I have it very, very mildly, i have many friends and can keep relationships, etc, etc. I am innatentive though and i know i do have social anxiety to some extent. Why though? What about innatentive add causes it?

ps. i read somewhere and it was TOTALLY true (for me) that hyperactive people are better at being outgoing and people tend to like them at the beginning but that it is harder for them to keep friendships/etc.

but that the innatentive type have a harder time actually MAKING friends, but once they do, its forever. what do ya think?

I'm not exactly sure what causes it, but I have it too depending on the situation. With friends, family, and co-workers I have no social anxiety at all. But put me in a room full of strangers for work/meeting or at a party and I can be a total 'wallflower'. For some reason, I also tend to isolate myself from others more in the winter time (SAD??).

It seems to be an intrinsic aspect of the 3 ADHDs.

I think it's caused generally as we grow up we feel different, then eventually we know we are different. I think it's learned behaviour personally, but it's the result of what makes us us. Obviously people aren't always attracted to an inattentive, impulsive, hyperactive person as they would someone who listens to them, thinks before they do things, and is calm and collected. Make sense? (I should note I'm Combined ADHD)

I find myself in both categories unfortunately. I'm like the purely inattentives in that I don't make any relationship because of the social anxiety in the first place. I'm like the impulsive/hyperactives in that when I do open up, people say I'm the life of the party and "fun" whatever the hell that means. Seriously, my support worker who started working with me when I was thinking of acting on my normal baseline suicidal thoughts and was extremely anxious even said on the second visit "I'm going to like working with you, you're really fun." Hello!? WTF?

I tend to keep friends that get to know me really well forever, they never have any reason to leave me, as I'm fiercly loyal and devoted to friends. I give without asking too much actually.

Major Exception: My best friend of 6 years now wants to kill me because he really ****ed me over and I didn't take it in the ***. It caused him trouble so he's threatened to kill me and it abruptly ended our friendship.

Anyway, my thoughts.

I've read that it might be because if you're really inattentive and dreamy, you permanently live in a sort of "dream-bubble", disconnected from the real world. This should then trigger your "fight-or-flight" reflex because in this disconnected state you're more vulnerable; and that could lead to a permanent state of anxiety.

But I've also felt it in a more direct way ... I clearly remember feeling "different" even when I was 5 years old because I could not share my thoughts and emotions with others .. they thought I was strange, weird. Add being bullied because you're sluggish, shy and uncoordinated to that. I think that is a good recipe for instilling social anxiety in a child - that can last a lifetime.

Funny enough, medication (both ritalin and dex) do break down the dream bubble and the anxiety quite effectively for me.

Might be related to D2 dopamine receptors.

1: Am J Psychiatry. 2000 Mar;157(3):457-9.
Links
Comment in:
Am J Psychiatry. 2001 Feb;158(2):327-8.
Low dopamine D(2) receptor binding potential in social phobia.
Schneier FR, Liebowitz MR, Abi-Dargham A, Zea-Ponce Y, Lin SH, Laruelle M.

Anxiety Disorders Clinic and the Brain Imaging Division, New York State Psychiatric Institute, New York 10032, USA. frs1@columbia.edu

OBJECTIVE: This study compared dopamine D(2) receptor binding potential in patients with social phobia and healthy comparison subjects. METHOD: Dopamine D(2) receptor binding potential was assessed in 10 unmedicated subjects with generalized social phobia and no significant lifetime psychiatric comorbidity and 10 healthy comparison subjects matched for age and sex. Binding potential was measured in the striatum by using single photon emission computerized tomography and constant infusion of the D(2) receptor radiotracer [(123)I]iodobenzamide ([(123)I]IBZM). RESULTS: Mean D(2) receptor binding potential was significantly lower in the subjects with social phobia than in the comparison subjects. Within the social phobia group, there was a nonsignificant correlation of binding potential with the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale score. CONCLUSIONS: Generalized social phobia may be associated with low binding of [(123)I]IBZM to D(2) receptors in the striatum.

PMID: 10698826 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

1: Neurobiol Dis. 2007 Apr;26(1):201-11. Epub 2006 Dec 29.
Links
D2-like dopamine receptors mediate the response to amphetamine in a mouse model of ADHD.
Fan X, Hess EJ.

Department of Neurology, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Baltimore, MD 21287, USA.

