken, he might over hear me thinking that the gold was in my. . . .. . . .

tackle box. Bad choice since everyone knows it is my passion. I should have chosen a better spot such as....

. . . .. mmmm yes, that's where i put it. that's right, i remember now,
yes, . . .and how long was it till we reached the canadian border, yes, i could distract gomer with the maid of the mist, ditch the poor ******* and continue on to. . . ..

go over the falls in a barrel. 2 miles down river I can....

. . . . two miles down river, oh yes,
niagra on the lake, oh yeah,
who needs gold when there's wine country. . . . .

wine and Accapolcan Gold, fishing up north in Canada just me and my dog Gomer, but what if they have the POT PUPPIES at the border, what if they check my tackle box, what if ........

...I finished a sentence and took a deep breath?! My mind was racing a mile a minute!! "Slow Down". I said to myself. "None of this would even have become a problem if I had only..."

not decided to try it out befour I started driving. Now intence feelings of parinoia were creeping into my space. I thought " The only way to eliminate these feelings will be to .......

pull into a rest stop and grab a bite to eat; i'll turn the radio up, listen to that sweet sound. . .munch munch munching away and petting gomer.

There is just something so comforting about truck stop food...the heaping portions or maybe the bad coffee - reminding me of...

.mmmmmmmmmmmmm i could go for mashed potatoes and gravy, i wonder what today's special will be

...I reached for my wallet, patted Gomer's head one more time, locked the truck up and headed inside to get something to eat. "Man, is it windy out tonite", I mumbled to myself. As I stepped inside the truck stop, I did a double-take. Rubbing my eyes in disbelief, I realized that...

I'd been here before, many years ago. Back to my days in the Teamsters, back when Hoffa called me Sparkles. Ah the smell of that mud/coffee takes me back to our after hours ballet classes and cement mixing lesson.Ah to be young and built like a sausage again. I was brought back to the present by the gum chewing waitress who needed a shave badly.Shocked and panicking, I was staring into the face of....

the grim reaper himself, uhhh, no it is actually a gaunt old man who .........

looked exactly like iggy pop, i screamed!

Resembled my sister in law, whom Gomer is named after. I asked "Whats the matter, sir? And why are you carrying a skateboard and womens underwear?" Grinning a partially toothless grin he....

offered to sell me some dental floss, mumbling something about poor dental hygiene in his youth. So much for my appetite! I grabbed some food for Gomer, climbed back in the truck and turned the key in the ignition. Hearing the deep and throaty rumbling of the engine seemed to calm me down. "Now where am I going to go?", I asked myself. I looked at...

the map and it came to me at once. I need to go north, north to .........

Santas House and Workshop. My elf connections through my years with Hoffa (how do you think he got all that stuff?) told me Clausiniseter is having issues with candy cane smoking and pixie dust sniffing. My job? Save Santa from himself. Mrs Claus was no help being the enabler and hooked on cookies herself. I needed help for this, I needed to call...

GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

.....but ghostbusters referred me to fairy's on dope anonomous.....and they were not answering their beepers....what should I do now...I can't even get a "fairys on dope anonomous" FODA call....

my best best best friend,
Frank,
my faerie god-biker.
he knows how to beat fairy dust,
oh yeah, on the back of his

chrome and leathered out choppers, we once criss crossed America just living off the land and Slurpees. The Furter, as Frank was known to friends as, was a loving and kin fairy. He did my hair like no ones business and called me girlfriend. If anyone had a way with other fairy dust addicts, it was Frank "The Furter" Shwartz. Going through my battered and rubber banded phone book I found his card and dialed his cell. I was greeted by....

...his mother, Fran Amy O'Hanlon Schwartz, (known to her friends as FAO). Fran had made quite a name for herself in the toy store business, but that was another story. I asked FAO if Frank was around, at which point she broke down in tears, blubbering on the phone that Frank had....

...Sold his Soul for more Gold. And that he was trying to plant a magic Garden where the Gold would grow in abbundance, just has his Grandmother had Done. When I ......

...when I was a kid and we'd stop for grilled cheese sandwiches and cokes on our way to.....

the quary,
and i don't even know what a quary is. . . . . . . OH MY GOD! look at the size of that . . .. .

Nuggett!!! But, it can't be gold because I am waiting in a .............

hospital,
makes perfect sense

That stinkin truck stop coffee!! Thank God for Immodium and nurses.

But as I start to feel that I'm coming out of a coma, and back to the real world, the walls start to shimmer. A cloer look reveals that the walls are wallpapered in gold gift wrap...and the nurse...she is wearing a see-through gold stocking and her mouth is filled with the most golden smile on earth - all gold! Even her glasses and her stethoscope are gold! She is so gold I can't even concentrate on the fact that she is the only nurse I have ever encountered, in fact the only woman on earth I ever saw, who was wearing a see through stocking....but its GOLD and that is all I can think about now...gold...gold...gold...

geeezuz what a perv,
did you see that doctor?
what nerve,
i'm rich,
the nurse is rich,
gold is nothing,
i'm alread rich,
i own it alll. . . . .

gold...everywhere...gold..am I in a dream...or was the coffee that bad? Maybe someone drugged my drink? Yes, that woman at the truck stop, with the big strong arms, bony masculine face, and blacklight glow in the dark lipstick - she was giving me the once over. The way she kept looking at me, I thought she was gonna come over and ask if she could bench press me. Actually, she didn't look like the "askin" type; she was more domineering - I could see it in the leer in her eyes. If I was drugged it was her alright. Now what could a woman with black light lipgloss have to do with an entirely gold hallucination? What the _____GOLD is going on around here?

"i hope you got the message i sent you" she said it as though she didn't really care,
why would she, i'm nothing but a 95lb weakling to her.
um, what message?

"the gold, you Jack___."

oh, that message. . . what exactly did you mean?
-i knew where this was going, as she steered me towards the loo. . . .
i was worried

the message? The message? the message! THE MESSAGE!!! OH my gosh!!! ......quit drifting into Ned Charlie---not now Ned! You can't aford to become that part of us that can't lift a jug of milk....be strong, hang in there Charlie.. you can do it....we need you...all of us do....the ones down here...hiding...we need you Charlie! Ned, stay out of this until you can lift more than a dozen eggs without shrieking in pain! Charlie....find the gold, and get us out of this mad place! We are rich and all we need now is an escape plan....oo oo oo oo hahahahha oo oo oha ha ha ha....

Ned, in an attempt to dominate again, blurts out wryly, " My lack of physical strength has never stopped my evilness from infiltrating everything .....more powerful than a strong body...more powerful than Charlie....you would be no where without my evil plans".

"Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!" the chants came from deep within, louder and louder and louder, until Ned was merely a drowned out memory, even less. Charlie takes command, spots the exits, fills his pockets with golden medical equipment and a golden pillow in his arms....sneaks past 2 nurses and heads through the door undetected.

Outside, a surprise awaited him. His eyes were met by a brilliant site...a golden world filled with small people....children riding golden bicycles, parents walking miniature ponies on a leash, golden egg fields growing like corn and golden child-like field workers dancing around the golden fields in some odd but joyful ceremony...wow....wow....wow...

......something wasn't right about this golden globe he had awakened into.........as darkness fell the golden shimmery world became dank and depressing, the shiny teeth of the shiny people became black ,like gravestones, he knew instinctively the only thing to do to escape this place was........

stop taking the psychodelic mushrooms he was so fond of with his morning eggs.

With some trepidation, he began to walk away from the hospital. "Man, that place was creepy!", he thought to himself. About to cross the street, he happened to glance down at a newspaper, haphazardously tossed in the trash. He picked up the newspaper, unfolded it, and glanced at the headline, which read ".....

1500 AMERICANS INFECTED OVERNIGHT WITH GOLDEN MUSHROOM SYNDROME...DOCTORS BAFFLED

A CDC Alert has been issued to all mushroom on pizza eaters...Dominocees Pizza is the suspected connection between all cases. The CDC is confirming that all reported cases ordered pizza delivery the night before.

His mind wandered back to the pizza delivery guy from the night before, his face was familiar...............dagnabit, it was Iggy Pop,exacting revenge on the world for compairing him to The Grim Reaper, but how to stop him?.........

As he stood on that blustery street corner, newspaper in hand, he suddenly came to the realization that there was no traffic. As a matter of fact, there were no people...anywhere! He crossed the street and peered into the store window of a coffee shop. Nothing. No one. "This was weird", he said to himself. He walked towards the....

