I have watched girls becoming insta-friends all around me for years, I either put off something that makes people not like me or I don't pick up on signals that they want to be better friends. I used to try too hard to make friends when i was little, so i learned to just be friendly and don't annoy them by trying to be friends. I don't pick up on "signals" letting me know who really likes me and who is just friendly, so i just play it safe.

I watched how other women/girls do it & I still have no clue.
It just seems like magic!

You hit the nail on the head, if you don't mind me saying so.

"It just seems like magic" how other people do what they do... this is true for me in so many respects, especially for people that are well organized like my wife. I see her do it, I pay close attention and then when she is done organizing I just feel so amazed and wonder how in the world does she do it? That goes for a lot of things. I have trouble making friends and I absolutely dread when I must go or move somewhere new. I always feel like such an outsider. I have gotten much better with understanding of why I feel that way with consideration of ADD, but you know, it still amazes me to see people get along so well when they first meet and then become close friends. It makes me wonder - what do they have that I don't have. Ever felt like that? Then the question comes - why? It must be magic - wish I had a touch of that magic!

I don't have a magic wand answer for you Alexandria and if I say just be yourself; I guess that won't help either. So, what has helped me? Hobbies and things I love to do. I could not get friends to save my life when I was young, but my parents made me join a bowling league and through that I started to socialize more. I hated it at first; I stayed all by myself, just getting up to throw the ball. Weirdly though, I got good at it and people took notice of me, people wanted me on their team. I still tried to stay to myself, just so afraid of being judged and probably ridiculed like I was in school, but because my parents would not let me quit I got to know people and realized they weren't all that bad. The best part was the attention from the coach and the positive feedback he gave me for doing better and improving. This is just a situation I remember well...

Do you have hobbies or a team sport that you love to do? Maybe you could join a club, or sports team? Something like that -- kids tend to come together in those elements...

That's it for now, best wishes and much hope flowing your way....

Bryan

ya im bad with signals also

"Do you have hobbies or a team sport that you love to do? Maybe you could join a club, or sports team? Something like that -- kids tend to come together in those elements..."

Well at 27, the choices are pretty slim. lol
I AM an adult student though and have looked over my colleges list of clubs, and find absolutely nothing of any interest to me.
Plus I have no coordination for sports.
Really I am on the internet, selling on ebay, playing Wow or researching in my spare time. None of the activities I like are very social. I am pretty much a dork!
lol

The best way to make friends is to have regular contact over a common interest. I become friends with several people here on ADDF but it is because I have regular contact with them in an area of common interest.

I live in BFE USA and I haven't made friends but it is because I have made no effort to do so - I have notice when I walk the dog by the school there are always a couple of ladies over there walking - I have thought about going over there and leaving the dog at home because well she is a huge distraction and I do not feel like taking her in the track area and having her take a poop is going to make me popular with the other locals - I know how to make friends it is getting out from in front of the computer long enough to actually make the time I need to do it.

With my recent attempt to quit smoking eating is a thing so I just may be able to kill three stones with one bird - exercise nicotine cravings , weight control and friends -

I realized in March that I had no social skills because I had no social experience. My solution was to join many groups on Meetup.com and do lots of events. I did an event and journaled on the things I did well and the things I want to do better. I kept getting social experiences, journaling, getting more experiences, journaling, etc.

I've come a long way, though I still have a long way to go. But I know I'll keep getting better and better as long as I keep getting experience and journaling... http://addforums.com/forums/images/smilies/cool.gif

Oh, I didn't mean you are a kid at all :) lol

I just meant getting involved with something recreational that requires being around others! I play WoW from time to time too. Awesome! The thing about having parents making you do something is that you don't have a choice. As an adult, we just do or we don't. And usually, we Adder's don't. But, you want to meet new friends and that can provide you with some drive to go out and about and meet others... hopefully :)

Either way, hello I am Bryan... Nice to meet you!