The mechanisms underlying the effects of psychostimulants in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are not well understood, but indirect evidence implicates D2 dopamine receptors. Here we dissect the components of dopaminergic neurotransmission in the hyperactive mouse mutant coloboma to identify pre- and postsynaptic elements essential for the effects of amphetamine in these mice. Amphetamine treatment reduced locomotor activity in coloboma mice, but induced a robust increase in dopamine overflow suggesting that abnormal regulation of dopamine efflux does not account for the behavioral effect. However, the D2-like dopamine receptor antagonists haloperidol and raclopride, but not the D1-like dopamine receptor antagonist SCH23390, blocked the amphetamine-induced reduction in locomotor activity in coloboma mice, providing direct evidence that D2-like dopamine receptors mediate the effect of amphetamine in these mice. With the precedent established that it is possible to directly antagonize this response, this strategy should prove useful for identifying novel therapeutics in ADHD.

PMID: 17291774 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

Hate it too. Was soo shy I couldnt order a ####### pizza! Much better these days though, maybe it goes away with age. It was always odd to me that people lable me as out going and I think of myself as shy. I guess both..

I agree that it is difficult for ADDers to make friends. There are so many reasons, shyness, internal worries and fear of failure to name a few. The most important thing to remember is that what we believe and how we feel about ourselves internally goes a long way in directing how you are with others and how they will like you. The more we like ourselves and build our self esteem the easier it gets to meet new people and make new friends, the good kind of friends, not just the superficial.

There is a lot more to this subject, if you like, please visit my blog, I have written several articles about relationships and ADD which might give you some insight from another ADDer's perspective.

hi you need to read answers to distractions by edward m hallowell mdand john j rateyit talks about this stuff i also find myself hugging the walls and off being alone at family christmas partys

ps. i read somewhere and it was TOTALLY true (for me) that hyperactive people are better at being outgoing and people tend to like them at the beginning but that it is harder for them to keep friendships/etc.
?
:p geez..that is the most annoying trait....I hate that...

For me, I too get anxious when it comes to interacting with strangers. Prior to being drugged - er, medicated - I'd get a rush of 'if, else' conditions that would flood my head and all these scenarios would start spreading like wildfire througout my head, what if they say/do this, ask that, do they know about this/that, do I hold the door, open it first, etc..

That's all just within the first few seconds of the "engagement". So ultimately, I found it easier to just avoid people because the stress became too much.

Now, I find it easier for me to just let others initiate. Let them take the first stab at it and then I can manage my way from there but I'll rarely (if ever) initiate conversations with strangers. Secondly, if it's someone I know or sort of know, or think I know - I'll 9 times out of 10, do the same - let them take the first step.

I figure that way, if they don't say anything to me then they don't want to talk to me and therefore saves me from embarassing myself or wasting their time.

But I've also felt it in a more direct way ... I clearly remember feeling "different" even when I was 5 years old because I could not share my thoughts and emotions with others .. they thought I was strange, weird. Add being bullied because you're sluggish, shy and uncoordinated to that. I think that is a good recipe for instilling social anxiety in a child - that can last a lifetime.

Wow, I totally relate! As early as I can remember the evidence began to build that there was "something wrong with me" ... that I was different. As a child I tended to be lost in my own thoughts and unaware of what was going on around me - and this was pointed out to me time after time (got called space-cadet, too, of course). Forgot to do things all the time and was called a liar for it. Oh my, and then came school. Couldn't relate to others. Felt baffled by them and afraid of them. I'd had an over-abundance of anxiety already, and once I had my first sand-castle stomped in kindergarten I realized that people are dangerous and not to be trusted. Invisibility became my defense mechanism. Quite effective in class, but impossible in Phys Ed - which became an ongoing nightmare.

So what chicken/egg came before what egg/chicken? I'm sure there are many of us who handled rejection without immediately constructing barriers against the entire world as I did. I'm positive that my life experiences were not extraordinarily bad. I just had an extraordinarily bad reaction to them.