He walked toward the.....noise coming from the street corner,it sounded like a carnival,but as he approached he could see one solitary figure, an old gypsy man,his silhoutte twisted and buckled with age. The old man stared at him and grinned,his one gold tooth shining,his old voice croacked as he said............

"I'll tell you your fortune for some gold." He looked at the old man and said...

''Did you have a mushroom domino's pizza last night?''.......The old man looked at him, puzzled and said........

"I told you, sonny...I tell the future, not the past. Now either pay up or move along. I have alot of customers waiting."

He looked around, saw no one behind him, and wondered if this old relic had any sense left in him. "And yet", he said to himself, "he IS the only living person I have seen since escaping that looney bin of a hospital!"

He silently handed the golden pillow to the old man, and sat down before him, waiting for his fortune to be told. Then then old man...

Then the old man takes the golden pillow, mumbling under his breath something about misserable bloody truck drivers and all that glitters not being gold, he takes the young mans hand ,and looks at it carefully, well your futures pretty clear to me. It seems that ..........

the new shocks him...so he walks and walks newspaper in hand, warning the townpeople, about what he knows...but poor Charlie's SOOOO hungry...lucky for him he comes into a ...

sorry, blew it there...:) will start where I should have

he takes the young man's hand and looks at it carefully, well your future's pretty clear to me..... It seems that you were the only one to come out of the loony bin of the hospital alive....BUT we don't know if you you've eaten any Domino's pizza.....SO if you can name all 15 kinds of pizza, you WILL be safe..and the CDC will grant you immunity...can you name all 15 kinds????

ok there's Mushroom
psychadelic mushroom
cheese and mushroom
ham and mushroom.............it was at this point he realised he had a serious mushroom fixation, he needed help...who should he seek help from

...as the only person he had yet to see was this lonely old man.

Just then his stomach rumbled, and he realized just how hungry he was. He had to find something to eat...and soon. He quickly thanked the old man, and headed off into the center of town to find something to eat. Wandering down Broadway, he spotted a.....

a Bamboo Hut....knowing it was psychodelic Chinese Food...ah thank goodness he thought...I'm safe....no more mushrooms, no more pizza...maybe i can eat and not be sick....maybe i'll even find a fortune cookie or two here...so he walked into the bamboo hut and.....

and there sitting on the floor looking up at him with puppydog eyes,was gomer., but there was something different about gomer now......

It was his sister in law, whom Gomer resembled and was therefor named after....good Lord she was an ugly woman. Speaking in growls and grunt-like woofs, her moustache fluttering with each breath, she explained it was her posing as Iggy back at the truck stop (hence the womens clothing....the skateboard was just for fun)

The only thing puzzeling him now was how on earth she managed to catch and kill that rabbit with her teeth while posing as a dog, he didnt even wanna think about the time she peed against that tree.......his hunger pangs hit him again,it was time to eat, he turned to the buffet counter and to his horror......

to his horror...all he could see to eat was mushroom eggrolls, mushroom chow mein, even only mushroon dog food...was this food okay??? he wasn't sure....oh no!!

His sister in law was starting to look pretty darn good to him. Thats it. they were contaminated.

he swore to himself that he was finished with hallucinogenic mushrooms,and he would never again play mario brothers on the playstation,but his urgency now was to get as far away from this moustache bearing woman before he did something he regretted so he..........

As the sun began to set this unsightly pair finally found some food that didnt contain any mushrooms, and began to look for a place to stay for the night.

Taking inventory of what they had with them, they realized that they had two...

soups for one, they remembered, as they looked into the bag they had been carrying, that beautiful magnetic bag that they were so attracted to and never let go of, and inside they peered curiously to find they had two chinese containers of cream of mushroom pizza soup. Even their names were printed on the bag, ...and these were soups they never even ordered...how did these soups end up in their hands when they specifically tried to avoid mushroom pizza? And the really strange thing is.......

that in that bag along with the cream of mushroom pizza soup they found not fortune cookies but 2 fortune crackers..so they quickly opened up these crackers and read their fortune aloud - which said --

which said...

"eat this soup so very quick
if you do, you won't get sick.
15 minutes is your exact time limit
start eating now, don't waste another minute...."

Love, God and the CDC


Well, with a cracker fortune cookie like THAT, of course they chowed down every drop of soup and the crackers themselves....
and then after that......




