I have been struggling to understand the meaning of life. Can any one out there give me a hand? Everyone must face the challenges of life with every bit of strength and endurance they can find. The limitations of individual experience and subjective reality are great. A psychiatrists asked me "How is your world today, imsietze?". I have have been greeted in many ways (i.e., "How are you? or What"s up? or ga' day mate or how's-it? or konigiwa? and so on) but never like that. I was startled and agitated by the implied condesendance of a man I had placed my trust in. I had begun to question the wisdom of that choice. The belief system and values created by personal experience and socialization as an American were failing to guide me through darkness that was beginning to cover everything in sight. My response to him was, "What? I thought we shared the same world". My assumptions were, of course, incorrect. You cannot trust anyone

The overriding disfunctionality of my life keeps me constantly on guard. Now I have to deal with an external time pressured important decision. Should I go to rehab? I don't have any problem going to rehab if it will help me? I just cannot figure it out. I have have been "experienced" (as denoted by the DEA Cowboys) for a long time. I tried LSD, pot, beer, peyote, Rainbows (barbituates) and some **** I don't even know it"s name but never got addicted. I gave most of that up a little before a long time age. I have been taking Dexedrine for over a decade at a higher level then suggested in the DSM-IV. I am extremely dependent upon it to accomplish any thing positive in my life. It really doesn't work very well.
Sometimes it deos not motivate or allow me to focus behond the depression. I sometimes fall asleep on higher doses than my mine. I don't take the pills by the handfull like Robert Colbert rather one pill at a time over long periods, as prescribed. Some of the side effects I have are sleeplessness and alot of enery. However I do now have a list of co-morbid ADHD ailments that I have created since my diagnosis. I just cannot fiqure it out.

I have never been abused by any one as much as by the "tweekers" I had to be around for a while. They ripped me off and be-trayed me. I don't want to be dependent on anything. Taking a contolled substance is an expense and a ligistical hastle that can get very complicated. I hate the monthly routine of calling my doctor every month to remind him to write my prescription and then all the driving around to his office and the pharmacy. And the complications of simple trying to provide the best for yourself with something so basic is absurd and frustrating. If I don't need to do all I have to do now for medication that has really f*#ked me up I'd like to get away from it. But I don't think I'm all that f*#ked up!

The nightmare my life has become is like a surreal, everlasting Hollween. I'm living on a roller-coaster in the Twight Zone. I'm up and down and twisted around at every turn. I need to find the straight path I had managed to follow for so long before I lost sight of it and fell into this black hole with a shovel and pick. So I was wondering if anyone could through me a rope? And I'm taking a pole. If you clapped clic once. Thank You!

I have been struggling to understand the meaning of life. Can any one out there give me a hand? Everyone must face the challenges of life with every bit of strength and endurance they can find. The limitations of individual experience and subjective reality are great. A psychiatrists asked me "How is your world today, imsietze?". I have have been greeted in many ways (i.e., "How are you? or What"s up? or ga' day mate or how's-it? or konigiwa? and so on) but never like that. I was startled and agitated by the implied condesendance of a man I had placed my trust in. I had begun to question the wisdom of that choice. The belief system and values created by personal experience and socialization as an American were failing to guide me through darkness that was beginning to cover everything in sight. My response to him was, "What? I thought we shared the same world". My assumptions were, of course, incorrect. You cannot trust anyone

The overriding disfunctionality of my life keeps me constantly on guard. Now I have to deal with an external time pressured important decision. Should I go to rehab? I don't have any problem going to rehab if it will help me? I just cannot figure it out. I have have been "experienced" (as denoted by the DEA Cowboys) for a long time. I tried LSD, pot, beer, peyote, Rainbows (barbituates) and some **** I don't even know it"s name but never got addicted. I gave most of that up a little before a long time age. I have been taking Dexedrine for over a decade at a higher level then suggested in the DSM-IV. I am extremely dependent upon it to accomplish any thing positive in my life. It really doesn't work very well.
Sometimes it deos not motivate or allow me to focus behond the depression. I sometimes fall asleep on higher doses than my mine. I don't take the pills by the handfull like Robert Colbert rather one pill at a time over long periods, as prescribed. Some of the side effects I have are sleeplessness and alot of enery. However I do now have a list of co-morbid ADHD ailments that I have created since my diagnosis. I just cannot fiqure it out.