Is ADHD responsible for my social anxiety? I suppose it contributed to me feeling so different in the first place, but I don't really know. I can't imagine what's it's like to be another way so just can't project it. I had so much anxiety to begin with (born into fear, it seems), that it may not have made any difference - since we're always bound to be hurt by someone eventually.

soccerloven - You say you have it very, very mildly - I've known people who appear to be very confident and outgoing on the outside, but have many hidden insecurities. Its possible that the people around you are feeling the same way.

post 2
"The unexamined life is not worth living."

post 11
"PARADISE... is exactly like where you are right now, only much... much... better..." - Laurie
Anderson

exactly

:-)

Why does ADD cause social anxiety?Because :

-1-
life around life unexaminers (nonADDers) is not worth living
-2-
PARADISE'd be exactly where we are right now, only much... much... better... if it weren't for nonADDer unconstrained illogical behaviour.

ADD and (not ADD) are modalities of thought
- not people.

(nonADDer) + honest self enquiry (proper education) -> ADDerSense wasn't enough - it seemed
{{{clears voice}}}

- a renegade group of freedom fighters -

:-)
(it seemed)
were *needed* to be made to feel 'bad'
- to usher in immediate societal change -
- so it seemed

to align our actual and idealized behaviours

- to free our selves from our former self -
and NOT some other self.

-*-

Social anxiety (taking the other perspective)
... is seeing the look on the face of some hardened nonADD thought process container vessel - when ADDer engages
hypehyperdrihyperdriveverdrive.

Imagine a nonADDer thought process in the company of ADDers.

ADD is contagious
- the infectious idea or meme as the higher neural correlate to its associated lower physical structure (of the nerve cell)
as essentially equivalent to the
->- virus (container vessel to 'selfish' genes)

Social anxiety
... is seeing the look on the face of some hardened nonADD thought process container vessel - when ADDer engages
hypehyperdrihyperdriveverdrive and then starts criss-crossing lines of thought with seemingly bizarre tangential connectivities.

-*-

ADDer fun

(an aside)
find some annoying egocentric nonADDer -
then play with his mind.

Keep going faster -
and faster -
and faster ... ... ...

he'll learn
they all learn

(eventually)

how to engage -
- and with engagement - they become 'better' -
where 'better' cannot be defined without adopting a perspective over man with mind -
- rather than the view through the eyes of mind of man.

wow, you are cool.

I have it very, very mildly, i have many friends and can keep relationships, etc, etc. I am innatentive though and i know i do have social anxiety to some extent. Why though? What about innatentive add causes it?

ps. i read somewhere and it was TOTALLY true (for me) that hyperactive people are better at being outgoing and people tend to like them at the beginning but that it is harder for them to keep friendships/etc.

but that the innatentive type have a harder time actually MAKING friends, but once they do, its forever. what do ya think?

I agree with what you said.. Its probably because Add are calmer and people like them more? idk.. they're not as impulsive
Adhd are all over the place and impulsive which may cause them to say "the wrong thing at the wrong time" and ppl dont like that?.. plus some1 hyper could get annoying

Most my social anxiety tends to be concentrated around group interaction... If you get me in a social situation where there tends to be several people in a conversation, I tend to get overwhelmed, especially if it's a subject that interests me and I want to get involved. I have a really hard time formulating thoughts for conversation... it feels like my brain tends to process the information just a tiny bit slower than everyone else, so by the time I get a fully completed thought ready to say and interject in conversation, it's too late. The conversation generally has already moved on from the point where I was trying to respond. It's frustrating.... I feel like I rarely get the chance to be heard... and I'd rather just not deal with the entire thing.

Most my social anxiety tends to be concentrated around group interaction... If you get me in a social situation where there tends to be several people in a conversation, I tend to get overwhelmed, especially if it's a subject that interests me and I want to get involved. I have a really hard time formulating thoughts for conversation... it feels like my brain tends to process the information just a tiny bit slower than everyone else, so by the time I get a fully completed thought ready to say and interject in conversation, it's too late. The conversation generally has already moved on from the point where I was trying to respond. It's frustrating.... I feel like I rarely get the chance to be heard... and I'd rather just not deal with the entire thing.
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I get this too, but other than frustration it doesn't cause any anxiety, people have insulted me far too often that what I say is "way out there" and they can't see the connection, so I don't give a rat's *** if they hear what I have to say or not anymore.

I get this too, but other than frustration it doesn't cause any anxiety, people have insulted me far too often that what I say is "way out there" and they can't see the connection, so I don't give a rat's *** if they hear what I have to say or not anymore.

