I started to think that I might have ADD about 2 years ago.
I thought that this must be a good thing because I was relatively happy with my life.
My jobs as a machinist , machine designer and lastlly a Network admin have all required imagination and the ability to juggle many things.

Then I had a life changing moment that made me review my actions dealing with the people arround me.

I realized that this ADD thing has caused many issues with my family and past freinds. (past freinds because I have none currently)

My ability to compartmentalize things (because of ADD) has allowed me to justify or ignore all of my negative interactions.

I decided to seek treatment and have been on Concerta for a little over a month. I am thinking clearer. I am finishing things.

But, I can no longer compartmentalize easily.
So, work problems come home, home problems go to work, and worst of all, I have been holding myself accountable for every problem I may have caused in the last 33 years.
I have been self analyzing myself very hard and am seeing all of my failures. (ones I never saw or added up before)

After every problem, I would just move on and never see the root cause nor try to prevent it from happening again. Now I see all of those things added together and feel terrible.

I also have been mourning for time lost and opportunities missed.
I am 33 and have very few social skills.

I can only hope that this is temporary as I am seeing improvements in my day to day life.

I guess the question would be, Is it normal to self analyze so hard and feel so down on myself after either coming to grips with having ADD or starting treatment?

Steve,
I have been in the same boat. I am 44 and was diagnosed in October. I to spent and still do some a lot of time wondering if I said the right or wrong thing. Because of our past it is natural we see only failures. If you look back I think you will see that you have done a lot of positive thing in your life. I cannot speak for you, but I am slowly understanding that I am a good person who has a lot to offer. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future. Try to find out as much as you can about your ADD. There is a huge upside to this. It is easy to say this, but harder to do it. I am sure this forum will be a good place for lots of info and support.
Jim

I hadn't even realized how negative I was getting, until my wife commented on it.

I wrote this up becuase I finally recognized what I was doing.

Yes, I intend to see the positives.

Thanks for you kind words.

Steven.

Anytime Steve,
I get easily get sidetracted by the negative.
Jim

I know just what you are talking about, Steve. 5 days ago I skidded my car on a sandy street and was involved in a very minor traffic accident. The next day I got a ticket I thought I didn't deserve and I explained why, but i got it anyway. $90!

I'm mad at myself. But it doesn't help and it won't go away. No one got hurt. the damage to my car was minimal.

My strategy is going to be to divide the bad events into categories, and not punish myself endlessly for ~everything.~ Sure, some things have resulted from bad choices I made, but some come from others' acts (Examples: a repair my dentist did yesterday caused a gold crown to fall out; a beautiful songbird flew into our kitchen window and broke its neck). Some things are just random. I'm not depressed, I am just fed up. I don't know exactly how I am going to do it, but not sleeping and not enjoying life is a bad deal, too. I'd welcome advice on how to break this cycle of self-deprecation.

I didn't do this until I started getting into rethinking my upbringing, my relationships, and my ADD. I am 63 and I wasted so much of my life being goofy. Now I think I'm being my own mother!

Hi Steve,

I completely understand how you feel. I am feeling quite frustrated with myself right now. I have definitely analyzed and over analyzed myself. It's actually gotten to the point where I measure everything thing I do, why and if I could have done it better. If I made a mistake due to ADD I try to find a solution not to make that mistake again. I have done a lot of damage in my own family and have in the past had blow ups with each of my siblings about how my parents had to spend more time with me because I was such a problem in my earlier years. I wish I had known what I know now. I am planning on giving them each a book on ADD that I am currently reading. It's really great and full of good information and insight. You may have heard of it, "Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults" by Dr. Lynn Weiss. She also has also written another book "ADD on the Job" which I am going to read next. Pick them up and give them a read if you haven't already. You had also mentioned in your post about how you compartmentalize things. It sounds like foor you compartmentalizing seemed to be both good and bad. For me, I could just never do it and always wished I could, even just a little bit, because everything for me gets so large and mixed together sometimes it makes me crazy. I'm so thankful for this board and knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this. I totally understand how your feeling and my heart goes out to you. You will get through the negative feelings. It takes a while to accept these things that you can't change but there is always a new day and a "new way" to work with what we can't change for "different" and better results. You just have to have some faith in yourself and patience. I think I am telling "myself" this too as I say it to you. Please hang in there and know that now that you "know" why some things happened in your past, you can make changes and make a difference. It'll take some work but you can do it. Good luck to you and keep posting. Dee