So, I have been off medication for awhile now.

Anyways, sometime I either get bored.. or in somewhat of a good mood mixed with boredom... and, I will just start chattering... not really saying anything in particular just mumbling this and that.... making up silly songs or repeating words in different ways.... more to myself then really anyone around me.

So I was doing this...again.... quietly.... anyways, my boyfriend gets frustrated with me and tells me (somewhat nicely) that he doesnt want to hear me anymore.

I ask him... "what? Am I bothering you...? "

and he said... "yes!!!..."

I was kinda shocked.. and.. hurt.

Its frustrating me because he works with a somewhat wacky guy and from what I hear about him.. he is not much different then me (we both suspect the guy he works with is ADHD )

anyways, he will go on and on about this guy... how funny he is... how strange is he..... fun to hang around him...blah blah..blah.....

and then my boyfriend tells me .... (again) to stop doing the things I "normally" do because it annoy's him.

One minute.. he tells me what I do is fine.... the next he tells me its annoying.... and the next minute he is telling me to just BEMYSELF.......

i dont even know why I am making this post.

Because your boyfriend can't make up his mind. . .

It sound like you may live with your boyfriend?

Some times a behavior is fun comical abut becomes annoying over time or in too close of a distance.It may be distracting if he is trying to watch TV and you are sitting right next to him ect. . ..

Besides your boyfriend's relationship is different with you then it is with a co-worker.It is one thing to work with some one who has "interesting" habits it is another thing to live with them. . . If this annoyance impeded who I was and could not be circumvented by some reasonable modification {like going into another room if he is unable to hear a show ect. . .} then I think it would be time to distance myself from this person who apparently is unwilling to accept me as I am

thanks for the reply.

I cant put my finger on it... but, I am feel like I am never accepted.

Since I have been off meds I have been feeling pretty down about myself and my life.... my bf's family would never understand anything about my behaviour.. so I have to watch myself what I do around them. (they usually end of angry for no reason if I let something slip..to which they promptly take it out on myself and more so on my bf) So I do my best to be fake around them... fake, as in, more like them.

Which is pretty exhausting.

anyways, the only time I felt I could be myself... was around my boyfriend..and I dont know if maybe I am worse then I was before meds... or maybe he is just less patient with me... but I get the impression I cant be myself around him either.

I have noticed key traits he has picked up from his family... the negative ones.... and I am not very happy about that. (they are very critical, and controlling..)

Anyways, I am getting more bummed out of the stupid mindless mistakes I make (from not paying attention) because now he seems to get frustrated with me.... doesnt always tell me so..just seems like it.

I guess that is why I was upset when he admitted to finding me annoying.

At one time I thought he accepted it... even laughed along with me.......maybe he was laughing AT me.

sigh.

Veighen, it really sounds like your living situation is untenable - it's wearing you down, and your relationship too. I hope that's not too intrusive of me to say, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles.

It's kinda difficult to say. He may have been in a bad mood, you may have been going on about things too randomly for him to keep up with, or he might have been trying to think about something else.

But I kinda agree with Leah. If it's not too intrusive, might I ask why you're not on meds?

Veighen,

Here are my thoughts, let me preface with it, I am in a foul mood and within 2 sentences I was hating your boyfriend... that said, I am mostly only clueless about myself:

1. get on meds
2. the lack of acceptance is probably quite real
3. start releasing your boyfriend... however works for you: If you need to slowly withdraw, do so. If you need to ditch him all at once do so. Do what works for you but hopefully it involves getting rid of you before he drives you mad.
4. People do what they do: If he is controlling, he will ultimately always default into control. If you are idiosynchratic, you will always be so. This places you in diametrical opposition with each other. Because of the ADD and particularly when unmedicated, you will never be 'controllable,' in the sense that ADD means a certain amount of unpredictability, no matter how subtle... eventually. Even if he dominates and you submit - have you been doing that - eventually, your natural, chemical, neuro tendency to be you, even if you want to be someone else, will rear it's ugly head.
5. Love is possible and you are lovable.

Rock on!

Since I have been off meds I have been feeling pretty down about myself and my life


anyways, the only time I felt I could be myself... was around my boyfriend..and I dont know if maybe I am worse then I was before meds... or maybe he is just less patient with me... but I get the impression I cant be myself around him either.


I am gathering you met this person while you were medicated and for some reason you decided to quit taking the medication.

The changes could be two fold


Stopping medication is often more noticeable to others than it is to us - my husband knows just by my behavior exactly when my medication wears off - he says I get more dinge - I think he is more annoying when I am un-medicated.


Second of all your perception has changed - I know when I am not on my medications I have a harder time focusing long enough to read people when in doubt I automatically believe the worse


Before you took medications for ADD you only knew unmedicated ADD you didn't know what it was like to feel any different - but when one spends time on medications then there is some thing to compare our "normal" to. . . thus we notice things we did not before medication - it isn't that our ADD is any worse we simply notice it more because our brain now knows what it is like to be different.

I've been in a similar situation. How long have you been together? Maybe the shine is wearing off for one or both of you. It's funny how we attract those critical, nit-picky, or nagging perfectionist types. I am starting to wonder if ADD people should only be with other ADD people.

Wow, that's just like me and my life. I'm subscibing to this thread!

It's funny how we attract those critical, nit-picky, or nagging perfectionist types. I am starting to wonder if ADD people should only be with other ADD people.

I think some times we may be attracted to the critical picky kind because we see what we often lack = organization and a resemblance of order. . . . they see spontaneous and creativity in us - some thing many of them lack.

Although opposites may attract I agree that co-habitation can be quiet repelling.


Living with another ADDer can present problems of it's own - no such thing as a perfect partner only ones whose flaws you can live with and it is a real plus if they are willing to live with ours as well.