With me.... I rarely get the chance to contribute to the conversation at all. So I get pegged as being shy or snobby, and if I do get the chance to speak because someone else deliberately asks for my input, I usually blow my chance because I'm put on the spot, so I just end up stuttering and saying the first thing that comes to mind even though 90% of the time it's not an accurate statement of how I really feel on the subject.... I'm just trying to fill in space.

I agree with what you said.. Its probably because Add are calmer and people like them more? idk.. they're not as impulsive ...
That's also true maybe .. though I was bullied bc of my dreaminess / sluggishness at school, later on, some people thought it was actually quite cute ("she's sweet but strange/difficult" - heard that quite a number of times). Friends that I get to know rarely dump me.

:oWell must I say I'm really not social. I have very few friends and i purposely keep it that way. The real reason I am that way is because of the fact that I tend to do a lot of stupid things(not focusing, and forgetting things). A lot of times when people talk to me for some reason it takes me a while to process everything and I have no clue what the heck they're talking about until five minutes later. I started acting that way when I got in the fifth grade. I started noticing how evil school could be so I hardly ever hung out with anybody. Every year in school I would make at least two to three close friends so it's not that bad. But as far as going to parties and just making conversation with a group a people is definently not my cup of tea.

If ADHD people are more likely to have social anxiety than it may be because it is harder for us to speak fluently and cary on organized conversations. It however is very common to be shy, there is nothing ADHD about that. You probably are just shy like everyone else.

My social withdrawal doesn't seem to be original to my temperment. I can recall specific instances where my preschool self was open-hearted and without anxiety at the prospect of meeting a new person or joining a group. Whether or not I would notice that there were others around me is another matter, but I feel that my social anxiety was a conditioned response.

My earliest recollection of thought is of comparing and contrasting the emotions of others to my own. As I became exposed to more people, invariably I came at odds with someone who would expect my mind to follow their direction or pattern of thought.

It became easier to just avoid contact with people, rather than face that inevitable 'tell' on someone's face or in the tone of their voice.

I never really hated or rejected those around me, but I withdrew everything from them except for a falsified puppet that got along mostly by brash and misdirection. I would feel the need for love, a terrible longing, but how could I give love to others, when I was always conscious of and willing to play a meta-game of perceptual manipulation?

I sure as Hell don't know the answer.

ADHD people have social anxiety because it is harder for us to speak fluently and carry on organized conversations.

That would be me! I tend to write better than I speak but I also find I struggle more on a social level rather than a professional one. I struggle more talking with adults than I do with children.

I didn't realize social anxiety was caused by ADD. I knew they tend to go hand-in-hand but I didn't realize one was causing the other. It makes a lot of sense though. It's the very reason why I live my life in a box.

hmm, so i have to ask,
for those of you who are on medications for your ADD/ADHD, has your social anxieties improved? do you find you're able to speak fluently and carry on organized conversations now?

Yes. When I am not medicated, I lose my train of thought in conversation. This used to make me feel awkward. Because of my success on medication, I am confident when talking to people.

I was shy when I was a kid and later, before taking meds, because I feared that I would say the wrong thing or forget the most simple word. Especially when I'd go to a job interview... probably which is why I haven't gotten a steady job yet. But after I graduate, I should be fine. Actually, later I sometimes gained some confidence, then I'd go into a mood where I didn't feel like going anywhere... and just wanted to stay home and watch tv (a movie dvd or video)... I especially used to hate going to my inlaw's house... afraid, again, that I'd say the wrong thing or something stupid.

Most likely ADD can cause social anxiety because - ADD'ers are afraid that they'll say the wrong thing or not able to think of the right word or even the simplest word.

I'm 33 and have an incomprehension of how Normals have their social lives. Like I have no idea how or why a person would want to have a standard wedding.
For most of my life conversations with people were like acts - a voice in my head saying, "Now you make your listening face and keep nodding. Now ask a follow up question. Good." I felt like an alien until about a year or two ago. Still don't really enjoy having conversations because I feel this "pull" away from the conversation - an impatience, a feeling that there must be something else I could be doing, but what?
I've never had a lot of friends - usually just one that I worship and adore. And then my rule of thumb is just like - when you're with this person, you do whatever you can to make that person happy - just agree with everything they say. I'm really passive.
I shy away from group situations because I always end up being the butt and I've never been able to figure out why.
Never really dated much or ever had a serious relationship. I had one that lasted 6 months and again, it was just an alcohol fueled act.
I'm going to a party this afternoon because I feel like I should but history has shown me that I probably won't enjoy it. Drinking usually helps me socialize, of course.

