So I left home( my parents house) like 4 years ago...they were forcing me to randomly marry somone...I had enough and just left home since I was in love with someone else. I use to miss my family so Id go home maybe once a month...my family would never say come on over I would go when I felt like it. My uncle and aunt ( my dads brother) was ****ed off and would tell me to go. So one time I went to go see my family my uncle shows up yelled at me in front of some guy I dont even know. Called me stupid and said I am going to hell for what I did. He came inside my dads house and told my dad tell her(me) she cant come here. My dad said ''dont come here'' i just looked at my mom and dad with disbelief...My mom and dad say that my uncle is not wrong...who is he to tell them I cant talk to them? I dont call my mom and dad no more. They blame me for what happened. Everything is my fault. There is no one from my side to talk to them. I am just getting really scared I am developing HATE for my family. I just cant help it. I think about them all day. I even had a dream about them. I just dont know what to do. They dont want to talk to me. I say well if thats how they are then screw them. But then I think hey lives short. Not once has my mom or dad called me in 4 years. I use to call them when Id be really upset. Id ***** at them for doing what they are. But they blame me. Why doesnt anyone see things from my point? They were forcing me to marry someone I did not know. No way was I going to let that happen. The most important thing is I am happy today. But they dont care. I just dont know howto get over it. I dont even want to talk to them. Screw em. I dont even consider them family no more. I dont know they just dont feel like family no more.
I just dont know what to do dont mind me

So I left home( my parents house) like 4 years ago...they were forcing me to randomly marry somone...I had enough and just left home since I was in love with someone else. I use to miss my family so Id go home maybe once a month...my family would never say come on over I would go when I felt like it. My uncle and aunt ( my dads brother) was ****ed off and would tell me to go. So one time I went to go see my family my uncle shows up yelled at me in front of some guy I dont even know. Called me stupid and said I am going to hell for what I did. He came inside my dads house and told my dad tell her(me) she cant come here. My dad said ''dont come here'' i just looked at my mom and dad with disbelief...My mom and dad say that my uncle is not wrong...who is he to tell them I cant talk to them? I dont call my mom and dad no more. They blame me for what happened. Everything is my fault. There is no one from my side to talk to them. I am just getting really scared I am developing HATE for my family. I just cant help it. I think about them all day. I even had a dream about them. I just dont know what to do. They dont want to talk to me. I say well if thats how they are then screw them. But then I think hey lives short. Not once has my mom or dad called me in 4 years. I use to call them when Id be really upset. Id ***** at them for doing what they are. But they blame me. Why doesnt anyone see things from my point? They were forcing me to marry someone I did not know. No way was I going to let that happen. The most important thing is I am happy today. But they dont care. I just dont know howto get over it. I dont even want to talk to them. Screw em. I dont even consider them family no more. I dont know they just dont feel like family no more.
I just dont know what to do dont mind me
It sounds like you are not in a very happy place right now and for that I am sorry. You know what they say about family is that you cant pick em. The important thing is not what your family thinks of you but what you think of yourself. We tend to be the hardest of members of our family than we do or friends. I really dont know why this is or am I defending what they are doing to you. You said a lot when you said the important thing is that you are happy. Thank you for sharing what you are going thru. It helps to have a place like this to share.

I agree with Lunas, it is very nice to have a place available like this where we can share our feelings with those who can relate and yes, I think many of us on this forum can indeed relate. Much love and light to you and hopefully time will help bring your family around. Sometimes we have to do what is best for ourselves and our family will not agree no matter what we try, what we explain, how much we plead - it just doesn't seem to work. We get the feeling that we are owned and that we owe, but we have our own life to live and if we are going to be anyone at all, we have to stand up and be our own person.

Best wishes and hope for a better future with your family.

From the bits I've gleaned from your situation, Glitter, you have lots of reason to be grieving and feeling 'not so hot'.

You mentioned that your parents tried to force you (as a young person) to enter into an arranged marriage with an unwanted partner. Sounds creepy.

Are you an South East Asian or a Mormon/LDS? Both those cultures trade girls and women (a form of the sex trade, really) to create and strenghten bonds and favours among the men.

Some cultures try to force young girls to marry men old enough to be their fathers or grandfathers. Research shows that abuse is more common (power inequality too) in marriages where the partners are far apart in age (e.g. 10-15 years+ difference). Actually, it is a risk for spousal homicide, too. :(

Your family's 'Refusing to talk to you' and "calling you stupid" and saying you are "going to hell" (religious THREATS) may be part of the 'isolate and control' that toxic families or partners use to control less powerful people in the groups that they want to manipulate.

I think you could really really benefit from talking to a Social Worker who works with people leaving abusive families.

My Mom's family discouraged her from leaving a child molester (how sad is that?), so I have some sense of the crazy family stuff you are dealing with. (Don't be the Sacrificial Lamb, for goodness sake.)

If you can tell us which State or State capital you are IN or NEAR, we may be able to do some Web Searches to find some Community Resources for you to UTILISE -- and to make recommendations for help for you thru this difficult time.

~Emma

there is a price to pay for everything. fair. unfair. at least you are strong willed enough to not be forced into a doomed marriage. i have no family support. i have done everything on my own. it is hard out there. however, it has made me a stronger person and even if i "lost everything" i know i am strong enough to start over. life sucks. but you don't!

keep your chin up! http://addforums.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif