View Full Version : Dead to the world


Matt S.
12-24-07, 09:11 PM
It seems like lately I am unable to function at all, I just sleep and that is about it.

I can't muster up enough to do much at all. I think it is depression even though I am not exactly feeling it.

I just have these feelings of a total void. I think it is due to Depakote but I don't know.

I recently have only been answering PM's and I usually have a lot to say. I just can't stand this feeling I have, it feels like there are no feelings at all.

I don't know I guess I will get over it.

Does anyone else get depressed the same way?

blueyeyore
12-24-07, 10:30 PM
I can't say that I've had a depression like that before. Mine is normally along the lines of...I don't want to kill myself, I just want to be put in a coma until I'm ready to function again.

I was wondering why you haven't been saying much lately.

Not that it's going to change much, but I hope it starts to brighten up for you soon. :)

4gotAgain
12-24-07, 11:52 PM
i understand matt, i have been thru stages, where i am just numb to things. Feeling no feelings at all, just nothing, not a reason to live but not really wanting to die either.
This isnt a good state to be in matt, you start doing risky things not caring now but later on it ends up being a mess.
At the time it feels better than being depressed (wanting to kill yourself) but make sureyou dont do any damage that you might regret later.
hope it goes ok? has christmas had anything to do with it?

EYEFORGOT
12-25-07, 12:27 AM
It seems like lately I am unable to function at all, I just sleep and that is about it.

I can't muster up enough to do much at all. I think it is depression even though I am not exactly feeling it.

I just have these feelings of a total void. I think it is due to Depakote but I don't know.

I recently have only been answering PM's and I usually have a lot to say. I just can't stand this feeling I have, it feels like there are no feelings at all.

I don't know I guess I will get over it.

Does anyone else get depressed the same way?
Yes sweetie, I recognize that kind of depression. I just lay about...not exactly sad...but void...just let me sleep. Sadly, I have to just wait to feel something. Doesn't take long, doesn't take much, I'm too emotional to stay blank for long. But I just sit there waiting.

Have you ever tried giving your brain a little "shock" therapy? Not literally, of course. I mean deliberately reading or watching something especially emotional to you...see if you can feel again? Not saying it will work, but sometimes. Worth a shot so I do it.

Crazy~Feet
12-25-07, 12:57 AM
You bet, brother. It's almost a relief to sleep and avoid the creeping suspicion that although I might be numb at the moment, the tears and pain will come soon enough.

dormammau2008
12-31-07, 01:32 AM
sorry your feeling thst way crazy feet your allways weelocme to pm an chat with me anytime if it helps hun i know what yoour going though been there myself

hugsss dorm

lars
12-31-07, 01:54 AM
It seems like lately I am unable to function at all, I just sleep and that is about it.

I can't muster up enough to do much at all. I think it is depression even though I am not exactly feeling it.

I just have these feelings of a total void. I think it is due to Depakote but I don't know.

I recently have only been answering PM's and I usually have a lot to say. I just can't stand this feeling I have, it feels like there are no feelings at all.

I don't know I guess I will get over it.

Does anyone else get depressed the same way?

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed man. I have gotten depressed in the same way for years. I took Depakote about 7 or 8 year ago, and I too suspected it of making things worse for me. I did not stay on it longer than a few months as a result.

Well, like I said, I have suffered from depression like you decribe most of my life since about the age of 11 or so. Nothing really ever worked for me except cannabis (which is not the best choice for me due to a number of reasons), and the new antidepressant drug called Cymbalta. I've been taking Cymbalta for the last 2.5 months, and I have never felt better as far as my depression is concerned.

I had actually come to the conclusion that I suffered from treatment resistant depression due to how none of the other antidepressant medications ever worked for me, and I tried almost all of them.

I noticed that it was working about a week after starting on it when I noticed that I was actually whistling, or singing songs to myself while doing chores like washing dishes, or doing the laundry. I even told my Dr that I felt like I was turning into "Butters" from the TV show "South Park" due to how I seemed to almost always be chipper about things. I mean I would literaly catch myself singing or whistling during chores or studying, and I would instantly think to myself, "WTF? am I actually starting to experience the benefits of an antidepressant drug?"

Well, it appears that is exactly what I've been experiencing. Cymbalta might not be the drug for you, but I do hope that you keep searching for something that might work as well for you as Cymbalta has worked for me. This drug proved to me what I already knew about the ADD stimulant drugs, and that is that just because a drug is similar in action to another drug, their effects can be as different as night and day, literally.

Please keep us posted on how things unfold for you on that end brother.

QueensU_girl
12-31-07, 01:55 AM
Sounds like you and your Doc need a heart to heart.

sloppitty-sue
12-31-07, 09:53 AM
Mspen - ya, I feel your pain. It's become a way-of-life for me for the past 3 years. Well - maybe I don't feel EXACTLY like you (of course), but I feel stuck and unable to MOVE and do anything. . . NOT GOOD when you're the only caregiver your two kids have got!

Lars - one of the docs I saw when I recently attempted a short trial of an "Intensive Outpatient Program" at my local hospital (how sitting around listening to people whining about how depressed and anxious they are for 6 hours is supposed to help ME with MY DEPRESSION - well - I just didn't find it helpful for ME) suggested I might want to consider trying Cymbalta if increasing my Zoloft doesn't help. I basically said to him that antidepressants don't really do THAT MUCH, do they?