In my opinion, I think with the "inattentive" ADD...people are viewed as somewhat "spacey" and "dumb" (we are not AT ALL, but as a whole I feel like I'm in my own little world sometimes and most people don't "get" it). So we are unsure of ourselves...and tend to be nervous around people we don't know. I'm a mixture of both...so it just depends for me...

Im terribly self-conscious... I know that I stand out like a sore thumb whereever I go, so now ive just resigned myself to be myself at least... cause im a terrible neurotypical actor... unless im intoxicated.

inattentive- I hate when someone puts you on the spot to join conversation, and you say what, or have that total stumbled look like you just woke up that they either make fun of you, restart the conversation without you and completely leave you out. I've made many unrealistic observations of people leaving me out, being mean, or unwelcoming for reasons I never knew and no one told me why in the past. so some of my anxiety is inwards and sometimes it happens when I forget the inward part/realistic part and blame everyone else. Also I can be rude, there are many social ques that I need to get up on, there's so many rules that we don't know or forget to use. First impressions are really important and just by not looking people in the eye when they're talking to you makes them feel less important anyway.

In short, b/c people aren't coping well. Survival depends on the ability to adapt. Executive Function problems cause problems with the brain's Manager -- so the impact on social and other forms of functioning, cause anxiety.

Social anxiety likely makes attention worse, too. It is known that anxiety PROFOUNDLY affects working memory and problem solving, etc.

well said on the executive function.

I wouldn't say anti-depressants do much for working memory and problem solving for us. It likely just takes that cloud out of anxiety that is affecting some decision making. While adding, it all just hides the social anxiety of the awareness of a social dysfunctioning.

I would say that ADD doesn't cause Social Anxiety but whatever causes it causes many of us to be susceptable to it. I would guess that we have the wiring to fall prey to a lot of these companion illnesses, but both nature and nurture, as well as our personalities, all play a part in how we turn out.

I would say that ADD doesn't cause Social Anxiety but whatever causes it causes many of us to be susceptable to it. I would guess that we have the wiring to fall prey to a lot of these companion illnesses, but both nature and nurture, as well as our personalities, all play a part in how we turn out.

Thanks, mccinny, I didn't think of that... that does sound logical.. that sounds right, that ADD doesn't cause Social Anxiety... it would be our personalities and our upbringing, too. Some kids grow up very well adjusted especially if they have parents who encouraged them to try new things. Sometimes even bad experiences can either make us or break us!

I am intimidated by many. I can not go to many functions because I have been treated less than normal by many. They always say I'm forgetful, or dont get how to do things. I left me feeling like basically I cant do anything right.

I just went to work after not being at work for over 6 years. I met some there and customers that like me. I am being put to many hours a week and I am so tired. Now Im forgetting things that people ordered, and Im always late and I can not remember the prices of things. I have to write a list so when the boss leaves, I have all of my orders in front of me.

I am younger than some and still I am needing a list, and am so forgetful. I also have been labeled at a excessive talker.?

Its odd because I am quiet and dont open up, but some how if I feel comfortable around someone, I just talk and talk, I think later that I should have just shut up.

I want to be looked at as dependable and smart, but I dont know. I would love to have a new job, but I have no confidence and I dont know how I could do any other job. I have no computer knowlege, and being add,,,,,,I dont pick it up either. my kids have showed me so many times and I cant get it.

I dont know how to do many things.

I would like to take classes, but I know I will NOT be able to learn. I dont absorb anything I read. so why pay to go to school and not absorb it.

this anxiety around people is driving me crazy. I get panic attacks when I have a function to be at,,,,,,,,,,days in advance

What are you supposed to think when you look at someone in the eye? I have the bad habit of looking away as well, i don't know what to do or think.

What are you supposed to think when you look at someone in the eye? I have the bad habit of looking away as well, i don't know what to do or think.