I have never been abused by any one as much as by the "tweekers" I had to be around for a while. They ripped me off and be-trayed me. I don't want to be dependent on anything. Taking a contolled substance is an expense and a ligistical hastle that can get very complicated. I hate the monthly routine of calling my doctor every month to remind him to write my prescription and then all the driving around to his office and the pharmacy. And the complications of simple trying to provide the best for yourself with something so basic is absurd and frustrating. If I don't need to do all I have to do now for medication that has really f*#ked me up I'd like to get away from it. But I don't think I'm all that f*#ked up!

The nightmare my life has become is like a surreal, everlasting Hollween. I'm living on a roller-coaster in the Twight Zone. I'm up and down and twisted around at every turn. I need to find the straight path I had managed to follow for so long before I lost sight of it and fell into this black hole with a shovel and pick. So I was wondering if anyone could through me a rope? And I'm taking a pole. If you clapped clic once. Thank You!

Hello imseitze,

I'm sorry you feel that way about your doc. I don't think you should look at his words as condescending of any sort. Remember, that you go to him as a patient seeking professional help and he is not your peer nor equal. I feel that in order for a doctor to help you, they must step outside of the box (your world), so he can analyze and diagnose you correctly.

Now the same thing would apply if the doctor in turn asked for your "professional" help. For example, if you were a policeman, you will have to step back and look at the larger picture in order to protect him correctly. You are not there to be his friend or peer. I believe these type of relationships are a must and you should not feel like you are some type of lesser being.

We all have our ups and downs. Others are luckier and have more ups than downs, but it happens. So far I can already tell you are better off than many people already. You have the ability to pay for a psych and meds, which means most likely you have a job with health insurance(hopefully). Think how it could always be worst, but do not settle with that. You need to find more ways to better your life and yourself.

I feel that many people like to focus and blame all their issues on either mental conditions or medications. Maybe you should try to take a step back and analyze yourself. If you need the meds to function, but also blame it for all your issues, then you are just digging yourself a deeper hole. You will trap yourself in a little vortex.

I dunno, just my 2 cents. No shame in getting some help. You may want to talk to a therapist/psychologist, instead of a psychiatrist for your problems.
Have a good one man.

Psychiatrists are people too and make off the cuff remarks without thinking about them.

Don't read too much into one comment but be aware of a long term pattern.

I've got a feeling that some people do psychology and psychiatry to try and understand their own messed up world and end up doing it as a job because it's what they're qualified in and they just sort of slip into it.

From my university experiences I'm also of the opinion that psychology students spend too much navel gazing into their own psyche and using their fellow students as labrats and that doesn't do much good to their young and still developing brain.

Logically...if you've been on Dexedrine for 10 years no one will know if you will perform better or worse without it, they're just guessing. Even you don't know.

So the important thing is to ensure that if you do decide to reduce/stop your intake that going back on them is not seen as "failure" if is is apparent that the effect is going to be negative in the long term.

Professional people allow their judgement to be clouded by populist clamour and often do not ake an objective position where street abuseable drugs are concerned. It is important that you ensure that professionals involved in your case have an open mind regarding the positives and negatives in the way you use medication to achieve the goals you have set yourself in life.

kilt

Hello imseitze,

I'm sorry you feel that way about your doc. I don't think you should look at his words as condescending of any sort. Remember, that you go to him as a patient seeking professional help and he is not your peer nor equal. I feel that in order for a doctor to help you, they must step outside of the box (your world), so he can analyze and diagnose you correctly.

Now the same thing would apply if the doctor in turn asked for your "professional" help. For example, if you were a policeman, you will have to step back and look at the larger picture in order to protect him correctly. You are not there to be his friend or peer. I believe these type of relationships are a must and you should not feel like you are some type of lesser being.

We all have our ups and downs. Others are luckier and have more ups than downs, but it happens. So far I can already tell you are better off than many people already. You have the ability to pay for a psych and meds, which means most likely you have a job with health insurance(hopefully). Think how it could always be worst, but do not settle with that. You need to find more ways to better your life and yourself.