.

they yelled out a few belches.....and a few barks....until all the soup was gone....it was delicious......and although he desparately wanted to be rid of this ugly, disgusting, strange excuse for a sister-in-law he was with, he knew he could not...as it was getting late and they were tired and needed a place to stay for the night....so they continued down Broadway looking for a suitable place......right in front of them they noticed......

the most outrageous yellow and red pocka-dotted clown suits hanging on a rack with a for sale tag on each of them, complete with bright rednoses and a makeup kit. They both thought they could check into a motel totally incognito if they wore clown suits...no one would know who they were~! But there was no vendor in sight! Who do they pay? And neither of them has any money other than gold, far too much for clown suits....but they both need to get to a motel and get to sleep...

....he had an idea, maybe he could take just one of the clown outfits and leave an I.O.U. He could perhaps make some money if dressed as a clown and juggled some,and he offered his sister-in-law as the bearded lady,she already had a heavy growth and if he was gonna be stuck with her ,he could at least put her to good use, now his only problem was finding some people to pay to see them at work................

He got a big piece of wood from a garbage bin, which he could use to make a sign, and with the clown makup he wrote in giant letters

B-E_A_R_D_E_D L_A_D_Y
J_U_G_G_L_I_N_G C_L_O_W_N
S_H_O_W
A-T
5 PM

T-H-E
S-H-O-W
I-S
G-U-A-R-E-N-T-E-E-D
T-O B-E
A
R-E-A-L
H-A-I-R
R-A-I-S-E-R!

She read it and her jaw dropped, but her right hook automatically decked him before she knew what she had done. He was out cold on the pavement, red blood from his forehead mixing like oil in a standing pool of red clown makeup and dark puddle water.

the time the toilet overflowed black sludge when i tried flushing a pound when the narcs were beating down the...

delirius thoughts overcame him when an ingenuis idea emerged, but he could not move to speak, and he sunk back into delirium....

While sinking back into delirium, the voices kept calling out his name. The poor man kept on sinking into thoughts so deep with shame................

that his world almost seemed to be crumbling in around him.

Just then, he remembered something his mother once said to him, "...

Which was,''never trust a woman who has to shave more than once a day''.....oh how he wished he had listened to her, he dragged his body along the road leaving a trail of blood ,he had to get away from this nightmare situation, just as things looked hopeless an Indian gentleman driving taxi pulled up along side him,opened the door and said ''need a ride buddy?'', the question is,where would this ride take him..........

...as he sat back in the seat. Contemplating all the things that have went on in the past. He dozed off as the taxi started it's long drive along a highway that was situated in a forrest. When he finally woke, to his amazement he saw........

hundreds of hot-air-balloons,and Richard Branson, was he delirious again?. He stepped out of the taxi and walked towards the beautiful balloons....

"Amazing" he thought to himself, "all this hot air in one place and not a politician to be found!". He focused on a particularly colorful balloon, slowly lifting off the ground, watching as it turned around slowly as it rose in the air. Then it dawned on him...the balloon was in the shape of.....

Breasts,giant oversized breasts.....omg he knew his mother shouldn't have bottle fed him.....wait,there not breasts,they are giant mushrooms, he laughs to himself,easy mistake to make I suppose, he climbs into the balloon and shakes his head to rid it of the picture of giant breasts, now where will this balloon ride go.........

"and how in the world am I going to get down from here" he said aloud, as he looked down from the basket at the....

ground bellow, he noticed a giant field full of Gold. Could it be that which he so desired. Was he going to be rich and be able to leave all this behind him. He pondered............

The old gypsy man sprung into his thoughts and his quote of ''all that glitters not being gold''.....he looked again,rape seed oil flowers,thats what the gold was,and he had horrific allergy to that stuff, landing in that field wasn't an option now, but in the distance he could see a building with a helicopter landing pad on the roof,perfect he thought,I'll just gently put the balloon down there....well that was the idea anyhow,alas.........

....alas, high-powered tension wires obstructed his path. The gypsy man saw hundreds, nay, thousands of lost homing pigeons resting quietly upon those wires. How did they arrive here he asked himself. How did they not become electrocuted? How will I use them to help me..........

and can i guarantee they wont use me as a birdy litter box?

As he drifted closer to the heli-pad, he began to hear a deep thump-thump-thumping noise. Pigeons? No. His stomach? Nope.

He began to look around with a sense of alarm as the noise got louder, and closer.

