Nucking_Futs
02-16-04, 02:40 AM
OK first off basic history. I have suffered many form's of abuse as a child and young adult; verbal, mental, physical and sexual. At the age of 16 thing's became overwhelming so I tried to end thing's for myself. With the help of a therapist I was able to identify my trigger's and find way's to either avoid them all together or to at least be able to deal with the fallout when one was set off. I have not had to use this survival skill in years, so I find myself struggling right now to find my balance again.
Yesterday, my son tipped a cart over on my daughter while I was holding and trying to feed the baby. This man behind me stated "that if I couldn't handle my children perhaps I should give them to someone else who could". Unfortunatly, the stress my kid's had put me under that day left me totally defenseless and a number of my trigger's were set off. I did not realize it until later that night when I tried to sleep and nightmares and flashbacks started haunting me day and night.
My trigger's are easy to identify; but, avoiding them all together is impossible as most my symptom's have to do with big men, anger, yelling, loud noise's, invasion of space, the smell of alcohol, storms and shoes.
Right now I can't seem to get thing's under control and am feeling very weak and afraid all the time, I keep flinching from my husband and kid's, I just cannot tolerate being touched right now. My memory is down to nile and I cannot keep up with anything going on around me, I can't sleep or eat. I'm between therapist's right now and have had to shut thing's down in my mind for a little while which leaves me extremely stupid, slow and apologetic (it's like I'm driven to say I'm sorry at the beginning and end of every sentence).
I'm wondering is there maybe a temp. med I could take until I get my emotion's back under control or any other helpful ideas would be much appreciated. Like I said I have not had trouble like this in year's and have forgotten my stress eleviating skills.
Thanks,
Cherity
Yesterday, my son tipped a cart over on my daughter while I was holding and trying to feed the baby. This man behind me stated "that if I couldn't handle my children perhaps I should give them to someone else who could". Unfortunatly, the stress my kid's had put me under that day left me totally defenseless and a number of my trigger's were set off. I did not realize it until later that night when I tried to sleep and nightmares and flashbacks started haunting me day and night.
My trigger's are easy to identify; but, avoiding them all together is impossible as most my symptom's have to do with big men, anger, yelling, loud noise's, invasion of space, the smell of alcohol, storms and shoes.
Right now I can't seem to get thing's under control and am feeling very weak and afraid all the time, I keep flinching from my husband and kid's, I just cannot tolerate being touched right now. My memory is down to nile and I cannot keep up with anything going on around me, I can't sleep or eat. I'm between therapist's right now and have had to shut thing's down in my mind for a little while which leaves me extremely stupid, slow and apologetic (it's like I'm driven to say I'm sorry at the beginning and end of every sentence).
I'm wondering is there maybe a temp. med I could take until I get my emotion's back under control or any other helpful ideas would be much appreciated. Like I said I have not had trouble like this in year's and have forgotten my stress eleviating skills.
Thanks,
Cherity