I used to have a problem looking at people in the eye, because then I'd find myself "staring" them in the eye... then I'd have to look away, is that what you mean, xxskar?:confused:

I think my social anxiety is a byproduct of growing up with add and no-one around me understanding me , funny thing is my brother was diagnosed with adhd at an early age and I have never been diagnosed, or even suspected of having it, because I'm not hyper , or erratic . So being lazy , clumsy , ditzy , forgetfull , ect.. with no scapegoat (add) you get to take all the full force of the acusations yourself , you internalize them , pick yourself up try again , and again and again , failure becomes the norm , you learn to cope with it , but not with the ridicule you get from others for it . from then on it taints every decision you make , or don't make , everything you think about yourself and that others think of you . It's horrible , I can deal with the add symptoms, and the constant failure i just pick myself up and try again , but not with the thought of being judged at every turn , the thought of angering (losing) friends and loved ones , fear of not being accepted , or sounding stupid (stuttering and saying uhm every sentance on the phone). In my perfect world where I function the best and live up to my full potential , there are no people .

My comfort level in a situation directly affects my social abilities.

So in new places with new people, I just can't possibly hold up a fast paced interesting conversation and pick out all the new things. I still have the expectation that I should be able to handle these situations, and I try... and when failure results... in comes the anxiety.

Even at my best, like at a friends place in a comfortable setting, I'm going to be odd and strange, which I'm fine with and I can use to my advantage sometimes. When I have horrible brain fog and talk incoherently... my strangeness just gets amplified... and bye bye social skills.

I have always had some level of social anxiety but it depends on the setting. For example, I am not very comfortable at making small talk with new people. I suspect the reason is that it is hard for me to stay engaged in a conversation with someone if I am not interested in the subject or, at the risk of sounding rude, interested in the person. So, I tend to avoid these situations as much as I can.

This topic fits all 3 of our spectrum kids to different degrees. What is interesting is that it effects them all in different ways and my Asperger son is the most social of them all. He loves people, he loves talking to people..it is just in a not so neurotypical way. lol But my 17y daughter makes friends, but she doesn't do anything to keep those friendships going and my ADHD son just seems to have no desire at all to make extra friends. He has friends but views them as odd. lol

I have it very, very mildly, i have many friends and can keep relationships, etc, etc. I am innatentive though and i know i do have social anxiety to some extent. Why though? What about innatentive add causes it?

ps. i read somewhere and it was TOTALLY true (for me) that hyperactive people are better at being outgoing and people tend to like them at the beginning but that it is harder for them to keep friendships/etc.

but that the innatentive type have a harder time actually MAKING friends, but once they do, its forever. what do ya think?

I have an example of why ADD/ADHD may cause social anxiety.

I worked at Ruby Tuesday as a waiter. During Friday nights, I almost got a high every time because there was a million things to do in any one second so I was getting my stimulation. I had to fill the glasses, open tables, place the orders for food, help out others, entertain guests, etc.... but everything had to be done fast and almost all at the same time. Many of my coworkers had no problem doing this stuff but because I have ADHD... I am scatter brained, talking really fast, forgetting things, and fumbling over my own words when talking to guests. The way I acted Fridays nights made me look like I was on drugs or alcohol... and one guest even made fun of me behind my back about it. Ouch.

I have an example of why ADD/ADHD may cause social anxiety.

I worked at Ruby Tuesday as a waiter. During Friday nights, I almost got a high every time because there was a million things to do in any one second so I was getting my stimulation. I had to fill the glasses, open tables, place the orders for food, help out others, entertain guests, etc.... but everything had to be done fast and almost all at the same time. Many of my coworkers had no problem doing this stuff but because I have ADHD... I am scatter brained, talking really fast, forgetting things, and fumbling over my own words when talking to guests. The way I acted Fridays nights made me look like I was on drugs or alcohol... and one guest even made fun of me behind my back about it. Ouch.

That is so rude of guests:mad:. As if they're perfect. But I think some reasons why we're made fun of is because the person who is making fun of us is no better than we are and laughing may make them feel better that they're not the only ones with a "problem", even if just for a moment. But, I believe in Karma: "What goes around comes around"... Good thing I'm not a waitress, I have a bad habit of being sarcastic - but in a subtle way. I'd ask them if they're ready for their just desserts? (Then I'd quit before I got fired)...

At a local restaurant, I heard that a customer was rude to a waitress. The waitress told one of the cooks and the cook threw that customer's steak on the floor, picked it up again and finished cooking it. Which is why I wouldn't be rude to a waiter or waitress... but that's not the main reason... I admire the work that wait staff persons do because I know I definitely couldn't do it. It's amazing when a waitress or waiter can take orders and remember them without writing them down.

