hi everyone!

this is my first post. i have recently been diagnosed w/ add & am on medication. since starting, for the first time in my life, i can actually pay attention to my 8 year old daughter. i feel so calm & i can not believe the peace i feel. i need to know what to do to make up for not "being there"?

Welcome to ADDforums, All you can do is change today, you have no real contol over the past or the future, in time your child will forgive your transgressions.

I agree with the above post - you can't change the past nor should you try to make up for it - you can only change the future by actions taken in the present.

Spend the quality time you have now don't let the past mistake or worries of the future which is yet to be known muck up the here and now - enjoy the moments as they present themselves

You didn't know you had ADD before, or that it could be treated. Like Oprah says, "You did the best you could with what you knew. Now that you know better (different) you can do better." As the others here said, you can't change the past, just enjoy the fact that you are able to connect with your daughter now.

I didn't know I had ADHD until I was 53 and my daughter and I have always been close. Sure we had our issues in the past, but now that we understand that mommy had a real reason for having those problems.

hi everyone!

this is my first post. i have recently been diagnosed w/ add & am on medication. since starting, for the first time in my life, i can actually pay attention to my 8 year old daughter. i feel so calm & i can not believe the peace i feel. i need to know what to do to make up for not "being there"?Congratulations on getting the correct diagnosis and a positive reaction to medication and just in time as your daughter enters adolescence. A parent who seeks treatment for themselves is a great role model for their children.

As odd as it might sound, you need to focus on yourself if you want to really make changes to the relationship with your daughter. Medication is only a small part of the picture. For example, what stresses you out and how can you manage that so you don't take it out on your daughter. I'm not suggesting that you have or that you ever will. But the more you know about your ADHD, the better your relationship will be.

And I agree with what's been said here about forgiveness. I think that's a very crucial component otherwise you might be parenting from an unhealthy place.