I am very much like YOU WERE. I have taken so many different antidepressants and NONE OF THEM really do much . . . what they do is prevent me from getting too easily upset too frequently. And that comes with the price of having even LESS AMBITION (can't believe that's even possible) to do anything - anything at all -- like the basic brushing my teeth, washing . . . heck, what's next? All that's left is my ambition to actually GET UP and get to a toilet when nature calls. Will THAT GO too???

Hmmmm . . . . Lars - you've really got me considering giving that Cymbalta a try.


Thanks for sharing,
Sue

lars
12-31-07, 11:29 AM
I hope if you try it that it works as good for you as it has for me Sue.

When my Dr first prescribed it to me he told me that it's generally recomended that people start off with 30mg, and then go up to 60mg. After reminding him of how I always needed to raise the dose on all the other antidepressants I had taken in the past to ever feel anything from them (albeit negative side effects from them), he agreed to go ahead and let me start off at 60mg.

I'm not saying that you should try and start off at that dose or anything like that. I am just wanting to share as much about my experience as possible since it started working so quickly for me.

Cymbalta is the only drug I've ever taken that does not have a single side effect that I can detect. I've been really amazed with it thus far.

Please keep us posted on how things unfold for you on that end Sue.

amiegrace
01-06-08, 03:41 PM
I was just telling someone yesterday, when I was on Depakote, it wasn't like I was depressed, I was just blaaaaaaaah. Which was totally unlike the creative, kinetic person I was (although admittedly a tad . . . off kilter). All I wanted to do was sleep and eat. I was docile and agreeable and kind of like a pregnant sheep . . . just duh. Perhaps that's a little what you're experiencing? I mean, half my hair fell out, I got cystic acne from it, and I was ballooning in size and it was just kind of like, oh well.

I never felt myself on it.

However, what you are describing also sounds like how I feel in the fall/winter if I don't use my super-bright light all winter long.

NonSequitur
01-06-08, 11:23 PM
I was thinking the same thing, amiegrace. Around this time of year, I used to feel tired, fatigued, dull, blah, didn't want to do anything more than lie on the couch like a potato.

Now I sit with my bright light for 20 - 30 minutes in the morning and I feel much better. Although right now I 'm having trouble with motivation, but I'm thinking that's after-Christmas blahs.

I've been feeling a little depressed too, my husband says I have no fizz. I'm hoping it won't last.

Hope you're feeling better soon and things work out for you.

amiegrace
01-19-08, 03:52 PM
Non Sequitur,

I've been experimenting with my amount of light for a few years, and I find in the dead of winter I need about an hour, even slightly more, in late Dec, Jan, and Feb to feel normal. The lack of motivation is definitely correlated with the amount of light I get. I have to get up at 5 am in order to get 45 minutes or I would be getting more.

Dory
01-21-08, 02:16 AM
I also have felt that way for quite a while mspen, so I do know how you feel. Sometimes I think its the weather but I'm not sure. I've battled with depression on and off for many many years and have spent the last 3 months basically not moving from my couch and probably the last 6 months or so being depressed. I anxiously await spring and summer and hope it will get better, along with my new antidepressant. :-) I know everyone says the same thing but I hope you feel better soon.

QueensU_girl
01-21-08, 02:38 PM
re: 12

My SO was just mentioning HE felt this way LAST NIGHT, you guys!

He said, "I don't feel depressed (sad, morbid thoughts, excessive guilt), but I just feel like a bear: Heavy, sleepy and tired."

We are going to be getting a SAD Light on EBAY this week, I think!

Part of it is the time of year...

REALLY REALLY try to get early morning Sunshine if you can...

NonSequitur
01-23-08, 12:59 PM
amiegrace, I'll try more time with the light. I dont mind spending another half hour or so reading and listening to music.

Hope you're feeling better Matt.

Matt S.
01-23-08, 02:30 PM
Oh I am definitely fine now, I just had a period of irritablity and a rough patch or two after that but I am a lot better now.

Thanks for the support and concern

~boots~
01-23-08, 08:14 PM
Oh I am definitely fine now, I just had a period of irritablity and a rough patch or two after that but I am a lot better now.

Thanks for the support and concern
yah..Matt's back :p
I'm glad you're fine

MaNaeSWolf
01-24-08, 06:59 PM
It seems like lately I am unable to function at all, I just sleep and that is about it.

I can't muster up enough to do much at all. I think it is depression even though I am not exactly feeling it.

I just have these feelings of a total void. I think it is due to Depakote but I don't know.

I recently have only been answering PM's and I usually have a lot to say. I just can't stand this feeling I have, it feels like there are no feelings at all.

I don't know I guess I will get over it.

Does anyone else get depressed the same way?

You discribe how I sometimes feel from time to time to a tee.
And it wears off as you seem to be better now.
I am a non medicator, It usually wears away, and I feel that everytime I go through what you discribed it gets better and I can sort of get out of it quicker.
Hope you stay happy n chirpy!

dyingInside
01-25-08, 01:05 AM
I can definitely identify with that situation...I've been feeling pretty lethargic myself lately... it's been overcast and rainy too much. Just don't care unless I'm forced to. What others have said regarding seasonal affective disorder could definitely be a factor.

Can cymbalta be prescribed for bipolar?