OMG, I guess ADD affecting so many aspect of our lives! I self diagnose myself with ADD just yesterday :D
And already everything seems much clearer now, i finally know what is wrong with me!
And like many of you I also get easily overwhelmed in many social situation especially that involves many people. I'm doing fine in one on one interaction except with figure of authority. I always have this uneasy feeling towards them without reason, even though my boss is really nice to me but he still makes me nervous and scare.

I thought I was just painfully shy and have low self esteem. But I guess the ADD also contribute to it?

OMG, I guess ADD affecting so many aspect of our lives! I self diagnose myself with ADD just yesterday :D
And already everything seems much clearer now, i finally know what is wrong with me!
And like many of you I also get easily overwhelmed in many social situation especially that involves many people. I'm doing fine in one on one interaction except with figure of authority. I always have this uneasy feeling towards them without reason, even though my boss is really nice to me but he still makes me nervous and scare.

I thought I was just painfully shy and have low self esteem. But I guess the ADD also contribute to it?

Yup, I used to be nervous around my bosses. I was unable to relax during my "breaks"... also afraid to go "over" my breaks and would check my watch frequently. Seems like, after getting a lot of work done, after I'd sit down for a break, in comes the Superintendent. I hated that.

Much of it is learned behavior. I still get high-blood pressure and overly nervous when in the simplest of social settings. Tonight I had to talk to a service manager at the local car dealership. I had no problem talking to him, but realized while waiting that my heart was pounding and I had all of this nervous energy. Its as if even though I wasn't really concerned, my body was reacting to a situation similar to past ones and thus I got nervous.

I also find that the longer I go without speaking regularly or just speaking up that the less I really want to interact. In the back of my mind I'm afraid I'm developing some weird anti-social behaviour. I get a bit paranoid about people and don't like going out places by myself. I get fairly irritable easier and easier now when dealing with people in public. Whereas I used to be very easy going.

D

Much of it is learned behavior. I still get high-blood pressure and overly nervous when in the simplest of social settings. Tonight I had to talk to a service manager at the local car dealership. I had no problem talking to him, but realized while waiting that my heart was pounding and I had all of this nervous energy. Its as if even though I wasn't really concerned, my body was reacting to a situation similar to past ones and thus I got nervous.

I also find that the longer I go without speaking regularly or just speaking up that the less I really want to interact. In the back of my mind I'm afraid I'm developing some weird anti-social behaviour. I get a bit paranoid about people and don't like going out places by myself. I get fairly irritable easier and easier now when dealing with people in public. Whereas I used to be very easy going.

D

I'm sorry, D... I didn't mean to sound like you don't have a problem... I was just trying to relate to what you've gone through. Of course, your problem is much worse than mine (is now, or ever has been)... You do need to get some professional help as soon as possible so you don't have to feel like that and sometimes be afraid to get out. That's not healthy.

Praying for you, D! Keep us posted...

DotwithADD, glad to know I'm not the only one...

I'm curious though, after getting treatment and med does this social anxiety and anything that comes with ADD changed at all? Is there any noticeable difference?

DotwithADD, glad to know I'm not the only one...

I'm curious though, after getting treatment and med does this social anxiety and anything that comes with ADD changed at all? Is there any noticeable difference?

Some difference... though, of course, not 100% better... nothing ever is, even with the best medications. But, yes, there is a difference... but it hasn't changed (yet) my bad habits of going to bed late and sleeping late... only I can change those habits with or without meds. I believe it's easier with them, though. As for the anxiety... I don't have that as much, either. I think the Paroxetine helps that as well as the Metadate... probably the combination of the two. , I pray daily, more than once a day, but not only for myself, of course. I do hope you see a change, even a little helps.

