I swear I am cursed!!! Silly me for the last 2 years I thought my curse was over. He was sweet, sexy, charming, talented, and made me laugh a lot. He also didn't have ADHD or Bipolar and didnt give a damn that I did, nothing I said or did was wrong, he made me feel beautiful and desired. He got me into reading books again and explained things to me when I didn't understand what was really going on in a book...he recommend books to me all the time and it got to the point I was recommending books for him lol. In all that time we never fought and believed in the same ideal in relationships. I thought I died and gone to heaven ...everything about him was perfect. I was so screwed up from my last relationship before him I never let anyone get close to me until he came along and earned my trust.

Unfortunatley, he lived in a different state but all that mattered to me was that he made me happy but both our lives were complicated so we never truly met, even though I felt closer to him than anyone. ok true he was seeing someone but I actually was fool enough to believe him when he said he didnt love her and he loved me and wanted to marry me and not her. He tells me to be paitent and we will be together soon.

A fools history repeats it's self, one day everything is like before, hunky dory, but the next day without warning he tells me he's got to marry her to get custody of his kids, it was the only way to get custody from ex without going to court. (long story)

I was shocked and hurt but I guess I understood...UNTIL I talked to his friend who's known him all her life and she says she knows him too well and the kid excuse was just part of it...it was just way to break it off with me w/o seeming the *******...and he really did love gfNOW I AM ****ED!!!! 2 years of trust and love and paitence and respect gone without warning and to find out those 2 years was nothing but a lie.

One perk though,...I went out that night and had incrdible rebound sex hehe...wasnt a stranger but someone I've known all my life so at least I was playing it smart...but wow...this guy was amazing..I not talking the sex part but he was everything I imagined what it would be like between me and the guy in the other state..


.I think i could fall for this guy but trust...whole different ball game there...I am used to being hurt and can recognize a bad relationship from an ******* but from someone who treats me great and without warning changes and I am crushed once again...It's bad enough not being able to trust a jerk but not being able to trust a great man ..I might as well be alone!!!!!!

wow complicated.
dont give up tho, not all guys are ahrseholes.

We love ya Mel glad to see you are back, at least something good came out of it right?

wow complicated.
dont give up tho, not all guys are ahrseholes.

I know it just too bad most men are wolf in sheeps clothing :(

yea i kno wot u mean but there are a few good ones out there. (i mean that in a non-gay way lol)

LOL that what i usually say...the good men now a days are married, gay, or married to cover the fact they are gay :D Not that there is anything wrong w/ the last two..just soooo unfair to us single gals LOL

yeah just keep lookn ay.
Lol im lookn for a nice single girl at the moment. Hopefully the trek around the country will help lol..
by the way alot of the sweet charming ones are full of sh*t.
Lol well im tryn 2 find sumone real cuz ive come across alot of fake girls..that turn out to b the opposite of what they make out to be.

I am sorry you got hurt - but please don't look for the perfect spouse . . . for those who missed my newly wed tag this summer a re-run.


http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s206/tlr823/signaturetwowithclipartDSCF0854.jpg

There are a few basic rules to follow when dealing with guys....

1) Many guys will say anything to get sex.

2) Guys who say they love you but continue in another relationship....do not love you.

3) In the high stakes card game that is an affair the mother of his children holds the ace of trumps

4) Married guys with kids rarely leave their wives voluntarily....it's usually the wife leaving him when his philanderings become known.

5) If you become involved with a married guy....live for the moment....and never ever expect him to play a part in your future......and make that clear from the start.....by having a life (and even a sex life) outside the affair.

6) Consider your married lover a good friend you occasionally sleep with....ultimately he should be happy to dance at your wedding....to someone else......and vice versa.

