Mincan
01-17-08, 12:55 AM
I have an ACTUAL APPOINTMENT with my psychiatrist on the 27th or 28th.
I like the Ritalin (10mg 3xdaily), but there are a lot of side effects. I will list them here:
-The first 1.5 months, extreme anxiety and paranoia which subsided after I stopped taking Wellbutrin, and disappeared almost totally when I started 5-HTP a week ago.
-Muscle tension, in neck and chest, again, less as time goes on, and a lot less since taking 5-HTP, almost gone.
-slight headaches at the end of the day every few days (not even enough to really inconvience me)
-The first month with Wellbutrin, heart rate and blood pressure through the roof, dropped by almost half when I stoped the Wellbutrin, less and less last month as I was getting used to it and almost hardly noticable at all since starting the 5-HTP (I know its getting repetitive!)
- I realise most of these are somatic and increased from my OCD, I will focus on somatic effects the entire first hour I'm on it, which really blows, but the 5-HTP has gotten rid of a lot of the OCD, so maybe it wasn't the Ritalin doing these things, just my constant concern and obsession. Plus, when I was medicated with Ritalin from ages 6-12, I had none of these problems at all.
Anyway, the benefits outweighed the side effects right from the get go.
-Focus (ability to watch TV for more than 30 seconds, to read more than 3 pages of a book, to not listen to only certain parts of songs and then switch them constantly, being able to type out nice long posts on forums such as this, ability to look people in the eyes and not actually be thinking about something else, ability to concentrate on a coversation between more people, etc etc ad infinitum!)
-Concentration (unfortunately sometimes it will be on the side effects which I'm sure make them worse)
-Listening abilities
-Motivation to do things around the house
-more and more I'm getting really really calm on it, today I almost fell asleep an hour and a half into a dose!
-increased self-confidence
-less passive, more assertive (which I need I was a people pleaser)
-less in my head all the time, more in the environment and actually notice people, wow never knew they could be so interesting lol especially when they start speaking and your mind doesn't instantly tune them out and you have to pretend you are talking to them while also thinking about what you want and feel the need to.
-no more mental clutter, only one thought at a time...5-HTP improved the clarity of though as well (when I describe mental clutter, I mean the feeling that I have to think of stuff and create priority lists and makes my mind more hyper and me anxious, clarity of mind is more a feeling of nothing is wrong and I don't have to worry, now what can I concentrate on?)
So anyway, I've only ever been on Ritalin before (like I said ages 6-12 and now) but I think I should be given the opportunity to try dextroamphetamine, to see if it improves anything more, plus if it has less side effects, which I often read it does, with more mental effects/less body effects.
Okay, that's cool, I can ask him to try it a month and that wouldn't be so difficult. However, there's history involved:
-He knows I've used cannabis to self-medicate, and he asked me what it did for me and I explained it to him. He also knows that the Ritalin removes my compulsive want of it because the Ritalin does everything it does for me and so much more with less incapacitation. So I don't really know if he considers me drug seeking or not. I've never done any other substances other than alcohol. He knows this too.
-I've had terrible responses to all 3 anti-depressants he has prescribed me, and I stopped only the first after talking to him about it, because it didn't increase my anxiety. The other two I took myself off of and didn't tell him until after the fact, because they raised my anxiety in the case of the first one and the other one gave me those terrible brain shiver electric shock sensations throughout the day and especially trying to sleep making me afraid to sleep and giving me insomnia. I haven't told him about stopping the latest one because I haven't seen him since he prescribed it, so I have to break that to him.
-The last time I was there, it was because he wanted to know why I stopped Wellbutrin and Xanax on my own. I promised him and my support worker who was there that I would take this anti-depressant as perscribed! I feel so anxious, but they aren't the ones getting pulsing shocks through their body at 4am trying to sleep! He's going to be so sick and tired of this.... :(
-I've started something on my own without consulting him, 5-HTP, as I'm sure everyone is well aware via my rantings. I don't know how he will like this. I do not know if he's into suppliments over prescription ADs. I will tell him all that its done for me though.
-You know as fellow ADHDers that I've over-analysed this for far too many days, and you know it's causing me extreme anxiety and hyperfocusing...plus I got OCD...sigh. You also know I've created 10,000 different ways to present this information to him, and created another 10,000 reactions that he might give me.
So my questions are:
-How do I format all this information for him? (priority, order, etc)
-How should I tell him I stopped the anti-depressant?
-How should I present the question of trying another ADHD med? How do you think he will view this?