I feel that many people like to focus and blame all their issues on either mental conditions or medications. Maybe you should try to take a step back and analyze yourself. If you need the meds to function, but also blame it for all your issues, then you are just digging yourself a deeper hole. You will trap yourself in a little vortex.

I dunno, just my 2 cents. No shame in getting some help. You may want to talk to a therapist/psychologist, instead of a psychiatrist for your problems.
Have a good one man.

Thanks for your reply. I don't explain myself very well. The social institution of medicine and the interruptation of it's functionality is a broad issue. My socialization conditioned me to respect authority and trust on rank for direction. It takes many trials before I can assure myself that I understand anything very well; like sticking my hand into a flame another time to find out about heat, burn and pain. It took repeated encounters with psychiatrists and psycholoogists for my current opinion to develo

As a professional photographer for twenty years, with a formal education and trianing, I understand and expext the same degree of moral integruity and accountability that I applied to my own career from psychiatry. I learned to accept and solve challenges presented to me with a sense of responsibility for the trust that people but in me for a two-dimensional image. When I presented the result the response was immediately apparent by the expression of the client's reaction. The psycholoigcal and physical authority over our health that we need to give to doctors for life threatening ailments requires much higher trust with a corresponding responsbility and accountability. I have been disappointed by the seemimgly inefficient, harmful systemic failure of the present methodology of behavorial science.

I personally would not take the statement" "How is your world today, imsietze?" in any negative way.
I think everyone really does live in there own world, people, places and events are all processed and experienced differently by each person. There for each person's "world" aka "life" are different even if we are technically on the same planet and have the same kind of experiences. He probably meant it as "how are things in your life?"

You have to remember people are human and are subject to mistakes and slip ups. No one is perfect and you can't expect them to be.
But if there is a pattern with a doctor not listening or respecting you then thats different.

I personally would not take the statement" "How is your world today, imsietze?" in any negative way.
I think everyone really does live in there own world, people, places and events are all processed and experienced differently by each person. There for each person's "world" aka "life" are different even if we are technically on the same planet and have the same kind of experiences. He probably meant it as "how are things in your life?"

You have to remember people are human and are subject to mistakes and slip ups. No one is perfect and you can't expect them to be.
But if there is a pattern with a doctor not listening or respecting you then thats different.


The immediate response I had would not appear as appropriate and objective, however, under the specific circumstances I recognized a condescending posture from a very familiar pompous prick. I am in no position to judge anyone. The expression of, "How is your world today", may be intended to recgnizie our individuality or have other implied meaning. So when greeted at that time and place my interruptation was being influenced by the lack of attention to care and being treated indifferently as an object.

A little off topic imsietze, but i was digging around n this forum and read a short post about ur current state of life. you sound like you have a lot of things you want to get out of ur system..which is good...but everything you write are semi short posts. Have you ever thought writing about your life? I don't know if you can post it or not, but maybe even just writing it for urself to read. Starting from the best of times to the worst of times? Just something that i tried awhile ago which helped me a lot. I was so busy being frustrated with one thing after the next, I lost track of what my real problems were. I was pretty much lost in this zone of temporary emotions. For us ADD ppl, I think organization is where its at.

A little off topic imsietze, but i was digging around n this forum and read a short post about ur current state of life. you sound like you have a lot of things you want to get out of ur system..which is good...but everything you write are semi short posts. Have you ever thought writing about your life? I don't know if you can post it or not, but maybe even just writing it for urself to read. Starting from the best of times to the worst of times? Just something that i tried awhile ago which helped me a lot. I was so busy being frustrated with one thing after the next, I lost track of what my real problems were. I was pretty much lost in this zone of temporary emotions. For us ADD ppl, I think organization is where its at.

Yes I have thought about writting it all down chronologicaly to get it organized for myself but I can't get past the cover design. The posts do provide me a means of expressing my frustration by itemizing the issues I have. The number of threads I am posting now are being instigated by externally generated time pressured circumstances and getting way outside of my control. I am frightened of the prospoect that I will find myself becoming more dependant on other peoples opinions. I hope to find some knowledge that will enpower me to make the right choices.