7) Every guy fantasises about having two women...an affair is as close as most ever get.

kilt

We ADDers tend to repeat ourselves, even situations which may be painful. Sometimes we do it for no other reason other than it is a habit and part of our nature and sometimes we do it because we have great hope inside that things will turn out better this time, things will change, things will be different. Maybe they will be and maybe they won't be, nobody knows for sure and this just leads us to believe even more so that things could, would and should be different. But alas, when the same results come again, we feel disappointed and even more down than previously and its back to the drawing board.

The drawing board -- stop, think, forget about it. Just be.

Sometimes wanting something so bad can create a drive within us to do things we never imagined possible, wonderful things; however, sometimes that same drive can become an obsession that we ignore the danger signs and the truth behind lies and shadows. We have to take care and realize that there is more to finding a relationship, that there is more to being with someone than just the fact of not having someone and being alone instead. When the desire and the need and the hope and the want becomes all consuming, we become open and available victims of those who would use us and hurt us.

When the search for a relationship becomes all consuming and an obsession of why me and why can't I, then our morals, our self esteem, our self respect become less and less important and sooner or later we allow anything and anyone to fill the void. But, once we do that and the victim finds the prey, we ask the one question that becomes a mantra -- why?

The truth is that you are worth so very much and your standards, needs, morals and self respect are the identifiers which should be used to attract someone - certainly and unfortunately, honesty and integrity might take a little longer to find someone, but oh WOW, when those traits find someone, well then, you've got someone you can count on then!

With all my love and all the best - Good luck!

Bryan

meadd's right mel. We're all a mess, but somehow my mess and his mess can live together and be willing to fight through the really bad times.

I'm sorry you got hurt sweetie. (((hugs)))

I agree with what the Scotsman says except for #5 and #6. In my opinion it's best just not to have any kind of involvement with a married guy because he's just using you for a little excitement (the same would generally be true for a guy messing with a married woman, though he's more likely to get shot). If that doesn't do it for you then imagine that you're the wife being cheated on. Also LDR's just aren't ever a good idea. I'm just a schmuck who waltzed on in and I don't know your history but maybe you should cool it for a while and get really involved in some kind of activity that you're passionate about. Try falling in love with something more meaningful -like working with Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans (?). Just remember the hurt will pass over and it will pass even quicker when you are crazy busy!

I was shocked and hurt but I guess I understood...UNTIL I talked to his friend who's known him all her life and she says she knows him too well and the kid excuse was just part of it...it was just way to break it off with me w/o seeming the *******...and he really did love gfNOW I AM ****ED!!!! 2 years of trust and love and paitence and respect gone without warning and to find out those 2 years was nothing but a lie.

Ya know I held off for a day or two Mel because I really care and this may or may not be some thing you want to hear right now - while you may have "wasted" two years with this guy just think some other woman will be spending even more time with a guy who strings other women along - behind her back. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but the guys is a jerk deluxe and in the long run you are lucky not to have spent more time on him that you already did.It is the girl friend who gets the big screw in the long run -

Well said Meadd!!!!

One thing I've learned in life is that you can do and say all the right things and be the greatest person and sometimes people still won't respond the way you'd like. Human beings are unpredictable. I've had to learn that I can only be me and other people are gonna do what they're gonna do.

This can be a valuable learning opportunity. Take some time and examine your dating patterns. What might you have done to attract the wrong people? What do you want in a partner? How can you improve on attracting the kind of person you want. The best opportunities often present themselves when we're not looking for them and when we least expect them.

well this same guy...when he found out my mom has cancer came back into my life...i did not seak him out but he called and sent me messages while I was in the hospital with her...he really likes my mom and he was worried about me...so in a way he is back in my life...the only person I can talk to who doesn't make me feel like **** for saying or doing anything...I am actually greatful hes back in my life..he's been an enormous emotional help to me

Hey Mel..thanks for the update. Sorry to read that your mom isn't doing good. I'll be thinking about her. I have been thinking of you all week.. now I know why. *hugs*

hugs Mary..my second mom lol..loves u :*

hugs Mary..my second mom lol..loves u :*

Hugsss ..love you back! :)