Thank you for your suggestions, I need them, even if just to affirm my preconceptions...I guess he is right maybe I got GAD...
I like the Ritalin (10mg 3xdaily), but there are a lot of side effects. I will list them here:
-The first 1.5 months, extreme anxiety and paranoia which subsided after I stopped taking Wellbutrin, and disappeared almost totally when I started 5-HTP a week ago.
-Muscle tension, in neck and chest, again, less as time goes on, and a lot less since taking 5-HTP, almost gone.
-slight headaches at the end of the day every few days (not even enough to really inconvience me)
-The first month with Wellbutrin, heart rate and blood pressure through the roof, dropped by almost half when I stoped the Wellbutrin, less and less last month as I was getting used to it and almost hardly noticable at all since starting the 5-HTP (I know its getting repetitive!)
- I realise most of these are somatic and increased from my OCD, I will focus on somatic effects the entire first hour I'm on it, which really blows, but the 5-HTP has gotten rid of a lot of the OCD, so maybe it wasn't the Ritalin doing these things, just my constant concern and obsession. Plus, when I was medicated with Ritalin from ages 6-12, I had none of these problems at all.
Anyway, the benefits outweighed the side effects right from the get go.
-Focus (ability to watch TV for more than 30 seconds, to read more than 3 pages of a book, to not listen to only certain parts of songs and then switch them constantly, being able to type out nice long posts on forums such as this, ability to look people in the eyes and not actually be thinking about something else, ability to concentrate on a coversation between more people, etc etc ad infinitum!)
-Concentration (unfortunately sometimes it will be on the side effects which I'm sure make them worse)
-Listening abilities
-Motivation to do things around the house
-more and more I'm getting really really calm on it, today I almost fell asleep an hour and a half into a dose!
-increased self-confidence
-less passive, more assertive (which I need I was a people pleaser)
-less in my head all the time, more in the environment and actually notice people, wow never knew they could be so interesting lol especially when they start speaking and your mind doesn't instantly tune them out and you have to pretend you are talking to them while also thinking about what you want and feel the need to.
-no more mental clutter, only one thought at a time...5-HTP improved the clarity of though as well (when I describe mental clutter, I mean the feeling that I have to think of stuff and create priority lists and makes my mind more hyper and me anxious, clarity of mind is more a feeling of nothing is wrong and I don't have to worry, now what can I concentrate on?)
So anyway, I've only ever been on Ritalin before (like I said ages 6-12 and now) but I think I should be given the opportunity to try dextroamphetamine, to see if it improves anything more, plus if it has less side effects, which I often read it does, with more mental effects/less body effects.
Okay, that's cool, I can ask him to try it a month and that wouldn't be so difficult. However, there's history involved:
-He knows I've used cannabis to self-medicate, and he asked me what it did for me and I explained it to him. He also knows that the Ritalin removes my compulsive want of it because the Ritalin does everything it does for me and so much more with less incapacitation. So I don't really know if he considers me drug seeking or not. I've never done any other substances other than alcohol. He knows this too.
-I've had terrible responses to all 3 anti-depressants he has prescribed me, and I stopped only the first after talking to him about it, because it didn't increase my anxiety. The other two I took myself off of and didn't tell him until after the fact, because they raised my anxiety in the case of the first one and the other one gave me those terrible brain shiver electric shock sensations throughout the day and especially trying to sleep making me afraid to sleep and giving me insomnia. I haven't told him about stopping the latest one because I haven't seen him since he prescribed it, so I have to break that to him.
-The last time I was there, it was because he wanted to know why I stopped Wellbutrin and Xanax on my own. I promised him and my support worker who was there that I would take this anti-depressant as perscribed! I feel so anxious, but they aren't the ones getting pulsing shocks through their body at 4am trying to sleep! He's going to be so sick and tired of this.... :(
-I've started something on my own without consulting him, 5-HTP, as I'm sure everyone is well aware via my rantings. I don't know how he will like this. I do not know if he's into suppliments over prescription ADs. I will tell him all that its done for me though.
-You know as fellow ADHDers that I've over-analysed this for far too many days, and you know it's causing me extreme anxiety and hyperfocusing...plus I got OCD...sigh. You also know I've created 10,000 different ways to present this information to him, and created another 10,000 reactions that he might give me.
So my questions are:
-How do I format all this information for him? (priority, order, etc)
-How should I tell him I stopped the anti-depressant?
-How should I present the question of trying another ADHD med? How do you think he will view this?
Thank you for your suggestions, I need them, even if just to affirm my preconceptions...I guess he is right maybe I got GAD...