I have been making myself do my homework early instead of waiting at the last minute like I used to. The meds have also helped me to comprehend a little better, even though I still have problems not wanting to read a lot... I still skim... But, again, yes... there is a difference. Remember, no medication is "perfect", but if it helps, even a little, that's worth it.

dotwithADD, thanks for the explanation and wow that sounds like a lot of medication :D
I'm very excited and curious to see how knowing me having ADD and trying to beat it will affect my social anxiety.. But I'm keeping my hopes high at the moment :D:D:D

I agree with the idea that social anxiety is all or mostly learned behaviour, and it's easy to see why it's a side effect of a condition which makes you look like an alien to most people! I developed a debilitating level of social anxiety mostly because of bullying throughout my school life - other kids could tell I was different as soon as I started school, and complete rejection from my peers (for a long time in high school I had no friends at all) led to the assumption that no one would ever do otherwise. The rejection hurt, and so I was terrified of showing anything of myself to other people and avoided social interaction as much as possible. At the lowest point in my life I would leave my room only when I had to buy food. Of course, this kind of eccentric behaviour pushes others away even more and makes the idea of going back to interacting with people more and more frightening, and it becomes a vicious cycle which fuels itself.

I think the same goes for people with Asperger's and other disorders which make you look "weird" to other people - the high incidence of social anxiety is to be expected, I think. Kids - and a lot of adults - are freaked out by people who don't behave in the way they perceive to be normal. After years of work, I'm almost over my social anxiety issues, but I have a huge amount of sympathy for people who are driven into the same place, because it's a horrible place to be in.

Probably because a dysfunction of dopamine is also correlated to social phobia just as much as to ADHD.

I agree it CAN BE learned behaviour, but not always.

For me, I too get anxious when it comes to interacting with strangers. Prior to being drugged - er, medicated - I'd get a rush of 'if, else' conditions that would flood my head and all these scenarios would start spreading like wildfire througout my head, what if they say/do this, ask that, do they know about this/that, do I hold the door, open it first, etc..

That's all just within the first few seconds of the "engagement". So ultimately, I found it easier to just avoid people because the stress became too much.

Now, I find it easier for me to just let others initiate. Let them take the first stab at it and then I can manage my way from there but I'll rarely (if ever) initiate conversations with strangers. Secondly, if it's someone I know or sort of know, or think I know - I'll 9 times out of 10, do the same - let them take the first step.

I figure that way, if they don't say anything to me then they don't want to talk to me and therefore saves me from embarassing myself or wasting their time.

I can totally relate to you, the stress that builds up from day to day activities becomes so much that eventually we don't want anything to so with people so we just isolate ourselves in the path of least resistance because it's the easiest.

When I'm around people I don't know and I'm tryi g to hold a conversation or watch tv I cannot stop thinking about what the other people think of me like I'm going to be harshly judged no matter what if I open my mouth, like I have no freedom at all. My mind races about irrational silly thoughts whicch leads me to contributing nothing to the Convo which frustrates me like no other which over time depresses me and lowers my self esteem.

When I'm around people I don't know and I'm tryi g to hold a conversation or watch tv I cannot stop thinking about what the other people think of me like I'm going to be harshly judged no matter what if I open my mouth, like I have no freedom at all. My mind races about irrational silly thoughts whicch leads me to contributing nothing to the Convo which frustrates me like no other which over time depresses me and lowers my self esteem.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and some meds. Its a slow process, but I'm 50% there. Try it.

but that the innatentive type have a harder time actually MAKING friends, but once they do, its forever. what do ya think?


I to agree as someone who is innattentive. Its because the hyperactives are

extroverts and their energy is appealing until you've received too much.

The innattentives are introverts and like one on one. They just cling more too.

dotwithADD, thanks for the explanation and wow that sounds like a lot of medication :D
I'm very excited and curious to see how knowing me having ADD and trying to beat it will affect my social anxiety.. But I'm keeping my hopes high at the moment :D:D:D

That's good, winnie! And you're welcome. It is great when we find out there is an explanation for our misunderstood behaviors... Well, yeah (medications). But, so far so good - I'm sure that someday, I'll have to take more medications as I get older. I believe that's inevitable. My mom takes even more - she's 82 years old, has Diabetes Type II, high blood pressure, etc.. (I'm not sure what else she has, but no more than other people her age, I'm sure).

Dot, How's your treatment coming along? Still making progress and noticing a difference?

D

ooh I have so many links to social anxiety from my child hood, how each feeling was just because I was in a bubble or that I just didn't really exist to many.. I think i've spent my entire life running away from my childhood, high school was suppose to be the best- got depressed at the end of that. College was suppose to be a new start and do whatever you want! still got depressed....but first I have to get to sleep i'll come back later :)