All of a sudden, a helicopter passed over head...in the direction of the helipad!! The balloon was buffeted by the downwash, and the burners on the balloon were blown out! Now the ballon began drifting down faster and faster towards the...

rushing crowd below. People were running left and right and screaming as the balloon he piloted increased speed faster and faster.....trying to light the burners again while falling was out of the question, he could barely stay in the basket squeezing the sides with both hands. In the next second .......

In the next second........his fate would be decided,a crazy thought jumped into his mind....could it work,it was his only hope,he flung himself out of the balloon,spread his arms wide,his huge clown suit caught the updraft and he glided slowly down to earth,toward the cheering crowd.......he kinda wished his bearded lady was with him,they had the audience now....he laughed to himself,wondering where oh where this adventure would take him now......

but he didn't have to wait long to find out. The crowds thronged all over him, tore at his clown suit, cheered him, carried him around on their shoulders. But something seems wrong...He was just getting oriented on the fact he was alive, and being carried by the crowd, like a hero..when he realized there was something out of place. What is it? He looked at the miles and miles of people in the area that was formerly deserted, but these were no ordinary people, they were.....

they were about 36 inches tall! Either he was a giant or they were miniature humans....whichever it was he was not sure. The buildings apeared to be built for people 36 inches tall! At 6'1" he could not get through any buildings without bending way over and he would still scrape his head on all the ceilings. What else? something else...their skin...their skin..oh my ...my..oh...no..they are all golden skinned.....they shine like the sun. And they all smile and laugh like joy is the central emotion of this culture. They are taking me where? To the Ultimate Ruler of the Gem Kingdom! To tell him what my mission is on the planet Gemesis? Oh my...think quick..what will I tell him! Her!!! Her!! I'm sorry!! Her!!! What will I......

They threw him into the back of a little hay wagon pulled by tiny mules which must have looked like giant horses to them. The ride was amazingly smooth, going down a gold paved road. All these little folk gathered around him, popping their heads up out of the hay at first, kind of shy, then finally coming out and sitting on the bales of hay and openly admiring him, his extraordinary differences from themselves. They spoke English to him, but to themselves they spoke a combination of hand and elbow signals, and a funny language he had never heard. They also clicked while they talked and gestured. It was complicated for sure, but they did it so fast, it looked quite natural. As there gestures were made, there seemed to be a streak of gold left in the air whereever their arms or hands had been. Then the sun shone down on them as they road down the golden highway, and he felt more relaxed than he had been in a million years. Soon a sleep drifted over him.......

...as the sun began to droop over the horizon.

As he began to drift into a deep sleep, he began to dream. thoughts of...

despair.....no happines in the thoughts. the very ssaddes thoughts ever to come to mind. what came to mind was blood driping from both wrists of his enemy. He was on the ground and he was dead. blood coming out of his mouth forming a puddle of blood along with the blood from the wrists. a blood droplet slides down the knife in his hand and falls to the ground. sad really these thoughts are really sad but the story goes on. the blood droplets turn into a rain of blood droplets in anoother place all on the ground the rain of blood hits. and he is standing in it feeling the need to kill someone. he again had a knife in his hand. then he saw his mother his friends as well. he wanted someone to bleed although its raining blood then he killed them and then he woke up shocked from this dream he.........

bloody shocked he was! Blood shot eyes! Bloody crazy feeling! Bloody freiked out! Bloody in no condition to see a King! Bloody frightened! How could he kill his own folks? Was this a mind reading experiment to test what he was made of? That is it....it was their golden opportunity to see if he would be repulsed by the act of killing his parents. How ingenius...and it worked. He hoped he didn't need to go through too many more hidious tests like that. But it accomplished the goals. They now seemed to admiringly trust him....his eyes opened to see little folks all around him smiling at him. The peacefullness in their eyes....he never felt safer before in his life.

But looking down he noticed something that took away all his tranquility and cast a new light upon all the apparent innocence surrounding him - there is blood - splattered - on everyone's shoes except his own. Blood splatters and innocence don't go together last time he checked...so he thought about the danger he must be in and ....

realized he must get away...now.

He had the sudden urge to flee...but to where? Suddenly it hit him. He would go to...

Israel on the planet Earth. Israel is a dangerous place at a dangerous time in Earth's history, but they also have a Universe-Class DNA database, where he can find out from what hideous person or thing these golden colored hynotic blood splattered fiends were cloned.

If only he had a means of transportation....some means of travel to get him on his way to Israel. As he looked out the window, he spotten a familiar shape across the large grassy meadow. It was a...

a flying purple cow. He put a blanket on the back of the cow and packed plenty of.....

cow manure and banana peels....

and a couple of those little bags of peanuts they hand out on airlines. The "Flying Purple Cow" was none other than his manure-spreading tractor, the blanket served as a shield from the blinding sun.

As he turned the key in the ignition, he heard a....

...horrible rumbling and sputttering. He smelled an absolutely awful odor, gas! It had a familiar smell, that he could hardly place, remenicent of the days when he went horse back riding! He thought the concentration of the odor could suffocate an elephant! Gagg...gaggg..ga...gggggggg...g.g...g..........

it stopped and then all of a suddent he found blood driping on the ground......what he didnt notice is that he did have a knife in his hands......the little folks came running to him.......they were dead but had something to say. "you killed your father" "ya" "and your mother" " but how could this be he said how can my dream come true," he asked. he found later that it had rained blood. and his enemy? He is dead. his wrists had slits on his arms. a puddle of blood on the ground by his mouth and wrists. they only thig that is wrong with this picture is that there was a big slit forming deep on his forehead and that it was getting depper inside his head and then it stoped.The knife slowly slipt out of his hand. He was shocked. The pain grew even more horrible. he feel to the ground and curled in a ball. The deep slit bled and bled forming a puddle on the ground. then he..........

...woke up screaming. There he was, in bed, sweat soaked and trembling, and the alarm was buzzing. The clock read 6:30am. "Wow", he thought. "What a bizzarre nightmare!"

He got out of bed, got dressed and after a quick bite to eat for breakfast, he was out the door - ready for work.

As he started his car and pulled out of the driveway in front of his house, he began to recall the vivid and often pudrid details of his truly strange dream.

Slowly shaking his head, he drove down the road to his office, where he worked as a....

commodity broker who bought and sold pork bellies. The hours were good and he'd settled his last divorce for $5 million in cash. He had more money than....

Bill Gates. Oh ok...that was a slight exageration. But he WAS well off, as was demonstrated by his lear jet parked in the aircraft hanger, behind his office building.

As he stepped into the elevator and pressed the PH button (for penthouse), he began to realize how tired he was. "Guess I didnt get a good night's sleep last night", he thought to himself.

The elevator stopped at the penthouse, and the doors slowly began to open. As he stepped from the elevator, he could smell the distinctly sweet odor of...

roses. When he'd had a bad night, the scent of roses appeared everywhere and it was impossible to ignore. He looked at the Aubusson rug, and the scent of roses were coming from the roses woven into the rug. There were other smells in the air. A Monet on the wall reeked of water lilies and one dead fish. His imagination was on overdrive again. He passed the receptionist. Good morning Mr. Bacon, she said, and he immediately smelled sizzling bacon. This was beginning to be old. ANd the only thing that would stop the olfactory hallucinations was a pint of......

chocolate milk. Milk does a body good. :D However, all he could find in the refrigerator underneath the wet bar in his office was a bottle of....

murphy's soap. "whats that doing in the fridge," he wondered, and absently wiped off the wet bar. Without chocalate milk, he'd keep smelling funny for the rest of the day, and he needed to get to work. He picked up the phone and asked his secretary to pick up a pint of chocolate milk at the convenience store on the first floor. He could still smell...

.....blood as metallicy as it taste when he was little when he sucked it from his cuts for 4 years it smelt metalicy as well. there was a path of stain from his desk and out....he followed this path then he went to the elavator. there was nothing there he couldnt smell it in here because of the roses. he went back and saw another path of blood. he looked down and saw that one of his toes were missing. he could not feel this what so ever! yet he was shocked of this. now how could my toe be cut off????? this wasnt a dream it was real! then his secretary walked in. shes that one who has a big crush on him! she was shocked when she saw this and said............

"My goodness, thats my favorite toe that's missing!" She had a pint of milk, however, and he gulped it down as quickly as he could. "Are the markets open yet?" he asked. "Five minutes more," she told him. He bandaged his foot, threw on a trading jacket, and took the elevator to the trading floor. The pork belly pit was already full of people. His assistant handed him his deck with a look at his heavily bandaged foot. "Bad morning boss?" he asked. With the opening bell he shouted his orders to buy and sell. He was holding a short position of over 1000 contracts, and if the market moved up he'd have to stick to....

cheap chocolate milk :D ........

At the thought of his, he took off his glasses, and screamed "I hate the judicial system". He then started jumping up and down, then laid on the floor, and threw a tantrum. Of course, this was not the first time this had happened. So following normal office procedures his assistant ...................

ushered him out and assured him he could do the orders while he took a 5 minuyte breather.

As he waited in the lobby to cool off, he thought about having more money than even the king of the golden people could have had. What is it, why is he having a tantrum now, and hallucinating things like missing toes...what is really missing in this golden life of Lear Jets???? He has it all??? Doesn't he or doesn't he?

No love..... he has a loveless commodity dealing life, screaming at the top of his lungs all day, making money to buy toys, but for who, for what, why? This life was getting old. Maybe he is feeling a little suicidal. Without a love in his life for over 10 years now, he has started seeing no reason not to slit his wrists again, like he did as a teenager, and get it over with. What did they tell him then..that someday he would be happy he persevered the painful days....that he didn't commit suicide...and that is all that has kept him going. But when will he find happiness or at least an alcove away from the pain? He looked at his wrists now, crisply covered with freshly ironed white shirt cuffs and fine gold cufflings with onyx and a small diamond in the center. No blood today, except in the veins in his forehead. His toe reappeared under the bandages and he could wiggle it. A headache was coming on, just like every day around a half hour before the market closes. Five minutes are up, so back to that damn pork belly screen again! Screaming again at the top of his lungs and waving his onyx cufflings frantically in the air, "$38 on 2000 contracts" he screams!!!! And he looks at his wrists again....

and shakes his head. He's not stable today, and he needs all his concentration to trade. Four more hours. The market is at 68.60 and he just bid $38 on 3000 contracts. Fortunately, $38 was way over the limit for the day so he just got some strange looks. He noticed JAX, trading opposite him, with a clipping from Kup's column pasted to his forehead. "COMMODITY BROKER PAYS 5 MILLION CASH TO SETTLE DIVORCE" He was gonna have to work with that reminder for the rest of the day. "1500 at 68.70, he screamed, and his bid was taken. As long as he could stay busy, ....

drinking chocolate milk. But then, it came to him. A plan, thanks to JAX. Love, where is love. Love is missing in my life and maybe I found my true love on JAX's forehead. Maybe JAX was a sign from some unknown source. Maybe JAX is his key to a wonderful life. Who is this woman he thought? I must found out. He takes one last swig of his choclate milk, looks around to make sure no one is watching, and decides to makes a dash for the clipping on JAX's forehead. He must have it now. Who is she? Who is this love of my life that I have not met yet, keeps going over and over in his head. He believes with all his heart and soul that this is his only chance to find her. This is his destiny. On the count of one, two, three he makes the dash for the clipping on JAX's forehead and...........

thats when the imaginary world and the real world collided. The split that he forsaw in his head...that was the split between the world of heavy trading in a world he didnt like, and traveling to a world he did like. It was also a premonition and that warning started becoming reality as he inadvertently slipped on a slip intended for entering orders, and collided with reality, forhead to forehead....smashing his forhead into JAX's forhead, and blood splattering everywhere. Before he hit the floor with eyes bulging, he could see JAX forehead split in two, his brain partially visable, and as he fell he saw a glimpse of the pen in his hand, a letter opener pen from the pork belly association, and it looked mysteriously like a knife from his dreams, and it was now covered with JAX blood, and his own.....and he fell the rest of the way to the floor.....eyes sticking out.....blood in a pool....tongue sticking out......teeth cracking as they hit...thug....and the trading above kept going without missing a beat....

John bolted upright in bed, bathed in a cold sweat. He checked the digital clock on the nightstand - 3:17am. "****it", John thought to himself, "will I ever get a good night's sleep without these incredibly scary nightmares?"

John got out of bed and shuffled off to the kitchen to get a drink of water. As he passed the living room, John swore he saw the shadow of...

Elvis and he was singing and dancing to...........................

To Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" ..... while the band was watching old movies on tv and drinking.........?

peanut butter shnapps. John shook his head. All these thoughts made him hungry for......

close by to taste several types of wine to foret why I started this trip in the first place. Now if I could only remember